by Tia Siren
“We’d be together all the time,” she said.
“And it’ll still give us a cover if we want to keep…well…you know.”
She sat down, and something inside me deflated in relief. I sat down in front of her and our food was set down. We ate in silence for a while before I finally broke it.
“If Marcus continues to suspect anything, or even finds us coming back from lunches like this, we’ll just show him the papers. That’s all we have to do. The internship is real, and it’s there whether this continues or not. But if this does continue, then that’s our cover for our lunches and dinners,” I said.
“Okay,” she said lightly.
All at once, this beautiful, flourishing woman I had coaxed out of her shell had buried herself as deep back into it as she could go, and it was all because I hadn’t stood up for her. I felt like a piece of shit for not railroading Marcus for what he did because the truth was, they’d probably done that to her throughout her entire life. They’d probably cast what she wanted to the side in favor of what they thought was good for her and didn’t give her opinions a second thought.
I wasn’t going to make that same mistake again.
I slid over some papers from her school to make the internship-class link official, and I told her I’d get her copies of everything. She said to get her the originals so she could send them off to the school, and I told her I’d worry about it so she wouldn’t have to. For the first time at lunch that day, I saw her smile.
“There she is,” I said gently.
“So you’re actually going to give me this paid internship?” she asked.
“Yes. But I’m going to keep the pay scale negotiating piece of paper for another day. You know, in case your brother happens.” I winked. “For now, signing these papers are the excuse for our lunch today.”
“Sounds good to me.” She agreed with a nod.
“I’m glad it’s going to be you,” I said earnestly.
“We’ll be seeing a lot of each other,” she said. “Will that be too…distracting for you? You know, if we continue…”
“I think it’s gonna be perfect.” I smirked. “Especially if we continue…”
I winked at her and watched her blush. When she held her hand out to me, I was ecstatic. I felt the warmth revive her skin and life suddenly flooded back into her eyes. All at once, she was the young, vibrant woman I’d been spending my time with when back home again. We finished our lunch and got some drinks to go. Just like we thought would happen eventually, Marcus was outside when we pulled up to her house. There was an inquisitive look on his face until he saw who was in the front seat with me, and then all at once anger poured into his features.
I loved Marcus and all, but he needed to lighten the fuck up.
“You think he’s checking up on us? I didn’t think he was supposed to be home today,” Hanna said quietly.
“I honestly think he might be. He’s really getting paranoid.”
“Well, for good reason.” She giggled.
“If we get caught, Hanna, are you going to be all right?” I asked.
I turned to face her just as Marcus pulled up behind us. I locked eyes with her while I dug the papers out of my jacket. A small smile formed on her face, and she put her hand on top of mine. For a split second, I thought this transaction was going to go in a very different direction.
“I already told you how I felt the other night, Kason,” she said. “I’m a big girl. I can handle a little crush.”
Marcus pounded on her window, and Hanna had no issues rolling it down. The questions running behind his eyes were stuck in his throat, his face filled with fiery hot anger. All I did was pass him the papers Hanna had signed earlier.
“Internship stuff, dude. You’re not the only person in your family I’m helping.”
He unfolded the papers and seemed satisfied with what was on them. We both watched as he took in a deep breath to relax himself. The red color that had risen to his face and neck slowly dissipated along with his intense emotions. He looked at Hanna hard before turning his attention to me.
“What you’re doing for her is awesome. Thanks, man.”
“Not a problem, Marcus. Just…friggin’ calm down, all right? You’re getting really paranoid, and it’s not a good look.”
He nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Chapter 23
Hanna
“Thanks for the job!” I yelled back to Kason.
“It’s an internship!” he yelled back.
“Whatever!”
I walked into the house and decided to give Stacey a call. I really wanted to see how she was doing and—if she was up for the talk—I wanted to tell her about these new developments. The last time I had tried to talk to her, Brad told me she needed some space and time to rest, so I was only getting updates through him. But I needed my best friend now more than ever. She would want to know all the sordid details about Kason and me. I figured I could stay away from all the baby stuff since Kason made himself really clear about where he stood on all that.
“Hello?” Stacey asked.
“Hey, Stace. It’s Hanna. How you feeling?” I asked.
“Hey, Hanna. I’m doing all right, I guess. Slowly getting better. How are you?”
“Doing good. Things have gotten…interesting…with Kason.” I smirked.
“Fuck, Hanna,” Stacey said.
“Don’t worry. We’re using protection,” I whispered.
“Oh. Well, good!”
“I was wondering if maybe you felt good enough to have some company?”
“Will I get all the details about you and Kason?” she asked.
“I’ll even bring cake over.”
“Oh, yes. I’ll see you soon.”
I went upstairs and changed quickly. Then I ran downstairs and hopped into my car. I drove through our favorite eatery and picked up two massive slices of chocolate cake and some coffee for both of us, and then I was on my way to Stacey’s. I had missed my best friend through all of this, and I really wanted to spill my guts and tell her everything. I wanted to tell her about the argument and Marcus’s blowup and how I felt about Kason and our talk about babies and how my mom still wanted me to be a young mom… But I knew that would be a really sore subject for her and I didn’t want her to think I was being insensitive. I had missed my best friend too much to be kicked out for my idiotic mouth.
So, I decided to stick to Kason and me sleeping together and the internship.
I pulled up to her and Brad’s and practically stumbled out of the car. I knocked on the door and Stacey ripped it open. I was tackled by a massive hug that lasted until I couldn’t breathe. God, I had missed my best friend. I couldn’t wait to fill her in.
“Coffee,” I said, holding it out.
“You’re a goddess.”
“And chocolate cake for two.” I smiled.
“Yeeeees,” she groaned.
We went into her kitchen and sat down. I was glad Brad was at work. I really needed some alone time with Stacey, and I didn’t want to risk him making me leave early.
“All right,” Stacey said. “So, Kason.”
“Well, the small detail is this: my mentor at school informed me I needed an internship for both semesters of my senior year and not just one.”
“Wait. What?” Stacey asked.
“Yeah. Isn’t that shit? Anyway, Kason’s giving me an internship at his company.”
“That’s awesome!”
“Yeah. He’s also hired Marcus full time to do stuff with his website. I don’t really know much about it, except that it’s apparently up Marcus’ alley.” I shrugged.
“Hanna, that’s really cool. What’ll your internship be?” she asked.
“I’ll be his secretary.”
“Oooooh, sounds sordid,” she whispered.
“Yeah. We’re slowly signing the papers as we need to.”
“Why ‘as you need to’?” Stacey asked.
That was when the smirk cr
ossed my face.
“Do you really think Marcus would be happy about me hooking up with his best friend?”
She squealed. “Oh my god, I knew it! Tell me everything. What’s he like? How big is he? How many times? God, Hanna, did he agree to your deal? Please tell me you weren’t lying about using protection.”
I was honestly shocked that she’d brought that part of the story up. I stared at her for a second, and she caught my reaction before she reached out for my hand and took it within hers.
“Did he agree?” she asked again.
“No,” I said. “And at first I fought him on it. But…I really enjoyed being with him that first time, and I guess he just…eroded my walls?”
“But you still want a child?” she asked.
“Of course I do. But Kason isn’t wavering, and I…”
“Enjoy being around him too much?” Stacey smiled.
“Yeah,” I said, smiling.
“Hanna’s got a crush. Hanna’s got a crush,” she chanted.
“I mean, have you seen him? I’ve practically drooled over him since middle school!”
“I know! Which is why I want all the details!”
“Well, we’ve sort of been sneaking around and using the internship as a cover. I mean, the internship is happening, but we’ve slowly been signing papers over lunch dates just in case someone catches us coming or going from them. You know, so they don’t get suspicious.”
“I’ve never known Hanna Rendon to be that concerned with what people think,” she said thoughtfully.
“Well, my brother’s practically about to blow a gasket about it and our age gap is probably startling to some people.”
“Eh. I didn’t really think about that. But still!”
“Anyway, we’re sort of sneaking around. And god, Stace…he’s incredible in bed. No man has ever done to me the things he can.”
“Uh huh.” She smirked. “And what exactly does he do?”
“For one, he’s big. I mean massive. And god, it feels so good when he pounds me into the mattress.” I sighed. “And he’s commanding. He loves telling me what to do in bed, and he’s the only guy I’ve ever been with who can make me come multiple times.”
“Oh god, those are the best sessions.” Stacey sighed.
“Does Brad do that to you?” I asked.
She smiled. “We found our way to it.”
“Anyway, it’s awesome, being with him. I feel like I’m heard when I’m with him. Well, mostly.” I shrugged.
“How do you feel about all this?” she asked.
“I mean, it’s really good sex. And the internship is something I need for school. And he obviously loves what we’re doing. So all in all, it’s good!”
“I didn’t ask what you thought, Hanna. I asked how you felt.”
“And again, it’s just good sex and an internship. It’s not like I’m in love or anything.” I giggled.
Maybe? I didn’t really know. Stacey sat there and stared me down while she took a bite of her cake. For a split second, I thought maybe she could read my mind. I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt about Kason, but when I’d told her I wasn’t in love or anything, there had been a pang of guilt. Sure, I had a bit of a crush because he could wield that thick piece of man meat in bed, and sure, it was fun to sneak around and feel like we were doing something scandalous. But that was it.
Right?
Stacey sighed. “Well, I’ve got some news of my own.”
“Really? What’s going on?” I asked.
Stacey took my hands and pulled them onto the table. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and told me the one thing I never thought I’d hear during this conversation.
“The doctor has cleared me for sexual activity, so we’re going to start trying for another child in a few weeks.”
“Stacey,” I said, “are…are you sure?”
“I am. I’m positive. You know me, Hanna. I’ve always wanted to be a mom. And yeah, this last episode was devastating, but Brad and I had some tests run and neither of us are struggling hormonally or physically in any way. So, we’re going to try again.”
Tears rose to my eyes. I was honestly worried for my best friend and yet simultaneously happy for her. I wanted her to have all her dreams come true. I wanted her to have the life she and Brad had always wanted and craved. I wanted her to fill this home with children I’d pull my hair out babysitting so they could go rekindle their love for one another in a hotel for the afternoon.
“I’m so happy for you,” I whispered with tears in my eyes.
“Hanna…” she soothed.
“I’m just so worried for you, too,” I choked out.
“I’m gonna be all right,” she reassured.
“God, I hope so.”
“Do you still want a baby, Hanna? I mean really?” she asked.
I nodded. “More than anything.”
“Well, I’ve been doing some thinking since Brad essentially quarantined me from the outside world. And…if you want to have a child now, with Kason or whoever, then I’ll support you.”
“Wait. What?” I asked.
Stacey smiled. “I’ll support you.”
“But I thought—”
“I’ll blame our last conversation on my hormones and leave it at that. I know you want children and I know you’d be an amazing mother. I know you can’t stand guys and their shit sometimes. If anyone can successfully pull off the single-mother thing and raise a stable child, it’s you.”
Tears streamed down my face, and we suddenly forgot all about our cake. For the first time, someone other than my mom had told me they supported the choice I’d made for my life, and it made my soul swell with delight. It made my previous conversation with Marcus and Kason disappear. It made me want to renew the conversation with Kason altogether.
“A child is a lot of work,” Stacey warned. “But I’m sure you’ll be up to the task.”
I nodded. “I know I will be.”
“I’ve seen the way your face lights up when you talk about having a child. You don’t talk about it like it’s a fantasy or fetishize it like it would somehow make you a better and more desirable person. You really know what you’re going to get yourself into, and I support you one hundred percent.”
“God, you have no idea how much that means to me. Marcus just keeps railroading me all the time about how I’m destined for better and calls it ‘just being a mom.’ He’s making me so angry, and I just—”
“Hey, Hanna,” she said, “we all know your brother’s always been a hard ass when it comes to you. At first I was worried that maybe your mom was influencing you or something, but I can see it in your eyes even now.”
“I’m so fucking happy to hear you say that,” I said.
Stacey stood me up and embraced me for a long time, and all I could do was hold her in return. I cried into her shoulder, letting out all the emotions I’d been feeling the past couple of weeks. She held me in her kitchen and let me sob. I forgot all about the cake. I forgot about the internship. I forgot about the sex stories. My parents fell to the background and I forgot we had steaming hot coffee to drink. Everything just fluttered from my mind in that moment. I finally had someone on my side, and I wasn’t going to let her go anytime soon.
I’d do whatever it took to keep her on my side throughout this journey.
“God, you know what I forgot today?” I sniffed.
“Everything? You can be a very forgetful person.” Stacey smirked. “It’s why you love that phone calendar of yours so much.”
“I don’t think I took my birth control this morning,” I said.
“Well, you might want to get home and do that if you haven’t gotten Kason to agree yet.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, the cakes are yours.”
“And I’ll cherish them both while I stuff them in my face.”
“Thank you so much,” I whispered.
“You’re my best friend. Anytime, Hanna.”
I grabbed my coffee and we
nt back out to my car. I was sure Kason would call sometime today and want to see me. The last thing I needed was a lag in my protection since we weren’t using condoms. He hadn’t yet agreed to give me a baby, and while I planned to reopen the conversation sometime soon, right now I needed to get home and get the pill into my system before I did anything else.
I pulled into my driveway and burst into my home. Then I took the stairs two at a time and threw the door open to the bathroom. I dug through my drawer and found the little package of pills, but when I threw it open, my eyes widened and I filled with panic.
I was four pills behind.
“Oh, no,” I murmured.
Fuck! I’d forgotten my pills for four fucking days? Damn it! Oh my god. Kason was going to kill me. He was going to think I’d done it on purpose. If I got pregnant, he was never going to forgive me. He was going to make my life a nightmare and—holy shit, I couldn’t believe I’d fucking forgotten!
In a frenzy, I popped out all four and tossed them in my mouth. I chugged them down with some coffee and looked at myself in the mirror. A wave of panic rushed over my body. Kason wasn’t going to want to be with me anymore if he knew I had been behind on my pills.
So, I just needed to keep him entertained and distracted by other things until these pills worked their magic.
Chapter 24
Kason
“Hello?” I asked. My phone had been ringing off the hook all damn morning, and I was pissed that it had woken me up for a third time. I’d been having quite a nice dream about little Hanna Rendon, and fuck if someone was interrupting me.
“Kason, it’s Brad.”
“What?”
“Look, I know I’m the CFO and you left me in charge for the month, but this prototype that was supposed to be sent out Monday still isn’t done being built. We need you back.”
I sat up in bed and ran a hand through my hair. I could’ve blown through the roof at that moment. Why the fuck was I finding out about this forty-eight hours after it had to be in people’s hands?
“Why am I just now hearing about this?” I asked.
“Because I put a rush on it thinking that would work, but I went to check on it this morning and they’re still projecting a finish date of as late as Saturday.”
