by Trisha Wolfe
“Wait one second,” I say to Bax and the others. Bax must understand my intent, because without asking, he takes the key from Caben and hands it to me. I give him a quick nod.
Then I ready my sword as I walk toward Teagan’s cell. I give her a stern glare, and unlock the door. “This means nothing other than I believe I may need you. And I don’t want any of your sordid knowledge falling into the wrong hands.” Like our Council’s, or Julian’s, when they discover Caben is long gone and I’ve escaped.
Her lips spread into a slow, creepy smile, and I almost regret my decision. Grabbing her arm, I lead her toward Bax and then take one of the chained cuffs from his belt. I’m sure they’re what Caben used to hold him hostage…but I drive that from my head. My range of emotions has already spread me thin. I only cuff one of her wrists, so she can run if needed, but link the other to Bax’s belt.
His furrowed brow voices his displeasure with this idea. I shrug. “If they get to me, you can get her out of here. We might need her.”
Whether it’s a sound strategy or he’s losing patience, I’m not sure. But he just grunts and leads the councilor ahead of me. I smile.
I fall in behind our party moving through the corridor. “Do we have any kind of plan? Where are we going from here?”
“One of three down,” Caben says, holding up three fingers as he jogs in a drunken pattern in front of us.
I look to Bax for an explanation. “You and the Perinyian queen are two. Three is my family,” he says.
Of course. And the Nactue make this retreating party of traitors complete. At some point, I figure we’ll all meet up and…await Caben’s transformation into the damned goddess. But at least we’ll be away from those who would kill anyone in order to see that fail. There’s no solution yet, but maybe now we can find one.
With that thought, I glance at Teagan. I’ll find a way to stall Bale, even if that means tearing the cursed moon from the sky.
♦ 21 ♦
Caben
TAKING A SWIG OF liquor from my flask, I peer at Kal over the rim. That’s not an easy task to perform while dashing through hallways and down stairways. With a mismatched party of fugitives. And mutants.
But my eyes always find her.
She’s the light to my dark. Everything within me gravitates toward her—wants to be bathed in her brilliance.
My booted foot trips over a step, and I nearly fall face first into the marble floor. I right myself at the last moment, earning a bemused look from the object of my obsession. Serves me right. I sound like a whipped husband from Cavan.
I need to stay focused. Well, as focused as I can while drinking unduly. Our quickly hatched plan has gone well. So far. But that’s only because the Councils weren’t expecting the Nactue to side with me. Not that they did, of course. It was all for Kal. Their leader. But her faith in my recovery, from what Bax said, is why they agreed to this madness.
My scout reported that, as Bax claimed, Kal had been taken prisoner. Not only her, but my new accomplice, also. With both Councilor Teagan and Kal locked away, that left us with few options. And zero allies. However, Kal’s best friend Lilly proved to be a useful alliance. I suppose she thrilled at the prospect of Kal becoming Bale’s new vessel.
Truly, I should punish my scout for getting caught. I know Bale would have me do just that. But I believe my leadership role is about to become null anyway. Everything is going according to a new and better—although hastened—plan. As long as the Nactue make sure my mother’s safe, I can leave this world…content. Maybe even satisfied.
And they are all about their honor, right? They have to keep their word.
Getting Bax’s family out of harm’s way is the final step before we leave the disaster-riddled country—what’s left of my country. For his ultimate bravery, a near sacrifice in coming to my den, he’s at least earned the safety of his family.
As we round the corner toward their chamber, I decide it’s nearly time.
With a relieved sigh, Bax raises his thick hand and knocks on the door. Three quick raps followed by three slower ones. His family’s secret knock. How special.
The door opens, and Bax’s wife—I assume—falls into his arms. They whisper words of reassurance to one another as his father within the room cradles their baby son. All important possessions have been packed and placed at the ready.
I envy Bax in this moment. Able to feel, caress, touch the ones he loves. Hell, it’s more than envy.
Covet.
Sending a sideways glance at Kal, I accept that my feelings for her are more powerful than love—all white, flowery bullshit. That desolate darkness still lurks inside me…I know. Alcohol can’t void such power. But the combination of all that’s light and dark; good and wicked—whatever stirs within, it’s heightened my emotions for her infinitely.
They’re more raw. Tantalizing. Consuming. They take hold of me and I’m at their mercy. It’s why I don’t have to rationalize my next move.
Taking one last sip from my flask for courage rather than sanity, I hold the cool silver to my lips, savoring. Then I slip it into my pack. I draw my sword. Bax is the first to recognize this action, and he slowly separates from his wife and shields her behind his back. Yes, love. There’s the selfless act of it.
He cares for Kal, too. And would attempt to stop me, if not for being hindered by the woman chained to his side.
“Now, Lake!” I shout, and reach for Kal. I’ve got her unarmed and locked in my arms, forearm anchored around her chest, before Bax can make his move. I kick her sword, sending it farther across the corridor.
Lake’s sword is drawn and aimed at not Bax, but his wife. I give Lake another mental applaud. He went for the hurt instead of the kill.
Kal’s breaths quicken. Her body hums against mine. I can feel the mercury beneath her skin heating, building, summoning strength for the fight. Only she won’t need it. There’s no duel here, only a lost man trying desperately to feed his addiction.
“There’s no more need for this, Caben,” Bax says to me, though his beady little eyes are trained on Lake. “Your mother has been promised to you. As long as no harm comes to Kal, you’ll get what you bargained for.”
A chuckle slips from my mouth. “I have no intention to hurt her.” I use the edge of my blade to bring a hank of Kal’s dark, glossy hair to my nose. Inhale deep. “It’s just time we were leaving.”
I back up a step, coercing Kal to move with me, my sword at her neck, and Bax quickly interjects, “Wait.” I halt.
“Don’t be foolish. Kal cannot be kept safe if she’s anywhere near Bale.” Bax grits his sharp teeth. “This is not the plan.”
“It’s my plan!” I shout. “I’m the one who dies. I’m the one who sacrifices everything…” My arm begins to shake, and I bear down on my sword to keep it steady. “Kal comes with me or I will watch all this”—I fling my sword out for just a second to wave it around—“everyone and everything, burn. Now make sure your little loyal Nactue keep their word, or I just might end her after all.”
It’s an empty threat. At least I try to believe as much. But the frantic circumstance that is my fate has pulled the world from beneath me, and I’m grasping at the seams of my sanity. All I know, all that is real, is Kal. She’s mine.
“I’m all right, Bax,” Kal says. Her voice doesn’t betray the trembling of her body. “Take care of your family. Give the Nactue one last order from me.” She swallows; I sense the hard bob of her throat at it moves against my sword. “They’re to keep the queen of Perinya safe. Guard her as they guard their empress…I—”
I jerk her backward, and she forces out the last of her words quickly. “I belong with Caben.”
A slow smile curls my lips. At last.
Bax’s expression pales even more than his usual pasty shade, but I’m leading us around the corner before any words leave his gaping mouth.
♦ 22 ♦
Kaliope
SINCE THE RECKONING, BAX has become my friend. I trust th
is. Whether or not he initially wanted me to be Bale’s vessel, or if he still has thoughts that I should, seeing as I somehow ended up in Caben’s vicinity so close to Bale’s rebirth… I suppose, it doesn’t matter.
We are friends now. So Teagan can take her slurs and innuendoes, those which she threw at me to make me question everyone, and stuff them. Bax’s actions as of late prove he wouldn’t use me—or at least, if it came down to it, he’d have no choice. And I really can’t fault him there. But first, he’d do everything he could before sacrificing me to Bale…even if it meant leaving behind his family.
It also means one other thing: he doesn’t believe in me.
I realize this now as Caben and I track through the woods. The darkness our only, sorry excuse for a guide. He apparently knows where he’s taking me, and I’m not brave enough yet to ask. Maybe I don’t want to know. Because right now, it’s enough that I’m with him.
My plan was to abandon all who I cared for—in order to keep them safe—and find Caben. Plan accomplished. And to some degree, it’s a better scenario than I envisioned. I had thought we’d trade blows, beat one another to a bloody pulp. And somehow, I’d wear him down enough to lure Bale to the surface. Then…attempt another botched healing like in the Cage?
Clearly not. That failed horribly the first time. I’d thought about offering my own body and mind as a trade. If that’s what it came to, I’d have done it. I’d have found a way to switch places with Caben. But now I see that’s not going to happen. Bale won’t allow it.
She knows I house a part of her. A part she strived hard to banish, and she will fight to never be joined with it again. Teagan believes reuniting the two will make her goddess whole. That it’s my fate to bring them together. But am I allowed to question what happens to me after the fact? Am I to take to becoming a martyr without thought for myself?
That would make me weak, and selfish.
The goddesses picked the wrong human for this job. I’m not some celestial being who puts a whole world before my own desires. I do what I can for the people I love—but I’m not a savior.
I’m afraid. I feel alone. Even as Caben clasps my hand to lead me under a low-hanging branch, I’ve never felt more lonely in my life.
So regardless if I up and decide this moment that I no longer want to be scared and selfish, and I accept this “gift” to become the world’s martyr… Bale won’t simply hop on over into my body. I’m ashamed to admit this, but I don’t know if that realization comes with regret or comfort.
“Just a ways more, love,” Caben says. “We’re close.”
“I’d have thought you’d want to bring your mother, too.” This might be dangerous ground I’m treading, but I need to keep his human side present. His emotions and connections to his life. I doubt the alcohol is helping with that. “Don’t you want her with you?”
His hold tightens around my hand. I’m pushing too hard. “She doesn’t need to see what’s to happen…” He trails off. A heavy puff of breath as he hikes over a bolder, and then, “I want her to remember me how I was. For who I was. All that matters is she’s safe.”
A heaviness fills my chest. Openly discerning this feeling as remorse, I hope his mother does remember. Once I’d found a way to get Caben back, I’d planned to try and help his mother recover. Now, I probably won’t get that chance. I give my head a hard shake. No more lying to myself—I will never get that chance.
I should have done everything I ever intended or wanted to do. But I was so single-minded, so egocentric. I wanted to believe I was doing the right thing and not being self-centered—but if I’m being honest, then I have to admit saving Caben was mostly for me.
I wanted Caben back.
Regrets…they have no place here. I could lose myself in the sheer number weighing on my soul. The only thing that counts now is Caben. The vow I pledged. I already broke one promise by losing his kingdom to Julian. I can’t break another—the most important of all. From this point on, until the moment of Bale’s ascent, I’m fighting for Caben.
With that thought, a sudden, intense pain spikes my chest. My hand grips Caben’s hard as I collapse to the forest floor.
In a blur of movements, he’s on his knees beside me, holding my head off the ground. “Kal? What’s wrong?”
“Something’s not…right,” I manage around short, clipped breaths. The pain intensifies, as if my breastplate is being pierced straight through to my heart.
I close my eyes against Caben’s frantic gaze as he traces every part of me at once. Then as he places a hand in the middle of chest, I say, “No. Wait.”
Anxious, he keeps his palm hovering over me, his mouth pressed in a tight line. I’m surprised he listened, but I don’t want him to send any of his power into me—the way he did at the palace. Though I saw he’s capable of healing, I’m afraid of what could happen; having more of Bale’s power inside me.
And, the pain is starting to lessen. Transforming into a warmth that radiates from beneath my chest and travels my body. As it reaches my limbs, a clear image of Empress Iana appears in my mind. Then I know with certainty it’s my connection to her.
The goddess bond.
Only this feeling is not a warning, nor a glimpse of her current state—it’s the pain that comes from the bond being severed.
I feel tears well in my eyes, and I blink them back. “Help me stand,” I say to Caben. His forehead creases, his mouth parting to say something, but then he nods once and takes my hand in his, his other dipping under the small of my back to help me up.
He doesn’t ask as we slowly start back on our course. For that, I’m thankful. I’m not sure how I could explain the ache pulsing through me at losing the link with my empress. Though it had already begun to weaken, and my faith in her to wane, it was a part of me.
I can’t help but wonder—did I sever it or did she?
Am I being released because of my disobedience, a punishment? Or is she allowing me to seek my own way, free of her?
Regardless of which, I can no longer feel her. I’m truly on my own.
After hours of treading and climbing the jagged outer edge of Perinya, the forest starts to thin. The trees become scattered farther apart, and sand replaces the pine straw. The roar of crashing waves echoes off the giant limestone rocks lining the beach as the sun just blinks on the horizon.
The ocean.
The closest I’ve ever been to it was in Laryn. I remember the floral lightness and the humid blanket that covered my skin. But even there, I was still miles away from the coast. I’ve never been farther than Cavan’s capital or Laryn’s Court in either direction of the Three Realms. I’ve seen images of the beach, though that’s little preparation for what I see once we cross out of the Great Woods.
Something so massive, so never-ending, should terrify me. Powerful waves hammer down on the tightly-packed white sand like the huge being is furious at its existence. As if it’s trying to sever the link between them—but they’re more connected by the violence for it.
My breath ceases in my lungs. At the beauty and chaos of it, but also because the wind is stealing it away. It sends my long strands lashing at my face. And the glimmer of the rising sun peaking from the seam where water meets sky is heart-stopping.
Something inside me recognizes the link. That Caben should be the one here with me now seeing this for the first time. Us, together, bound by love and violence. We’re the spark at the center. Two halves fighting for dominance. Both light and darkness.
“It’s my favorite place,” Caben says, almost too low in the deafening wind.
My heart constricts. He wants his mother to remember him for who he was, yet I’m always to reflect on this moment. Where, had Caben never been possessed, he’d have shown me his place very differently. He’s choosing to spend his last moments alive here. With me.
An overwhelming desire to look into his blue eyes and see him—just Caben—overtakes me. And I’m turning against the wind, searching. He’s standing just feet fr
om the ocean spray, his dark-clad clothing blending into the dark skyline. A silver flask held in one hand near his thigh, his other hand clutching the round pommel of his sword.
I approach him hesitantly, admiring his dark layers of hair whipping around his face. He doesn’t turn to acknowledge me when I’m right beside him, only continues to stare out over the misty water. I don’t want to ruin whatever serenity we’re able to find here. But I need to look into his eyes.
Lifting my hand, I slowly run my fingers through the loose locks just above his nape. He flinches at my touch. He tries to hide it, physically tensing, and squeezes his eyes closed. I step into him, where I can feel the heat of his body. Curling my fingers into his hair, I whisper, “Look at me.”
If what Bax says is true, then this moment can be ours. I hate that he’s anything but rational in his inebriated state—but it’s the closest I’ve been to the real Caben since he told me he loved me in the Cage.
It might be the final time I’m able to tell him that I love him, too, before Bale…
His eyes open. And my heart sinks.
Though they’re the blue I remember and have longed to see again, they’re ringed with silver. Not the gray that lightened them into the brightest blue I’d ever seen, but an ethereal lining that sends shivers down my spine.
He’s in there…somewhere. Fighting. But Bale has her talons in deep. And she’s stronger.
Caben is a skewed version of his formerly honorable self. He might be shutting Bale out of his conscious thoughts, but her dark essence is still pervading his mind. Still, if this is as close to Caben that I’ll ever be again…I’ll take it. If this was to be our future, if he could banish Bale into a corner of his mind always, we might’ve been able to make it work.
But isn’t that just, again, my own selfishness? Wanting to keep him here? He’d forever struggle, an exhaustive battle, just to remain a shadow of his former self. He’d eventually go completely mad. What kind of life would that be?
