by Mary Larkin
‘Are you seeing each other?’
He nodded and she sighed.
‘Then the baby is yours?’
He was very still as he digested these words. What on earth was she talking about?
‘I must say I’m surprised,’ she continued. ‘You professed to love me, but you held me at arm’s length. Yet you must have jumped into bed with her as soon as she arrived in Darlo. What’s she got that I haven’t? Was it because of the way I treated you? Were you feeling rejected? Is that why you were so easily tempted? Was I that easy to forget, Donald?’
His endeavour to turn the conversation and question her was frowned upon, as a woman’s soprano voice took off, filling the room with sweetness as she sang ‘This is my Lovely Day’.
He was glad of the respite. It saved him from putting his big foot in it. His mind was in turmoil. Was Margaret trying to cause mischief, or was Susan really pregnant?
The door opened quietly and he saw Susan slip into the room. His eyes slid over her figure, but she wore a loose sweater that covered her well. But surely he would have noticed before now, if she really was expecting? Hadn’t they danced together? Still, she might not be showing yet. He glanced down at the girl by his side. Her bump was small but noticeable; there was no doubt she was expecting a child. He saw Susan whisper to Edith and Billy and guessed that she was saying good night. The song finished and, amidst the applause, Susan used the respite to cross the room. Ignoring Margaret, she leant close and smiled into his eyes. ‘I’m going home now, Donald. Want to come in for a nightcap?’
For the life of him he couldn’t respond to her teasing invitation. He knew she was doing as he had asked and was pretending that they were on more than friendly terms, but his mind baulked at the idea that she might be expecting a child. Good God, would everyone think it was his?
‘I think I’ll stay a while longer and listen to the singers,’ he eventually managed to answer her.
Shock blocked all expression from her face. She slowly straightened, her eyes raking his face with contempt. She shrugged. ‘Suit yourself. Good night, Margaret. Looks like you win. Enjoy yourself.’
He half-rose to follow her, but Margaret had a vice-like hold on his arm and, as someone else was about to sing, he didn’t want to cause a fuss. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. ’ His voice followed her, full of apology, but Susan hardened her heart. He had warned her he would be unable to resist Margaret, but he shouldn’t have let her make a fool of herself like that.
‘Don’t bother! I’ll be busy.’
‘What about the dance tomorrow night?’
She didn’t deign to answer him, but Margaret was quick to ask, ‘What dance?’
‘In the Pali,’ he said abruptly.
‘I’ll get Jack to take me. Why not join us?’
‘I think not, Margaret. I’m sure I can persuade Susan to go. Will you excuse me, please?’
He collected his coat and muffler and left quickly. His house was in darkness and he knew better than to try to get Susan to admit him again. She had been angry! And no wonder. Hadn’t he asked for her support and then, when it was offered, had refused it? But Margaret had taken him unawares. Was Susan really pregnant? If she was, why hadn’t she told him? What would people think when she could no longer hide it? They were bound to think it was his. Well, what about it, he lamented inwardly, so long as those who mattered knew the truth? However, he found that it did matter! It mattered a lot. There had been enough gossip about him lately.
Tomorrow he would find out what she was playing at. After all, they were friends, not lovers. She didn’t have to confide in him, he reminded himself for the umpteenth time. But she should have told him! Prepared him. After all, it would only be natural for people to assume he was the father.
Margaret watched him leave the room, a grim smile on her face. She had noted different expressions flit across Donald’s face. She had seen the perplexed frown puckering his brow and drew her own conclusions. Susan had obviously not yet told him he was about to become a father. Now why was that? she mused.
It was lunchtime when he first arrived at Susan’s door. Receiving no answer to his knock, he braced himself and banged on Edith’s door. It was opened immediately by Margaret.
‘Is Susan not in?’ she asked, a hint of a laugh in her voice. ‘Mind you, I thought she was. Come in.’
‘It’s all right. If she’s not here, I’ll call back later.’
‘She’ll probably come here for her lunch. Why not join us?’
Reluctantly he entered the hall and, to his dismay, the house appeared to be empty. ‘Where is everyone?’ he asked as he hung his coat on the rail.
‘Edith and Billy went off to visit somebody and Jack has gone to see a friend about a job.’
His heart skipped a beat. They were alone. He shouldn’t be here. ‘So you aren’t going back to London then?’
‘Not if I can help it. For heaven’s sake, stop hovering about there and sit down. I won’t bite you.’
Suddenly she gave a pleased cry and patted her stomach. ‘Oh, the baby just kicked me. Look.’ She moved close to his chair and he could indeed see her stomach moving. ‘It’s turning over. Feel!’
He cowered back in the chair with a grimace of distaste. She laughed in derision. ‘You really are the limit, Donald. Imagine being afraid to touch a little baby.’
‘I’m not afraid. It just doesn’t seem decent. Besides, it isn’t a baby yet.’
‘It is, you just can’t see it yet. Does Susan’s move? How far on is she?’
He had decided not to let her guess he was in the dark regarding Susan’s condition. ‘I’m afraid you’ll have to ask her that.’
She stared intently at him. ‘I do believe she hasn’t told you about it. Now, I wonder why? Can it be that she’s not sure of you?’
She was bending over him, her soft blonde hair brushing his face.
‘Eh, Donald? Why is she not sure? Could it be you still care for me, and she knows it?’ Her breath fanned his cheek and he waited for the remembered soft feel of her lips against it. Instead she leant closer and her lips and tongue teasingly caressed the corner of his mouth. All the old yearning awakened and he turned his lips to meet hers. It was wonderful to be near her like this. The gentleness of the kiss intensified and he rose and gathered her close.
For some moments they devoured each other and then, dragging his mouth from hers, he cried, ‘Margaret, where did I go wrong?’
‘You didn’t,’ she wailed. ‘It was my fault. All my fault. I was impatient and tried to hurry things on by making you jealous. Then it all went haywire and ran out of control. I didn’t realise Jack was such a passionate man and we got carried away. After that, there was no going back. It was exciting, but it was you I wanted. I thought that perhaps, if I explained everything to you, you’d understand, but then before I had the chance to talk to you, you and Jack had that big fight. And then I had no choice - I had to go off with him.’
‘And there I was trying to do things decent, managing to keep my hands off you, and you were letting Jack get his leg over. I don’t understand! I wanted you to know I respected you. That’s why I hung back,’ he cried bitterly.
‘I realise that now. But at the time I thought you were being offhand and didn’t care enough.’
‘Offhand? How could you think that?’ Aware that his passion was getting out of control, he tried to put her from him, but she clung on.
‘To be truthful, Jack’s passion took me unawares. I never dreamt he could be so fiery. He’s a wonderful lover, but it’s you I love, Donald. I can’t stop thinking about you. I should never have married Jack.’
Pictures of her and Jack together flashed before his mind and he felt repulsed. How could she have carried on like that with Jack if she loved him? ‘It’s too late, Margaret. Besides, what if I didn’t come up to your expectations as a lover, eh? You’d be throwing away a good marriage for nothing.’
She pressed closer still and he groaned with desire. ‘I don’t think
I’m likely to find you wanting.’
‘Behave yourself, Margaret. Someone is sure to come in.’>
‘Meet me, Donald! Just say where and when and I’ll make sure I’m there.’
His mind baulked at what she was asking of him. ‘It wouldn’t work, Margaret. I couldn’t do that to Jack. We were best friends at one time.’
‘He didn’t consider your feelings when he seduced me, now did he? So why should you consider his? You want me! That’s obvious. Come on, no one need ever know.’
‘You’re expecting a baby,’ he cried, horrified.
‘Do you think I could ever forget that? But there’ll be no harm done, if that’s what you’re afraid of. It’s not a sickness, you know.’
The doorknob rattled and then a loud, angry knock heralded the arrival of Jack. Margaret reluctantly withdrew from the warmth of Donald’s embrace. Drawing a deep, steadying breath, she smoothed the hair back from her face and went to let her husband in.
‘Why did you lock the door? You knew I wouldn’t be long,’ Jack said accusingly. He looked closely at his wife. ‘Are you feeling all right? You look flushed . . .’ For the life of him he couldn’t describe just how she looked. His nostrils flared when he entered the living room and saw Donald sitting by the fireside, a newspaper open on his lap.
Jack’s eyes darted from one to the other of them suspiciously. He hated the way his jealousy bounded out of control when he saw them together.
Donald rushed into speech. ‘I’m waiting for Susan. You haven’t by any chance seen her?’
‘Yes. I’ve just walked up the street with her. She’s just gone in next door.’
Donald wondered if it was safe to get up. Margaret guessed his predicament and, grabbing his coat from the rail, threw it at him. ‘I told you she wouldn’t be long.’ She turned to her husband, keeping his attention. ‘Well, any luck, Jack?’
Glad of the chance to escape, Donald said, ‘I’ll nip in and see her.’
Still Margaret detained him. ‘Oh, before you go . . . Jack, there’s a dance on at the Pali tonight. Donald’s taking Susan - can we join them?’
‘I don’t think you’re in any condition to go dancing, Margaret.’
‘Why not? I won’t be the only expectant mother there, you know. Besides, we’re married. We’ve nothing to be ashamed of.’
From Jack’s bewildered expression, Donald guessed he was not aware of his cousin’s condition. Trying to retrieve the situation, he cried, ‘Susan could very well refuse me. After all, she might just want a quiet night at home.’
‘Then you can come with us. Can’t he, Jack?’
Donald was out of the door before Jack could reply.
He walked the length of the street to give his emotions a chance to cool down. He really shouldn’t let Margaret get to him like this. It was reckless the way she kept throwing herself at him, not caring who noticed. He would have to put an end to it once and for all. She was married and pregnant, and had already made a fool of him once before, and he had no intention of letting it happen again. Feeling much calmer, he approached his house and quietly knocked on the door.
Susan scowled at him. ‘What do you want?’
‘Can I come in for a minute? . . . Please?’
Reluctantly she moved aside and, passing her, he entered the living room.
‘You will have to come into the kitchen. I’m making myself some lunch.’
‘Margaret said you’d be going next door for your lunch.’
‘Huh! After the way you behaved last night?’ She tossed her head angrily. ‘I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction to gloat. She probably thinks I’m running after you. Besides, I can’t stand that girl. She’s always asking questions. Probing into my affairs. Why should I tell her any of my business?’
His eyes intently on her face, Donald said softly, ‘You must have become quite pally at some stage, since you told her about the baby.’
Hot colour flooded her face and then receded, leaving her deathly pale. ‘I told her nothing of the sort!’ she whispered. ‘What exactly did she say?’
‘She asked me when our baby was due.’
Her hand clutched at her throat. ‘Oh my God. What did you say?’
‘I was gobsmacked. Didn’t know what to say. I told her she would have to ask you about that. She could see I was flabbergasted and I think she surmised that you had not told me I was to become a father, so I didn’t enlighten her.’
‘I’m so sorry, Donald. She must have guessed. Probably because she’s pregnant herself, she recognised the signs. I know Aunt Edith would never have broken my confidence. But for her to accuse you? Why, that’s monstrous, so it is. She’s just jealous, that’s what it is. Jealousy!’
He shrugged. ‘It’s what everyone else will be thinking once they know.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll soon make it clear you’re not the father.’
Her voice was bitter and, his ego dented, he retorted, ‘Thanks a lot! I’m not all that bad, you know.’
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake don’t go seeing slights where there aren’t any. You’d make a fine father, but we must keep the record straight.’
‘Is your husband the father?’
She turned away. Should she admit there was no husband? No, that would only complicate matters further. Donald would think he was dealing with a nutcase. ‘No, he isn’t the father.’
His mind ticked over and slowly he voiced his thoughts. ‘So the baby is the reason your marriage broke up?’ She made no comment, just continued buttering bread. ‘You must care very much about this other man, so where is he? Did he let you down?’
She turned and stared intently at him. ‘I don’t want to talk about this, Donald, so would you like to leave now, or stay to lunch?’
He saw that he was going to be none the wiser and replied, ‘I’d like to stay for lunch.’
‘Then take off your coat and make yourself useful, like setting the table for instance.’
Against Susan’s better judgement she agreed to accompany him to the dance that night. Margaret had persuaded Jack to bring her along and it was no surprise when they joined Susan and Donald. Every dance, the minute the music started up, Donald hustled Susan on to the floor. Finding all this activity too much for her, she chided him, ‘Much as I enjoy dancing, I’m afraid this is getting too much for me. I’m getting a bit exhausted.’
‘You never complained before.’
‘We did have wee breaks before . . . You know, like sitting out a dance for a chat or a drink?’
He looked crestfallen. ‘I’m sorry, Susan. I just want to keep as far away from Margaret as possible.’
They were near the table where the drinks were on sale and she steered him towards it. ‘I’m gasping for a drink.’
He smiled down at her. ‘What would you like?’
‘An orange juice, please. Oh, there’s two seats. I’ll grab them and you hurry, before they discover where we are.’
Their seats were screened from the dancers’ view by the couples who were standing on the edge of the floor sipping their drinks. They relaxed, secure in the thought that they had some time to themselves.
‘Do you know something, Susan? I’ll be glad when Jack goes back to London tomorrow.’
‘Even if Margaret stays behind?’
Donald jerked upright, spilling his drink down the front of his shirt. ‘You can’t mean that!’ he cried, feverishly mopping at his shirt with a handkerchief.
‘Oh, but I do. He asked me if I would let her stay with me.’
‘What? Why you? Surely the obvious ones would be his parents?’
‘I know, but he thought she might get bored, what with them working all day at the market. And it wouldn’t do for Margaret to be bored, now, would it?’ she added sarcastically.
‘You surely didn’t agree?’
‘No, I certainly did not, and I made it quite plain to Jack. If she should agree to stay with Aunt Edith, can I remain in your house?’
Eyes bri
ght with laughter fixed on her face and he said teasingly, ‘Well . . . I don’t know about that. You never paid your rent and I was considering eviction.’
Consternation widened her eyes. ‘I forgot all about that. It’s because I got such a shock at lunchtime. It went completely out of my head.’
A shadow fell across them. ‘So here you are! Hiding away. You two must really be in love.’ Margaret stood before them, hands on hips, disapproval apparent in every line of her body.
Reluctantly Donald rose to his feet and motioned her to sit down. ‘Where’s Jack?’
‘He’s getting me a drink.’ The music was just starting another quickstep. ‘How about giving me a dance, Donald? If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were avoiding me.’
‘Here!’ A glass of lemonade was thrust into her hand, and Jack glared at her. ‘I think you’ve danced enough for one night. Don’t forget your condition. We don’t want any accidents, do we?’
Her lips tightened and her nostrils flared in anger. How dare Jack speak to her like that in front of them. ‘Susan is dancing just as much, if indeed not more than me. Are you not going to advise her to take it easy?’ she retorted.
‘What on earth are you talking about, Margaret?’ His bewilderment was obvious.
Her smile was malicious. ‘Has your dear cousin not confided in you then? She’s also expecting a baby.’
Shocked eyes rested on Susan. ‘Is this true?’
She rose to her feet. ‘I can’t see what business it is of yours, Jack, or anybody else’s, for that matter. But yes, I am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired and I think I’ll go home.’ Donald moved to join her, but she stayed him with a raised hand. ‘There is no need for you to accompany me, Donald. Stay and enjoy the rest of the dance. I’ll be perfectly all right on my own.’
‘Oh, but I want to see you home. If I’m lucky I might even get something to eat,’ he teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
To his relief, she laughed and agreed with a smile. ‘You just might at that. Good night, Jack.’ An abrupt nod was all she allowed herself in Margaret’s direction.
