by M. V. Kasi
His pregnant wife was sitting brazenly on a kitchen table with several packets of…drugs.
The sight shook him and then enraged him.
Sia was holding the small white pouch with one hand, trying to crush it and tear it open while grimacing.
“Stop!” he literally bellowed, making her jump and spill some of the powder on her dress.
“What the—?”
“How dare you even think of such things when you are carrying a child,” he hissed and tore the packet away.
He dragged her up from the chair, and then headed to the kitchen sink to wash her hands.
She tried to pull back her hands, but he didn’t let go until that vile powder was washed away.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she snapped at him.
“I should ask you that! I was right about you. I’m not leaving your side until my child is born,” he spit out.
She looked shaken. Both at the statement and the utter furiousness on his face while he delivered that mandate like a death sentence.
‘Good’, he thought.
“You c-can’t be by my side always,” she gasped.
“Let her go right now! What do you think you are doing,” her friend Anjali exclaimed, clearly agitated on behalf of her friend.
He gave Anjali a cold look. “I don’t know you very well. But let me tell you that it is not okay for her to take drugs. Do you understand me?” he warned.
Both the women wore identical shocked expressions. “Drugs!” they exclaimed in unison.
“Yes. And I know they are supposed to be ‘relaxing and cool’. But not for you. Never for you while you are carrying my child,” he growled at Sia.
“That wasn’t drugs, you fool. Now let me go!” she commanded.
He hesitated a while before letting go of her hands. “What’s that powder in those small packets then?” he asked as a small doubt crept into his mind.
“Smelling salts for nausea. I was trying to smell the crushed capsule inside. To soothe my churning stomach!”
He picked up one of the suspicious looking packets and read the ingredients list. He even tore one of the packets to smell and confirm. And when he smelled the ammonia, he relaxed.
Then he looked at her calmly. “I’m sorry for misunderstanding the situation. When I saw you with those small packets after your friend looked so worried, I assumed things,” he stated.
Anjali looked upset. “Of course I’m worried! You clearly don’t like her, and you must also want to make her life miserable! You have no idea how Sia had to overcome—”
Sia interrupted. “I’m fine Anjali.”
“No, you are not. That man more or less grabbed you and pushed you around. How can you even think of living with him under the same roof!”
“He thought I was taking drugs and harming my child. He didn’t hurt me. I’m fine. I promise,” Sia said quietly.
Ajay raked his fingers though his hair. God, his newly wedded wife sounded like a poster child of domestic abuse victim who defended a violent husband’s actions. But she must know that he reacted that way to protect his child.
“No Sia. He grabbed—”
“Anjali, you know quite well that I’m strong enough to handle most men. I wouldn’t let anyone push me around,” Sia stated.
Anjali seemed to relax slightly. “True. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay here for a while? I—”
“I’m fine Anjali. I’ll call you if I need anything.”
Anjali nodded grudgingly and left. But not before giving him a dirty look.
He knew he had to apologize to his wife. “Sia—”
Before he could complete the sentence, she slapped her hand on her mouth and ran past him with an alarmed expression on her face.
Worried, he followed behind her.
When he reached the heavy, open bedroom door, he hesitated briefly. But when he heard her distress, he continued inside following the noises towards her bathroom. The door was open and he heard the toilet flush.
Sia was sitting on the bathroom floor with her forehead resting on her arms placed on the toilet seat. Her face was a little pale and she was panting slightly.
Not wanting to stand uselessly, he went towards her.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She groaned. “Go away. Just let me die in peace.”
A reluctant smile broke on his face at seeing the normally calm woman saying something as dramatic as that statement.
“You’re not dying. You’ll be fine. Here, take my hand and get up.”
She looked too weak to argue, after her body had probably expelled every morsel of food in her stomach.
Taking his hand, she stood up slowly. Her hand felt cold and clammy in his large, warm ones.
“Are you still feeling sick?” he asked.
“No. There is nothing remaining inside to throw up.”
“Good. Then why don’t you clean up and have something to eat,” he suggested.
“Don’t talk about food,” she groaned.
“I think you should have something. You look pretty bad.”
“Thanks,” she said dryly.
“I meant you look really sick and quite tired.”
“Again. Thanks. It’s what every woman dreams of hearing from her newlywed husband.”
He smiled at her lame, dry joke. He was one of the few people who actually understood her dry, dark humor. Most of the people, like the security crew who had worked at her home and her stores took the literal meaning of her jokes.
She took a deep breath and shrugged. “Apparently morning sickness is sort of an aversion towards potentially harmful foods. It is the body’s way to preserve the wellness of the mother at a time when the immune system is naturally suppressed. It’s not a disease,” she said, rattling out the information she probably read after she conceived.
“I see. That’s good to hear. Maybe while I’m living here with you, I should read up some articles or books on what to expect as well,” he said.
Sia’s expression changed immediately. As though she realized something important.
“You are in my bedroom,” she stated abruptly with slightly widening eyes.
“Yes. I am.”
“I don’t want you to ever enter my bedroom without my explicit permission,” she told him.
He looked at her calmly. “You were in distress and I wanted to check on you.”
“There is no need to ever check on me when I’m inside my bedroom. Now or in the future. Do you understand me?” she asked him in a cold tone.
“Perfectly,” he answered her.
“This is a marriage of convenience. At least for you. Because it is turning out to be pretty inconvenient for me. Especially with you barging into my private space whenever you want,” she said.
When he didn’t comment, she dismissed him. “I’ll call the maid. She can help you settle.”
“There is no need. I’ll bring in my things to one of the rooms closer to yours —”
She began to shake her head even before he even completed the sentence. “No! I have a room readied for you already. It’s on the opposite end of the house, and on the second floor. It’s larger, and it overlooks the gardens and the lake—”
“I don’t care for the view. I want to remain close to be able to help out when the baby arrives,” he said.
“No. I don’t need any help. I’ll let you know if I ever need it.”
He nodded stiffly. All his sympathy towards the woman in front of him was gone.
What did she think he would do to her? Hurt a pregnant woman who was carrying his child? She didn’t even want him on the same side or even the same level of the house. Maybe it was good thing to live that way. He didn’t think he would be able to bear her at close proximity, for long durations.
Each time he saw her, he would be reminded of her manipulation, and how effectively she had trapped him.
“I’m going out in an hour. I need the current lock code for the front door,”
he said.
She paused briefly. “But it’s our wedding day. You made appointments on your own wedding day?” she asked.
He didn’t. But he had to get out of the house to clear his head.
“What I do in my own time is none of your business. Just as what you do on your time.” He looked at her levelly. “But within reason of course. Since you are carrying my child.”
She looked irritated. “You don’t have to keep repeating it over and over, for a hundred times that I am carrying your precious child. It’s my child too, and I know my responsibilities.”
He folded his hands together and stared at her. “Do you?” he asked her levelly.
That question must have rubbed her the wrong way. “What the hell does that mean?” she asked him icily.
“It means that I hope you don’t hook up or date any other men while carrying my child.”
She was taken aback. “What?”
“Exactly what you heard. I really don’t care about what you do after my baby is born.”
“You know I don’t date. And I’m married now, even if it’s only for a brief time. If I hook up during our marriage, then it’s called cheating,” she stated.
He didn’t reply.
“Are you seeing someone special tonight?” she asked him nonchalantly.
“Why do you ask?”
“Well, you are married to me. And you think I manipulated you. Most people would think you are entitled to cheat. Even I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“Thanks for the permission. But I don’t cheat. Ever,” he gritted.
“You are going to remain celibate during the course of our marriage? Won’t that be hard?” she enquired politely as though she was enquiring about the weather.
“I don’t think it will be that long either. I’m sure you will hand over the full custody of my child within the first few months of its birth and divorce me,” he said.
“As I have said before… No way will that ever happen. Now, please leave. I will text you the lock code.”
He nodded curtly and turned to leave, when he heard her remind him again.
“Ajay, don’t ever enter my room again,” she said.
He shut the heavy bedroom door behind him and began walking towards the living room.
He felt worked up.
He swore to himself that unless it was directly concerning his child, he wouldn’t bother to ever interact with that maddening woman who was now his wife. He could attribute her mood swings to her pregnancy, but she had always been that way with him.
Blowing hot and then cold.
Yet again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SIA LOCKED UP behind Ajay and paced around her room nervously.
She had just called the maid to help out Ajay and to see to his needs. The maid sounded curious. As she should be.
It was their wedding day, and they were going to stay in separate rooms and on different floors.
She knew she had been a bitch to him when he was only showing concern at her being violently ill. She felt ashamed, and had a strong urge to find him and apologize to him. She wanted to explain. But she couldn’t.
She had often dreamt and wished she was someone nicer. Maybe someone funny or snarky. If given a chance to be normal, she could have probably been someone a little more interesting.
‘Well, too late. You can never be normal or amount to anything,’ her mind taunted.
She shook her head at those self-loathing thoughts. Dr. Patel had talked enough about curbing those thoughts, but unfortunately, she wasn’t successful in it.
Sighing in defeat, she headed towards the bathroom, deciding to take a shower to relax. And once she was in the steaming hot shower, she exhaled loudly.
The water washed away most of her tiredness, but her sins were still there to stay.
When she stepped out of the shower, she tried not to think too much about being married or having to live with another person. It wouldn’t be that bad. She had already worked out the details of how their life would be.
Ajay would stay in his part of the house and she in hers. Luckily, her home was big enough to not bump into each other often. On the weekdays, she would be gone in the morning to go to her stores, or when she was home, she’d stay in her office room to work. And Ajay would also be gone to his work for most of the day.
And over the weekends, she was sure he’d visit his friends or family, leaving her alone at home.
But after the baby was born…it would be a whole new ballgame. She wasn’t naive enough to think she could keep certain aspects of her life a secret during that time.
She shuddered, and refused to think about it. She would have to deal with it then. Simple as that.
After she finished checking all the spots her bedroom and bathroom, she lay on the bed. She wondered what kind of dream she would get that night.
Would it be the usual, there-is-someone-scary-in-my-room one?
She had been having that dream since her childhood. The dream went somewhat like this—Someone scary would approach her bed. And when she tried to wake up, she couldn’t. That person meant harm to her prone and helpless form. Irrevocable harm. Soul crushing harm.
Unfortunately, she would be frozen and absolutely couldn’t move. And the menacing person whom she couldn’t see would get closer and closer, until they were leaning over her. She would be hyperventilating with panic, but she still couldn’t open her eyes or move. She could only silently scream from the inside, trying to break the trance and wake up. Suffocating and helpless.
Or maybe it would be the other sort of dreams she had started getting during the past three years after her last attempt of suicide.
The I-am-dying dreams.
Where she would fall off a cliff.
The dream would start as a beautiful pleasant car ride along a scenic ocean. And then, slowly but steadily the car would speed up. Then it would speed up even more. In an uncontrollable way that would remove any enjoyment, and have the adrenaline rushing through the body in fear. Then as expected, there would be a cliff, and the car would go over it.
There were other variations to the I-am-dying dreams.
In one of those dreams, she would also fly high in the sky while soaring above, really tall trees. She would be quite fascinated with the view above, and the feeling of freedom and euphoria. Until the free fall.
In all the I-am-dying dreams, she would crash into something. And she would feel the impact and jerk awake, sweating and screaming.
Most of those screams were quite loud. My-throat-is-getting-slit kind of loud.
Thank god she got her bedroom soundproofed completely.
According to Dr. Patel those dying dreams were triggered by her near-death experience due to the drug overdose. And apparently, they also depicted her feeling of lack of control in her life.
It had been almost a year since she found out the reason for her other nightmares with an invisible monster. Then why was she still so messed up, even though she knew the reason? Especially when she knew who the monster was?
Even now, she still broke out in sweat, when she recalled the day she had discovered that fact.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ONE YEAR AGO
“THANK YOU FOR coming, Sia,” said a middle aged man. “I’m very sorry for your loss. You aunt was a good friend and a great person.”
Sia stood in her family attorney’s office, feeling numb inside. And it wasn’t entirely due to the cold and gloomy weather in Boston. She felt distant, like it was an out of body experience she was watching from someone else’s perspective. She knew she was supposed to feel something other than the numbness at the loss of the only person who had been her family.
Her aunt.
But her aunt and she hadn’t been that close. Her aunt had been a better boss and mentor than a caring guardian.
Sia had discovered that fact right from the time since she had been brought to Boston after being adopted at the age of nine.
We
ll, technically her aunt was her adoptive mother. But since the woman herself had insisted that she be called an aunt, rather than a mom, Sia chose to follow her instructions.
That was one of the very few things she had listened to and followed. Most of the time, she gave her aunt a tough time. And she was pretty sure that her aunt hadn’t expected someone like her when she had decided to adopt an orphan from India.
Maybe her aunt should have gone for someone younger than a nine year old girl with several issues.
“I-I’m scared, aunty. The monster is trying to hurt me.”
Sia was almost ten years old and had been living with her aunt for a year in Boston. And most nights she woke up screaming and trembling due to her nightmares.
“Sia, how many times have I told you to stop imagining things. There is nothing here, and no one is going to hurt you. Please sleep now. I have to wake up pretty early for a meeting,” said her harried looking aunt in exasperation.
“Thank you, Stephen,” Sia responded tonelessly, and shook the attorney’s hand.
“Please have a seat,” he said, and gestured to a chair in front of an ornate oval desk. “I know this must be a difficult time for you, but I didn’t want to put it off any longer. I would like to go over the terms of your aunt’s will regarding her company and estate.”
Sia nodded her head mechanically, already having guessed what the documents contained. Her aunt had threatened her enough times over the past decade or so, about cutting her off from the will.
Sia hadn’t bothered about those threats at that time, and neither did she do so now.
“You have turned out to be a huge disappointment, Sia. I can’t leave my legacy to someone like you. I have worked way too hard towards achieving all this,” her aunt said, pointing around them at the huge mausoleum like house where Sia grew up since she was nine.
Sia sat quietly, listening to her aunt’s usual rant.
“I have warned you repeatedly to give up drugs and to stop sleeping around indiscriminately, risking your own life. I’m sick of it. I have always made sure you had one of the best therapists to cure you of your hallucinations and sicknesses. I have even spent a fortune towards your education and sent you to the best schools. I don’t know what else I could have done to make you into a better human being,” her aunt said in frustration.
