Rogers always took a souvenir of a piece of clothing and a page from his victim’s school notebook so that he would remember their names. The authorities had found his treasures from the other two girls he’d raped because he had them in the apartment where he stayed, but they hadn’t discovered this. Maxine James had been special. They had been hot on his trail, and he’d come to the cemetery and buried the items while she had been tied up in his apartment. He still didn’t know where she lived, but he had her name, at least, her maiden name. Conway was a small town. If she had married, he could find out. Someone would know her.
He looked at his watch. Jessup would be coming back any minute. He would tell him that he cleared off his mother’s grave if he asked him about the dirt on his hands.
He quickly dusted himself off and headed back toward the front gate to wait for his ride.
Matthew pulled into a vacant lot before heading to the rec center. He needed a moment to think. Everything his father said ran through his mind. Why had he even listened to his father back then? Why hadn’t he been more independent, like Eric? He didn’t know. Yes, he’d always had his own mind and he did what he wanted, but still a part of him respected his father and his outlook on things.
He reached the conclusion that maybe he never pressed the issue because he had never felt about any woman the way he felt about Maxine James. Perhaps if he’d met her in high school he would not have listened to his father’s advice back then.
He knew that Jeremy and Eric loved their women. It was obvious. Matthew had to admit to himself that he’d never loved any woman before. Was this love? Was this all-consuming attraction he had for Max really love?
He realized that he thought about her all the time and wanted to be with her. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t bother with a woman like Max, a woman who’d suffered such devastating trauma at the hands of some brute at such a young age.
He knew that whatever man that wanted her had to be gentle and careful and kind and considerate. Most likely he’d have to go with her to counseling to help her work through her issues. Her heart had been shattered. She said that she was broken. Could he help her become whole?
Deep down he wanted to be that man, which let him know that it was more than just sexual attraction. He’d bought her a gift for no apparent reason. He’d never done that before. The women he’d dealt with in the past asked for things and wanted him to take them places and spend money on them. All Max wanted was a relationship, a man to love her. He knew that he wanted to be that man.
Matthew decided that he’d talk to her when he saw her. He was tired of fighting the attraction he felt. If he needed to apologize to both Jeremy and Eric and confess his feelings for Max, he’d do that. He needed some peace in his life. He hoped that they would understand.
He started the car and pulled out of the lot. By now his parents would be at the center wondering where he was, but he felt lighthearted and free now that he’d made up his mind about Max. Today was Thanksgiving, and he was ready to face the world and Maxine James and confess his feelings and deal with the consequences.
CHAPTER 17
And let the peace of God rule your hearts to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Colossians 3:15
Max arrived at the Conway Recreation Center and waited in her car for someone to come and help her unload. She looked at her watch. Rachel said that they would be there by one and it was now one-fifteen.
She looked up to see a car pull into the lot along with a truck that she knew belonged to Matthew’s father. She didn’t recognize the car. The truck pulled up, and she got out to walk over.
“I was wondering where you guys were,” she said as Rachel got out carrying two bags.
“Sorry, we were running late,” Rachel said.
“She’s been cooking for days it seems,” Matt’s father added, picking up more bags.
Max watched as the man from the other car walked up to the door with a set of keys.
“That’s Ralph Johnson,” Rachel said, pointing. “He’s opening and closing for us today.”
They started carrying the food into the center, and Max wondered when Matthew was coming. She didn’t want to ask his parents.
“I wonder what’s keeping Matthew,” Rachel said, looking out the door. “I thought he was right behind us.”
“He probably had to stop to cool off.” Matthew Sr. chuckled.
Max wondered what he meant by that. She walked back to her car to get the rest of the items and looked up to see Matthew pulling up into the parking lot.
Max’s heart was beating fast as she watched him out of the corner of her eye. She had made up her mind to remain cool, calm, and collected. He would have to approach her because she was sticking to what she had told him on the phone. Yet she had to admit that she missed him and missed his voice, and she strained to hear him as he got out and talked to his parents.
She picked up more items from her car and watched as he opened the trunk. She went into the center and tried not to look back at him.
After the last of the food was carried in, Matthew walked up to her in the center’s kitchen. Max found herself smiling in spite of herself. She was glad to see him. He looked tired, and there were faint circles under his eyes. She wondered if he had been sleeping poorly.
“Can I see you outside for a minute?” he asked in a low voice.
“Sure,” Max said, glancing at Rachel, who was talking to Mr. Johnson. Max followed him as he went to his car and opened the passenger door. He then pulled out a large gift bag and handed it to her.
“What’s this?” she asked, looking at the bag in surprise.
“Just something I want you to have.” Matt handed it to her.
“Do you want me to open it now?” Max asked.
“Please.”
She put the bag on the trunk of his car and pulled out the large box inside. She opened it and saw the boots that she had been wanting. On top of them was a matching pair of gloves.
“Matthew, why did you do this?” she asked, stunned. “It’s not my birthday-”
“I heard your mom say you wanted them, and I just bought them for you.” He was watching her closely, and she didn’t know what to think. Today was Thanksgiving, not Christmas.
Max stared at the gift. She knew that he had to have spent over $300 for the boots alone. She didn’t know how much the gloves had cost him.
“Matt, this is too much! I’m not your wife or even your girlfriend. It’s not proper for me to accept an expensive gift like this from you,” she said, handing it back to him. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m trying to make amends. I’m just trying to show you how I feel,” Matt replied, raising his hands and refusing to take the boots. “Don’t you like my gift? I wanted you to know how sorry I am that I upset you.”
“Why can’t you just tell me how you feel? Do you think you can buy me?” she asked, looking longingly at the boots. She then looked back at him with a frown. “I’m not for sale!”
“I’m not trying to buy you! You know better than that!” he snapped. Max noticed the hurt in his voice. “I’ve never met a woman who didn’t want something. I thought this would show you how I feel about you. I want things to be right between us.”
“Buying me expensive gifts is not what it’ll take to make things right between us,” she said, shaking her head.
“Max.”
“Maybe you’ve been hanging around the wrong type of women,” Max said quietly. What she wanted was him, not the things he could buy her. What kind of women had he been dealing with? “Here take your gift. I don’t want it!”
He snatched the bag from her hand and walked over to her car. He found that it wasn’t locked and threw the package in the backseat and slammed the door. “You’ll need to lock that!”
“I told you I didn’t want it,” Max said firmly, walking over to him. “I told you that I’m not the type of woman that can be bought with gifts!”
“Then
maybe you need to show me the type of woman you are. Maybe you need to keep the gift and just be my woman,” Matthew snapped, pulling her into his arms.
He didn’t wait for her to reply but began kissing her hungrily. Max thought about reprimanding him further for trying to buy her affections, but his kisses were overwhelming her. She had missed him, and he smelled delicious. She groaned as his tongue dueled with hers as he deepened the kiss.
“Max, please. I can’t live like this any longer,” he groaned, after breaking the kiss and nibbling on her ear. “I want you.”
Max felt her head spinning. His kisses ignited a fire in her, and her stomach jumped. She could feel herself becoming aroused from his kisses and quickly remembered what happened when they were last together.
She pulled back. “Are you asking me to be your woman, Matt? Do you know what that entails? Can you face the world with me on your arm?”
“All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I want to be with you, and before you ask, it’s not about sex; I don’t know why you’re the one. I just need some peace, and I have it when I’m with you. I’m tired of fighting what I feel. I’m tired of sleepless nights. I’m tired of being miserable. Please keep the gift. I bought the boots to try to show you how serious I am about a relationship with you, not to buy your affections.”
“How many other women have you bought boots for?” Max asked as he pulled her closer.
“None.”
“But you’ve bought other women gifts, right?”
Matthew sighed. “Yes, I’ve bought them things that they’ve asked for. You didn’t ask me for anything, but when I saw your mother in the mall and she said that you loved the boots, I just had to buy them, and I couldn’t wait to see the look on your face when you opened them.”
“Why? Why are you doing this?” she demanded, pulling away from him.
“Because even though I’ve been kicking and screaming in denial, I want you, Max. I want a relationship, and I have no control over these feelings I have for you. I’ve never felt this way about any woman before. You told me that you loved me, remember? Well, I think I’m falling in love with you too.” He pulled her back into his arms.
“I don’t know.”
“Please,” he said, holding her close. “Can’t we see where this goes? I know you have feelings for me, and I have feelings for you. I don’t know what’ll happen, but I want to be with you.”
She looked at him. “Look, I’ve got to get back inside and help your mother. We’re going to talk about this some more later.”
“All right,” he replied, smiling and then giving her a quick kiss. “But you’re my girl. We’re in a relationship, OK?”
“OK,” Max agreed with a grin.
“What are you two doing out here? We’ve got work to do!” Rachel said, sticking her head out of the door.
Max walked back inside and looked at Rachel, who was grinning broadly. Rachel gave Matthew the side eye.
“Did Max tell you that she’s singing on the program that David has put together before dinner?”
Matthew looked surprised and turned to Max. “No, she didn’t. I didn’t even realize there was going to be a program! I thought we were just eating.”
“No, there’s a whole service before dinner. It won’t be long. You’ll enjoy it,” Rachel replied, checking the oven. “Matthew, why don’t you go on out there and greet people and direct them to bring their food back here into the kitchen.”
Soon more people began to arrive with more food. Rachel and Max began organizing everything with a few other people helping them, and soon the place was abuzz.
Rachel had set up tables with the family’s names, and Matthew and Eric were helping people find their tables as they came in. Max noticed that Charlotte had one of the babies and Janice had the other. People were coming up to them making a fuss over the girls. It was amazing to her what babies could do for race relations. Both sides of the family appeared to be totally in love with the twins.
Reverend Ferguson started talking on the microphone as Max peeked out of the kitchen. The program was about to start.
“I’ll have to go out in a little while,” Max said, looking back at Rachel.
“We’re all going out. Everything is ready, and the ovens are on warm.” Rachel said, grabbing her arm. “I’m not missing this for the world!”
Reverend Ferguson was talking as Max and Rachel sat at a small table near the kitchen door. They had a good view of the stage and could see the entire hall.
“So what’s going on between you and Matthew?” she whispered to Max.
“I’ll let you know when I know,” Max replied with a laugh.
Reverend Ferguson opened with prayer and began introducing the tables. Max was surprised that her Aunt Betty was there with some of her children. This would prove to be interesting. She looked for her cousin Carl, who would play the drums when they sang, but he hadn’t arrived.
The program started off with the Fergusons. Tara sang a solo to prerecorded music. Several of Eric’s cousins that Max did not know played instruments, and one read a poem.
She took off her apron as Reverend Ferguson began introducing her. She looked around for her cousins and her sister, who was supposed to help her out by singing backup. Nadine met her as she walked up front. She was relieved to see her cousin Carl on the drums and his sister Addie on the keyboard. She looked out into the audience and spotted Jeremiah who gave her thumbs up.
“Maxine James is going to sing for us, but I understand that she has prepared something to say first.” Reverend Ferguson smiled and handed her the microphone.
“Hello, everybody,” Max said, grinning. “This is Thanksgiving, and I know we all have something to be thankful for. I appreciate Rev. Ferguson asking me to sing. The song I chose is a song sung by Aretha Franklin. It’s called “Climbing Higher Mountains.”
She looked around at the crowd and spotted Matthew watching her. She had debated for days whether or not to say what she was about to say, but part of her knew that voicing her feelings out loud would help in her healing process and maybe even help someone else. She was tired of feeling embarrassed by what happened to her. Dr. Nelson had stressed over and over again that it wasn’t her fault. She concluded that, if she had nothing to be ashamed of, then she could stand tall and talk about her experiences. This was her own personal therapy session, and if after it was over Matthew weren’t totally turned off, then she knew that their relationship stood a chance. She looked out into the sea of smiling faces, many of whom were her family.
“Now I chose this song because I can relate to it personally,” she began. “Some of you may know the struggles I have been going through. I am growing stronger every day, and I have found through therapy that it helps to talk about it. God is good. He has blessed me. I am still alive. When I was thirteen I was kidnapped, attacked, molested, and held against my will. It was an experience that I didn’t think I could ever recover from, but people prayed for me. I am just getting to the point that I can talk about it without breaking down. I’m still trying to get to that place called home. For me, home is living a normal life.”
Max felt the tears in her eyes. She had made up her mind not to cry, but she couldn’t help it.
“I’m climbing high mountains because, you know, it gets hard sometimes.” Her voice cracked and the center was deadly quiet. “The road may be rough and hard, but I’m determined not to give up!”
She looked around the room again and then to her sister who gave her an encouraging smile.
“I thank God for the people who he’s sent my way to help me. So I want you to know I’m still climbing high mountains trying to get home.”
She nodded at Addie and began to play the piano. Max held the mic and closed her eyes. She started singing the song and heard people began to clap in time.
“I’m climbing…high mountains trying to get home…”
“Sing, girl!” someone yelled from the audience.
&n
bsp; Max continued to sing, moving to the beat of the music and thinking about all she had been through. She knew that standing before these people was a big step for her, but she felt that she needed to do it, to speak it out loud. She began to rock back and forth as the tempo of the song sped she rocked faster. She sang loud with all her heart.
“My road has been a little rocky…on my way home…”
She glanced over at Nadine singing backup and felt the tears run down.
Nadine cautiously eyed Max as she began jumping up and down with tears flowing down her face. Max continued to sing without missing a beat, but Nadine knew that she was getting very emotional. She glanced over at Eric as she continued singing backup.
By now Max was singing and dancing around the stage, and several women grabbed her arms and began to fan her. They led her down off of the stage, and the music continued to play loudly. Max continued to sing and jump even with them holding her. Her mother jumped up and came over to her. Nadine glanced at Eric, who was watching Max. She stopped singing and took the microphone from Max and looked at the audience.
“Isn’t God good?” Nadine asked. The people agreed and began to clap as Max was led off the stage. Nadine noticed mostly it was her family clapping as she was sure that the Fergusons were not exactly sure what had just happened.
She handed the microphone to Reverend Ferguson and returned to her seat next to Eric.
“I’m going to check on Max,” she whispered noticing Matthew get up and followed the ladies holding Max into the kitchen. She then noticed Jeremiah headed in the same direction and hoped that there wouldn’t be a confrontation between him and Matthew.
“Is she all right?” Eric asked, looking worried.
“Sure. She’s fine,” Nadine said, patting his arm.
She looked up to see Grandma Nellie walk up to the microphone after Reverend Ferguson called her up. He glanced at the kitchen and then back at Grandma Nellie.
“I believe that at ninety Mrs. Nellie Ferguson is the oldest person here,” he was saying. “We want to thank Maxine for that powerful song and also thank those on the instruments. Why don’t you introduce yourselves?” He looked at Grandma Nellie. “I know you have something to say, Ma, but let’s get the musicians who accompanied Maxine to introduce themselves.”
Broken: The sequel to THE PREACHER'S SON Page 21
