by ST Bende
“Hey man, I didn’t mean anything by it.” He whipped his head back and forth looking for a way out. Ull grabbed him by the collar and lifted him off the ground with one arm. I’d never seen anyone do that in real life. The boy dangled helplessly mid-air. He winced, anticipating the blow.
Ull leaned down to hiss into his ear. “I know exactly what you meant.”
“C’mon man, she wanted it.” Wrong thing to say. Ull’s eyes blazed and his arm started to shake. “Can’t. Breathe.” The boy choked on the words. Ull’s mouth twisted into a half smile and suddenly he and the boy were gone. They literally vanished into thin air. One minute they’d been standing two feet from me, and the next -- poof. They were nowhere to be seen.
“Ull?” I pivoted a full circle. He wasn’t there.
“Did you see that?” I turned to the couple next to me but they shook their heads. Had I imagined the whole thing? Was I even crazier than usual?
“Kristia,” I heard Ull’s voice before I saw him. He was coming through the back door. He crossed to me and pulled me into a hug. “Thank goodness you are all right. That cretin will not bother you again.”
Okay, what was going on?
“Where did you go?” My question was muffled by Ull’s chest. He was holding me really tight.
“I took the jerk outside, gave him a stern talking to.”
“Right,” I tried to pull away, but Ull was too strong. “Let go, Ull.” He did, reluctantly. “I mean where did you go? You just disappeared like some magic trick.”
“I walked outside, Kristia.” Ull shook his head.
“No you didn’t. You had that guy by the neck and then he said I wanted it and you just --” I twirled my finger. “Poof. Gone.”
“It has been a long night. Wait here,” Ull commanded, and while I didn’t appreciate taking orders, I didn’t think to disobey. He had a brief talk with the barman, no doubt making sure the perps couldn’t cause any more harm, and came back with our coats on his arm. I didn’t ask how he had known which jacket was mine.
“Come Kristia, I am taking you home.” He strode across the dance floor, still shaking, as I hastily told my roommates I would meet them at our flat. Outside, it was so cold the trout must have been tap dancing, and Ull’s long legs took strides so big I had to run to keep up. He stopped under a streetlight and his breath came out in small puffs. His body was tense, but his eyes were so soft, the grey-blue of the sky after a storm. I both adored and hated him all at once.
“Are you all right, Kristia?” he asked with genuine concern.
“I’m fine, thanks. How did you …” My sentence trailed off.
He drew another ragged breath. “Right place, right time, I guess,” he said halfheartedly. He obviously wasn’t telling the whole truth. I scanned his face and he shrugged.
“That’s not what I mean. Are you going to tell me about that whole disappearing act in the club?” Or explain how he and his stepdad had the same names as the gods I’d taken a quiz on this week?
“Not tonight.”
“Then goodnight, Ull.”
“Wait.,” Hhe seemed at a loss. “I suppose we should talk.”
“I don’t know if I want to talk to you. You didn’t call me, remember?” I sounded a lot more bitter than I meant to.
“Right. That. You deserve an explanation.” Ull had the grace to look ashamed, but it only fueled my anger.
“For what? Making out with me in the middle of a castle -- no, two castles -- and just leaving me hanging? For lying to me about having ‘the most enjoyable evening you have ever had’ and then not bothering to call when you said you would?” My exaggeration of his soft accent was terrible.
But I was building steam. “It’s been two weeks and I’ve heard nothing from you. Nothing! I actually believed you when you said Nice Ull was the real you. Was that some kind of a joke? Because clearly, you’re the same jerk who spent a week giving me nasty looks for absolutely no reason.”
“I would hardly say I am a jerk, Kristia.”
“Really? Then what would you call making out with someone all night and then dropping off the face of the earth? You made me feel this big.” I pinched my fingers together and held them just under his nose. “And where do you get off acting like that? What kind of scumbag just drops the cow once he gets a taste of the milk? Huh?”
“Would you be the cow in that scenario?”
“Don’t mess with me right now, buddy,” I threatened. “I called you. Because that’s what nice people do when the person they like goes missing. They pick up the phone and call. I thought something awful had happened to you. I was so stupid! Was this whole thing just some ploy to see how far you could get with me?” The corner of Ull’s mouth turned up in a smirk. It infuriated me. “Oh, so this is funny to you?” I winced a little at the shrillness in my voice. It wasn’t dignified, but he had it coming.
“Nobody here has ever spoken to me like this.” Now the smirk was a full-fledged smile.
“Well somebody needs to. You think because you’re so superior, you can just parade around and do whatever you want? Do the rest of us even matter to you?” I was shaking, my hands balled into tight fists.
“Are you finished?”
“Hardly,” I muttered, glaring into Ull’s endless blue, traitor eyes.
“I did just save you,” Ull reminded me.
“I had things under control.” My voice was testy.
“Oh, did you?”
“I was getting there.”
“Right. Well, while you were getting there, I took care of the problem. The least you can do is let me explain.” I thought about what I’d be doing right now if Ull hadn’t come along in the nightclub. Guilt stepped lightly on Anger’s toes.
“You know what Ull?” I sighed, too exhausted to fight anymore. “I’ve had a long night. I just want to go home.”
“Do you want to hear my explanation?”
“Do you think it’ll make any difference?”
“Maybe.”
I shook my head. “Maybe’s not good enough.” I turned and walked towards campus.
“Where do you think you are going, Kristia?”
“I told you. Home.” Heavy footsteps followed me.
“This conversation is not over,.” Ull sounded strained.
“Yes, it is. I get it. You weren’t that into me. You’re lousy at dumping girls. Case closed.”
“Kristia,” Ull grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop. “Please. It is not what you think.”
I pulled my hand back and folded my arms. “It doesn’t matter, Ull. I just want to go home.” As I started my brisk walk, Ull matched my pace.
“Fine. You may go home.”
“Gee, thanks.” Could he be any more arrogant?
“But this conversation is not over,” He marched confidently beside me.
“Where exactly do you think you’re going?”
“With you.”
“You are not coming home with me.” I didn’t care how good he looked in that coat, I was a woman of substance.
“I am making sure you get home safely, whether you like it or not. We can talk tomorrow.” The smugness in his voice got under my skin.
“I seriously doubt that,” I muttered, picking up my pace in an effort to get away from him. At that moment, Ull was the last person I wanted to be around.
****
“Uh, Kristia.,” Emma’s voice trilled through my bedroom door at an ungodly hour for a Sunday morning. “You have to get out here.”
Reluctantly, I grabbed my favorite slippers and tied my ballet sweater around the thin camisole I’d worn to bed. Shuffling towards the hall, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. “This better be good, Em.”
“Oh, it is,” Victoria grinned from the couch where she sipped at a cup of coffee. She gestured to an enormous bouquet on the table. White roses filled the room with their heady scent, and hydrangeas and foxgloves filled out the arrangement. “They’re for you,” Victoria finished.
“W
ho…” But my insides churned when I opened the card. ‘I am sorry. Call me. Ull.’ I crumpled the card and chucked it into the trash bin. Letting out a sound that would have earned Mormor’s disapproval, I stomped back to my room. If Ull thought some stupid flowers would make me fall all over him, he had another thing coming.
“Wait! Who are they from?” Emma pleaded.
“Who do you think?” I could almost hear Victoria roll her eyes as I slammed my door. Ull was getting on my last nerve.
****
By the time my next Mythology class rolled around, I’d successfully avoided five of Ull’s calls and one personal appearance at my flat, no thanks to the lousy acting skills of sweet Emma, who was highly unconvincing in declaring I wasn’t home. I slipped into class at the last possible minute, but Ull was still waiting inside the door.
“Kristia,” he greeted me with his impossibly arrogant grin.
“Ull,” I acknowledged before making a beeline for the front row. He wouldn’t be able to bother me under the professor’s nose.
“Kristia,” Ull sighed. “We can do this all year. I have nothing but time.” He took the seat next to me as I focused on setting up my computer. “But trust me, you want to hear what I have to say.”
“I highly doubt that,” I muttered with all the civility I could manage. Use me once, shame on you. I wasn’t interested in going down that road again. Thankfully, Professor Carnicke chose that moment to launch into her lecture, and for ninety blissful minutes, decorum required Ull’s silence. As soon as she closed her book, I jumped up, stuffing my laptop into my bag and tripping over my feet in my rush to leave the room.
“Careful, Miss Tostenson,” of course Ull was right there to catch me. I snatched my arm away.
“Listen,” I countered angrily. “You aren’t into me. I get it. Stop following me around! Just let me be.”
“You do not mean that.”
“I really do! It’s embarrassing enough to have to see you every day, the last thing I want to do is listen to why you don’t want to go out with me again. You don’t owe me anything. Honest. Please, just leave me alone.”
“Kristia, it really is not like that.”
“I don’t care what it’s like. I have to go.” I raced out of the classroom and didn’t stop until I reached the Student Houses. I threw myself onto the couch and dropped my head into my hands. No wonder I’d always stayed away from guys. My life suddenly felt way too complicated.
****
“Uh, Kristia?” Victoria knocked on my door the next evening.
“Come in.,” I raised my head from the literature text I was studying. Molière was always good for a laugh. “What’s going on?”
“Well, I don’t mean to bother you, but I just tried to leave the flat and I was stopped by these.,” Sshe held up a handful of white orchids. “And there are heaps more where they came from.” Her glee was poorly disguised.
“You think this is funny, don’t you?”
“You have to admit, most girls would be over the moon if Ull Myhr was sending them flowers.”
“Stalking them, more like it.”
“Whatever.,” Victoria shrugged. “I brought the rest into the living room. I’m not one to tell you what to do--” I snorted at her blatant lie. “In matters of the heart,” Victoria continued indignantly. “But if the lad is that determined to talk to you, I’d wager he has something pretty important to say.”
I rolled my eyes and made my way down the hall. “What the…” Every surface of the living area was covered in vases of white flowers. The scent was simultaneously heavenly and cloying. I picked my way through the arrangements until I found the biggest one. I opened the attached card with a resigned groan.
‘Kristia,’ it read. ‘Please hear me out. I left because my life is complicated, and I do not know if it is fair to involve you. I want to tell you everything, but if you really want nothing more to do with me, tell me in class tomorrow and I will leave you alone. Ull.’
Oh, crimeney. What was I supposed to do now?
****
The next morning, I hovered outside the classroom with two minutes to spare, still unsure. On the one hand, he’d dropped me once. I wasn’t so stupid as to head blindly down that path again, and he was giving me an out -- say the word and he’d leave me alone for good. On the other hand, I really had enjoyed our dates. And no guy had ever worked so hard to win my attention.
Heck, until recently, no guy had ever brought me flowers -- and here Ull was spending the gross national debt on white blooms. A small part of me still held onto the hope that Ull might be the first guy ever who liked me just for me. While a bigger part of me was screaming ‘don’t be a fool! Run!’
I shook my head. I had no idea what I was going to do.
I kept my head high as I walked into the room. A quick scan revealed Ull in the third row, seeming relaxed as he leaned back in his seat. But a closer look showed he was gripping his pen and his shoulders were squared. He was waiting for me. And he was nervous. I made up my mind, easing my way into his row and carefully sitting two seats away. Ull turned with a tight smile, cocking his head to one side.
“What does this mean?”
“It means I’m still mad you didn’t call. And it means I still don’t trust you. But I’m willing to hear you out.” I kept my hands balled in my lap. “And thank you for the flowers.”
Ull’s face lit up. “I am so glad.,” Hhe exhaled and the tension visibly left his shoulders. “I will pick you up at eight o’clock tonight. We can talk then.”
“Tonight? What’s wrong with now?”
Ull tilted his head towards the podium where Professor Carnicke was opening her book. “Would not want to be rude, would we?” He gave me an infuriating wink and turned his attention to the lecture.
****
At eight o’clock, a firm knock interrupted my reading. I picked my way through the flower shop that our living room had become and opened the door.
“Oh good, you kept my peace offerings.” Ull treated me to a rakish grin.
“Just a few of them,” I muttered. “Come on in.”
“Oh, no. You must come with me.”
“Why?” I challenged. Ull sighed.
“Are you going to fight me at every turn?”
“Probably.”
“Please come.” He looked so adorable standing on my stoop, his scarf casually thrown across the grey sweater under his coat. I gave in quicker than I meant to.
“Fine.” I grabbed my coat from the closet by the door and shoved my keys and wallet into the pocket. “Where are we off to?” I closed the door behind me and followed Ull into the brisk night, waiting for his promised explanation.
But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he put his hand on the small of my back and guided me away from campus. I shivered and noticed that Ull wore his jacket open, at ease in the chill. As we rounded the corner, Ull dropped his hand to clasp mine. It was so warm, so strong, and for a moment I forgot to be mad at him. We walked in silence as he led me down the main road. After two right turns, I found myself standing in a quiet garden. Ull had brought me to a church.
Chapter Eight
The Norse Church
“HAVE YOU BEEN HERE before?” Ull’s voice was soft. I looked around the courtyard, covered in flowers, with vines trailing up the sides of the charming chapel.
“No,” I answered. The square was beautiful, but I’d been promised answers.
“I come here a lot. Sometimes I just walk the garden.” Ull sat on a stone bench, somehow even more beautiful in the moonlight. An eternity passed before he started talking.
“This is a Norse Seaman’s Church,” Ull spoke quietly. “It wasn’t built until the mid-twentieth century, but it blends with the town’s older buildings.” I wrapped my arms around my chest. I wasn’t in the mood for another history lesson.
“It’s very peaceful.” It was all I could think of to say.
“Yes,” he said calmly. We stared at the bounty of ivo
ry roses growing in the eastern corner of the garden, and the ivy stretching up the white walls of the chapel. “When I am here I can forget…” His body tensed, his brow furrowed, and his eyes grew dark. I sighed -- Angry Ull.
“Uh, you lost me.” But no clarification was forthcoming. I was uncomfortable waiting. It wasn’t exactly evening stroll weather.
“So are you going to give me this alleged explanation or not? Taking me to a church doesn’t exactly cut it.” I glanced impatiently at Ull’s tense frame. I didn’t know what to make of him. I waited for a response but he kept looking at the sky.
“Seriously Ull? You dragged me out here in the cold for nothing? That’s it -- I’m done.” I turned to walk away. This was the worst fairytale ending ever.
“Kristia.,” Hhe hung his head, staring at his hands. I stopped but didn’t turn. “Please come sit with me.”
“Why?”
“Please.”
Curious and desperate for his companionship, I sat. I shivered as a gust of wind blew through the garden. I pulled my coat tighter around me. Ull took off his scarf and wrapped it around my neck. The gesture would have been sweet two weeks ago.
“I owe you an explanation.”
“We already established that.”
“Kristia, let me talk!” He looked up with pleading eyes. They bored into mine, as if he could see through my pretense and right into my broken heart. He took a deep breath, his broad shoulders rising and falling with effort. He unclasped his hands, then clasped them again until his knuckles turned white. “Kristia, I had a very nice time on our dates. Those days with you were the best I have had in--” He stared at the ground. “In a long time.”
