“You know, I’ve loved you since your birthday party.” Brendan took my hand in his. “That was the moment I knew I would fight Sawyer to my final breath for you.”
“Oh, so it was the birthday spanking that made you fall in love with me?” A slight smile formed on my tear-stained face.
“It was everything.” He squeezed my hand tight. “We’ll figure this out. I’ll do anything to keep you by my side.”
If things were that simple, we would have told Sawyer to go to hell the next day when we were sitting across from him. But we were under contract, and the terms were clearly laid out when we first signed. Breaking the terms would end both of our careers if he sued us for breaching the contract. All of our lies would be brought into the light and it would destroy what we had. I didn’t want to do that to our fans. They deserved more than an illusion and a lie, but it was what we fed them. If we pulled the wool back and they saw the truth, it would expose a side of the business that would cause irreparable harm. It wasn’t fair that we had to carry that burden, but it was what we signed up for when we first wanted to taste fame. I was torn up when we left Sawyer’s office, but the path we were on would inevitably split.
“We’ll go on Carson’s show tomorrow.” I reached over and took Brendan’s hand. “Let’s enjoy the last part of this journey together.”
“It’s not going to end there.” Brendan shook his head as we stepped out onto the sidewalk. “We’re going to let the world believe it, but we’ll always have each other.”
“I know.” I nodded as he pulled me close for a hug.
We made love when we got back to my apartment and lay together with sleep refusing to pull us away from our turmoil. We stared at each other as the hours went by. Neither of us wanted to say anything, but we felt the tug that we looming in the darkness. The next morning, we ordered breakfast, ate it, and I got dressed for the day. Brendan had to head back to his apartment to shower and get ready, but we agreed to meet outside the studio. I checked my phone for the first time since the previous night and saw that I had a missed call. I listened to the message and was surprised to find out that it was from someone at Carson’s radio station.
“Ah crap.” I slammed my finger into the phone once I heard the message. “I thought Sawyer would send them the track!”
It seemed that in the midst of getting everything ready for the interview, nobody had sent the rough cut of the duet we put together over to the radio station. I tried to call Sawyer, but I got his voicemail, so I decided to just stop by the studio and send it myself. The audio engineer let me in and pulled up the list of tracks we had been working on. I sat down and started listening. The first time I heard the complete song, there were tears in my eyes. It sounded so beautiful. There was still work to do and the band’s part still hadn’t been added in for the background, but it was amazing.
“How do I send this over to Carson Jones?” I looked at the audio engineer.
“Just select it and drag it over to the email. It’ll automatically fill if you type in Carson. We send him enough stuff.” The audio engineer chuckled.
“Oh shit.” I tilted my head. “I think I sent all of the tracks.”
“No problem, just tell him to play the one from yesterday.” The audio engineer shrugged.
“Okay, crap—I’m running late.” I looked at my watch and quickly grabbed my purse.
“Sawyer has me working on the duet all day, so I should have a finished product for you tonight.” The audio engineer waved as I headed towards the door. “Good luck.”
“Thanks!” I gave him a smile and picked up the pace once I was outside of the studio.
Brendan was pacing nervously when I finally arrived. I quickly explained what happened and we hugged as we walked to the elevators. He took my hand and held it all the way to the top floor where Carson’s radio station was located. Walking into the station brought back memories. It was the first time Brendan had been honest with me, and I was finally starting to like him—right before he promised the world our duet. I was so furious then, but it had worked out beautifully in the end. Carson seemed short with us when we walked into his studio, but I attributed it to us being late. We took our seats and pulled the microphone close as he motioned for the countdown.
“Hello, Nashville! I’m Carson Jones and as promised, I’ve got Brendan Tanner and Lauren Williams in the studio with me.” Carson pointed at us.
“Hi, Nashville!” I smiled as I spoke.
“Great to be here.” Brendan looked over at me and winked.
“So, we’re about to hear the duet we have heard so much about.” Carson leaned against the edge of his desk. “But, before we hear that—Lauren, the email you sent me had a lot of different versions of the song.”
“Yeah.” I rolled my eyes and tried to cover with a joke. “I guess email doesn’t work here like it did in Texas.”
“You two have come a long way in a short time.” Carson nodded. “Some might say it’s a bit of a fairy tale.”
“That it is.” I smiled again. “This is the man that swept me off my feet.”
“Yes.” Brendan nodded. “Lauren took me by surprise, but I couldn’t be happier.”
“Interesting you should say that, Brendan.” Carson reached over and hit a button on his soundboard. “Because one of the tracks Lauren sent was very interesting.”
I listened as the track started to play, but it wasn’t our song. It was the sound of Brendan’s guitar followed by drums, and then I heard Gavin’s voice. I tilted my head in confusion and looked over at Brendan. He seemed perplexed at first, but then his eyes opened wide. Carson glared at the two of us as Brendan’s slurred words echoed. It was the two of them talking in the studio and they sounded drunk. My lips started the tremble as I heard Brendan tell Gavin that he was only with me to help sell records. My relationship with Lauren is as fake as my accent. That was the line that pushed me over the edge and caused tears to well up in my eyes. I pulled off my headset, threw it on the desk, and ran towards the exit of the radio station.
“Lauren, wait!” Brendan chased me out into the street.
“What the fuck, Brendan?” I turned to him with my sorrowful tears turning to angry daggers. “Gavin didn’t get to Nashville until after my birthday party. You said that was the moment you knew!”
“I did!” Brendan put his hands on his head for a moment and then reached for me, but I pulled away.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” I slammed my hands straight down to my side to avoid him.
“Lauren, I wanted Gavin to know Sawyer’s plan. I didn’t want him to think he was walking into a situation like what we had back in Chicago.” Brendan started breathing hard and his eyes reflected despair.
“Oh, so I’m just another version of the girl that cheated on you? Were you using her too?” I took a step back and shook my head. “I fell for you. I thought you were right there with me, but clearly you weren’t!”
“I was! I swear I was! It’s not like that. It was stupid.” Brendan took a step towards me. “Please, Lauren. I love you.”
“How can I trust anything that you say?” I shook my head and turned away from him. “Just fucking leave me alone.”
There was nothing around us but pure chaos. I knew that every set of eyes I encountered hadn’t heard the broadcast, but it felt like they did. It felt like they were judging me for my relationship with Brendan—for being the idiot that fell for a liar. Brendan called me nonstop for hours, but I refused to answer. Sawyer was right there with him, blowing my phone up. I finally had to silence it just to get away from the constant buzzing. When Brendan beat on my door, I stared at it as the hinges rattled. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust the man that had taken my virginity and introduced me to a world of passion I never knew could exist, but his lies were so eloquent. He could slap an accent on his tongue and make anyone believe him. I felt like one of our foolish fans, falling for an illusion while the truth was right in front of me.
How could
I be so fucking stupid?
16
Brendan
Accompanying Song:
“Her Diamonds” by Rob Thomas
I beat on Lauren’s door until my hand was almost shattered from the repeated impact of bone on wood. I would have endured any form of pain to take her sorrow away. There were tears of regret in my eyes when I finally left and walked out onto the neon colored streets. I had made a horrible mistake. I understood how it looked on her side of the door. We had been trapped in a web of lies since the moment we set foot in Nashville. We were the ones walking on the edge of the web, but they had finally trapped us. I had no doubt that my career in country music was over, but I didn’t care about that. The only thing I cared about was Lauren. I needed her more than I needed anything else in the world.
“I’m so sorry…” I let my phone drop from my hands as I left another voicemail.
I’m so fucking sorry.
I collapsed on the floor beneath the weight of whiskey and regret as the sun started to rise in the morning sky. The light sickened me. My phone was a mess of calls from Sawyer, Gavin, and other people I knew. The one call I needed most wasn’t there. I crawled across the floor until I felt the rug beneath my hands and fell against it. My primal need for sleep wasn’t strong enough to knock me out, but exhaustion and alcohol had done the trick. I stayed in the black slumber of the dreamless sleep for hours until I finally woke up with my body covered in sweat. I immediately though of Lauren, but then the weight of everything crashed into me again as the fog of reality crushed my spirit. I found my phone again and scrolled through the missed calls. I tried her one more time, but didn’t even leave a voicemail when I heard her cheery voice asking for a message.
There’s nothing that can undo this. How can she ever trust me again after what she heard?
There was no way to bottle the dragon of despair I had unleashed on our world. I picked up my bottle of whiskey and drained a drop from the emptiness. I needed more. There wasn’t enough alcohol in Nashville to quell my sorrow, but it was the only thing I could turn to. I put on a hat and made my way to the liquor store. The television behind the register was playing our story. There was a picture of my face with a giant red X over it. I didn’t listen to the full story as I paid for my bottle, but some of them echoed in my eyes. Fraud—liar—those were both true. I walked back to my apartment and collapsed on the floor again. My fingers twisted the cap off the whiskey and I started to soak my liver in the poison.
Maybe this will just fucking kill me. I might as well go out like a country song if I’ve truly lost her.
I listened to a few of my messages. Between the angry calls from the people who had believed the lie I told and multiple requests for interviews, I heard Sawyer telling me that he couldn’t represent me anymore. Another one followed letting me know that my album was being pulled from the stores. Gavin was also done with me. He was heading back to Chicago because the explosion was blowing back on him since he was also in the recording. My horrible choice had destroyed everything. I had gone from hero to villain over the course of one stupid recorded mistake. I remembered the moment well, but we were so drunk that I didn’t even think about it being recorded. We were just jamming and he was learning the songs. If I would have been thinking straight, common sense would have told me to erase it.
Nashville is Chicago all over again, but this time, it is entirely my fault.
I spent a week lost in the bottle before I really saw the light of day again. I made a trek to the liquor store, drank, passed out, and repeated the process over and over. I barely ate and my body hurt every time my eyes opened. It was nothing like the despair in my heart, but the physical manifestation slowly ate away at my soul. There was no reason to stay in Nashville any longer. Lauren hadn’t called me once and everything I had was crushed to nothingness.
I packed a few things in a duffel bag and got on a plane to Chicago. Both cities were reflections of misery, but Nashville hurt worse. I was drunk by the time the plane landed and poured myself into the back of a taxi. I checked into a hotel under a fake name and crashed into the bed once I was in my room.
At least they deliver alcohol in Chicago. I won’t even have to leave this fucking room.
The fallout of my relationship with Lauren made national news. I finally got the courage to turn on the television and watch some of the videos online. She was painted as the victim, despite her role in the original lie. Sawyer had his public relations team working overtime, shaming me at every turn while propping her up as nothing more than an innocent girl from Texas who fell for an asshole. That much was true. If she managed to come out of the lie with her dignity intact, she deserved it. I hoped she would find happiness on the other side of our decimation. She was too innocent for the world Sawyer pushed us into. I could be the villain as long as she survived.
17
Lauren
Accompanying Song:
“Miss World” by Hole
I was living a new lie. My guilt ate me alive as I watched Brendan’s name get slaughtered in the headlines while mine was painted with broad strokes of heartbreak. I was the victim. I was the girl that fell for a man who seduced me with lies. That was the story they told, and it was partially true, but the reality was much worse. I was right there with him, telling every lie with snake venom on my tongue. We created a world that drew people in and we always planned to shatter their hope, but I never expected mine to be destroyed along with it. They called Brendan all sorts of horrible names. Some of them he deserved. The one that became a favorite of the media was Mr. Twang. The man who faked everything, including his accent, as he brought ruination to Nashville’s trusting heart.
“You’re going to have to give an interview at some point.” Sawyer leaned back in his chair and sighed. “You can’t be silent forever.”
“The fact I’m sitting here is a huge step.” My words snapped angrily against my teeth. “I just want to go back to Texas and pretend this is all a bad dream.”
“You could do that.” Sawyer nodded. “You’ll be right back where you started when the world first heard Shattered Heart. But what message does that send? Whether you like it or not, this is the narrative we planned from the beginning. The world needed to see that girl find happiness, and then stand beside her when she got her heart broken again.”
“Yeah, but that was supposed to help both of us. Brendan’s career is over. Mine might as well be. I don’t fucking want it anymore.” I shook my head back and forth.
“It is unfortunate what happened with Brendan, but he was the one that chose to take things to the next level. He didn’t have to pretend that he actually fell for you. The original version worked just fine.” Sawyer exhaled sharply. “I don’t know that it was totally a lie. I do believe he had feelings for you.”
“Really? You heard what he said on that recording. He had no reason to say it unless it was true.” I glared at Sawyer and narrowed my eyes. “It was just easier for him to keep me in line if I had feelings for him.”
“You really believe that?” Sawyer sighed.
“I don’t know what to believe. When we were together, it felt real. I thought he cared about me. He’s just such a good liar that I don’t even know anymore.” I slumped down into my chair. “I’m not ready for an interview. I think I need to go home and reassess things.”
“I want you to think about your fans before you give up. Whether you like it or not, you are a symbol to all of them now. If you just crawl in a hole somewhere, that’s the message they’ll hear—if you get your heart broken or fall for a shitty guy, just wallow in your misery forever.” Sawyer sighed again. “It’s the weight you carry. You’re not the only one that is impacted if you just become the girl who sang Shattered Heart again.”
“Maybe I don’t want that weight.” I stood up and shook my head.
“Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you want.” Sawyer watched as I walked towards the doors.
How did all of this become so fucking c
omplicated? Why did I let myself become such a horrible person?
My phone rang when I left Sawyer’s office and I saw Misty’s number. I had been avoiding her calls for too long. I walked to the park and called her back. Over tears and heartache, I shared the truth with her. I told her that the initial relationship was a lie, but it seemed to be something real, only to become reality in the end. She said my parents were worried about me. I had spoken to them a few times, but it hadn’t been much more than a confirmation that I was still alive. They wanted me to come back home, and so did Misty. I missed Texas, but Sawyer’s words were playing in my head. I made the world trust my lie—our lie. I owed them something better than that. They couldn’t know the truth, but I had a few sad songs in my heart that might help them move past it, even if I didn’t.
I don’t deserve success for my lie, but admitting the truth will hurt my fans a lot more than what they believe right now. I’ve become a symbol of heartbreak, so maybe the weight of it is the price of my penance.
After I got back to my apartment, I pulled up the singles from my new album on YouTube. I read through the comments and felt my stomach churn. They were spewing pure vitriol for Brendan while calling me a saint in the same sentence. I deserved the same hate that was aimed at him. He might have been the one that broke my heart, but it wasn’t supposed to end the way it did. It was supposed to be a message on both ends and tell the story of recovering from heartbreak from shared perspectives. I listened to a few of Brendan’s messages that I hadn’t instantly deleted. There was true sorrow in his voice, and I wanted to believe him, but his lies were so fresh that I couldn’t feel anything but regret over falling for him in the first place. It was an experience I would never forget, and our passion blazed hotter than the Texas sun in the middle of summer, but just like the sun—it went dark and left me standing in a cold desert alone.
Mr. Twang_A Fake Relationship Romance Page 10
