She wanted to believe him. To believe she had loving parents that only gave her up because they had no alternative.
But the part where she was from an enemy clan… the original enemies of the Svoda… this was a much harder reality to swallow.
#
The days that followed were much the same. Juliska and Fazendiin working together during the day, and him telling her stories about her parents, or the clan in which she was from. The history he told, and the history she had learned, did not align. From her experience, no one group ever had the story quite right, and she guessed in this case, it had to meet somewhere in the middle.
Just what was truth or not, still had yet to be proven to her.
At the end of her first week with Fazendiin, she plunked down onto her bed, exhausted. Her mind a heap of thought. She closed her eyes, ready for sleep. Which had been intermittently good and bad all week. A moment later she started laughing. She wasn’t sure why, but something was funny.
She had the strangest feeling come over her. Déjà vu maybe?
There was a scene playing over and over in her mind, of a woman with long dark hair and a beautiful pale face and wide smile, tucking her into bed while telling her a story. The story was funny and had made her laugh.
Juliska sat up, her breath caught.
Was this a memory?
It didn’t disappear, it stayed with her. And more came with it.
A tall, thin man… he came in and kissed her goodnight. Her father? She didn’t recognize their faces, and yet she could see bits of herself in each of them.
What was happening?
Where was this coming from?
Was she getting her memories back? Or was this some sort of trick?
It stopped after this. Nothing new or more. Just this one long scene replaying over and over in her mind. How would she even know if this was a real memory? She had no idea what her parents looked like.
Deep sleep avoided her all that night.
At breakfast the next morning, Fazendiin noticed she was flustered. He set down his fork and looked at her.
“You’re starting to remember, aren’t you?”
Her head shot up and she stared back at him.
“It’s about time. I had hoped having you work in the gardens this week would help your mind relax enough to let the memories surface.”
“You’re responsible for what I saw last night,” it was a statement not a question.
“No. They are your memories. The moment you arrived here I lifted the spell. I want you to have your memories back. But I had to make sure the return would be paced. To have them return all at once would be too much for one brain, even as intelligent as yours, to handle. It’s the reason you slept the first few days you were here. It was the only way.”
“How do I know what I’m seeing is even real? That it’s not just a trick?”
“You trust no one, do you?”
“No. I learned that lesson a long time ago.”
“Excuse me for a moment. I’ll be right back.” He got up and left the table.
Did she mean what she’d just said, that she trusted no one? Her mother, she trusted her mother. And Eddy… she’d trusted him enough to give him her heart. That had to stand for something.
Fazendiin returned with a box in his hands and handed it to her.
“What is this?”
“Gifts, from your parents. Left in my care until the time was right for you to see them. It will give you the proof you need.” He reached in and pulled out a photo album, turning the pages until he’d found the one he wanted. He handed it to her.
Juliska lost her ability to breathe for a moment. It was them. The two faces from her memory last night. With a little girl standing between them… it was her, there was no doubt. She was maybe seven or so.
“Whatever you remembered last night, it is real, Juliska. Trust what you remember, it’s more real than anything else you’ve lived since your memories were taken.”
She wanted to trust they were real. And they had to be, right? These pictures, they were of the people in her mind.
But the Grosvenor are cunning… do not trust this man in front of you.
But this seems too real.
I don’t think magic can fake this.
But that doesn’t make it safe. They may be true memories. And what he’s telling you may be true… just don’t believe for a moment there is zero price to be paid for all this.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, Juliska, but I imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed. Take a few days to look through the box. Let the memories come back to you. Once you see it all for yourself, then you’ll know all I’ve told you is true.”
“And then what? Say all you’ve told me is true, and I believe you. Then what?”
He just grinned widely as if she already did believe him.
Juliska had no idea how to feel about that.
#
The following weeks were filled with memories returning. Many new ones each day. Fazendiin did not make her work in the gardens or anywhere else. He wanted her to take her time and remember all she’d lost. Even at the pace of a few here and few there, it was overwhelming. Her brain was overloaded and a bit lacking in space for all the new memories that needed to fit somewhere.
The one constant in all her memories… her parents adored her. Doted on her. And thought they’d be around much longer. They hadn’t expected age to catch up to them so suddenly. They’d lived almost two hundred years. Is that how long she’d live as a vampyre? What a strange thought.
Her parents had moved around a lot. And trained her never to use magic outside of their home. Told her never to trust anyone, and never tell anyone their secret. Ever.
Maybe even though her memories had been stripped from her, some of the residue remained behind. She’d never trusted anyone, maybe this is why.
And the time leading up to her parent’s deaths was exactly like Fazendiin has explained it to her. All he’d told her matched with the memories she was getting back. As her first month with him came to a close, all she could think was, what now?
She didn’t actually belong with the Svoda, but they were her family. They had raised her as one of their own and were good people.
But if they ever found out who she really was…
And Eddy… Juliska very much still wanted to spend her life with him.
The question she did not dare speak aloud: how would Eddy react to this revelation? Would he still accept her for all she was? And what if she did live to be two hundred? She’d lose Eddy long before then. She’d lose her life with the Svoda too. If she stopped aging she’d only be able to hide it for so long.
And what about her mother? Or Banon Havelock? Or PanSofia, her mentor.
Her gut told her yes, they’d accept her, but little seeds of doubt popped into her thoughts. What if they didn’t? What would become of her? Would she be damned to live her life alone until her vampyre side finally gave out and she died?
She wanted so desperately to go home.
And today, it was the last place she could go.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Month Two…
Juliska awoke in an agitated state of mind.
She was allowing herself to get too comfortable here at Fazendiin’s estate.
This was a mistake. Letting her guard down and getting too cozy in a place she didn’t want to be was a mistake. Period.
True, she might need to be here right now, but she didn’t have to enjoy it. Or get acclimated.
“Okay, just remember this. I’m here and I can accept that, but don’t get too comfy. And just because I am descended from the same clan as him, we’re not really family. I don’t owe him anything…” Her breath caught.
Why had she just said that?
Where had that idea come from?
She realized this is what had kept her from sleeping well the previous night. This feeling welling up inside her. All the emotions from getting back he
r memories… a sense of owing Fazendiin for helping her parents, regardless of his reasons for doing so.
She did not like to owe anyone. For anything.
Since she wasn’t sleeping she got up and dressed, deciding to go out for a walk. It was peaceful here. With no one to bother her. Or ask her for help or to see something for them. She could walk anywhere she wanted without getting hassled. She never realized that this had stifled her daily routine before this last month. She never realized how imprisoned she felt on the island until being away. Regardless, it was not enough to keep her away from her home. It only made her realize she needed to make some changes, if she ever got to go home.
“Oh, good morning, Miss.”
Juliska looked up to see the caretaker. “Hello, Basil.” She’d come to like the old man. He was kind and had a pleasant smile whenever he greeted her. “Kind of hard to believe the crispness in the air this morning.”
“Sign of the season. Summer is winding down.”
“Yes, I guess it is.”
He turned a bucket over and motioned for her to join him. She took a seat.
“Thanks. What are you working on this morning?”
“Oh the usual, bit of weeding and harvesting. And at the moment, much more importantly, coffee…” he turned around and grabbed a thermos. “Cup?”
“Sure.”
He poured her a cup and it warmed her chilled fingers.
“Basil, if you don’t mind my asking, how long have you worked here? Or lived here, or…” she bit her lip in apology if she was being too personal.
He laughed. “For you my dear, I’ll answer anything.” He shot her a wink.
“It’s just… this place, you don’t seem to fit here. Or maybe you do…”
“Feeling a little confused?” he asked her.
“My views of the world feel a little skewed at the moment.”
He nodded. “To answer your question, I’ve been in the service of the Master here for over fifty years now.”
“Oh, that long?”
“Yes. And I would not change a thing. He gave me a new outlook on life at a time when I was ready to give up. Keeping up this place gives my life meaning. And I respect the man for the way he lives.”
“Are the other Grosvenor like him?”
Basil sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.
“Yes, and no. They have similar ways of thinking and common goals, but to my knowledge the Master here is the only one living like this. Embracing life. Embracing the future.”
“So he really sees all of this,” she waved her arms about, almost spilling her coffee, “as part of his future.”
“Protecting his future. Nourishing it.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“I’ll be perfectly content to spend the rest of my days here. Honestly, I don’t know what the Master will do once I’m gone.”
“He’s not lazy, I’ll give him that,” said Juliska.
“No. Something else I respect immensely.” He grinned kindly at her. “I know this all must be very trying on you. Being yanked out of your life, shown everything about your past… his intentions are good.”
Juliska eyed Basil with a humored leer.
“He gets things done, he’s not so concerned about being tactful about it.”
“I’ve heard that one before…” Juliska got up and handed him his mug back. “Thanks, Basil. Have a good day.”
He nodded and continued with his work.
Juliska continued her meandering. Basil had not helped her skewed thoughts become any clearer. If anything, he’d made them even more confusing. He was such a kind man, and thought highly of her captor.
She was struggling with considering him this now. Her parents had asked all this of him and he was obeying their wishes. It was hard to feel anger toward that. But she was not free to go home, so this still made him her captor.
After another hour of wandering outside, she landed back inside and went to her room. There was a package sitting her on bed. It seemed odd, seeing as it could only be from one man. Why bother wrapping it and giving it to her like this?
There was a letter with it.
Juliska,
Your mother asked me to find a copy of this book for you. Come see me later and I’ll tell you more.
J. F.
She picked up the book and unwrapped the covering.
“The Firemancer’s Pocket Guide.”
She flipped through the pages, befuddled by all the spells she’d never heard of. Could she really do all this as a Firemancer? She’d only been taught to see, and to defend herself if the need arose. Which apparently, with her current living conditions, she did poorly. In school, she’d learned basic magic, like all other students, but she’d never excelled at it.
Her mentor, PanSofia, had told her she possibly never would being that her gift took precedence. It was where her true talents would be found. But her mentor had never once taught her anything like what she was seeing in this book. Perhaps she did not know any of these spells. PanSofia was not a Firemancer after all. She was a Watermancer, and used the element of water for her visions, not fire. So maybe her knowledge was limited in regards to Firemancy.
Juliska did not know any other Firemancers. She’d never even thought to question if there was more she could learn. She spent the day reading each page until she’d reached the end. There was so much she didn’t know. So much she was suddenly eager to learn.
On the last page, an envelope slipped out, falling on the floor. It had been stuffed into the back of the book. Juliska leaned over to pick it up. It was blank on the outside so she opened it.
There was a letter inside.
To my daughter…
Juliska stopped reading and held her breath. Her birth mother had written this before she died. She closed her eyes almost afraid to read it. She imagined a thousand times, finding something like this. Some lost thing that would tell her something, anything about her past.
She’d always insisted she didn’t care.
But now that she had this letter in her hands she was scared, and eager.
What would it say?
What words of wisdom would her mother pass along?
She opened her eyes and started again.
To my daughter…
If you’re reading this, then you survived, and are now old enough to understand.
I am sorry this is the manner in which you had to live your life. Your father and I wanted the best for you, so we did what we thought was right.
I hope it turned out that way.
I hope you are happy. And safe. And loved.
I’m sorry I will not be there to help you grow up. And will not be there to see you get married, or have a family. But our hearts are always with you.
I was not a Firemancer. Your host may have told you this already. The gift skipped me, and your grandmother. Your great grandmother, also named Juliska, and who you were named after, was the last Firemancer in the family. I knew shortly before I died that you would be too. I had little time to prepare, and left it in the hands of your gracious host to locate this book and asked that he assist in your training. If, when you arrived back in his care, you had not so been trained.
I will leave this life knowing I have done everything within my power to give you the life we could not, and giving you all the knowledge to help you survive.
Your father and I love you so very much.
She couldn’t read anymore.
A wet droplet hit the letter, threatening to smudge it. Juliska wiped it off before it could do any damage. Tears fell down her face, she couldn’t help it. All the memories and now this… it was like hearing her mother’s voice and seeing her face as she read it. Like she was here in the room with her, even now.
More than anything, it made everything she’d discovered since she’d been taken, real. It was all true. Any doubt she’d had, vanished. Her parents really had set all this up for her. Even though Fazendiin was family, from the s
ame clan, they had asked she grow up with the Svoda, around magic. And he’d graciously obliged their request and took it upon himself to fulfill their wishes on her behalf.
Could it be he wasn’t the monster she’d always believed?
He’d done some bad things.
So had the Svoda.
Neither side was perfect.
She wiped her eyes, cleaned herself up and headed downstairs for dinner. She was suddenly famished and realized she hadn’t eaten since early that morning. She entered the kitchen to see Fazendiin cleaning his dish.
“Ah, good. You got my gift.”
“Yes. Um, thank you.”
“I shouldn’t call it my gift. Your mother wanted you to have it. It took me a few years to track down a copy.”
“Still. You did, so thank you for doing that.”
“Dinner’s still warm on the stove.”
She grabbed a bowl and a chunk of bread and ate heartily.
“We will start tomorrow,” Fazendiin told her bluntly.
She didn’t need to ask what he meant. “Good. I want to learn everything. There’s so much I don’t know.”
“Not for long.” He grinned, leaning back in his chair.
If she’d looked up from her bowl, she’d have seen the gloat in his eyes. The satisfaction in his smile. All which claimed…
She’s predictable.
Eager and willing.
Making her own choice… feeling a modicum of control and freedom.
Everything that will make Juliska Blackwell, mine…
CHAPTER TWELVE
Month Three…
Weeks later, after a long day of learning spells from her new book, Juliska fell onto her bed, exhausted, exhilarated and nervous. Tomorrow, Fazendiin wanted to move forward and teach her a few things not in the book. Using her powers to duel… him. He’d told her if she could master her powers and fight against him, and win, she’d earn a prize.
Forsaken (The Seer's Apprentice, The Pearl Dragon, and The Devoted Ghost) (A Fated Fantasy Quest Adventure Book 8) Page 13
