She lived on a ranch, so she knew the basics. But helping a cow give birth was a lot different than helping her sister.
Brynne cried out again, and Cilla could see the muscles rippling across her belly. It wouldn’t be long now.
Where was he?
As if she’d summoned him, the door opened and Leo rushed in. Alone. Cilla left Brynne and hurried over to him.
“Where is the midwife?” she whispered.
He took her arm and pulled her out onto the porch. “She wouldn’t come.”
“What?”
Leo shushed her and glanced into the house where Brynne was wailing, in the grip of yet another contraction.
“She refused to come.”
“But we need her. Brynne needs her. What does she want? More money? I’ll get it. However much she wants.”
Leo shook his head. “It won’t matter. I begged her, bribed her, and when that failed, God forgive me, I even threatened her. Nothing worked. She’s afraid, Cilla. Said anyone associated with the three of you ends up dead and she didn’t want to be next.”
Ice ran through Cilla’s blood. She wasn’t sure which was stronger, her fear for her sister or her fear of what the midwife’s refusal meant to them all.
“She doesn’t believe that we are responsible for all the deaths, does she?”
Leo shook his head. “I don’t think so. But it doesn’t matter. Whether it’s Blood Blade or Frank behind the murders, people close to you are ending up dead. And no one is willing to risk being the next body found in your backyard.”
Carmen came out onto the porch. “Is the midwife coming?”
“No,” Cilla said, her voice hardly more than a whisper.
Carmen swore under her breath. “We’ll just have to bring this baby into the world ourselves. You,” she said to Leo, “get more wood, stack it on the porch. Get Miguel to help you.”
Brynne screamed, and the sound tore right through Cilla’s chest. She ran into the bunkhouse, everything else forgotten for the moment. Carmen was close on her heels.
Brynne writhed on the bed. Lucy sat beside her, clutching her hand, her face a mask of horror and fear.
Leo tried to follow them, but Carmen stopped him.
“There’s nothing more you can do right now, mijo. Go find Miguel.”
She pushed him gently out the door and closed it in his face.
…
Leo stared at the closed door, unsure of what to do. Another scream came from within and Leo reached out to open the door. He didn’t know what he could do to help, but there had to be something. The look on Cilla’s face stuck in his mind, haunting him. She was afraid, unsure. And it wasn’t the nerves he’d caught a glimpse of before a raid or the anxiety she felt for the people she tried to help. It was pure, honest-to-goodness terror for her sister. Leo had never felt so helpless in his life.
He reached out to grasp the doorknob, but Miguel stopped him.
“Come, let’s get some wood like mi esposa asked.”
Leo still hesitated, torn between wanting to go in and wanting to run as far and as fast as he could.
Miguel just smiled and clapped a hand on his back. “Come on, vamos. We’ll only be in the way in there.”
Leo supposed that made sense. And though the thought brought a wheelbarrow filled with guilt, he was relieved that his presence wasn’t required in the birthing chamber. He’d never seen a woman give birth before and judging from the sounds coming out of the bunkhouse, that was probably a good thing.
He sent up a quick, silent prayer for his brother’s wife and soon-to-be born child and followed Miguel.
Leo spent a restless night in Carmen and Miguel’s cottage. Around dawn, he finally gave up trying to sleep and made his way back to the bunkhouse. He sat on the steps and waited for what seemed like an eternity, though when Carmen finally opened the door, the sun hadn’t yet fully risen.
Leo jumped up and Carmen gave him a tired smile. The tightly wound coil of tension in his gut eased a bit at that smile.
“Come in, mijo,” she said.
Leo took off his hat and stepped inside, pausing for a moment to let his eyes adjust to the light. When he could focus, the sight that met him made his heart clench. Cilla sat in the corner near the fireplace, crooning to a tiny bundle in her arms. She looked up at him and her smile was like a ray of sunshine, warming him inside and out.
He looked over at Brynne, who lay sleeping in the bed. Lucy was curled up fast asleep by her side. Brynne was pale, her face nearly as white as the linens she lay under. But her chest rose with a steady rhythm. He sat on a chair next to the bed and reached over to take her hand.
“Is she okay?” he whispered.
Carmen smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “She needs lots of rest and good food. It was difficult for her. But she will be fine.”
Leo nodded, not quite convinced, but he admittedly knew little of such matters.
Cilla stood and came to him, the bundle in her arms squirming a little as she held it out. Leo tried to protest, but Cilla thrust the baby at him before he could say anything. The baby settled into his arms and he froze, afraid of making any movements that might hurt the tiny thing. He’d ever held a baby before.
He drew his finger across the fine down on its head and along its cheek. His heart twisted all over again when the infant opened its little mouth and turned toward his finger as if it were going to suckle it. He tucked his finger into the baby’s grasping hand, in awe of its perfectly formed little fingers.
“Boy or girl?” he asked.
“You have a daughter,” Cilla answered.
Leo’s head jerked up at that. He started to shake his head. This child was his brother’s offspring, not his.
Cilla gave him a smile, though her eyes were filled with pain. And resignation.
“Jake is gone, Leo. Now more than ever, Brynne is going to need a good, strong man at her side. And Coraline needs a father.”
“Brynne named her after my mother?” Leo was touched. And he did feel a strong sense of responsibility for the tiny life in his arms. And for her mother. He would care for them. Protect them, make sure they wanted for nothing. But he could do all that as the baby’s uncle, as Brynne’s brother-in-law. Surely even Brynne would agree. She wouldn’t want to spend her life married to a man she didn’t love, even for the sake of her baby. Would she?
It was clear by the look on Cilla’s face that she seemed to think so.
“Cilla,” he began, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“You are already her husband, Leo. We may have intended for the union to be temporary, but in light of all that’s happened…”
A twinge of panic began to make its way through Leo’s heart. He was going to lose her. She was going to try and do the noble thing yet again and sacrifice her own happiness for what she felt was best for someone else. And he very much doubted she’d listen to any argument against it. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.
“Cilla,” he said, but this time he was interrupted by a tiny squeak from the little one in his arms.
Leo looked down in alarm. Had he hurt her? What was wrong? He looked between Cilla and Carmen in panic. Cilla smiled and Carmen took the baby from him. “She’s just hungry,” she said, chuckling.
He relinquished the baby. Carmen roused Brynne and settled the baby in her arms. Leo quickly stood and headed for the door to give her some privacy while she nursed her child. He grabbed Cilla’s hand and drew her out with him. They needed to talk.
She only half-heartedly resisted, which he took as a bad sign. That probably meant she knew what he wanted to discuss and had already made up her mind that he wouldn’t change hers. Still, he was going to try to get through her thick skull.
Cilla closed the door behind them and rounded on him before he could get a word out.
“I know what you are going to say, but…”
“Then would you please give me the courtesy of allowing me to say it?”
Cilla opened her mouth and then snapped it shut again. “Fine, but not here.”
She stomped off the porch and headed for the barn.
Leo kept right on her heels and the second they were inside, he spoke. “It will always be my highest priority to ensure the safety and well-being of my brother’s wife and child, but seeing to their care does not necessitate me becoming Brynne’s husband.”
“Becoming her husband? You already are her husband, Leo. There is no proof she and Jake were ever married, but there sure as hell is proof you are married to her. We made sure of that.”
Leo wanted to take a step back under her vehemence but held his ground.
“Technically, Brynne and I are married, but it was never supposed to be a permanent arrangement, remember?”
“That was before! Jake is gone, Leo. He’s never coming back. So what’s your plan? Are you going to divorce her now? Walk away from a woman whose husband has just been found murdered, leave her alone to raise her child, all because this wasn’t supposed to be permanent?”
“No! I told you, I will always be around to make sure they are taken care of. But I can do that without being her husband. Surely, she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life with a man she doesn’t love. Have you even asked her what she wants? Or are you too busy dictating everyone else’s lives to bother giving them a choice?”
Cilla took a step closer to him, so fuming mad her cheeks were lit up like a bonfire. Damn, but she was beautiful when she was angry.
“This is about that helpless little baby in there. This is about what is best for her. Do you really think that growing up with a murdered father and an unmarried mother is what is best for her? Do you have any idea what people will say? How they’ll treat her? Even if you were to convince the preacher that your marriage was never consummated after the little scene he witnessed, where does that leave Coraline? If she isn’t your daughter, she’ll be branded a bastard. Do you want her to go through life with that? That is what this is about now. Not about what Brynne or you or I want.”
Leo reached out and cupped Cilla’s face. “What do you want, Cilla?”
She leaned into his hand for just a moment. “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. When she pulled away, her eyes were filled with the same pain that was searing through his chest.
How could he let her go? How could he not? Leo knew she was right. He knew that people could be cruel, knew that his presence would go a long way toward shielding that tiny, fragile little creature he’d held in his arms from the injustices of the world.
But at what cost?
Cilla turned to leave the barn, but he caught her arm and drew her to him. “Just once more, Priscilla. Let me hold you, just once more.”
Cilla hesitated and then moved stiffly into his arms. He wrapped himself about her, trying to bring her in as close as he could. She held herself aloof for a moment, and then sank into his embrace. He wanted to remember every line of her, every sensation. The smell of her hair, the way it felt beneath his cheek. The way her breath hitched as his lips trailed down her forehead, across her jaw line. The velvety softness of her lips as he pressed his own to them.
He drank her in, molding their bodies together. For one brief moment, his world was complete and he finally understood the meaning of pure joy.
And then it was gone.
Cilla pulled away and ran out the door, leaving him standing in the cool morning air, a gaping hole where his heart used to be.
Chapter Sixteen
The next few weeks were a curious mixture of heaven and hell for Cilla. And, she suspected, for most of the people in the house. She and Leo avoided each other whenever possible. They spoke to each other only when it was necessary and they had managed to avoid eye contact altogether. Though Lucy and Carmen noticed that things had changed between them, both kept it to themselves, for now. And Brynne was completely absorbed by her baby.
Coraline was the bright light for everyone. She was small, but she was a feisty wee thing. The cries that began as tiny mouse squeaks grew in volume as her little lungs grew in strength.
Not that she cried much. She was a good baby, protesting only when she was hungry or needed changing. She was rarely set down, often nestled in the arms of Cilla or Lucy or most often, cuddled next to her mama.
On occasion, Leo would hold her, though he preferred to leave the baby coddling to the women. Every now and then, though, Cilla would catch him cradling the baby. And every time, it would hurt a bit more. To see him gently rocking the tiny infant in his strong arms was one of the sweetest, most touching, and most heartbreaking things Cilla had ever witnessed. She felt like the world’s worst aunt for begrudging little Coraline even a fraction of Leo’s love, but every time she saw him with the child it only served to remind her that he would never cradle their child against his chest. Would never murmur off-key lullabies when he thought no one was listening in their home.
The first time she’d handed the baby to him and felt the unfamiliar pang, it had taken her a moment to realize what she was feeling. It had never occurred to her that she might want a home and family of her own. A husband and children of her own. A family had never seemed to be more than another burden, more people to love—possibly to lose. More loved ones to protect from Frank. She’d shied from the subject any time it had been broached. She’d made up her mind long ago. She never wanted to marry and had certainly never wanted children.
Yet when she watched Leo with little Coraline, she couldn’t help but feel a crushing sense of loss. The dream she never knew she wanted was already lost to her. The small spark of whatever it was that they’d had between them had been extinguished. She’d lost him for good.
Not that he had been hers to lose.
Maynard snorted, bringing Cilla’s attention back to what she was supposed to be doing. She tried to shake off her melancholy and turned back to brushing him, running the stiff brush across his coat as her thoughts ran rampant in her head.
“I was fine until he came along. I never wanted any of this. Didn’t want the whole marriage and children thing. Certainly never wanted him,” she whispered to Maynard. “So why is my heart breaking for something I never even wanted? That was never mine to lose? How do I make the hurting stop?”
The horse huffed and tossed his head. Cilla smiled. “You don’t have any idea, do you?” She rubbed Maynard’s head, buried her face in his mane. “If you figure it out, let me know, will ya?”
Maynard snorted again and Cilla gave him a pat before heading off to finish the rest of her chores. Though there weren’t enough chores in the world to chase the thoughts from her churning mind.
She drove the hoe into the ground with extra gusto. She knew that the situation with Leo was only part of the reason for her mood of late. She was getting antsy. They hadn’t heard from Frank in weeks. He’d made a brief appearance after Jake’s funeral, and he’d “questioned” everyone at the ranch, though everyone knew it was a farce.
He was up to something. Cilla just wasn’t sure what. If he was trying to frame them for the murder of Jake, and the Hudner family, and Bobby, then why wasn’t he arresting them? It seemed a lot of trouble to go through just to alienate the sisters from the townspeople. Surely there were easier ways to get that accomplished. And if he had planned on arresting the sisters for guilt by association, he would have done so by now. Frankly, he had plenty of reason to do so. It looked bad even to Cilla and she knew they’d done nothing wrong.
So what was his game?
The uncertainty was driving Cilla mad. They had also decided not to run anymore raids for a while. With Frank up to no good, and with Brynne still recovering from Coraline’s birth, the sisters had agreed it would be better to lay low. And Cilla hated to admit it, even to herself, but she wasn’t sure the townspeople would want or accept Blood Blade’s help anymore. Frank had managed to accomplish at least one thing with all his murders.
The midwife wasn’t the only one afraid to be seen with the sisters. Most other
s in town felt the same way, and they didn’t want any association with Blood Blade either.
For the first time, Cilla felt a qualm of unease at the thought of going into town, but they needed some supplies. And she had never been one to back down from anything that made her nervous. She had no intention, however, of letting Lucy go with her. She knew she was being overcautious, but better that than be sorry. Miguel would accompany her instead.
As it turned out, Lucy didn’t even ask to go. She was so enamored of little Coraline, she would spend her spare moments playing with the little one than going into town.
As Cilla and Miguel were readying their horses, Leo came out to the barn. He didn’t say a word to Cilla but grabbed a saddle and went to his horse.
“I’ll be fine with Miguel,” Cilla said, watching him from the corner of her eye. It was the first thing she’d said to him in almost a week. Her heart constricted just being in the same space with him. She didn’t think she could handle the twenty-minute ride into town with him riding beside her.
“I’m not letting you ride into a hostile town without me. Especially with Frank planning God knows what.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ve got Miguel.”
“And now you’ve got me.” He finished saddling his horse and mounted.
“Leo…”
He pinned her with his gaze. Cilla fought down the rush of butterflies that hit her belly at the first eye contact they’d made in over a week.
“You’re not going without me,” he said, his jaw set.
Despite her best intentions, Cilla felt her traitorous heart skip a few beats as he stared her down. She knew there was no arguing with him, and truth be told, she’d be glad to have him at her back if things went bad. But he didn’t need to know that.
“Fine,” she muttered, turning to mount her own horse.
“Let’s just get what we need and get out.”
“Agreed.”
“If Señor Leo is going into town with you, then I should stay behind and keep an eye on things here,” Miguel said.
Blood Blade Sisters Series (Entangled Scandalous) Page 15
