Absolutely Not

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Absolutely Not Page 6

by Daisy Dexter Dobbs


  “As I was saying, Keller Fitch’s sister is the emaciated tramp I found screwing my husband. In my own house. In my own bed. John’s widow.” She reached across the table and knocked on Norman’s head. “Hello? Remember? What on earth would make you think I’d want anything to do with that vicious, vulgar woman’s brother?”

  “Oh, maybe the way I caught you drooling over him just before you found out who he is,” Norman offered, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms and looking entirely too self-satisfied.

  Maisy breathed in an audible sigh of exclamation. “I was not drooling!”

  “Are you kidding? The spittle’s still running down your chin,” Norman noted, laughing as Maisy instinctively wiped her chin before realizing what she was doing. “It’s terribly unfair of you to judge this poor guy and write him off just because his sister is an immoral reprobate.”

  He leaned in toward Maisy, motioning for her to come closer. “Remember my psychic premonition? He’s the one, Maisy.” Norman nodded with confident assurance. “I knew it as soon as I shook his hand. He’s the man you’ve been waiting for.”

  “What?! Bullshit! Absolutely not!” Nearly leaping from her chair, Maisy grabbed her purse and glared down at Norman. “That is the most ridiculous, preposterous thing I’ve ever heard. I’ll wait for you in the car.” She marched toward the restaurant’s exit.

  Royally pissed off with Norman for his meddling, buttinski performance, Maisy was even angrier with herself for being so damned attracted to the enemy’s brother.

  Just thinking about Keller brought goose bumps to her arms, which she briskly rubbed. But no amount of rubbing could change the fact that her panties had soaked just from being in close proximity to the guy. The impressive bulk of Keller’s body made her want to reach out and touch him in ways that sent shivers straight through to her clit just thinking about it.

  With that thought, she slapped the heel of her hand against her forehead. “Jeez, what in the hell is wrong with you? Just snap out of it, will you, Maisy?” she chastised aloud in the parking lot, drawing attention from passersby and not even giving a damn. “Get it through that thick noggin of yours that Keller Fitch is off limits and part of the enemy camp.”

  Evidently, Maisy’s traitorous libido had its own agenda. The lusty image flashing through her mind just before Norman reached the car was of Fitch the Bitch’s brother sweeping her into his strong arms and divesting her of her clothing. He was licking, nibbling and making her melt. Nice and slow…like a bar of fine chocolate.

  Chapter Four

  By the time Maisy got home from work, the wind howled as a blizzard whipped at the snow, depositing it in deep banks. The short but blinding drive from the office had been stressful, to say the least. Poor Hershey came back into the house looking like a snow-packed doggy snowman after she’d let him out to do his business. One of these days she’d move to a place where the winter climate didn’t coat her lungs with ice crystals when she breathed.

  Still reeling from the unexpected run-in with Keller Fitch during lunch, Maisy had merely picked at her dinner, a rarity for her. In fact, she could barely even remember what she’d eaten because she’d been so focused on the lust surging through her veins. Of all the luscious men in the world she could be attracted to, why, oh why did it have to be Fitch the Bitch’s brother?

  Dressed in fleecy layers to fight off the chill, she curled up in an oversized chair and ottoman in the living room, a soft blanket tucked from her neck to beneath her big fluffy slippers. A steamy mug of diet hot cocoa, topped with an ample amount of fat-free whipped cream, rested on the end table next to her.

  It was the perfect opportunity to escape into a romance novel, something she hadn’t done in a long while. This one was a medieval fantasy, complete with brave knights, fair maidens, dragons and ogres. It was also erotic. She’d never read an erotic romance before, but when Norman gave it to her he assured her it was a good way to learn what she’d been missing all those years that she’d been stuck with Thumbkin. He told her it was part of her ongoing process in becoming more knowledgeable and sophisticated.

  She pushed thoughts of Norman to the back of her mind. It was going to take time before she could look at him again without wanting to rip his impish face off for playing matchmaker for her and Keller. What in the hell was he thinking?

  “It would be nice to have a knight in shining armor of my own,” she mused as she read the enticing back cover blurb and sipped her cocoa. The novel sounded like a hot, sexy read. “But that isn’t real life… Ideal men only exist in fairy tales and preposterous romance novels. And ideal men don’t come equipped with malicious, bitchy sisters either.”

  The wind’s menacing, low whistle caught her attention. She had to relax, had to just give in and suspend her conscious thoughts for a while. More than anything, she had to get her mind off Keller Fitch, because there simply wasn’t any valid reason to dwell on fantasies involving him. Seriously, why torture herself with tantalizing images of something she could never have?

  “A little escapism is good,” she told herself. “Yes, getting lost in an outlandish romance novel full of sex and mystical creatures is just what I need. Plus I’ll be learning something in the process.”

  Maisy focused on the bawdy story of the medieval damsel in distress and her bold, sexy knight. She immediately found herself relating to the heroine, who was Rubenesque instead of a scrawny size zero. What’s more, the hunky hero loved her full, ripe curves, practically worshiped them.

  “Now that’s my kind of story!”

  Her eyes widened as she read of colossal cocks, spurting cum, dripping pussies, creaming cunts and all-encompassing, head-to-toe shuddering orgasms. Some of it was embarrassing, some of it was odd and all of it was explicit. The people in this novel did things—incredible things—she’d never even heard of, much less had personal experience with.

  Like multiple orgasms. During sex. With a man’s fingers, tongue, teeth or cock causing the orgasms, instead of a vibrator. She had no idea if such awe-inspiring things were possible, but she was riveted from page one.

  Oh my…the sensuous things she read about asses and their little rosebud holes and what could be done with them. And oral sex. And chainmail and bondage. It was enough to have her panting and squirming in her chair.

  By two in the morning, she’d finished the story, which had caused her to slip her hand beneath the blanket and inside her sweatpants to finger her needy clit more than once. She’d climaxed more during the time she read the book than she had in the last couple of months.

  She never would have believed it if someone had told her she could get that turned on simply by reading a romance novel. But, oh, what a book it was! Bold and kinky, it fueled Maisy’s deeply buried fantasies.

  After reading this story, it was hard to imagine going back to the almost chaste romance novels she’d read in the past. Stories featuring itty-bitty, virtuous, virginal heroines with nary a flaw, aside from the fact that they were often too stupid to live.

  As she read the sample chapter at the back of the book, highlighting the author’s next medieval-themed erotic romance, Maisy wondered what her life might be like if she had lived in those times. Yawning as she read the chapter, Maisy’s eyelids became heavy and she began to nod off…

  As she spotted the figure in the distance, swiftly riding toward her, the sunlight glinted brightly from the form and Lady Maisy felt her loins tighten. Only the shining armor of her true love, the brave Sir Keller, shone with such radiant magnificence!

  Her valiant knight was coming for her, to rescue her from John-the-tiny-cocked, the fierce ogre who kept her locked away in his terrible sex chamber filled with impotent implements that failed to satisfy her carnal cravings.

  “Ah yes, bold knight,” she whispered as the figure on horseback drew closer. “Ride quickly. Come liberate me from my torment, my living hell of orgasm-less existence. Then hold me in your strong arms and make love to me. Fuck me as no man ever has ever f
ucked me before.”

  Lady Maisy wrestled against the heavy chains that bound her to the drab gray stone wall to no avail. As her knight rode up close to the ogre’s castle, she lost sight of him, for the chains prevented her from going to the window. She sent up a prayer that her intrepid rescuer be spared any harm.

  Harshly raised voices rang out in anger, then the sickening sound of flesh hitting flesh, and, finally, the sharp clang of metal against metal.

  “Oh dear God, protect my brave knight. Give him the strength he needs to overpower the cold and callous John-the-tiny-cocked,” she cried out as the horrid noises continued for a seeming eternity.

  The clamor finally ended with a shocked gasp and cry of pain. Then Lady Maisy heard footsteps shuffling up the great stone steps and over to the ogre’s sex chamber. The heavy wooden door banged open and before her stood her tall, handsome knight, bloodied and panting. His armor was mightily dented, but, merrily, he was victorious!

  “My fair Lady Maisy,” Sir Keller said, removing his helmet. “I have slain the ogre, John-the-tiny-cocked, and have come to free you from your chains. Then I will take you in my powerful arms and fill your silken pussy with my massive iron-hard cock.”

  Lady Maisy swooned. “Nay, brave and handsome knight, I cannot wait that long to feel your magnificent manhood thrusting high and hard inside me. Take me now, whilst I am still in chains. Rip through my garments with your sword and have your way with me now, I beg of you.”

  Sir Keller’s already huge erection increased threefold, the amazing force of it finally punching right through his clothing. Ah, how proud and high his enormous cock stood, bobbing and waving its lusty intention in the fair Lady Maisy’s direction. Verily, her insides were afire with desire, and she hungered with passion so terribly it made her pretty little pink clit quiver.

  Wielding his heavy sword with great finesse, Sir Keller slit through the bodice laces of his beloved’s blue woolen gown. Her colossal aching breasts burst forth, bobbling in place, with eager nipples boldly stabbing high in the air, enthusiastic for his erotic touch.

  Verily, Sir Keller’s cock did grow by another inch just then. His sword continued to rip through her gown, down, down, down until the glistening curls atop Lady Maisy’s ravenous cunt were exposed.

  With a mere glance at the love juices coursing down her pale thighs, another inch was added to his already remarkable length.

  Only the ragged remnants of Lady Maisy’s clothes hung from her shackled arms and from her voluptuous form now. The heavy chains were draped in crisscross fashion across her snowy breasts. The harsh metal abraded her jutting, dusky pink nipples in a most scintillating manner each time she moved.

  And so, move she did, back and forth. Forth and back.

  Removal of a knight’s armor was no quick and easy task. Sir Keller went about it as quickly as possible, grimacing at the throbbing ache that taunted his ready cock.

  “Nay,” Lady Maisy said. “Worry not about your armor, Sir Keller. Take me now. Let me feel the hard steel of your mighty breastplate against my Rubenesque softness.”

  Sir Keller hesitated not. He crushed her full, supple curves hard against the cold steel that covered his chest. Her nipples beaded even harder against the chilly surface and the Lady Maisy moaned with pleasure at the erotic sensation.

  Lady Maisy’s eyelids fluttered shut for a moment as she contemplated what it might feel like to have her sensitive breasts scraped by the chainmail Sir Keller wore beneath his armor. Mmmm, yes. Such a sweet torture.

  “I have changed my mind,” she announced. “I wish you to strip yourself of your armor, but let your chainmail tunic remain intact.” Her cunt wept freely at the thought.

  “The chainmail is rough, coarse and unduly harsh, Lady Maisy. I fear it will pinch and scratch the tiny, tender pink rosebuds of your magnificent tits and cause them pain.” He leaned to kiss each delicate, beading nipple, nipping them with his teeth.

  Ahhh, yes, Lady Maisy thought, licking her lips. Pinching, scratching, scraping. Such an exquisite combination of pain and pleasure.

  “You waste time with your talking, Sir Keller… Will you not make haste and simply do as I ask?”

  “Your wish is my command,” he answered, stripping his breastplate from his well-muscled upper body. He approached her, clasping his hands behind her back and crushing her voluminous ivory tits against his chainmailed chest. Peering at the sight of delicate flesh mashed to metal, Sir Keller’s gargantuan cock twitched and he groaned.

  “My balls are heavy and my cock demands to be appeased.”

  “Yes…yes, I know, brave knight.” Moaning, Lady Maisy squashed herself hard to his chest and scraped her breasts across the woven metal, delighting in the agonizingly delicious sensation. When she’d finally had enough, she pulled back far enough for Sir Keller to see evidence of the abrasion, dappling her creamy breasts.

  “Before we have finished, you shall bathe my tortured tits with hot, soothing ribbons of your cum.”

  Forsooth, Sir Keller’s breathing became labored and he did grow yet another inch.

  “Now, my valiant knight,” Lady Maisy cried out. “Take me now. Savagely fuck my dripping pussy without mercy. Look deep into my eyes with your molten, chocolate chip eyes as you spear me with that hot, hard column.”

  Sir Keller paused a moment. “What are chocolate chips, my lady?”

  “I know not,” Lady Maisy answered. “I fear they have not been invented yet. But I deem that one day my entire world shall revolve around them.”

  With Lady Maisy’s arms and legs spread far apart in their shackles, Sir Keller had easy access to her lustrous, wet womanhood. Grasping a jiggly tit with each hand, he supported himself as he plunged his mighty cock into her, groaning as he filled her slick, silky cunt completely.

  Lady Maisy’s abundant breasts bounced against the big palms of his hands as the randy knight shoved himself high into her unquenchable pussy. As he rammed her, Sir Keller captured one expectant nipple in his mouth, torturing it exquisitely as she begged for more.

  “Indeed, I find that I relish taking you, fair damsel, in this crude, wicked manner—shackled in chains and helpless. Fortified by the lush spectacle of my fair lady, moaning and writhing against her chains, my knight’s pole of pleasure is indisputably more solid and extended than ever before. Perhaps, before we have finished, my lady will present me with the tight little rosebud nestled at her ass so I may fuck that too.”

  “Your words are like music to my ears, but I wish you now to dispense with your incessant babbling and concentrate on your fucking, Sir Keller.”

  No matter how hard and fast he shoved into her, Lady Maisy begged him for more. Higher, harder, faster. Sir Keller happily obliged by unrelentingly slamming his cock into her, bringing them both to the brink of nirvana.

  But, alas, escape into paradise was not to be, for in the next moment Sharon-of-red-cunt, the evil, malevolent witch, and widow of John-the-tiny-cocked, barged into the chamber, wholly unexpected and catching the sex-dazed knight unawares.

  Using her shoulder as a battering ram, Sharon-of-red-cunt crashed into Sir Keller, pushing him out the chamber window, cackling at him as he fell.

  The fair Lady Maisy screamed in horror as the beady-eyed witch turned toward her, licking her lips in a wild, lusty fashion.

  “Methinks ’tis time for me to finish what your knight has begun, Lady Maisy. Whisking away her skirts, Sharon-of-red-cunt uncovered an enormous wooden dildo strapped to her hips and crotch. It was certain she deemed to plunge the monstrous thing into Lady Maisy’s pussy.

  “I shall fuck you over good,” Sharon-of-red-cunt threatened. “And then use my trusty dildo to beat you senseless before I hurl you atop my dead husband, John-the-tiny-cocked…

  “No. No! Noooooo!” Lady Maisy wailed, but her brave knight had fallen to his death and there was no one left to save her.

  “Ta-da! My gay blade and I shall save you, Lady Maisy,” Norman-the-meddlesome announced as he pra
nced into the room, ladylike dagger in hand.

  “Not if I de-cock you first, you meddling matchmaker,” Sharon-of-red-cunt warned, snatching the dagger from Norman-the-meddlesome’s hand and brandishing it toward his crotch.

  “Oh…in that case, exit, stage right.” With unmatched swiftness, Norman-the-meddlesome was out the door. “See ya, Maisy,” he called as his feet pattered down the castle’s stone steps.

  “Norman, you miserable, meddling, trouble-making coward, you come back here!” Lady Maisy cried as Sharon-of-red-cunt closed in on her with a sickening cackle and malicious look in her eye.

  Forsooth, Lady Maisy was surely sunk.

  Gasping, Maisy awoke from her crazy dream. “Oh brother! I can’t even escape Keller in my dreams,” she groused. Cocking her head to the side, she half-frowned and half-smiled as she recalled the gratuitous erotic elements of her dream.

  “Chainmail, huh? Ouch.” Crossing her arms protectively over her breasts, Maisy retrieved the romance novel from the chair and gazed at the explicit cover, showing a half-dressed damsel and her sexy knight, who were clearly ready to do some serious fucking.

  “Nothing quite as wicked and kinky as Lady Maisy and Sir Keller, though.” Maisy laughed. Amazing, one read-through of her first erotic romance novel and her libido had turned wild and wanton

  “Lady Maisy,” she tsked, “you are one very naughty girl.”

  Chapter Five

  Every morning for the several days, Maisy found a little peace offering from Norman, tied with satin ribbon, on her desk. A box of low-fat granola bars, a box of fat-free devil’s food cookies, a trio of exercise videos… And each little surprise was always accompanied by an erotic romance novel.

  He’d attached little note cards to each book saying things like, Read this—this could be you…love, Norman. There was always a little smiley-face doodled next to his name.

  This morning it was a tiny potpourri sachet, embroidered with the words, Best Friends are Forever. The romance novel was titled Beloved Enemy, and the little note card read, Days have gone by and I’ve run out of gift ideas—anyway, I think I’ve groveled enough. Read this book over the weekend, there’ll be a quiz on Monday…Love, Norman.

 

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