“You’re not really a medic. How did know where to put the pain medicine in me?” Karr asked.
“I read the records of current patients when I was deciding what job I wanted on the ship,” she said.
“I’m an intuitive. I know that’s at least partially a lie. Since you didn’t hurt me, I guess it doesn’t matter. Why do I feel like I know you? Who are you?” Karr asked.
She must have found his question funny because she laughed, her eyes crinkling again as she set about removing the previous bandage.
“Congratulations, Ensign Karr. You’re moving from gauze pads to skin bandages this time. You’ll be back to normal in a few more days,” she said.
“You didn’t answer my question, Ensign Morphius.” Karr watched her duck her head.
Her expression went from amusement to pain-filled and something in his gut clenched. He wanted to banish that look, could actually feel himself being sucked into caring again. No wonder his captain didn’t trust him. Shades of Kellnor, apparently he couldn’t trust himself anymore. The new ensign just looked back at him calmly, like she had no idea about the emotional turmoil she had churned up inside him.
“As you’ve no doubt guessed, I’m one of the new ensigns Captain Synar hired. I hear he’s rather upset with you, but no one will talk about it. How did you get injured?”
“Taking an unnecessary risk,” Karr said, studying her suddenly quivering fingers as she worked on his wound. “Are you afraid of me, Ensign Morphius? Your hands aren’t steady.”
“No. I am most certainly not afraid of you,” Ensign Morphius replied, keeping her gaze from the too curious male she worked on. “And you didn’t answer my question either. If the risk was unnecessary, why did you take it? It looks like your action landed you in a great deal of trouble and resulted in a slow healing wound.”
Karr leaned his head back, looking away from her at last. He had no reason to be so fascinated with her anyway. “Someone I cared about was being hurt. I reacted to try and stop it without thinking of the consequences. She was hurt anyway. It was a stupid thing to do.”
She was quiet for so long that Karr wondered if she’d been listening.
“Sounds like a very brave thing to me,” she said finally, brushing on the skin covering while Karr flinched. “I know. It burns, doesn’t it?” Leaning down, she blew across the wound sealant she had just applied. When she raised her head again, it was to see Karr staring at a point near her ear.
“Karr, I wish you wouldn’t look at me that way,” she whispered, shaking her head at his dazed expression.
Confused at the battle going on between his mind and his senses, Karr lifted a hand to touch her face only to drop it again when Synar’s greeting interrupted them. His captain rolled a service table across his lap and slapped a portable com down on it.
“Here. Sign this,” Synar ordered.
“What am I signing?” Karr asked, swallowing past the muscles clenching in his throat.
“It’s your new service contract. At this point, it’s either keep you or kill you. You know too much,” Synar said.
Two sets of shocked gazes met his. A laugh escaped even though Synar had promised himself that he wasn’t going to let Karr off so easily.
“Sir? Why would want to keep me? You put a ship arrest monitor on me,” Karr said.
Synar fixed a determined gaze on Karr. “Given how invested you seem to get in every situation these days, the monitoring bracelet was a precaution. It was the only deterrent I could think of to keep you away from a situation that had to be worked out without your bravely stupid interference.”
“What situation was that, sir?” Karr asked, fear speeding up his heartbeat.
“Nothing you need to worry about now. I guess I do need to tell you that the Allurean you almost got killed trying to save is dead. Sorry to deliver such bad news, but that’s just how it is. If you want some grief counseling, I can send Zade by later,” Synar said.
“No offense, Captain, I know she isn’t dead,” Karr said, setting his jaw against the temptation to just go along with what Synar was saying until he could secretively find out for himself. But that wasn’t how he was going to handle things from now on. He was not keeping any more secrets from his superior.
“There are many unpleasant truths about serving the Peace Alliance, Ensign. One of them is that you have to accept the words of your higher officers over your intuition. The Allurean is dead, Karr. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. Ever. Am I making myself clear?”
“Not really, sir,” Karr said.
“Look,” Synar said, dragging a seat to sit near the still too idealistic male. “I’m trying my best to give you the kind of environment on this ship where you can thrive. I even brought a trio of Siren escorts onboard for you. They’re just a backup in case you don’t get along with one or more of the new female ensigns I hired at your request. Picky or not, even you ought to be able to find one among them that you favor.”
Karr remembered the female near him then and turned in time to see her staring blankly at a far wall. Instead of being flushed with embarrassment, her face was completely devoid of color. Worse, her eyes were flat with no expression at all. By her ear, he saw that tiny speck of blue again. Shades of Kellnor, he really wanted to know what that spot was.
“Captain Synar is referring to the fact that I told him I wasn’t interested in bonding with Siren escorts,” Karr said, addressing the comment to her. “I’m sorry if we’re embarrassing you with this discussion. We haven’t had a lot of females around. Our sensibilities are dulled.”
To his amazement, Ensign Morphius bowed her head and laughed. Again, amusement completely transformed her face. She might just be the loveliest female he’d ever seen.
“You might want to reconsider that decision about the Siren escorts. I hear they’re very talented,” she said.
Karr watched her lift the solution tray and paint a second skin bandage over the first. “It burns. Blow on it again,” he ordered, even though it didn’t hurt at all this time. He just wanted her to bend closer.
“You’re acting very bossy for someone who’s about to lose his commission on this ship,” she said, bending down to do as he asked. “The captain is still here, Karr.”
Karr looked closely at the dot of blue as she leaned over the wound. It was so small that he still couldn’t tell what it was. When she raised her head from her task, she moved away too quickly. Frustrated, he turned back to his task.
Monitoring bracelet jingling loudly on his wrist, Karr pulled the portable com toward him. He didn’t look at his captain until he read the first line and lifted his gaze in shock.
“Lieutenant? You’re promoting me to lieutenant?”
Synar shrugged. “I put you in for it before your lapse in judgment. I figure you need a higher incentive to get your act together. I’m not exactly known for my leniency toward my higher ranked officers.”
Karr swore and closed his eyes. “Sir—you have to know that I felt I had no choice. If you’d just tell me where the Allurean is now, I think I could move past this obsession and be able to find my sanity again. No offense, Captain. But I have to know where she is.”
A snorting female voice interrupted his pleading. “I thought you said you were an intuitive.”
Karr swung back to see Ensign Morphius glaring at him from where she stood at the bottom of his medical table. Karr shook his head. Were all females so hard to understand?
“Did I wrong you in another life that you have to mock my emotional pain, Ensign? The female was helpless and lonely. And yes—I came to care for the Allurean when I didn’t know who or what she was. Everyone can tell me she is okay, or dead, until Helios freezes, but I’m never going to accept either of those realities until I see her again with my own eyes.” He tapped his chest hard, wincing as he hit the edges of his wound. “I feel her still—in here. She is not dead. She lives.”
To Karr’s astonishment, the ensign crossed her arms and glared
again. Was her heart made of stone?
“I don’t think you’d know the female even if you saw her,” she declared.
Unwilling to play their game any longer, Synar growled a warning that had them both looking at him. “I get enough petty bickering from the rest of the crew. We are not starting your lieutenant commission this way, Karr. Ask the new ensign for her first name and then say goodbye to her until we finish our business. You can verbally bash each other when I’m not around.”
“Sir?” Karr asked, favoring his superior with a glare. He couldn’t help it. He was tired of not getting answers.
Synar glared back. “Follow my orders, Lieutenant, or consider your new contract and your promotion rescinded.”
“Fine,” Karr said tightly, turning his gaze to the female who still had her arms crossed. It was obvious from her frown that she was brooding over something he’d said or done. Surely, she couldn’t be that mad at him for asking her to blow on his wound.
“What is your first name, Ensign? Once I sign this contract, I’m going to outrank you. I’ll write you up for insubordination so you might as well answer me now.”
“I’m not sure I want to tell you my name,” she said
“You will do as I ask,” Karr ordered, a bit shocked to hear himself being so forceful with her. What was his problem? She was young. This might even be her first commission. He looked to the ceiling and sighed at his churning gut. Then he swore in the language of the people who raised him.
“So I should tell you my name just because you outrank me?” she challenged.
“No, you should tell me because I . . . ,” Karr stopped, froze, and realized what had been on his tongue to say. Unbelievable. “You smell like her. Dayena? Is that really you?”
His gaze raked her looking for some similarity.
“No,” she said firmly. “I have no idea who that female is.”
“I-eeta then,” Karr declared.
“No, that mythical female is dead. Did you not hear your captain?”
When she glared harder, Karr sighed. “Please tell me your name then. I swear by the Creators that I must know it or die of longing.” The muscles in his gut unclenched as her arms came uncrossed.
“Very well. My name is Zoa. It is the name my parents gave me,” she said softly.
“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person. What happened to your feathers, Zoa?”
“They take a long time to grow back,” she said.
“My new contract is for three years. Will I see them in that time?” Karr asked.
Karr smiled at her until she relaxed and nodded. Beneath his covers his body came alive with hope. Embarrassment over his emotional reactions totally gone now, he pulled the portable com forward again and signed the contract without reading the rest.
“You didn’t even look at the damn details,” Synar complained. “It took me two days to create that document.”
“Doesn’t matter what you offer me, Captain. I accept the commission. I’ll serve wherever you want me to on the ship. All I really care about is being where Zoa is,” Karr said.
“That’s too bad, Lieutenant. What’s going to happen to all those other female ensigns?” Synar demanded, scooping the com up.
“I can’t fix all your problems, sir. Why are you giving me a second chance? I know you better than that,” Karr said.
Synar straightened, the signed contract in his hand. “Because any male willing to step in front of a laser weapon he knew damn well was armed to kill deserves one. Get Chiang to take that monitoring bracelet off and report to Warro when you are well enough. They need some help in Engineering. I will want you back on the bridge eventually.”
“Aye, Captain. I won’t let you down again,” Karr said.
“Sure you will,” Synar said, laughing at Karr’s earnestness. “Just know that next time you mess up, I’m going to task Commander Jet with adjusting your attitude.”
“Your threat is completely understood, sir. No more messing up.”
Karr smiled as his captain bowed his head, leaving him alone with Zoa at last.
“You look absolutely amazing,” he said, his gaze taking in all of her again.
She was every fantasy he’d ever had of a female, barring that haunted expression she too often wore. He would just have to find a way to change that.
“How is so great a change possible, Zoa?”
“We will have lots of time to discuss my biology,” Zoa said. “And if you wish to pursue our other connection . . . ” She stopped struggling to find words when Karr laughed. “What is so amusing?”
“You look way younger than me, but in reality you’re a whole lot older, aren’t you?” Karr asked.
“Not that old, really. I think I’m about the same age as Ania Looren. Among my species, only a few are born with the gift of eternal life. We never age or die unless we take steps to do so. Some very ancient ones took their own life just to end things eventually. I was planning on that when we met,” Zoa explained.
“I think somehow I knew that. I think that’s why I was willing to do anything to protect you. The thought of your death was impossible for me to accept,” Karr said.
“Karr, the ones that died were lucky. Most of those missed the days of hunting. Because of the few of us, all my people were tortured and killed. It is a torment I can never forget. If I am the last of my kind, my death will end the cycle.”
“How long have you been a prisoner?” Karr asked, sliding from the bed and testing his legs. He really should have been walking more.
“Of the Peace Alliance? Or before them?” Zoa asked.
Karr sighed at that truth and walked to her. No wonder her gaze was filled with pain all the time. He lifted her arm. The prison mark was so faint, it was almost unreadable. “I take it they re-branded you each time you made it go away.”
“Yes,” Zoa answered. “The last three versions were all from the Peace Alliance. I managed to remove all the others before theirs.”
“I’m done with my questions for now. I start hurting when you talk about your captivity. Can I hug you?” Karr asked.
When Zoa stepped into his arms, her taut breasts pressed against the front of him. He closed his eyes at the pleasure and tried not to think about being with her. It was impossible.
“Have you ever been mated?” He needed to know who had come before him.
“Yes—once. It was long ago. I was truly young then,” Zoa said, closing her eyes. “Maz was killed trying to keep me from being taken the first time. Your defense of me when General Meen tried to—”
Karr tightened his grip when she sobbed and buried her face against his chest. Now he understood why that captive female was dead. “So that whole situation must have felt like the past happening all over again.”
“Yes. It did,” she admitted.
His protectiveness multiplied when he heard the fear in her voice. He hoped his embrace was reassuring to her. They stayed close for a long moment, not speaking at all, and he let the smell of flowers soothe him. He should have known it was her the moment he smelled her. It was just that she looked so incredibly different.
Karr’s gaze bore into hers when Zoa lifted her face to his. The haunted look was back. He really, really had to change that.
“Am I safe here?” she asked. “You can tell me the truth, Karr. Running has never been a good answer because I am hunted wherever I go. I’m staying, but I’d like to be prepared.”
Karr thought about how to reply. He wanted to make her all kinds of promises, but what if they turned out as badly as the situation with Meen. Eventually, he decided the best thing he could do was just tell Zoa his thoughts.
“Life on a Peace Alliance ship is never completely safe. To say anything else would be a lie. However, this is an amazing group of warriors. If Captain Synar has decided to hide you among us, the Guardian 13 might at least be the most decent prison you’ve ever known.”
Zoa nodded. It was the conclusion she had already drawn, but
it was good to hear Karr say the same. “Okay. I will trust your judgment in the matter.”
“Good. I like it when you trust me. I’m hoping it leads to you spending your sleep cycles with me,” Karr said, grinning when her heartbeat pounded nervously between them.
“I don’t believe I trust you that much yet,” Zoa said. “When I do this, my body regenerates in every way. All traces of previous breaches are gone from it. I am not ready to change that physical status yet. Even the idea of it makes me cringe.”
“Well, when you are ready, can I be your first breach this time—maybe your only one for at least three years?”
Zoa snickered at Karr’s pleading tone and lowered her face. She would work very hard to put her damages away. She very much wanted the life she saw in the new lieutenant’s gaze on her. “Well, that is my current intention, Lieutenant. Maybe you should consider visiting the Siren escorts until I am ready.”
Karr laughed and shook his head as he squeezed her once before easing her away.
“No thanks. I haven’t bonded with a female in nearly a year. Waiting a bit longer is not going to kill me. Want to take the evening meal with me so we can talk about normal things?”
“I would very much like that,” she said.
“Great,” Karr said. “Help me find Dr. Chiang so I can get this bracelet off. Then we can start having our new life.”
Zoa smiled at his exuberance. “I will confess that I am glad now you didn’t listen to my pleas.”
“One day you’re going to glad about a lot of things,” Karr promised, smiling back as they went in search of someone to free him.
Chapter 27
Malachi looked around the large conference room. His gaze lingered on the fully dressed General Anx before sliding to a wilted-looking Kefira listening to whatever it was her agitated father was saying to her. He could have listened in if he chose to do so, but he really didn’t like the average family dynamic. Guilt, shame, and resignation did not feel energetically as good as other negative emotions like panic, agitation, and fear. He didn’t even like to deal with Ania and Liam’s quarrelling.
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