by Loren
“Who taught you that?”
“One of the Peace Corps volunteers I worked with.”
“She taught you well,” Gene said stopping in front of the guest room door to kiss Granny Deb on each cheek. “Love you, Grandma. See you soon?”
Granny Deb hugged her tight. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
Gene walked in to hug Grandpa John and kissed his cheek. “Stay cool, Grandpa.”
He smiled and took off his glasses. “I haven’t been cool since Hendrix was in concert.”
She shook her head and closed their bedroom door. She hoped sleep came swiftly for her. She didn’t want to think about the horror story that was her life.
But sleep had not been kind. It hadn’t come at all, and at 3 a.m. she found herself tiptoeing downstairs, unable to sleep and restless from thoughts of Liam. She felt around in the darkness for the kettle to make a cup of tea. She moved with assurance, knowing her kitchen well enough to have the cup, tea bag, honey, and a spoon ready on the counter as the kettle heated. The light flicked on, startling her to turn around.
“Jesus, Granny Deb. You scared the crap out of me,” Gene said, clutching her chest. “I didn’t hear you.” Her grandma could stalk a cat when she wanted to. That’s how quiet she was.
“I didn’t mean to,” she said, pulling a chair from the table. “I heard you come down and I wanted some tea too.”
Gene nodded and moved to grab another mug and tea bag.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Gene asked over her shoulder.
“Nope. You?”
“Same. Tea always helps,” Gene said, leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed.
“Got any idea why you can’t sleep? I struggle to get to bed if I’m too excited or I can’t stop thinking about something.”
“Probably just my shop. That flood really put me out.”
“Really. I would have thought it was something else.”
“Like what?” Gene said, falling for the trap she should have seen coming.
“Like something to do with that cutie who was on your doorstep,” she said with mischief in her eyes.
Gene laughed more from shock than humor. “No, Grandma. I’m not thinking about him.”
“You could have fooled me.”
Gene frowned. It wouldn’t help if she tried to argue.
The kettle whistled loudly, and Gene busied herself making her cup. Two spoonfuls of honey and one of lemon juice, adding some water from the sink to hers to cool it down.
“Just honey for me,” Granny Deb said watching her.
Gene heeded the instruction and brought the cups, one steaming and one normal to the table.
“I don’t know how you can drink it that hot,” she said, watching the steam rise from Granny Deb’s cup.
“Tea was made for sipping,” Granny Deb said as if that was all the explanation needed.
Gene wanted to keep all her taste buds so she sipped her cooler draught. The warmth softened her tension and soothed her hurt. She drank looking at nothing in particular as Granny Deb sipped her tea watching her.
Suddenly Granny Deb started giggling out of nowhere. “You are just like your mother sometimes. So stubborn,” she said wistfully.
Gene struggled to remain slack-faced. She didn’t want to be similar to her mom at all. It was a shame she got her looks instead of Granny Debs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, which only made Granny Deb laugh harder.
“Just tell me. I know you want to talk about it.”
“I really don’t,” Gene said, taking a too big gulp of her tea.
Granny Deb still looked amused as she took another small sip of her tea. “Whatever you say.” She shrugged delicately. “You have until I finish this cup. Then I’m going to bed.”
Gene shrugged, pretending she didn’t care but she was acutely aware of the diminishing liquid in Granny Deb’s cup. She gulped her own tea and waited in silence, willing herself to stay strong. She didn’t want to talk about it. Granny Deb didn’t know what she was talking about. Gene glanced at the cup again and got up to grab some crackers. “Want some?”
“Nope. Just the tea,” Granny Deb said, taking another sip. She was almost finished.
Gene ate a cracker, hating the loud crunching disturbing the calm silence of the night. A light outside the window caught her eye, and she focused, realizing it was Liam’s back porch light. She wondered if he always left it on or maybe he’d forgotten about it.
Granny Deb took a gulp, her tea now no longer piping hot. Gene felt a flare of panic as the older woman tipped her cup back, clearly nearing the end of her beverage.
“Okay, fine,” Gene said, running her hands through her hair. “Liam is my next-door neighbor, and I fell in love with him then he broke my heart.” It all came out in a rushed, jumbled spiel and when she finished, Granny Deb placed her empty cup on the table with a tiny smile.
“My dear Genevieve, was that so hard? You have to learn to trust a little more.”
Gene blew a puff of air, moving strands of hair around her face. “How do you know I don’t trust him?” she said defensively “You don’t even know what he did.”
“And neither do you, dear.”
“How do you know?” she scowled, and Granny Deb only smiled wider.
“Why else would he be on your porch begging you to listen?” Granny Deb looked at her with kind eyes that showed the clear wisdom of the years she’d been on this earth. “I may have overheard some things and I could see on his face you weren’t the only one hurting.”
Gene huffed. “I don’t have to listen. I know what I saw. I’ve seen enough to know what betrayal and lying look like.”
Granny Deb sighed and reached over to grasp Gene’s hand. “Every man is not your ex-husband.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Gene said through gritted teeth. Her frustration felt like a heavy blanket, and still, Granny Deb tightened her grip on her hand even though Gene tried to pull away.
“Maybe because you still haven’t listened.”
Gene didn’t know what to say so she said nothing.
“I have been married to your grandpa for twenty-five years, and it’s not because he’s always been perfect. It’s because he’s always put in the effort. Arnold was a jackass.” Gene gasped, and Granny Deb snickered. “That much I know for certain is true. I’ve always thought so.”
Granny Deb shrugged. “You win some, you lose some. Anybody with eyes could see you were head-over-heels in love with the boy and what could any of us tell you? You were young and so determined to be successful. So yes, we let you marry the man, and I had faith you would see the light. You did, albeit after much darkness. I’m sorry you had to go through that but I wouldn’t change a single thing. You grew from that. Look at you now. You are stronger, smarter, and better without that leech of a man. The only thing still holding you prisoner is this fear. I don’t know a lot about this situation, but I know a man on your porch begging to be heard is not a man who’s unwilling to put in the effort. Mark my words, he’ll be back. And when he comes, I think you should listen. At the very least you’ll feel better knowing you gave him the chance to get it right. Your heart will heal faster that way.”
Gene was stunned silence and Granny Deb didn’t wait for her to think of a response.
She stood and put her mug in the sink before leaning to kiss Gene on the cheek. “This old lady is going to bed, but think about what I said. What does it cost you to be this afraid and angry? If Arnold is no longer around to bear the brunt of it, who is it hurting more?”
A small smile was the last thing Gene saw as Granny Deb walked out the room. Her ears were keen to pick up noise, but she didn’t hear Granny Deb climb the steps or close her bedroom door. The lady could be a ninja when she wanted.
16
Granny Deb had insisted she didn’t need assistance and would take an Uber to the port. She and Grandpa John texted around the time Gene got up to go to work to sa
y they were safely on the boat and the fish were biting. When Liam showed up at the garage, Gene wasn’t surprised. Granny Deb was always right. But she hadn’t thought Granny Deb’s prophesy would come true that soon. Gene hadn’t even considered what she might say yet. She sighed, seeing how pitiful he looked standing in front of her.
“Liam,” she said with a raised eyebrow.
“Just let me explain.”
“I think you’ve said enough. Your wife, separated wife, something like that,” Gene said shrugging at the semantics since it was all the same to her, “showed up over some paperwork and your stuff. Right? What else did I miss?”
He looked terrible, like he hadn’t slept in weeks though she knew it had been only one night. The stubble on his chin made him look like a badass rebel, and she wondered what the stubble would feel like against her thighs. She cleared her throat, banishing the thought from her mind.
“There’s more to it than that.”
She decided to take Granny Deb’s advice. “Okay,” she said, interlocking her hands on top of the desk. “I’ll bite. Go ahead.”
He paced back and forth a moment in silence. “I don’t know where to begin.”
“How about the beginning,” she said, more calmly than she felt.
He nodded once. “I met Laura when I was a big shot in LA. I had just been hired as CEO. I thought I had everything—everything but a family. Money can’t really replace that. She changed me. Turned me from playboy to prince, overnight it seemed like. It really was a fairytale. We got married after only knowing each other for six months. But when you know, you know, right? So, I married her and built her the perfect home with everything she wanted from the ground up. It was huge, a testament to our love. Or so I thought. Months later, she said she wanted children.”
He smiled a wistful look. “‘Babies to fill every room,’ she said, and I told her sure because I would have given her the world. If I could have roped the moon for her, I would have. We tried. But nothing happened. Months went by and nothing. We visited doctors to see what was wrong but they said everything looked normal, we should keep trying, so we did. And just when we thought it wouldn’t happen, it did,” he whispered in a reverent tone. “I had a son, and he was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen on earth.”
The love in his voice touched a wound Gene thought was healed and gone. She so desperately wanted to know what that felt like...the love of a child, a love she had never known.
“We named him Adam. The first of many—” he frowned, “—or so we thought.” He wrung his hands and slowed his pacing until he fell into the chair in front of her desk. He stared at a spot behind Gene, someplace she couldn’t see as he continued. “Adam was the perfect baby. He rarely cried and always slept through the night. He smiled early for his age,” he said, his lips turning up into a sad smile. “He smiled at everyone, and he had the cutest little laugh. I could see him being the best big brother.”
“So, what changed?” Gene said, and he jumped, snapping out of whatever trance he was in.
“He hit his head.” His voice was monotone and detached as if it was someone else speaking. “We thought it was nothing. You know? Kids hit their heads all the time. Right?” He sounded as if he was still convincing himself and to see him so broken, still obviously in pain, hurt Gene to watch. “We held him and put an ice pack on it, and after he cried a little bit, he calmed down. There was barely a bump.”
He stared at his hands in his lap, withdrawn and looked up with tears in his eyes. “You think a bump on the head is just a bump on the head, right? Who would think something is floating around on the inside of his brain waiting to kill him? But I should have known. I’m his—I was his father. I should have known but I didn’t, and he died.” He took a deep breath like just saying the words were a punch to the gut. “Everything inside me died with him,” he concluded in a hushed voice.
Gene understood. Something in her had died. She hadn’t had her child, and she felt like she should have known something was wrong too, but she didn’t. But understanding how he felt didn’t make it easier for her to overlook the fact that he lied. She should have known this wouldn’t work. Why had she thought it would?
She had thought they had something, but that’s what she got for thinking. She didn’t mean a thing to him. He had multiple opportunities to say something, and he didn’t take any of those opportunities. He begged her to share about her pain. Her talking about her miscarriages would have been the perfect opportunity but he let it go unsaid. What else was unsaid between them?
“I want you to leave,” she said as she walked to the door.
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you,” he said, looking apprehensive.
“Easy,” she said opening it. “The same way you just told me now except without the waiting for your wife to pop in for a visit.”
“Don’t do this,” he said, refusing to step through the door. “Please, Gene. Don’t. Let’s talk about this. We can get through this.”
She shook her head not letting anything he said get to her. “I want you to leave,” she repeated, dead and monotone.
She should have seen this coming. When would she ever learn?
“Gene,” he said, starting like there was something he could say to excuse his behavior. As if there was anything he could say to fix this. There was nothing to fix. He was a hypocrite. After everything he asked her to give him, he hadn’t trusted her enough to give himself.
Her face must have said it all. He stopped talking and with his head hung he walked out of the door and she started to close it behind him.
For good.
“Don’t say my name,” she said. “Just leave.”
He held his hand out, stopping the door from fully closing. “I don’t want to leave,” he said, raising his voice for the first time.
“Are you deaf?” a voice said from the other side of the door, clearly interrupting. Liam took a step to the side so she could see who it was, and Gene sighed. She preferred to keep business and pleasure separate. Any combination of the two was messy.
“She asked you to leave. What are you still standing there for?” Rick said, his face contorted in anger. “Do I need to help you out?” He stepped forward with his hands balled up.
“Rick, please. I don’t need any help,” Gene said, suddenly tired.
“Really, Gene? You don’t need any help. You seem to have an unwanted visitor that refuses to leave.”
“And if I do that’s my business!” she said frustrated. “Get back to the garage. If I need help, I’ll call.”
Rick sucked his teeth and stormed off. She could have sworn he called her a bitch under his breath. She didn’t have time to coddle feelings.
Liam looked devastated, breathing hard for a second before running his hands through his hair.
“Gene, all I want to do is talk.”
“We already did,” she said, rubbing her temples. “There’s nothing between us Liam. Everything we had was built on a lie.”
“It wasn’t!” Her teeth cut into her bottom lip, a distraction to prevent her from crying. “You told me you loved me.”
“That was before. Things have changed. I can’t trust those feelings were real.”
“They were,” he said.
“I can’t believe what you say anymore.”
“Then I’ll show you,” he said, finally walking out.
Gene felt like she could fall over at any moment.
“Thomas,” Gene yelled, knowing he couldn’t be too far away, especially considering the appearance of his friend Rick.
“Yeah, Gene,” he said, appearing at her side and following her as she walked to her desk.
“Get me a bottle of water and then close my door. Unless this place is burning down, I don’t want to be bothered for the day. Okay?”
“You got it, boss,” he said and thankfully after he brought her water she was graced with blessed silence and left with only her thoughts.
17
&
nbsp; It started to drizzle as Gene drove home and was in full downpour as she parked in her driveway. She sat in her car watching the rain obscure the view of her house. The drops chased each other down her windshield, and she grimaced at the darkness of her home. No one was home.
She sighed and reached to her back seat for her umbrella. She couldn’t remember the last place she put it and seeing it wasn’t anywhere in the backseat, she concluded it was in the trunk. She frowned and turned back around.
Deciding to bite the bullet she ran to her front door, getting wet and struggling to get her key in the door. Gene watched the lights flicker as she undressed and once she was in her night clothes she turned off the light in case of another blackout. On her way to the kitchen, she saw candles being lit in Liam’s home and she cursed herself for looking, alone with the disappointment she felt that he wouldn’t be coming over again. Not that she would let him in if he knocked. Her heart still ached, and she was certain she wouldn’t be letting Liam in again. Thankfully, he didn’t come over to test her resolve.
The next morning, she sat at her desk, sniffing with a mug of tea. She was fighting a cold and struggling to stay upright in the coming bankruptcy she was still doing her best to avoid. The phone rang. “Lady Parts, how can I help you?”
“Gene Stewart, please,” a man said.
“This is she.”
“Gene? Jesus, you sound like shit. You sick?”
She recognized the voice. “Eddy? What are you doing on my line?” she said to her friend and attorney.
“Hopefully delivering good news,” he said, and she sighed.
“I could use it. Go ahead.”
“He’s going to sell them.”
“What?”
“Arnold. His lawyer called me this morning. He’s going to sell them. The stocks, Gene. Get your pocketbook ready, girl. It’s going to all work out.”
