“We need to get her sitting down,” said Sloane. “Resting.”
“I’ll do it,” said Riley, shoving his big body between them so that Sloane had to step away from Sophie.
She said nothing about his proprietary behavior. The two of them had just been through hell together. If he wanted to care for her, so be it.
Sloane went to Lucas, where he was talking to Bella, Victor, and Gage. “We need to roll.”
Lucas gave Bella an expectant look. Bella sighed and said, “Gage and I are staying. We need to make sure this Lorenzo asshole is taken care of.”
Sloane didn’t like it. “I’ll tell you what I told Lucas. They’re going to be on high alert. It’s too dangerous.”
“Gage saw how many men were left. We can take them.”
“How many?” she asked.
“Ten,” said Gage.
“For now. You know that man’s going to have reinforcements coming. He’s got drug labs in the area. All he has to do is call those men in.”
“He’s weak now. Off balance. It will take a while before reinforcements arrive. We can take him out.”
“And what about the safe room, Bella? You said yourself he could be in there for days.”
“We’ll wait,” said Gage.
Lucas put his hand on her arm. “Let them go, Sloane.”
She looked at him. “You want to go with them, don’t you?”
“I do, but right now I think Gina needs to be our primary concern. You and I can keep her safe. She’s going to need you to convince her to stay in protective custody once it gets boring, and I really don’t want to leave you alone. At least not until we’re out of the country. Besides, the fewer of us there are here, the less likelihood there is that Soma’s men will spot us.”
Sloane looked up at Bella, who was easily six feet tall in her combat boots. Her gray eyes were twinkling with anticipation.
“You know you don’t need my permission to do anything,” said Sloane.
“I know, honey. I also know that this is your show. If you feel better having us escort your friend home, then we’ll go with you.”
“But you’ll come back,” Sloane guessed.
“Hell, yeah. I’m not about to let this drug-dealing, woman-abducting low-life scum roam free on my planet.”
Gage lifted a brow at Bella. “Your planet?”
“I’m a bit possessive. You know this. Back off.”
Gage hid a smirk. “Yes, ma’am.”
“So what do you say, Sloane? Are you woman enough to let us have all the fun while you babysit your friend?”
“The last thing I want is to spend one more minute in this jungle. Go ahead. Knock yourself out.”
Bella grinned. Gage looked more like he was getting ready to clean a Dumpster with his own toothbrush.
Sloane walked away to let them plan. She needed to leave them the Rover, which meant they were all going to have to pile into the other vehicle. Six people would to be a tight fit, but they’d make it work.
She looked at Lucas, who had remained suspiciously quiet through the whole conversation. “I’m surprised you didn’t beg to go, too.”
“We’re not out of the woods yet. We still have to get to that airstrip up north to catch our flight to Brazil. Soma could have men set to guard our exit.”
She wasn’t sure how smart she was to put her feelings on the line like this, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “I’m glad you decided to stay with us. I like having you around.”
His fingers slid through hers. There was no privacy here, but his touch still sent wicked shivers through her nerves. She remembered how those fingers had felt moving over her skin, how he knew just where to touch her to make her fly apart.
Her hand tightened in his, and for a brief, crazy moment she wanted to keep him. Forever.
He pulled her to a stop. She laid her cheek against his shoulder, breathing in his scent. She stepped as close as she could get, placing her feet alongside his big, booted ones so their thighs touched. All the gear strapped to their bodies denied her his warmth, but she remembered exactly how it had felt to be naked in his arms.
She would always remember it, even if she tried not to.
His hand slid up her arm until he cupped the back of her neck in his wide palm. She knew her friends were watching—she could feel them stare. She just couldn’t bring herself to care. Let them look. Her time with Lucas would be over in just a few hours. She was going to enjoy every second of it to the fullest for as long as she could.
“Sloane,” he said. “I think we should talk about—”
She covered his mouth with her finger, cutting him off. “No. Don’t spoil it. We both know the score.”
He looked down at her, his dark blue eyes catching flickers of light from nearby. “But the things I feel for you . . .”
“Are temporary. Once we’re back to our real lives and the adrenaline wears off, so will this thing between us.”
He touched her face and it was all she could do not to close her eyes and let the world go.
“What if it doesn’t?” he asked.
Sloane knew better. Feelings as powerful as those she had for Lucas didn’t last. They couldn’t. She’d never survive wanting someone in her life every day as much as she wanted him. It was bound to go away.
At least she hoped so. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life getting over Lucas Ramsey, though part of her wondered if it wasn’t already too late.
She knew he had to go to his family. Even though he wasn’t looking forward to it, he was too good a man to turn his back on them. It was one of the reasons she loved him.
Love. There it was. Pure and simple, too obvious for her to deny. Somewhere along the way she’d fallen for him. All the way.
And because she loved him, she’d never tell him. She’d never make his decision to leave her harder on him than it already was. He had enough to deal with in his life without her adding any extra baggage.
Sloane went up on her tiptoes and kissed him good-bye. She didn’t tell him that was what she was doing, but in her heart, she knew it was time.
She held nothing back. She let her love for him swell inside her for this one brief moment, giving in to the need to surround herself with it, to revel in the joy of loving a man for the first time in her life. Her heart was nearly bursting and she felt tears slide down her cheeks.
And then, when she could hold no more, she pulled away, lingering at his mouth for as long as she dared.
She turned her back on him and went to gather the others. Their time in the jungle was over and she needed to put it all behind her. She had to move on. For the sake of both of their hearts.
Chapter 25
Lucas found out from the guard posted at Gina’s hospital room that Sloane was staying in the hotel down the street. He knocked on her hotel room door, anxious to see her again. They’d been apart for only a few hours, but after the last few days of being constantly side by side, that felt like a lifetime.
He’d been so busy getting debriefed by General Norwood that he hadn’t had a moment to spare since they’d touched down in Houston early this morning. Now he was a free man, his obligations fulfilled—at least with the general.
Sloane opened the door a couple of inches. The security lock was engaged, making him wonder if she wasn’t still a little jumpy from the whole ordeal in Colombia.
“Hi,” he said, feeling lame and awkward, like a kid at his first dance.
“Hi.” There was no warmth in her tone. It was flat, almost cold.
“Are you going to let me in?” he asked.
She hesitated long enough that he began to worry. Surely she wasn’t going to throw him out of her life now that they were back home. He knew they had some things to work out, and he knew she had her reservations, but he was counting on his powers of persuasion to see her through that.
There was more between them than just circumstances. He didn’t know how much more, but he sure as hell wanted to find o
ut.
Sloane shut the door long enough to disengage the lock, then reopened it. She was dressed in a white bathrobe. Her dark hair was damp and tousled about her face. She had circles under her eyes and a slight sunburn on her nose. Scrubbed clean like this, she looked younger, more vulnerable than he was used to seeing her.
Or perhaps it was just the fact that for the first time since they’d met, she wasn’t armed.
Her voice was as chilly as the room, which she’d apparently decided to air-condition the hell out of. “What do you want, Lucas?”
Her curt question took him aback. “To talk. To be with you.”
“I need to get back to the hospital. I’m just here to get cleaned up.”
“Gina’s sleeping. I just checked on her. And she’s got an armed guard at her door.”
“She’s still my responsibility until my father arranges for her protective custody.”
“He’s already on that, but it’s going to take a few hours.” Maybe even a day or two. Lucas was counting on using that time to see where he and Sloane stood, because he knew she wouldn’t leave her friend’s side until she was safe.
Based on her greeting, he guessed they weren’t on the same page.
She sagged onto the bed as if she weighed an extra hundred pounds. “Just say what you need to say and go.”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you acting so cold?”
“I’m trying to make this easy on both of us. I really wish you’d respect that and go.”
“I don’t want to go. I want to give us a shot.”
She closed her eyes and swallowed as if trying to compose herself. “There is no us.”
“There sure as hell was. I didn’t imagine that.”
“No,” she admitted quietly. “But it’s over now. We both have our real lives to lead.”
“So I was just a mistake? Or was I simply a convenient fuck to distract you from how shitty things were in Colombia?”
“Neither, Lucas. Please. Just stop. You’re making things worse.”
“Worse than the two of us walking away from each other? ’Cause that’s pretty fucking horrible from where I’m sitting.”
Sloane clutched the top of her robe closed, and the protective gesture was not lost on Lucas. She was feeling vulnerable right now. He got that. He was feeling a little raw himself.
“Where do you see us going?” she asked him, her green gaze as direct and demanding as her father’s had ever been.
“I don’t know, but don’t you want to find out?”
“No. I don’t have to go through the pain to know how it will end. We’ll either try to make a long-distance relationship work, which won’t be enough for either of us, or one of us has to give up something big—something too big not to cause resentment. If you don’t help your family, you’ll regret it. The guilt will eat at you until you figure out I’m the reason and start hating me. Or I give up the job I love and become bitter because it’s the only thing I have worth getting up for every day.”
The obvious subtext being he wasn’t enough to fill that void. Not that he blamed her. He’d felt the same way every day between the time he was discharged and the night he met Sloane. Making her feel useless and unnecessary like he had was not something he could do.
He loved her too much to destroy her like that.
And suddenly everything came into perspective. She was right. He couldn’t be with her. He couldn’t hold her back. She had a fantastic life to lead, and as much as it tore him up to not be with her, letting her go was the right thing to do.
But the only way he could let go of her was if he had one more chance to hold her. He needed something to take with him when he went back home—something to keep him going until he found a nice, quiet hometown girl to settle down with. He was a good man—a little battered and bruised, maybe, but good. There would be another woman out there who he could make happy. She might not be as exciting and sexy as Sloane, but few people in this world were. He would learn to settle.
“I’ll go,” he told her, taking her hands in his so he could pull her to her feet. “But I want one kiss good-bye. Then I’ll leave and I won’t bother you again.”
She looked uncertain, but she nodded. A damp lock of hair fell over her cheek and he brushed it back behind her ear. Her skin was so silky smooth, still warm from her shower. He tried to memorize the feel, but knew his memories would never compare to the real thing.
He stepped close, feeling the knot in the tie of her robe press against his stomach. He was hard and aching, which he’d come to accept as normal whenever they were alone together. But he didn’t want to taint these last few minutes by having her ward off his advances, so he was careful to keep his erection to himself.
He cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her. She was so warm and sweet, and went straight to his head. The feel of her lips and tongue responding to his drove him crazy until he was shaking from the force it took to remember his intent.
This was just a kiss good-bye. Nothing more.
His arms tightened around her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders. She was breathing harder now, or maybe that was him.
Her soft sound of yearning filled his mouth, and he drank down the cry, so he could hold it inside himself forever. She was the woman he wanted. She made him feel whole and strong and needed when she let him hold her like this, when he ignited her desire with a mere kiss.
“I wish I didn’t want you,” she whispered between biting kisses.
A little part of him shriveled up at her words, but the rest of him reveled in her physical reaction. Even if she didn’t want him for the long haul, at least she wanted this much of him.
“Take off your clothes,” she ordered.
Lucas was torn between wanting it as much as she did, and wanting to leave her unfulfilled and horny. Maybe if she wanted him enough, she wouldn’t push them apart.
But in the end, he couldn’t deny her. His own need was raging hot and furious, and the idea of leaving her aching was more than he could stand.
He pushed her hands away from the hem of his shirt and ripped it over his head. He pulled the tie of her robe. The knot slipped free and his fingers found smooth, warm skin. His hands fit perfectly in the curve of her waist.
She shrugged the robe from her shoulders, baring herself to him. The sight of her in the daylight, beautifully naked and unashamed, was almost more than he could stand. The glimpses he’d had before were painted in shadows, mysterious and intriguing. Now, here, in the bright light of day, he could see everything. Her nipples were a dusky pink. She had a sprinkling of freckles across each shoulder. Small nicks and scratches marred her skin, along with the bandage on her arm. Every glowing curve, every shaded hollow called to him. Even the small imperfections excited him, making her seem more real and less unreachable.
“You’re making me nervous,” she said.
“I can’t help but stare. You’re so beautiful.”
A wicked smile lit her face and she splayed her hands across his chest. “So are you.”
Lucas closed his eyes, soaking in the feeling of her hands touching him. He didn’t want to think about how this would be the last time they touched—he didn’t want that knowledge to taint the time they had now. There was little enough of it as it was.
Her fingers went to his jeans. She was rushing things. Then again, Sloane was always rushing things with him.
He covered her fingers to slow her down, and walked her back until she bumped into the bed. That wicked smile widened and she kind of melted down to sit on the bed in a move so graceful he wasn’t sure how she’d managed it. She was on eye level with his stomach and her clever fingers were outmaneuvering his.
“This has potential,” she said, lifting her eyes up to look at him.
Lucas nearly lost it right there. She was naked, unzipping his jeans, looking up at him like he was something good to eat, and all rational thought left his head.
This was not what he had planned, but God help him, h
e couldn’t remember what his original plan had been. All he knew was that Sloane wanted him. It was more than enough.
She worked his cock free of his jeans, shoving them down a few inches to get them out of the way. Her fingers curled around him, holding him nice and tight while her mouth slid over the tip.
Lucas sucked in a huge breath and held on to her head to steady himself. His heart hammered inside his ribs and a fine sweat broke out over his body. Her tongue swirled around him while her lips slid down another slow inch.
He was going to lose it right there. He was going to come and lose his chance to do this right.
She deserved better than that.
He gripped her hair in his fists and pulled his hips away to stop her. She opened her rosy lips to say something he was sure would only turn him on even more, so he covered her mouth with his and kissed her as he pushed her down to the bed.
She hummed her approval and stroked his back, splaying her legs wide so he had room to settle between. Lucas kissed his way down her neck, nipping at her collarbones as he passed before moving on down to her breasts. She arched up, offering herself to him, telling him with her noises just what she liked.
He could feel the wet heat of her against his stomach. Her hips were squirming beneath him, rubbing herself against him while she clutched at his head. His fingers slid through the dark curls between her thighs until he felt her slick center. He slid a finger inside her, driving a moan from her that made his head spin with a giddy sense of power. A second finger made her fingernails dig into his scalp, leave stinging marks behind.
He could hardly wait to see how she was going to react when he got his mouth on her.
Sloane knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew she was leading him on, but she couldn’t seem to stop. Not with Lucas.
Once he was in her room and the door had shut, she knew she was a goner. He seemed to fill the space, and without him around, her world was a bleaker, duller place.
And now he was here, loving her with his mouth and hands, driving feelings from her body she’d never known she was capable of before him.
Rather than think about after, she gave herself the moment—let herself rejoice in the feeling of being the sole focus of his attention. The man knew how to touch, how to tease, when to pull back and when to give her more. She hadn’t even needed to tell him. He just knew.
Living on the Edge Page 27
