by Trisha Wolfe
I’m forced to my knees, a strangled cry muted on my lips. Staring up at him, I plead with my eyes, trying to reach him one last time.
He releases me, and I gasp in a breath. “There. Better. It would be best if you submit willingly, but this works, too.” He shakes out the sheer material and holds it up. A very revealing gown. “Take off your clothes.”
The pain is ebbing, so it’s not what freezes me in place. The cool, calculating way in which he admires me does. We have no time left—I’m losing him.
Pushing aside any shame trying to sway me, I reach for the top button of my uniform.
♦ 25 ♦
Caben
HER SKIN CALLS TO me. Silky and the color of cream. Beneath the beautiful cover, like a translucent taunt, swirls of silver flow. Like a map, inviting me to reach out and track my fingers down the paths.
I’m tempted, but in no hurry. Bale would have me kill her, and I nearly did. I even wanted to—and some part of me still insists it’s what needs to happen. When I’m sober and the dark goddess fills my thoughts, she has me convinced that she’ll not only spare me once she’s corporeal, but she’ll advance my power to that of a god.
It’s the line she’s fed me since the Reckoning.
But the alcohol—as ironic as it is—helps me see clearly. Bale has no intention of keeping me alive. That’s not part of the deal. There has to be a trade; one life for another. Mine for hers, so she can manifest on this plane. That’s how all dark magics work.
Since she’s already taking my life, I think I’ll take Kal for myself. Bale will have her moment soon enough. This is mine. And deep down, I know it’s all wrong. You can’t own a person or force them into submission. Only I can’t seem to quell my need for her any other way.
A chain around her neck catches my attention, and I look closer to see a ring there at its end. Not any ring; my ring. She recoils as I reach for it, but I’m quicker. Taking the silver ring into my hand, I hold it up to the firelight.
The red stone in its center glints. My crest, my family’s crest, fills me with longing. And the fleeting memory of when I entrusted Kal with it burns at the edges of my mind. Irritated at the emotions welling inside me, I unfasten the chain and slip the ring onto my finger. At least that’s one thing of mine properly returned.
Now, on to the other.
“Lift your arms,” I tell her. As she does, I slip the gown over her head. It falls slowly, touching every curve and cascading like water down her body.
My groin swells with need, and I release a shaky breath. Offering her my hand, I allow my gaze to travel over every inch of her. She takes it and I help her stand. Her breasts are beautiful against the barely there fabric, her waist and hips a tantalizing tease. My heart bangs against my rib cage painfully.
Kal’s not ashamed; I’ve seen her naked before. I’ve seen the glass plate that mars her chest and the cybernetic clamp just beneath. I’ve always thought her beautiful because of, not in spite of, her self-perceived defect. But now, she modestly places an arm around her stomach. A reaction, I’m sure, from a lifetime of trying to hide the mercury. “Why?” she asks.
It’s such a direct question, and one deserving of an answer. Why? “Because I have to.” It’s the only answer I can offer. My will is not my own. Not with Bale, not with Kal. Finding some semblance of control over my infatuated need for her requires a measure of dominance.
I dig out the collar in my pocket and move closer to her. Then I sweep her layers of dark hair from her shoulders and clasp the choker around her neck. Her hair still held aloft and warm against my hand from her body heat, I admire my beautiful possession.
A sense of calm settles over me. It won’t last, but it’s enough to prolong the torment I normally suffer.
Kal licks her lips, exciting me further. Backing up a step, her hair falling away from my hold, she says, “You don’t have to do this, Caben. I’m here by my own will. You can’t—”
“Can’t I?” I step into her and hook my finger into the metal ring of the collar. I envisioned a fantasy just like this not long ago, but the reality is so much sweeter. Pulling her face close to mine, I whisper, “Your rules, your queendom’s rules, don’t apply here, Protector. Hell, every rule that has ever existed no longer applies. The world is spiraling into chaos. But here. Now?” I lower my head and rest my lips near hers, just feeling the tremble of them against my mouth. “Our rules are the only ones that matter.”
She yanks back and the collar slips from my finger. “You can’t let her win. You think you’re shutting her out…that you’re controlling this…but Bale wants to kill me. Do you understand that? She’s still using you even now. I can’t trust that she won’t succeed, Caben. Because this”—she motions between us—“isn’t real. It’s not us—not the us that we found together.”
“How are you so sure?”
Her eyes narrow and her head jolts back. I can see her mind tussling with the question, evident by her pursed lips.
“How do you know what we would’ve been together?” I move closer to her, forcing her gaze to travel up to mine. “We were given all of what…days together? What kind of relationship would we have had, had it been allowed to progress? You a dominant female from Cavan, me a dominant male from Perinya?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
I chuckle. “Think about it.” I tap my temple. “There cannot be two heads in any relationship. Someone has to be subservient. Did you truly think it would’ve been me? Because why, you’re the Nactue leader? I’m a king!” I shout.
She flinches.
Grabbing her again by the nape, I look into her face. So precious and all that strength… “You are a leader, Kal. And leaders carry a heavy burden, I know. Maybe you’d have appreciated a man offering you the freedom of not having to be in control every waking second. Maybe that’s why you gravitated toward me. So you could relinquish that burden and responsibility, if only privately. Trusting me to guide you into something new, unknown yet exciting. Just give in to it.” I lower my voice. “This was always inevitable.”
A shimmer of tears coats her eyes, and it causes an ache to build in my chest. I grit my teeth against the annoyance. I can feel her giving over…just a little more…
“I’ll be gone soon. Bale will spring up in my place, and everything that we could have been will vanish.” Her tears spill over. I run my thumb over her cheek, wiping their trail away. “But doesn’t death come for us all? What difference does it make now or later?” Lowering a hand to the weightless material, I rub it between my fingers. Savor the press of her breasts against the shifting gown. “Forget the world. It’s damned. Trust me…belong to me. The way you were bound to.”
She inhales deeply, causing her chest to press against the gown more. My need for her is becoming intolerable; painfully straining against my pants. “Does this help you?” she asks.
I hike my eyebrows. “This?” I try to hold her gaze—the one faltering between tears and acceptance—but her body is begging for my attention.
Grasping the hand toying with the gown, she pulls me flush against her. “This,” she says, and links my arms around her, pressing herself so forcefully against me so that if she moves the slightest, I could release right into my pants.
“Does owning my body rid you of the parasite infecting yours?” Her warm breath skims my neck, and I close my eyes. Feel her. Inhale her. If I don’t taste her soon, the fissures in my skull will crack clean through, and the madness will take me.
But a haunting voice bleeds into my conscience. It lashes at the walls of my mind, trying to be heard over the roaring, infecting chaos: Heart.
Kal is my heart—but I’m not able to discern which is stronger. The heart or the mind. Love or power.
That faint voice grows into a bold whisper, insisting to be heard. Asserting that I don’t want Kal in this way. Regardless of how I’ve poked fun at her queendom, of how I was raised—the right and only way any of this works is through equal
ity. But if I don’t possess her soon, Bale will shred through any sanity I have left, obliterating it and me.
I’m weaker and weaker by the second. I can feel my life draining. Bale will kill me, and then Kal will be in danger of being possessed by her. So rationally, the only choice I have is to take Kal. With or without her permission.
Better she be dominated by me than the dark goddess.
Yes. That settles it. My arms lock closed around her waist. My erection throbs against her body. “Yes, love. It helps. It’s the only way.”
She swallows. “Then I submit.”
A fierce quake rocks me at her words. Is this how the goddesses feel? Having all of humanity bow to them? It’s intoxicating.
And, I never thought the woman who fought fearlessly in the Cage, who decapitated giants, who threatened to slice me stomach to throat during our first interaction, would say those words. It goes against not only her very nature, but every assumption made of the strong, unattainable Nactue women. I’m suddenly wary that the earth will stop spinning and all manner of chaos will ensure.
Although, isn’t that its unavoidable course? I laugh aloud and watch Kal’s dainty features pull together.
“Isn’t that what you’re asking of me?” She tilts her head.
I sink my fingers into her hair and angle her head back. Time to test her. “Absolutely,” I say. “Now, on your knees.”
“What?”
And there it is—the flash of seething resentment in her eyes. Though she quickly checks it, schooling her expression into one of compliance, it was there for an instant. It’s such a waste that I only have hours left with her. A day isn’t enough time to truly own her.
Ah, but it’s enough time to pretend. All kinds of games.
“Fall to your knees,” I demand through clenched teeth.
Her mouth parts, and my angst amplifies as I wait for her to give herself over completely. But she doesn’t. Her obedience is stalled by her damned willfulness.
Heat explodes in my chest. I’m backing her against the wall before I realize my feet are moving. Her back hits the glass and my body traps hers.
“Caben—” My name whooshes from her mouth in a forced exhale. Her shoulders hunch as she recovers from the impact. Then she finds my eyes as I stare down at her, my hands pressed firmly against the wall on either side of her head. The only thing anchoring me to this world and stopping me from losing all control.
“I will do whatever I can…” She squeezes her eyes shut. When she opens them again, her resolve is in place. Rivers of glowing silver swirl around the contours of her cheeks. “Whatever I can to make this easier for you, because Goddess knows I deserve your wrath, even some humility. But I will not bow to your manipulation.”
I feel my forehead crease. “Manipulation?”
“Yes, Caben. You’re confused, and I might be confused, too. Because really, I’m the most inexperienced woman when it comes to matters of the heart. And this is difficult for you, I know, to discern the difference, but you would have never forced this on me before. You won’t control me by using my fears against me. I’ve told you how badly I fear my role as a leader, it’s no secret. I may have even craved some loss of control…but the man I love and trust? He’d have made me feel safe first. Able to let go and know that I’m protected. Not manipulated.”
My hands slide down the wall to grasp her face. Run my thumbs over the silvery wisps circling her skin. “Only someone like you would see this through such a skewed perception.” The power begins to build, and I have to forcibly hold it back. “Why can’t you accept this!” My breaths come faster, my chest expanding with each painful intake of air. Her jasmine scent searing me from the inside out. A groan wrenches from my throat. “So fucking infuriating!”
“Release me, Caben.” She latches on to my wrists and maneuvers out of my hold. Then she reaches behind her head and unclasps the choker. Throwing it the floor, she says, “I will love you to the end…but I won’t indulge in a lie, not even to escape this sadistic reality for a second. I can’t. I want too badly to hold on to what was real between us.”
Her admission should be a comfort, releasing me from the thrall—putting an end to my unyielding desire. But her rejection over my affections ignites my anger anew. I’m not sure if I can rein in my power once it’s fully unleashed, and it’s dangerously close to that.
“You’re giving me no choice,” I hiss, my feet swallowing the short distance between us.
She holds up her hands, just bringing my steady advance short. “You can still fight this, Caben. We can fight this together. Let me try again… Please, can you not trust me? I can help—”
“No!” I grab her shoulders. “This is it, Kal. This is it. Do you understand?” I pull my lip between my teeth, biting down on it to stunt my words. Then, “If I asked you to run me through, would you kill me? Could you take my place?”
Her eyes widen in fear, or relief. I’m not sure which. And I don’t care. Her hesitance betrays her conviction. “You won’t. And all I wanted was for you to accept my love in its rawest form—the only thing I have left to give you. But your thundering righteousness won’t allow you to even grant me that one, last request.” I move closer to her, my fingers gripping her bare arms. “Seems the only logical solution to our conundrum is to depart together.”
I release a high dose of my power into her, and watch her eyes flicker closed. She moans as I ramp the level, just enough for her to physically taste it. It’s the same thing I attempted at the palace, but this time, Bale isn’t mocking me in background. I’m giving Kal just a taste of the freedom she could obtain if she’d just relinquish her stubborn, insufferable ways.
With a tremor in my limbs and the power crackling over my fingers…before I can pull back…I give her the full dose.
“Let me in, Kal,” I say. And now when her eyes open, I see her empathy. Understanding. Her renewed devotion to me, and lust fueling her senses. She’s only partially feeling what I feel for her every waking, bleeding moment. But it’s enough.
And maybe it is yet some of Bale—not totally me—controlling the outcome. That deep pocket of Bale’s own soul that she buried, seeking herself within the girl before me. Trying to reconnect. I don’t know.
But I’m too tried and too weak and just too damn greedy to examine the difference.
Kal’s body relaxes. Her stiff posture slackens into a languid pose against the wall. I scoop her into my arms. Her head lolls back, and I shift her so that it rests on my chest. I walk past the popping fire pit and out of the brightness of the den, and start my climb to the loft.
Which isn’t the easiest thing to do while carrying a limp girl. A week ago or even yesterday, I’d have bounded right to the top, Kal a feather in my arms. But the reality is finally sinking in. It’s all over.
I just need enough strength for my next act and then I’ll let Bale have my wasted carcass.
With difficulty, I reach for the top rung and pull us up to the loft. Exerted, I curse under my breath. Why does she always have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t she just accept the love I was trying to give her? It’s all I have to offer…it’s everything.
But that’s what drew me to her in first place, didn’t it? I remind myself of this as I lie her down on my bed, my muscles straining from the effort to be as gentle as possible.
Then I admire the sight before me. Kal’s black hair spread around her. Her head tilted back, revealing her enticing neck. Her legs parted just enough for me to slide my hand between her thighs…
She opens her eyes, and the green of her irises startles me. It blazes, jewel-like. The mercury beneath her skin illumes like the tail of a comet streaking the sea of her skin. Just under the thin gown, I can see the clear casing of the clamp. The streams of glowing silver flowing around it. She’s such a beautiful sight that it makes my hands clench into fists. My stomach knot. My head ache with the pressure of a million bees attacking my brain. My groin pulses with an irrepressible need.
I bite down on my lip again, taste blood, and turn away from her. I have one window in my loft; a glass wall that overlooks the cove. I go to it now and press my palm against the cool pane. The glass ripples as the dark tint blocks out the sun.
Such deeds are not done in the light.
“Caben?”
I pull myself away from the window and my morbid thoughts, and turn toward Kal’s soft voice. Toward the most inviting vision I’ve ever laid eyes on.
And an unadulterated feeling of disgust sweeps over me.
I clutch my chest and sink to my knees. My heart pounds loud in my ears as it beats against my rib cage with violent lashings. Stripping my cover of existence down to its barest bones.
I’m damned.
My body, mind, soul—I’m thoroughly damned.
Only one morsel of salvation blinks dimly in the sea of darkness.
With the last of my sanity, what clean shred remains, I turn away from her—my light—and leave.
♦ 26 ♦
Kaliope
“WAIT—STOP.” THE WORDS rush out in one breath. Caben halts over the ladder entrance of his loft. The only acknowledgement he heard my soft plea.
I can’t seem to summon the energy to say more, or at least in a solid, audible tone. All energy is focused somewhere else—on the humming, vibrating core within my body. Coaxing me into a liquid puddle on his bed.
Inhaling deeply, I breathe in Caben’s scent. Oleander and pine. It’s so powerful here; where he lays his head, tangles in his covers. It pervades my senses and beckons me to him. But he’s still stalled at the ladder, his focus on something other than me.
That causes me pain.
Pushing myself up onto my elbows, I angle myself better to see him. My head is dizzy and light, and I can’t quite grasp an annoying thought that lingers just out of reach. Something’s…off. But that thought is soon submerged below my conscience when the building desire sparks anew in my belly.
