by Nora Ash
“What did you need the money for?”
I bit my lip, thinking back to when the doctor had first told me that there was nothing more they could do for my mother. That she was going to slip further and further away from me until she was nothing but a shell of the woman she’d once been. “My mum has Alzheimer's. There is a private nursing home up in Highgate that specializes in the care of people with dementia and Alzheimer’s, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t face the thought that I couldn’t get her the best care possible. She’s always looked after me, and since my dad left, it’s always been her and me against the world. I couldn’t live with myself if I let her down when she needed me the most. But the bank wouldn’t lend me any money—apparently, being a waitress doesn’t inspire great financial trust. So I found Brigs.” I glanced up at him. “That’s what I spent the money that was missing from what I stole from you on, too. I paid one of the nurses to look after her for me, since I thought I’d have to flee the country.”
The expression on Marcus’ face was as gentle as I’d ever seen it. It made me falter, my voice dying as his gray eyes connected with mine. “Anything for the Family. It’s the Steel motto, but you put us all to shame, Evelyn. You’ve risked everything to take care of your mother. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you strong.”
“I don’t feel strong,” I admitted, my voice quavering a little as I took in the admiration in his gaze. It felt undeserved, and yet everything inside of me hungered for more the longer our eyes connected. I looked down to our hands again. “I’ve been scared for what feels like years. It feels like the only thing that’s kept me going is that I’m more scared of not doing right by my mum than I am of what I’ve seen and done.”
Marcus’ hand constricted slightly around mine, and when he spoke this time, there was a hint of steel in his voice. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. I’m here now—and I will take care of both you and your mother. I promise.”
* * * *
Chapter 18
Evelyn
Marcus didn’t join me in bed that night, and when I woke up the next morning, I was still alone.
Somewhat odd behavior, really, for a guy who proclaimed to want to impregnate me. If I’d ever been open to the idea of having his baby, it had been after he told me he would take care of not only me, but also my mother. Something about the sincerity in his eyes resonated with that same aspect of myself that had been so drawn to him from the very first time we met, and I had allowed myself to imagine just what it’d be like to be a happy little family unit.
But Marcus hadn’t followed me to bed, and in the clarity of daylight, I was pretty thankful I hadn’t indulged in a round of unprotected sex. As much as he might mean it right now, no one could say how long that would last—and I didn’t need to add a baby to my problems once he and I inevitably went our separate ways.
Even if it had felt good to believe for just a few moments.
I got out of bed, ruthlessly pushing down any lingering emotions inspired by our candid talk last night, and trotted to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
I found Marcus at the dining table with a bowl of half-eaten yogurt pushed to the side and his focus solely on the laptop in front of him.
“Morning,” I offered as I passed by on my way to the fridge.
He only grunted in return, but when I joined him at the table a few minutes later with my freshly toasted cream-cheese bagel, he finally lifted his eyes from the screen.
There were a hint of dark circles under his eyes, and I wondered if he had even slept at all last night.
“Did you not make it to bed?” I asked before sinking my teeth into the bagel. “Did one of your brothers get in touch with a plan? Or is it about Brigs?”
“No.” He closed the laptop and looked at me with an expression I couldn’t quite decipher. “When you’ve finished your breakfast, I’d like us to go visit your mother.”
I coughed, choking on my mouthful of food. “Why?”
“I thought you might like to see her.”
“Of course I would, but I…” I hadn’t thought I would ever get to again. An odd mix of relief, excitement, and worry circulated in my chest, making it feel tight. “I don’t want Brigs to know about her. Does he know where you live? Is there a chance he’d have us followed?”
Marcus shrugged. “If he does, it won’t help him any. I’ve sent men up to guard her nursing home—the building will be protected at all times.”
I blinked, repeatedly, as warmth and confusion spread through my body. “I… how do you know which nursing home she’s at?”
“There’s only one nursing home in Highgate that specializes in dementia and Alzheimer’s.” He said it matter-of-factly, as if stationing criminal guards around a nursing home was a perfectly normal thing to do.
“Oh.” I stared at him for several long moments while my brain slowly processed the one burning question his revelation left me with. “Why are you doing this?”
“My father might have forgotten what our motto used to be, but I haven’t. She is your family, and that makes her mine. I told you—I will protect both of you. At any cost.”
* * *
Susie wasn’t on the front desk when Marcus and I passed through the reception, but the nurse there recognized me and let us through with a courteous nod—and a wary look at Marcus’ large figure.
“Stay behind me, okay?” I said to him as we paused outside my mother’s door. “She gets confused easily, and… well, you’re kind of scary. So please don’t take offense if I ask you to wait outside, okay?”
Marcus gave a short nod, seemingly not too offended by that, nor by being called scary. I offered him a smile as thanks and knocked once on the door before opening it.
“Mum? It’s me. Evelyn. I brought a visitor. Is that okay?”
She was sitting by the window as she usually did, but turned toward the door at the sound of my voice. My heart gave a spasm of joy when a smile of recognition spread across her face.
“Evelyn. I didn’t expect to see you today, my love. It isn’t Tuesday, is it?”
“No, it’s not, Mum.” I walked over and hugged her tightly, breathing in her scent in greedy gulps. Her lucid days were getting fewer and farther between, and I was overwhelmed with a sudden rush of gratitude toward Marcus for bringing me here today. “I just missed you and wanted to stop by and say hi.”
“Don’t you be missing out on your life to come check up on me, child,” she said, giving my shoulders a squeeze with surprising strength. “The nurses here take excellent care of me.”
“I’m not missing out on anything.” Reluctantly, I let go of her when she pulled back, but her focus shifted behind me and her eyebrows crept up.
“And who is this young man you’ve brought along to meet your old mother?” Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “The future father of my grandchildren, perhaps?”
“Mum!” I protested, already sensing the heat gathering in my cheeks. “You can’t just harass any guy you see for grandchildren.”
“I am Marcus Steel, Mrs. Embry,” Marcus said, his rumbling voice carrying easily across the room, though it sounded softer than usual. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Evelyn speaks of you very fondly.”
“She’s a good girl,” my mum agreed, completely ignoring my flustered presence. “Come here, young man. Let me get a better look at you.”
He obeyed, and even knelt down next to her chair when she motioned for him to do so.
Without shame, my mother placed both her hands on each side of his face. “And such a handsome one, too. Do you treat my little girl right? If she’s brought you to see me, she must be very keen on you. Do you feel the same about her?”
“Mum!” I hissed, my cheeks now in full flame. I’d forgotten how completely straightforward she could be.
Marcus put his hands over my mum’s, engulfing them completely. “I will take care of Evelyn until the day I die.”
The corners of my mum’s eyes crinkled when sh
e gave him a sweet smile. “Good. It’s hard for her to trust—she never did get over her dad leaving, the poor child. But I think you might just be the man to change that, won’t you?”
His face, normally so serious and dark, became light and gentle when his mouth pulled up to reciprocate her smile. “Yes.”
My mum finally released his face and turned to the window again. “Come sit with me. I would like to get to know my future son-in-law.”
I stood back and watched. It was as if I looking through a kaleidoscope into an alternate dimension, where my mother and the man who had taken me in discussed the birds outside my mum’s window, recipes for raspberry jam, and the importance of a strong father figure when it came to child rearing as if they had known each other for years. All the while completely ignoring me.
It was an odd sensation, looking at the only two people in my life who had ever taken care of me and knowing that this perfect slice of life would never truly be mine. That it was a fleeting moment in time showcasing what might have been, if life had turned out differently.
And yet, even as my heart clenched with longing for what I could never have, I was still infinitely grateful that I had been given this one moment where everything was just perfect. It was more than I’d thought I could hope for since I had to give up everything to work for Brigs.
When it was time to leave, my mum pulled Marcus into a hug before she turned to me for the first time since greeting me. “Come say goodbye, Evelyn.”
I walked over and into her arms, closing my eyes to soak in the warmth when she closed them around me. It felt as good as it had when I was a kid.
“You marry that man, love,” she said softly into my ear. “He has a good heart, behind all that pain he’s carrying. He will take care of you when I’m gone.”
“You’re not going anywhere, Mum,” I choked into her hair. “Not now, not ever.”
“Shh, child. I know my mind is slipping away, and it’s going to do you no good to pretend like it isn’t. Someday soon it will be completely gone, and when that happens, I want you to be with someone who will treasure you and make you as happy as you’ve made me since the day I gave birth to you. He loves you, it’s plain to see the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not watching. And if you are brave enough to open yourself up to him, I think you’ll find love in your heart for him, too. I know you, my daughter. Don’t let fear stand in the way of your own happiness.”
“It’s not that simple,” I whispered, doing my best to stem the tears that prickled my eyes. “We’re not together that way. There are… reasons.”
“There are always reasons, Evelyn.” She pulled back from our embrace and cupped my face for a short moment, brushing away the single tear that had escaped my attempt at holding my emotions back. “And it’s never simple. I can tell he’s not an uncomplicated man, he has pain and darkness. But if he is as devoted to you as I believe, you let him in and don’t ever let go. Don’t throw away your chance at happiness because your father was an idiot.”
“I’ve missed you, Mum,” I said, reaching out to squeeze her hand one last time before I straightened up.
She smiled that gentle smile of hers that had brought me through every painful moment after my dad left. “I love you, Evelyn. Always. Now, go—you have a good man waiting for you, love. And I will be here again next week.”
But she wouldn’t. We both knew that—it had been over a month since the last time she had been even remotely this clear-headed. I bent to kiss her cheek, managing to keep myself together for her sake. Crying would only make her feel bad, and that was the last thing I wanted on one of her fleetingly few good days.
“I love you too, Mum. See you next week.”
Marcus was waiting for me outside the door, having given us some privacy to say goodbye. He didn’t say anything when he saw me brush a few stray tears away, but he put his arm around my shoulders as we walked down the hallway toward the nursing home’s exit. His warmth and the strength of his body against mine felt good—it steeled me against the onslaught of emotion warring in my own body, keeping me up like a life jacket in a tumultuous sea.
“She is a lovely woman,” he said when we exited the building and paused in front of the visitors’ parking lot where he’d parked his Porsche.
“Yeah. She’s everything to me.” I offered him a weak smile. “She was very fond of you.”
“And I her.” He touched a hand to my chin, lifting my gaze to his. The fondness in his gray eyes made my heart flutter in response. “I see where you get your kindness from.”
I scoffed. “I am nothing like her. She is so sweet and so generous—she could never hurt anyone, would never let a man like Brigs ruin her sense of right and wrong.”
“I think you might be surprised what she would do to keep the ones she loves safe. Just like you did for her—just like I will for you both.” And then he dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine.
The kiss was gentle, and yet it made my heart hammer behind my ribs and my breath whoosh out in small gasps when he broke it off much too soon.
I stared up at him, my mother’s words replaying in my mind as I saw the gentleness in his gaze as he looked at me.
Was there any way we could make this work? He was still part of a crime family, still everything I’d promised myself I would stay far, far away from the moment I was free from Brigs. His world was danger and darkness at every turn.
And if I let myself fall for the promise of love—of baring my soul to him and having his in return—and he then ended up pushing me away… I wouldn’t survive it. This time, my mother wouldn’t be there to pick up the pieces, and I knew that if I opened my heart to Marcus and he left me I would never be whole again.
But was I truly whole now? When everything in me yearned for that sweet pull between us and all I wanted was to give in?
“Can we go for a short walk? Before we drive back?” I asked, finally making a decision. It made my stomach churn with anxiety, but also elation.
“If you wish,” he said. Once again he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and once again the sensation of security set in.
I saw him nodding at a man standing discreetly off to the side of the entrance to the nursing home and was momentarily distracted from my nervousness. “Is that one of the guards you talked about?” I asked, keeping my voice low so as not to attract attention.
Marcus nodded as he led me across the street toward a small park we’d passed on the way here.
“Thank you,” I said as we walked the couple of blocks along the quiet road. “For making sure she is safe. And for taking me here today. She doesn’t have many good days anymore.”
“I am glad you let me meet her,” he said. “I wish I could have introduced you to my mother, as well. I think you would have liked her.”
“Would she have liked me?” I asked, suddenly feeling weirdly nervous if I would have been what his mother wanted for him.
“Yes,” he said, and I could hear a rare smile in his voice even without looking up at him to confirm. “She would have liked you very much.”
“And your brothers? You think they… approve?” I thought back to the surprise in all three men’s faces when Marcus had declared me his fiancée, and frowned when I thought about the twins’ comments about the probability of him abducting a bride.
He shrugged. “I think so. If not, they will.”
“You just know that, huh?”
“Yes.” He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t want to push. Instead I focused on the cool winter air and the smell of soil as we entered the park through the wrought iron gates. Marcus released my shoulders and instead offered his arm, and I rested my hand on it as we slowly strolled along the path.
It was a typical English winter, cold but not freezing, and the ground was wet from last night’s rain. As the bushes and trees closed around us, I could almost ignore the sounds of cars coming from the street outside the park—could almost pretend like it was just me and Marcus in all the
world.
“Marcus, I… was wondering…” Here goes nothing. “If we… if we did end up together, how would it work? With your dad and your job and… I don’t want to be involved with the mafia, and that’s your life. Your family.”
He glanced down at me, but the sky was starting to darken and I couldn’t make out the expression in his eyes. “You won’t be involved. Mira isn’t.”
“That’s not how it works for me,” I said softly. “I’ll know what you do every day when you leave. I’ll know that you hurt people. That you kill. I… I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. I don’t want any more violence in my life, or fear that someone like Brigs might try to hurt us because of what you do.”
“What do you want?” he asked.
I sighed. “Peace. I’ve done so many horrible things while working for Brigs. I just want peace. I want to plant my own veggie patch and sell produce at farmer’s markets and make raspberry jam with you. To wake up in the morning and not wonder if my husband has killed someone while I slept, and how long their family will mourn.” It wasn’t until I stopped talking I realized I’d said I wanted it—with him.
Marcus stopped on the path, and I stopped with him, looking up at him and knowing that I was hoping for the impossible. He was a mafia son, he was born into the violence I was so desperate to escape. But then his hand brushed away a stray lock of hair that had stuck to my cheek, and a reflection of the city lights finally let me see his eyes. There was as much tenderness in them as there was in his touch, and my heart fluttered with renewed hope.
“Evelyn—”
His voice cut out as a dark-clad figure stepped out from behind the bushes just a few yards further down the path, and even before I’d fully realized what was going on, Marcus let out a furious roar and leapt forward, pushing me behind him.
A deafening gunshot rang through the air and Marcus’ forward momentum came to an abrupt halt. He dropped to the ground on his knees with a low groan, clutching at his side. And I screamed.
The man still holding a gun slowly turned from Marcus, his outstretched arm now pointing at me.
