by Jerry Cole
***
Neither one of them was sure who initiated the first kiss of the day, but after Jon had said that, it was almost impossible for either one of them to keep their hands off of each other.
“Wait,” Mark said, moving away from Jon, his hands still on Jon’s face. “Wait. This may not be a good idea.”
“Right,” Jon replied. “I should probably take a shower first.”
Mark cracked a smile before he shook his head. “You know that’s not what I meant. I actually think you smell kind of amazing. I just mean like, are you sure you want to go through with this? This is something you can’t take back, Jon.”
“Yes,” Jon said, kissing Mark again before he spoke. “I’m not going to lie and tell you that I’m not nervous because I am. I’m really nervous.”
He grabbed Mark’s hand and put it over his racing heart, on his bare chest. Mark looked at Jon’s body and licked his lower lip, something he didn’t appear to be doing on purpose. It made Jon laugh.
Mark smiled when he heard him. “Are you sure, though? Like you’re not going to change your mind? I mean, you can totally change your mind halfway through if you need to, I just meant like, later.”
“Look, if you don’t want to do this—”
“No, I really want to do this,” Mark said. “That’s the problem. What if you never want to do it again? I don’t know how I could be around you after that.”
Jon smiled, leaning over and kissing Mark’s neck. “You better make it good, then.”
Mark moaned and threw his head back as Jon continued nibbling and biting him. Jon was still keeping his hands to himself — mostly because he wasn’t sure what to do with them. He was enjoying the feeling of Mark’s skin on his lips and between his teeth. Even the way that Mark was sitting back, obviously trying to talk but unable to. Just because of Jon. He thought he would let Mark have a little break and moved away from him.
“So no pressure, then?”
“I don’t know,” Jon said, smiling. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Okay,” Mark said. “I’m going to show you how good this can be. So, you know, how about that shower?”
“You want me to go shower right now?”
“This is what I was talking about,” Mark said, kissing the tip of Jon’s nose. “I meant showering together.”
“Oh,” Jon replied, suddenly feeling self-conscious. There was something about taking this entire thing somewhere else, something about the shower. He would be way more exposed than he was on his bed. “I — I don’t know.”
“You said I had to make this amazing,” Mark replied, brushing his fingertips on Jon’s jaw. “So you’re going to have to help me. More than that, you’re going to have to trust me. Do you trust me?”
Jon thought about it for a second before he came to a decision. “Yes. Yes, I trust you.”
Mark stood up and extended his hand to help Jon up. He only hesitated for a second before he took it.
Chapter Ten
“Even your bathroom is creepy,” Mark said, as he looked around the small room. The shower and tub were obviously new, but other than that, the bathroom remained untouched. Like the rest of the house, it looked like a Victorian set piece. Mark didn’t have too much time to look around the dimly lit room, which he noticed was windowless, before he was distracted by Jon.
Jon was taking off his clothes slowly. Deliberately. Mark could see that Jon’s hands were shaking. He wanted to tell him that it was okay if he stopped, but he already had. The feeling of anticipation was almost becoming too much to handle. He hadn’t even realized just how much he wanted Jon until he almost had him. Only now, when Jon was stripping in front of him, did he realize what he had been trying to avoid.
He needed this. He needed Jon. It wasn’t just about him being there, because there had been hook-ups and other attempts at relationships after Roger. Nothing had ever felt like this.
He watched Jon hesitate for a second before he pulled his sweatpants down. Mark’s mouth watered a little when he saw the bulge in Jon’s underwear. For a second, Mark had been worried that he was the only that was truly looking forward to this, even if Jon had taken the first step. From Jon’s physical reaction, he could tell that was obviously not the case.
“You’re gorgeous,” Mark said, more to himself than to Jon. Jon still seemed to be able to hear him, because his face turned red, and he bit down on his lower lip before he looked up at Mark again.
“This isn’t fair,” Jon said, using his hands to point at himself. “Why am I the only one who is practically naked?”
“Because I want to enjoy looking at you,” Mark replied. He took another minute or so to take Jon in. He was tall, sure, but he wasn’t as lean as he usually appeared with his clothes on. He had muscles on his arms and a strip of dark hair that went from his bellybutton to below the gray waistband on his red boxers. “You should take those off.”
“I will if you at least take your shirt off,” Jon said.
“Okay,” Mark replied. “You first.”
Jon shook his head, laughing. “You are such a jerk.”
“Yeah, well, you seem to be enjoying it,” Mark said, looking down at Jon’s crotch.
Jon groaned, but he didn’t seem to actually be annoyed. He stretched out the time before he started sliding his boxers down his legs, which were thick and muscular, covered in fine black hair.
Mark looked down at Jon’s hand before he looked at his exposed cock. Hard and surprisingly big, his cock was beautiful. Mark had never really been into cocks that much—they were there, obviously, and he liked them. He liked the fact that they did their job. He liked having one in his mouth or up his ass depending on how he felt. But Jon’s cock, there was something about the way it looked, so beautiful and willing.
And there for the taking. For Mark to do whatever he wanted to it. That seemed to be what Jon wanted to, by the look on his face. Jon, who now had his hand in his face and cleared his throat. “What are you doing? Didn’t we have a deal?”
“Sorry,” Mark said, shaking his head and quickly taking his shirt off. “I’m just kind of obsessed with looking at you. Has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are?”
“Stop it,” Jon replied. “If you keep saying that, I’m going to start believing it.”
“I want you to start believing it,” Mark said. “I want to show you just how gorgeous you are. Because you are. You’re amazing.”
“Thank you,” Jon said. “You are — I can’t believe someone like you is saying something like that about me.”
“Someone like me? Do you mean ga—”
“No, oh my God, that is not what I mean at all,” Jon replied, blushing again. Mark smiled. He really loved making Jon blush. “I meant like, as good looking as you.”
Mark laughed. “You are so adorable. Okay, get in the shower. I’ll get rid of these clothes and join you in a second.”
Jon stepped into the shower and Mark got out of his jeans in record speed. He took another look at Jon’s back before he approached him slowly and put his warm hands on Jon’s waist. He took a step closer and pressed his erection into Jon’s ass, though he did it quite softly. He didn’t want to spook Jon, who, while willing, still seemed slightly apprehensive.
“We’re going to take this really slow, okay?” Mark whispered into Jon’s ear. “And if you are ever not feeling it, or want to change things up, just tell me. I want to make you feel good and I can only do that if you’re talking to me. Got it?”
Jon nodded, moaning as Mark wrapped his arms around his waist. “I got it,” Jon said in a strangled whisper.
“Good,” Mark replied. “Now hand me the soap.”
Jon laughed before he knelt down and did as he was told. Mark grabbed the bar of soap and started to wash him, first on his upper back and then his arms. He knew it would take a while, and he knew that to Jon, it probably seemed kind of silly, but it was important to him. Jon had to trust him. He had to be used to his touch and it h
ad to be intimate. He had to stop himself, several times, from actually touching Jon’s cock whenever he came close to it, until Jon was basically purring every time that Mark ran his hand down his spine.
“How are you doing?”
“So good,” Jon murmured. “So good.”
“This isn’t even the good part,” Mark said, laughing. He stood behind Jon and started to kiss from the nape of his neck all the way down his spine, until Jon was moaning and shivering under him. He kissed the curve of Jon’s ass before he got down to his knees, covering Jon’s backside in kisses, then down until he was kissing the back of his legs while he stroked the inside of them. He ran his hands softly on Jon’s body hair, just enough to guarantee that he was giving Jon goosebumps, before he got down to his knees. “If you thought that was good, you should see what I can do with your cock.”
“Can I?”
Jon was so eager. Mark hadn’t realized exactly how much he had turned him on by lightly touching him until he made Jon turn around. If he had thought he had been brimming with anticipation before they both got in the shower, he was quickly dissuaded of that idea. He was brimming with anticipation now, shiny pre-cum covering the head of his rock-hard cock.
“Yes,” Mark said before he smiled and inched closer to Jon’s cock. “God, you are beautiful.”
Jon was about to say something when Mark put the head of his dick in his mouth. He worked it over with his tongue, lightly stroking Jon’s balls as he did so. He started to speed up, holding the base of Jon’s dick tightly but not enough to make him uncomfortable. Jon was holding on to his shoulders, trying to keep himself steady. Mark hadn’t given a man a blow job in a long time and he savored it. He savored the salty taste of Jon’s precum in his mouth, mixed with the subtle scent of soap every time he got close to his pelvis. He could see that Jon was close to edge, could feel him inside his mouth. He slowly popped him up of his mouth before he looked up at Jon, whose eyes were glassy and unfocused.
“Do you want me to finger you?”
“Huh? Why did you—” Jon replied. “You want to finger me?”
“Only if you want me to,” Mark said. “You’re just so beautiful. I want — I want to have all of you.”
Jon hesitated for a second before he spoke. “Yes. Do it.”
“You’re sure?”
Jon nodded. “I want you to have all of me, too.”
Mark smiled and grabbed the bottle of conditioner that was sitting on the tub next to him. He probably wouldn’t need it, but he wanted to have it just in case he did. “It may hurt a little at first, but just relax, okay?”
Jon nodded, his mouth open and his cheeks dark. “Okay.”
Jon started to blow him again before he stroked Jon’s ass, slowly finding his way to his hole until he was inside of him. There was a little resistance at first, but Mark reassured him with kisses and his tongue, making him focus more on his dick than he was on his virgin ass. As soon as Mark found his prostate, Jon threw his head back and grabbed Mark’s hair. Hard. It hurt, but he ignored it as he continued fingering Jon and bringing him closer and closer to orgasm. He heard Jon whimper something as his ass muscles contracted and his dick throbbed deep inside his mouth, salty sticky cum choking him before he moved away and swallowed it all, his mouth still under Jon’s hard dick to catch any last drop.
He smiled at Jon’s shaking legs. Jon, who was still moaning, still crying out his name. And then, in a second, he slumped over and was sitting down right in of him, so Mark had to catch him in his arms to stop him from falling.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Jon nodded. He was pale all over now and his hand, which was around Mark’s arm, was limp. “Yes. I just — I couldn’t do anything there. I couldn’t see anything. I just — I just was. That was—”
“I’m glad you had fun,” Mark replied, trying to stop himself from laughing. He didn’t want to cheapen Jon’s experience, adorable as it might be.
“Fun? No,” Jon replied. “That wasn’t fun. That was — I don’t even know where to start. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Mark said, kissing Jon’s forehead. “I loved that. Thank you for letting me do it.”
Jon shook his head and stretched his neck. Curled up in Mark’s arms, his eyes closed and a smile appeared on his face. He looked a lot younger than he ever had before. Probably because that was the first time that Mark had ever seen Jon not be actively worried about something, he realized.
“Come on,” Mark said. “Let’s go to bed.”
“It’s the middle of the day,” Jon said quietly.
“That just means we have more time to cuddle.”
Jon opened his eyes slowly, his gaze meeting Mark’s face before he smiled and nodded.
Chapter Eleven
Jon watched Mark’s stomach move up and down as he breathed. He had only been awake for a few seconds, but his mind was already racing. He had wanted what happened in the shower more than anything. That orgasm had also been the definition of bliss. And then there was Mark. Who told him how gorgeous he was while seemingly unaware of his own over-the-top good-looks. Who didn’t even seem to care about his own needs, just in order to satisfy him. Only because he wanted to make the experience good for Jon. He had only known Mark for a few days, but already he could feel that his presence had changed everything.
He didn’t want to hold back anymore.
He kissed Mark’s cheek and mouth, letting his stubble tickle his lips. Mark’s eyes fluttered open as they slowly adjusted to the light.
“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Jon said. He was so close to Mark that he was sure Mark could feel his breath on his face, maybe even his eyelashes. He didn’t care. He wanted to be closer. “You just looked really cute.”
“S’okay,” Mark replied, rubbing his eyes and putting his arm around Jon’s shoulders. Jon nuzzled into his neck and smelled the scent of his aftershave. “You’re cute too. What time is it?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s about three in the afternoon.”
“Shit,” Mark said, sitting up. “I gotta — I have work to do.”
“Sure you do,” Jon replied. “Your work is to stay in this nice, warm bed with me until I get Marnie to bring us dinner in bed. I can have her make us lunch, especially, if you’re hungry now. I know I am, I didn’t eat breakfast.”
“No,” Mark shook his head, his eyebrows creased. “What do you mean?”
“She won’t mind,” Jon said. “Remember, she also signed that ironclad NDA, so she won’t be able to tell anyone a thing about us. Even if she disapproves, which she probably will, she can’t say shit. Plus, she needs the job.”
“What? Who the fuck is Marie?”
“Marnie. You know,” Jon said, sitting up himself and feeling a little self-conscious. “My cook? The person who makes breakfast and dinner?”
“Jesus,” Mark said, leaping off the bed and scanning around the room for his clothes. “I don’t give a flying fuck about your cook.”
“Wait, then — then why do you seem upset?”
Mark leaned down to look into Jon’s face, his fists press against the mattress, his naked body still on display. “Were you going to pay me for today?”
“What?”
“If all we did was cuddle and have sex today,” Mark said, his eyes a narrow slit and his nostrils expanded. “Would you have paid me?”
Jon wondered if it was a trick question for a second. “Yes,” he said. “I mean, of course I was going to pay you. You work here.”
“No,” Mark said, moving away from him as he found his boxers and jeans. Jon watched him fumble with them until he was finally in them, missing his button several times. “I don’t. I quit.”
“What? No —”
“I’ll come get my stuff some other time,” Mark said. “Don’t call me.”
“But — I don’t understand. What did I do?”
“You don’t even fucking know, do you? That’s the worst part. God, and to think I ac
tually really liked you. I’ll come collect my check on Friday, but start looking for a replacement.”
“Wait,” Jon said. He could barely speak from the knot in his throat. He could barely think from how hard and fast his heart was beating in his chest. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. I really —”
“No,” Mark said. “I’m done with this.”
With that, he turned around and left the room, leaving Jon feeling empty and alone.
And angry. He laid back down on the bed, turned his phone off, and put the quilt over his face.
When Jon woke up, it was late afternoon. His stomach grumbled. His hands seemed to wake up before him, searching for a body next to him. There was no one there and the sheets were cold and crumpled under his touch.
He opened his eyes as he remembered what had happened. First, Mark’s touch, the way he had looked at Jon, the way his eyes shone under the dim electric bathroom light. How excited he had been. How much he had wanted Mark to touch him. Then everything else — the orgasm and basically being carried to bed before he passed out, Mark’s arms and legs curled up around him.
Then how angry he had been after Jon had woken him up. The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. Why would anyone be upset at something like that? It seemed like a sweet deal to him. Unless Mark didn’t actually like him, which could certainly be possible. He had told Jon that he was lonely. On the other hand, it wasn’t as if he had actually gotten anything out of it, at least sexually.
He hadn’t even been the one to get off. Jon sat up and swallowed, trying to get rid of the knot in his throat. He couldn’t believe Mark would do something like this to him. After Jon had confessed how he felt. After he had basically let him do whatever he wanted to him.
He wanted to call Mark and take him to task. He wanted to ask how he had dared to do something like that. Jon had never felt used before, not until he was sitting there, in his own seat and next to the lingering smell of Mark’s body. If Mark didn’t want him, he didn’t need to use him — especially not when he knew that it would throw everything into disarray for Jon. Because it had.
