by Karen Kirst
“Not precisely,” John hedged. “I would say that it merely took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what a treasure I had in Hannah Siddons. I realized shortly after she left that she was the only woman in the world for me. We are going to be married, too, so I daresay we both should be dancing at each other’s wedding.”
“A double wedding.” Jane smiled from the doorway.
Behind her, Hannah stood, her expression shifting from happiness to uncertainty. Likely Jane had decided it was time to come in and Hannah had followed, unsure of whether or not they would be interrupting. He smiled. Even now, his future wife was still trying to guide and shape Jane.
Before another word could be uttered by anyone, Holdcroft rushed over to Jane and seized her in an embrace. John averted his eyes. He was happy about the match, but didn’t precisely care to see an outward display of affection between the pair.
Hannah stepped around the couple and drew close to his side. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer still. “A double wedding?” he murmured under his breath.
Sid nodded, looking up at him with an expression in her eyes that caused his breath to catch in his chest. Would he always feel this astonished by Hannah’s beauty? Likely so. At any rate, he had the rest of his life to find out.
“I’m afraid it’s all been planned out,” Hannah admitted as a mischievous expression crossed her face. “How else was I supposed to keep Jane in the carriage as long as I did? Wedding preparations were the only thing that gave you two any time to work out your differences.”
“Oh, really? Well, I thank you, then.” John laughed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Timothy and Jane break apart, still standing close, but no longer locked in an embrace. “Tell us all the details, then,” he went on, raising his voice.
“Oh, the ceremony will be at Goodwin Hall, in the chapel,” Hannah began.
“I shall wear my new pink ball gown,” Jane put in.
“I will try to convince Lillian Bellamy to make something for me,” Hannah added.
“There will be roses,” Jane continued with a happy sigh. “I shall play my violin.”
“My nephew can be part of the ceremony,” Hannah added. “Molly, too, of course.”
Timothy chuckled, glancing over at John. “It sounds like our lives have been arranged for us. Or at least, the beginning ceremony for our new lives.”
John nodded, taking Hannah by the hand. “As long as I am invited, that’s all that matters.”
He was starting his life anew with the best partner a man could dream of.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
The ceremony was supposed to start in just a short while. John checked his pocket watch and took a deep, steadying breath. The picture of a nervous groom before the wedding was just too much of a formula. He couldn’t very well continue acting like a character in a play. If Hannah trusted and loved him enough to marry him, then all would be well. He mustn’t be so obviously jumpy, for everything was progressing as planned.
For one thing, he had already had his time saying goodbye to Jane. She would live in Tansley, for her soon-to-be husband’s farm was already showing signs of prospering. In fact, all her gowns had been packed away at Grant Park and only a select few work dresses had been prepared for her journey. Jane was taking the role of farmer’s wife seriously and wanted nothing that would seem too grand for her new life. He was actually proud of Jane, putting aside all the frivolous aspects of her existence to pursue what she really loved. She loved Timothy Holdcroft and was prepared to live simply along with him.
So, there was nothing to worry about as far as his sister was concerned. She was marrying a good man who would take care of her. Beside him, Timothy Holdcroft started muttering.
“What’s that?” John turned to behold his future brother-in-law looking very pale indeed.
“Can’t help it,” Timothy gasped. “Nerves, old fellow.”
John clapped him soundly on the back, just as he had done on the day of all the proposals. “Proposal Day” had just the right ring to it. Surely it was one for the annals of Grant Park. “I feel the same way, but we must bolster our confidence with the knowledge that we are marrying two of the loveliest young women in Derbyshire.”
“Oh, I am quite aware of that,” Timothy rejoined. “I am just utterly humbled by the fact that someone as beautiful and fine as Jane can love a poor farmer like myself. I also cannot believe that you consented to the match. My cup runneth over, you see.”
John nodded. The same shocked disbelief surged through him often over the past few weeks. As the banns were read at St. Mary’s in Crich, he had expected Sid to come to her senses and cry off, but she had not. The separation between them, necessary now that she was his betrothed, was difficult to bear. She was too far from him, staying with her sister at Goodwin Hall until the ceremony, and without her by his side he’d felt unbalanced. Soon, she would right him again. After the wedding, they would go home to Grant Park, which needed its mistress. He needed Sid.
Reverend Kirk, the kindly pastor of St. Mary’s, approached, his hand outstretched. “Mr. Reed, Mr. Holdcroft, so good to see both of you on this fine day.”
John accepted the handshake gladly. Reverend Kirk had been a friend to the Siddons family for years, and Daniel and Paul both found him to be a solid, thoughtful member of the clergy. “Thank you, Reverend.”
Reverend Kirk smiled and then turned his attention to Timothy Holdcroft, chatting about local Tansley Village news. John sidled away, eager for a distraction. Not that he didn’t like Reverend Kirk or Timothy, but perhaps, if he wandered around just a bit, he could catch a glimpse of Sid. The more he strained to see past the crowds of people in the small family chapel, the more people poured in. How on earth would they fit everyone under this roof? Already, villagers stood with their backs pressed against the stone walls. Soon, the congregation would spill out onto the lawn.
“It’s no use, old man. Susannah has her bundled out of sight.” Daniel laughed, coming close. “She is a stickler for etiquette. You won’t get a glimpse of your beloved until she is walking down the aisle.”
“I should have known.” John straightened his cravat and tried to give the appearance of being calm. “It’s just been too long, you know. I miss her.”
“I know. I felt the same way on my wedding day, and we were even in the same village.” Daniel waved to a villager passing by. “It’s good that you two were good friends before falling in love. Susannah and I were, too. I longed for her companionship as much as I longed for romance. Once we were married, my life became complete.”
“Exactly so.” John nodded. “I have not felt like myself. I’ve tried to stay busy, working with the dogs and, of course, overseeing things on the estate, but I need her by my side.”
“Well, just a few more minutes and you’ll be done. You two can go home to Grant Park and raise dogs and have children and continue making Grant Park the finest home in Derbyshire.” He smiled, shaking his head. “Our Nan. I can hardly believe it. I still think of her as I did the first day they came to Tansley. All my thoughts were focused on Susannah, of course, but I remember Nan looking like a wise little urchin. She doesn’t miss much, that girl.”
“Nay, she’s as sharp as a knife,” John responded. Daniel still thought of her as a little sister. He still called her Nan. He never knew, never even suspected, the talented, driven, sensitive young woman that Hannah had become.
It was good that they were going away to live at Grant Park. Sometimes, you had to go away to find yourself. He had fled to London for years for that same reason. Coming home, he had learned just how precious his family and his life truly were. Sid had helped him to discover the truth. He owed her nothing less, and would spend the rest of his life making her happy.
A hush descended over the crowd and the local musicians, recruited to make a quartet, began tuning their instruments. “This is your cue,” Daniel announced. He nudged John back to the altar with a none-too-ge
ntle shove.
As Hannah drifted in, flanked by her sisters, and followed by Jane, his nervousness dissipated. This was right. She was here, and all would be well.
*
In the years to come, she might remember the ceremony, but all Hannah was conscious of was John’s presence beside her. How she hated these kinds of formal gatherings! If only they could be married quietly at Grant Park, with her in one of her old work dresses. She glanced down and smoothed her skirt with her gloved hand. She did look remarkably fine, thanks to Lillian Bellamy’s handiwork. In fact, her wedding gown was far prettier than Susannah’s or Becky’s had been, in her own private opinion. In truth, though, she was fairly straining to run away to Grant Park. She had missed John and their home dreadfully.
Then, all at once, John was kissing her and the ceremony had ended. There was laughter and tears and joyful celebrating, and yet she wanted desperately to be done. The wedding breakfast came and went in a blur. Becky, her high-waisted gown hardly concealing her far-advanced pregnancy, burst into tears, quite overcome with the emotion of the day. Susannah ordered people about.
It was a blessed relief when she was able to slip away and change into her traveling costume. She folded her dress and placed it inside her trunk, ready to go home. As she did, the corner of a piece of paper caught her eye. What on earth? She withdrew it, and unfolded the crumpled foolscap.
It was the picture she had drawn of John with Molly tucked inside his coat, when Jane had spied her work and when she herself was in love with John, though she didn’t know it.
She gasped. This was the perfect present for John. She threw her Spencer jacket on and rushed downstairs, the drawing still clutched in her hand.
John was standing at the foot of the landing, talking with Paul and Becky. He smiled as she approached.
“I have your wedding present,” she said with a smile, waving the paper. “Come, I’ll show you.”
John followed her into the library, where she placed the foolscap on one of the nearby tables. “Here. This is for you.” Her heart hammered in her chest. Why was she so nervous? She was becoming as sensitive as Becky. John already knew she liked to draw. Moreover, she really didn’t have anything of value to give him. This was the best she could do.
“Darling Sid, how marvelous.” He swept her into his arms. “You have quite the gift, you know. Anyone who can make me look that handsome deserves accolades.”
She swatted his arm. “You are handsome, as you very well know. I just captured the truth. I drew this one day when I was supposed to be working on Jane’s dresses. It was all quite unconscious. She saw it, though, and I was so embarrassed. I stuffed it into my drawer, and one of the maids must have found it when she packed my trunk to send here to Goodwin Hall.”
“Why are you embarrassed by it?” He squinted, giving it a critical assessment. “It’s a fantastic drawing. You are a fantastic artist, my dear.”
“I was mortified because I was falling in love with you, and had gotten caught mooning over you like a silly schoolgirl.” Her cheeks still burned at the memory, and yet here she was, married to the very man she had developed a tendre for.
He tucked the drawing into his jacket pocket and then embraced her tightly. “I don’t have a special gift for you, Sid. I mean, the house is yours, and Mother’s jewels. All of that sort of thing. But none of that seems right for you. I want to give you something that’s as unique as you are. A necklace, a ring, all fine, but not very Sid-like.” He nuzzled his lips in her hair. “What do you want, my darling? I’ll give you whatever you wish.”
All at once, an idea came upon her. She chuckled. “Do you really want to give me whatever I want?”
“Of course. Tell me.” He drew away from her a little, gazing down into her eyes. “What present do you wish? I’ll bring it from the ends of the earth.”
“My freedom.” She smiled, dreamily. How lovely it would be.
John shook his head, his face draining of all color. “I don’t understand. Do you mean…? Are you saying…? Sid, we’re just married.”
“Not my freedom from you,” she replied quickly. She was making a muddle of this, and it could prove to be rather disastrous if she did not take care. “My freedom from Tansley. Come, let’s elope.”
John smiled, his brows drawing together. “Still not sure I follow what you are saying, Sid, but feeling infinite relief that you aren’t immediately seeking an annulment. So, are you asking for an elopement after the wedding?”
“Well, yes.” She sighed. “I hate all this ceremony, and I miss Grant Park. I want to be away from all of this. I know there’s supposed to be the rest of the wedding breakfast, and all sorts of social obligations, and then, of course, Susannah has organized an informal dance for later. A wedding is a chance for festivities, and we are doing the lot of them today. I just feel like—getting away from this. I missed you and I want to go home.” Admitting this out loud seemed the height of unladylike behavior, but John did prize her directness.
“Sid, I feel the same way. Are you packed?” John smiled down at her, his eyes taking on that intensity that signified he was ready to do something mischievous. “We can leave now. The horses are ready and it will take me but a moment to hitch the carriage up.”
“Yes. Let’s go.” She grabbed his hand and whirled out of the room, but people pressed in on all sides. Mrs. Holdcroft cast a regal smile in their direction, one eyebrow lifted delicately. Hannah nodded and smiled. Then she wound her way through the crowd, still holding John’s hand. She couldn’t move the trunk by herself, as it was far too heavy. Yet the only way they could make it up to her room unseen would involve taking the back staircase, the one the servants used. Somehow, that didn’t seem right, either. Her urgency would not be satisfied until they were long gone from Tansley.
She pressed forward, moving him through the throngs of well-wishers and to the doorway leading to the barn at the rear of the house. Once outside, she breathed deeply. “Is it all right if I leave my trunk here? I know going back to get it will just slow us down, and Susannah might see us.”
“Yes. Let’s leave it.” John looked down at her. “Do you want to say goodbye to your sisters? Shall we leave a note?”
“Let’s have one of the grooms relay the message once we’ve left.” They were so close. “But if you need to say goodbye to Jane—”
“No, I said goodbye to her earlier. I knew she would be busy with the social whirl, and I wanted to say how much I love her when everything was quiet and calm.” He gave her that look of challenge, daring her in the way he had done so many times before. “This is your gift, then? An elopement?”
“Yes. I wish I could have demanded one earlier,” she replied tartly. “But that didn’t seem to go so well for other members of your family.”
He chuckled and grabbed her hand. “Then let’s go.” He pulled her, running, across the lawn and down to the barn.
She helped him hitch the horses up and then climbed onto the seat beside him. A groom wandered in, no doubt thinking that he had been remiss in his duties. A gentleman should never have to hitch his own horses.
“Ah,” John said, beckoning the young lad over. “We are leaving the festivities early. Would you give us about a half hour’s start, then inform the butler? The bride and groom are eloping, you see.”
The groom pushed back the brim of his hat, scratching his head. “Come, now? Not sure I understand, sir.”
“In about a half hour, people may start asking about John Reed and his new bride, Hannah. All we ask is that you tell the butler we’ve gone home to Grant Park. We’ll send for Mrs. Reed’s trunk later.” John reached into his waistcoat pocket and pulled out a gold coin, flipping it to the groom. “We appreciate your help.”
The groom nodded, grinning. “Glad to be of service, sir.”
Hannah watched the lad leave. “Do you really think he’ll give us a half hour?” Her heart hammered in her chest as though they really were eloping. “What if he goes back and t
ells the butler right now?”
“We’ll have to make haste, then. Brace yourself,” he recommended. “I’m not going to spare the whip.”
Dutifully, she caught hold of the railing beside her as he urged the horses into a full gallop. The wind caught at her bonnet and she clamped it down with one hand, unable to keep from smiling. She was going home now. She was free.
As they rounded the corner of the village, a small group of children were playing in the road. The wind caught her bonnet again, but this time, she did not hold on to it. The beautiful confection, crafted by Lillian Bellamy, sailed through the air, landing at the little girls’ feet like a bouquet. One of them snatched it up, jumping up and down, while the other girls clamored for their fair chance at it.
She smiled and waved, turning to watch them until the carriage sped far enough away that she could no longer distinguish their faces. Then she settled back beside her husband, rejoicing in his daring, his closeness and his strength. She may have given him a small trinket in that picture, but in truth, he gave her so much more. Because of him, she was no longer Nan, that wretched, plain, unhappy girl who had reconciled herself to a small life because that’s what others expected for her.
His kindness, his boldness and yes, his brokenness had opened an entirely new world to her. With him, she had dared to try more, to be more and to let go of things that would have terrified her to relinquish just a few months before. She was grateful to him, and she loved him.
She could not wait to begin this new adventure together, as one flesh—that dear old phrase oft repeated in the Bible.
She was her beloved’s, and he was hers.
EPILOGUE
Six months after the elopement
Hannah stood beside Becky and Susannah, their arms interlinked. The autumn breeze ruffling their skirts had an icy edge to it. Winter would be upon them soon. Soon, they would need to bring more hay into the barn, fresh straw for the horses, and the pumps would have to be wrapped to keep from freezing. She must remind John of this when she returned to Grant Park.
