by CJ Warrant
Squeezing Markus’s hand, I whispered, “Let’s stay. Please, for me. For a little bit more.”
“I don’t want you to be around this bullshit—the same crap he pulled when we were kids. It’s disrespectful and I’m not going to sit here and listen to it anymore. I won’t have it.”
I leaned in close, so only he could hear me. “Markus. What your father said didn’t affect me in any way. I know myself and I’m proud of who I am. But the reason why we’re here, is for you. For your mother’s funeral. He is your father and I’ll do whatever you want, but…for your mother’s sake, let’s try to stay civil, eat our breakfast and ignore the…trash your father spews. Okay?” I leaned in even closer to absorb his heat, smiled, trying to coax a smile out of him.
Instead of a smile, Markus leaned in and gave me a kiss that knocked my proverbial socks off. Right in front of his family. Right in front of his father, which made me blush from embarrassment.
He pulled back, eyes twinkled with mischief. “Charlie, are you sure?”
“You are bad. And yes, let’s stay for a little bit,” I countered and pinched his stomach.
He snagged my hand and raised it to his lips. “Okay. But I just have to say, you’re wonderful—and you owe me,” he said with a wink.
“Then as the wonderful person that I am, I guess I’ll have to show you how much.” I winked back.
Markus led me back to the table and we finished our meal without another word from his father.
Chapter Fifteen
Markus
“Markus, can I have a word with you in the den before you go?” Bryce asked as he placed his plate on the counter and waited for my answer.
I knew this conversation was inevitable. “Sure.” I leaned over and kissed Charlie and then got up from the table and followed my brother to the den. The room was on the other end of the house, which should lend some privacy but I wasn’t sure what Bryce had on his mind.
I entered first, with Bryce closing the door behind him. The room—our father’s domain—was made up totally different from the rest of the house. Markus Sr. made sure his wife had no say in here. Done in a cowboy motif, any time I spotted anything in that Western style it reminded me of him.
The large antique mahogany desk situated in the middle of the room wasn’t as imposing to me as when I was a late teen being reprimanded. The floor to ceiling dark wood shelves adjacent to it was filled with law books I was forbidden to touch until I needed them for my law studies. The two dark burnished leather chairs that flanked the desk on each side smelled of cherries and smoke from the cigars my father lit up every time he won a case. The whole room was my father’s domain, and no place for his children or his wife.
Without a word, Bryce walked to the small bar at the far end of the room and poured two fingers of Glenlivet into two glasses. And as Bryce took one seat, he handed over one of the glasses to me. I took it and sat down as the silence circled up like waiting buzzards overhead.
We each took a small swig of the amber liquid before I broke the silence. “Why are we in here, Bryce?” I asked, taking another sip for a bit of courage to hear what my twin had to say.
“I know it’s been nearly two years since you left. And I know I should have reached out to you sooner, but I needed more time,” Bryce admitted with a released breath.
“What for?” I asked. “There’s no reason for it? We said all we could during the firm’s Christmas party two years ago. I fucked up. Plain and simple, bro.”
“Bro,” Bryce chuckled, but sobered immediately. “I know, Markus.”
Bryce’s words made me pause, my glass drawn just shy of my lips. “What do you know?”
“I know you didn’t sleep with Brittany. I still think you fucked up and betrayed me, but not to the point of what I assumed in the beginning.” Bryce’s admission was a punch to my gut. Uncertainty coursed through my body as I glanced over at my brother.
“How did you find out?”
“Brittany.” Bryce smirked and continued. “She called to apologize for Mom’s death and to let me know that you didn’t actually fuck her—and yes, she used those exact words.”
“Classy,” I huffed out.
“Well, I was blind,” he admitted with a sardonic smile. “Though she had a great ass.”
I let out a hoot of laughter and so did he, which felt pretty damn awesome since I was sharing this awkward moment with my brother.
“Brittany admitted that she took total advantage of you because she knew you were so messed up. Drunk off your ass. Her words again.”
“Now you know. But that still doesn’t justify that I was messing around with her. She was your fiancé,” I admitted, with that familiar hint of shame running in my blood.
“It’s done. Brittany is out of my life. Beth came in when I needed her the most. And it’s all because of you, bro,” Bryce said, leaning forward and gripping my arm. “We’re brothers—twins, and I missed you. Missed us. Come home.”
A large ball of guilt, sorrow, and happiness lodged in my throat. “I missed you too.” We stood and he pulled me in for a hug. “I missed you too.”
“Hey, what’s going on here?”
I looked up and spotted Beth and Charlie in the doorway. Bryce pulled away and walked over to his fiancé. In that moment, Charlie, nearly in tears, was the most perfect person I could be lucky enough to know. I reached out a hand, calling her over.
There was no hesitation. Charlie careened into my arms and hugged me so tight that my ribs hurt. There was no doubt in my mind that bringing her here was the best decision I had ever made. Every second I was in her presence my life was more perfect. Right.
Although, the question in the back of my head was, what was I going to do when I had to drive her home? I wasn’t ready to face that point yet. I just wanted to enjoy what I had now. Then after the funeral, we’d figure out the next step.
Chapter Sixteen
Charlie
I stood in the bathroom of the hotel, applying a soft muted color to my lips. Thank goodness I packed a black dress and flats. One didn’t wear anything else to a funeral, especially to your boyfriend’s mom’s funeral. My Nana used to say, “It’s better to wear simple black to a funeral so you won’t outshine the deceased.” I never understood what Nana meant, but I never questioned it.
My boyfriend. That sounded nice. Yet, was Markus my boyfriend?
“Are you ready?” Markus called out from behind the closed door, pulling me out of my musings.
“Just one second,” I called out as I pinched my cheeks and smoothed down my dress. I opened the door and gasped. I could have pooled into a puddle of goo the second my eyes locked onto Markus.
He stood there, dressed in a black suit, hair slicked back and his face shaved like he walked off the cover of GQ magazine. So handsome and totally hot in bed. I’m a lucky girl.
“What do you think?” Markus did a turn.
I had to find my composure before I jumped the man. “I think your mother would be proud.”
Markus’s eyes went wide with a wetness edging lower lashes. “Okay. I wasn’t expecting that answer.”
“Well, someone has to keep you on your toes. Are you ready?” I asked with a smirk.
It took a moment before Markus answered, “Yes. Let’s get going. Bryce and Beth are outside, waiting for us.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Keep your cool, Charlie.
It wasn’t long before Bryce pulled up to the funeral home. There were tons of cars filling the parking lot, but he was able to get a close spot. I’ve been to funerals but the number of mourners here was astounding.
With each step closer to the funeral home, the tighter Markus’s grip became on my hand. I wanted to pull away so the blood could flood back into my fingers, but he wasn’t having it. “I’m not going anywhere,” I leaned up and whispered.
“I know.” He sounded slightly lost as we stepped inside.
“Then I would love some feeling back in my hand,”
I requested, pulling my hand out of his white knuckled grip.
Markus released me. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry.” I shook out my hand and held his again.
The rest of the day was solemn. Markus stood with his family as a procession of people came and offered up their condolences. He wanted me to stand next to him but I didn’t think it was right since I wasn’t part of the family. He wasn’t happy but I knew it was the right thing to do.
While I stood in the back observing the people walking in and out of the room, I caught glimpses of Markus talking to people.
Not long after, Beth walked over to talk to me. She explained that most of the people here were work colleagues and clients. I asked about family but apparently they were few and far between.
I stood there for a while longer, waiting for Markus, but he became distant, almost purposely avoiding me. I chalked it up to the wake. Seeing his mother’s closed casket and all. Being as dutiful as I could be, I kept back and waited for him to come to me. Though for most of the day, he talked to everyone else except me. I didn’t know what happened, or what I did to deserve his coldness. Whenever I had approached him, he would either ignore me or avoid me altogether. But I’d promised to be here for him and I was.
On the ride back to the hotel, Markus’s mood was pensive, only offering a few words. He undressed and fell right to sleep without much a word. Keeping to his side of the bed, I laid on mine and the entire time, I didn’t push.
It was going to be a tough day tomorrow when they laid Mrs. Landry to rest. It was the toughest for me when Nana was put in the ground.
The torment and regret reflecting on his face was brutal on my heart. However, his lack of actions and avoidance was hurting me just as much. Was he like this when things got rough? That became a worry for me throughout the night.
The following morning wasn’t any better. We got up, dressed, and headed to funeral home without a single word between us. An hour there before we were in a procession to the cemetery, then right after to a restaurant, which Bryce had set up for lunch for all who attended.
The entire time, Markus hadn’t spoken once. When I tried holding his hand, he would pull away. I didn’t know what to do and questioned what I was doing here. Why had he asked me to come? Nonetheless, I stood by his side, no hand holding, and waited out what would happen next. As each second passed, my heart broke piece by silent piece.
***
Markus
I was an asshole to Charlie last night and today, I knew it. Saw it clearly on her face when she walked away and headed back to the car. Yet, I couldn’t come to terms with the idea that my mother was dead. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. The second I saw the casket, a barrel full of emotions flooded me and I was drowning in my own misery and forgot all about Charlie.
Bottom line? My stupid sorry ass was feeling sorry for myself and I wasn’t able to turn off my black mood. I tried to go to Charlie, but every time I looked at her, something inside me was telling me to stay away, I wasn’t worthy. And I wasn’t, especially now.
Then I looked at my father, and realized that I was more like my old man than I wanted to admit. Everything my father did to my mother, I did in the last twenty-four hours to Charlie. I was rude, ignored her and chastised what little she said. All because I wasn’t thinking right. I should apologize but wasn’t sure it was enough, or how to say it without hurting her more.
As the waiter picked up our plates, Charlie stood and without a word headed to the bathroom. Bryce leaned over and asked, “What’s with you and Charlie? Did you two get in a fight?”
I glared at my brother. “Who are you now, Dear Abby?”
“No, Bryce is right. What’s going on between you two?” Beth asked with worry. “I don’t know Charlie, but from the look on her face, she’s not happy, Markus.”
“I…I.” I wasn’t sure what to say or how to explain what I did or how I was feeling. Especially with Charlie.
Just then I saw Charlie walked back, eyes shiny but looking down at the floor. Christ, I felt like the biggest asshole of the universe. “Charlie,” I called out too loudly, accidentally grabbing everyone attention.
She froze in place, eyes darting the room like she was the main attraction in a freak show. And there it was, plainly on her face. I hurt her. She was crying. Blotchy faced, red nose and eyelashes laced with wetness from tears not wiped away. Not two seconds later, she spun around and left the room.
I got up quickly and followed her to the woman’s bathroom but wasn’t fast enough to catch her.
I leaned my forehead against the door and knocked on it. “Charlie, please come out. I would like to talk.”
“Not necessary. And don’t worry about driving me home, Markus. I have a flight out of O’Hare at five.”
I instantly straightened, I suddenly felt gutted at her words. “Why? I promised to take you home.”
“I got a call from Mike and they need me back. The community board voted on closing the library. So I need to get home and start crating the books.”
I didn’t believe a word. “When did Mike call?”
“This morning, while you were in the shower. I called a cab to take me to the hotel to get my things, so you don’t have worry about leaving your family.” I heard a choked sob.
I pushed the door open. I didn’t care if someone else was inside. Charlie backed up; her hand covered her mouth as I took three strides and pulled her in for a hug. Without a word, I held her for a long minute.
Once she stopped crying, I pulled back and said the only thing I truly meant. “I’m so sorry.” My chest felt constricted like a boa was strangling the air out of my lungs as those words weren’t worth a damn bit of good. I’d hurt her, badly.
“I know.” She pulled out of my arms and grabbed some tissues that were on the counter and wiped at her eyes. Her spine straightened as though she gathered strength to what she was about to say next. “I knew this,” she pointed to between us, “We were only temporary. It was fun while it lasted though.”
“Charlie, we wer—”
“I want to thank you for the adventure,” she interrupted with a tentative look my way. “I’m glad I got to meet your family, even though it was on a sad occasion. But most of all, I’m happy you got to reunite with your family and reconcile with Bryce. Hey, at least I finally got to see some parts of the Midwest with my own eyes.”
“I wish…I was hoping we could take a tour of Chicago. I want to show you my old stomping grounds,” I said, hoping to coax her to stay, but she shook her head.
She gave such a teary heartfelt smile that didn’t quite reach her beautiful eyes; it lashed at my heart, breaking it in half. “Me too. But the library needs me and duty calls.” Her phone buzzed. “The cab is here.” She leaned up, kissed my cheek and walked out of bathroom in a rush.
I stood there like a fucking idiot, still stunned at what she unloaded on me. Eyes wet like hers, my vision blurred.
I wasn’t sure what to do next. What was I supposed to do, stop her from leaving? Yes, damn it!
For the first time in my life, I had no idea how to fix what had gone wrong. A tear trickled down my face, and I quickly wiped it away with the back of my hand. Damn it, I was crying.
Already missing Charlie and her precocious and honest attitude by my side, I quickly wiped the rest of the tears away and headed back into the dining area.
I saw both Beth and Bryce eyeing me with concern. I unconsciously looked around for Charlie, but I knew she was gone. Dropping my ass in the chair, I covered my face with my hands and tried to clear away the further grief settling into my shattered heart.
A hand rested on my shoulder, and I thought it was Bryce. Yet, it wasn’t my brother. It was my father instead. He took the chair next to me and began, “Markus.”
I looked at him, and for the first time, I saw familiar heartbreak in his eyes. The loss of the woman he loved.
“Son. Don’t let her go.”
Son. Jesus, when w
as the last time he called me that? “I don’t know if I should. She was adamant she had to leave. Her work—”
“All excuses. Do you honestly think she left for work? I saw the pained look in her eyes when she left. She’s hurting for you and from you. I know that look well. It’s the same look I saw in your mother’s eyes. Now that she’s gone, I will never get a chance to show her—prove to her that I loved her and was sorry for everything I put her through.”
Tears I never know him to have started to fall. I leaned toward my father and wrapped my arms around the man I thought I hated, did hate for the longest time, but who was now crying in my arms. Genuinely broken down, folded over and wept for the loss of my mother.
Bryce and Beth came around and wrapped their arms around us, giving him comfort and support. Several minutes went by before Markus Landry Sr. got a hold of himself, before he spoke straight to me. “It’s been too long for you to stay away, Markus. I—we want you back with us, where you belong. Come home.”
I stared at Bryce, who was nodding in agreement. “Come home.”
It was a decision I had to carefully mull over, but right then I knew I was too damn tired of thinking. “Yes. I’ll come home.” Though, with Charlie, letting her go was the only thing I did right. Because once I settled back down in Chicago, I’d get her back.
Chapter Seventeen
Charlie ~ One month later
“Charlie, where do these boxes of books go?” Mike asked as he picked up two of the five boxes near the door.
“All five boxes are going to Piedmont. Can you please put them in my car, I’ll drive them over this afternoon.” I said, handing him my keys.
Mike grabbed them from my hand and asked, “Can’t you do it tomorrow?”
“No. I have too much stuff still to do.” That was a bold faced lie but I didn’t want Mike hovering.
“Why don’t you go to the dance tonight? The VFW is hosting it. I’ll save you a dance,” Mike singsonged.
