by Ailsa Wild
Jessie tells us what to do because she’s read the rules. She even demonstrates hopping down the court. It’s weird because she doesn’t play bunk-bed moves or do rock-climbing or anything sporty usually. I thought hopscotch would be a dumb game for little girls but after we’ve played it a bit, I start getting really into it. There’s a rhythm in the skip of it that’s satisfying.
We all keep glancing at the front door, but Mr Hinkenbushel doesn’t come or go.
I get better at not landing on the lines and Vee is really good at tossing the stone exactly in the square. Jessie isn’t as good as either of us, but she does keep playing. It’s like, because we have the purpose of the stake-out, she doesn’t mind that she’s not as good as us.
We do hopscotch stake-out after school every day, but nothing happens. Until Friday. We’re about to give up and go to the park instead, and finally, Mr Hinkenbushel comes out the front door of our building. He walks straight past our hopscotch game and down the street.
We all stare at each other. I suddenly realise how stupid we’ve been. We don’t even have an excuse to follow him.
‘I’m going,’ I whisper.
‘But –’ says Jessie.
‘What’s the point of the stake-out if we don’t follow him?’
‘I’m coming too,’ says Vee.
‘OK then, me too,’ says Jessie.
I shake my head. ‘We can’t all go.’
Mr Hinkenbushel is getting smaller and smaller, disappearing down the street.
‘Why not?’ Vee asks.
After staring at each other for a second, we all turn and run after him.
When we get closer, we tumble to a walk. I hold up my hand for quiet and we all start to tiptoe down the footpath. I dodge along in the shadowy section of a wall and the others follow.
Mr Hinkenbushel looks a bit nervous. He’s going at a funny speed. Not quite fast and not quite slow, but kind of twitchy. Nervous. He’s pulled a hat down over his eyes and he’s peeking out from under it like he doesn’t want anyone to see his face. He crosses a road and we just manage to make the same lights as him.
On the other side of the road, he seems to see something. Then he slows right down so we’re about to catch up with him. Vee pulls my sleeve and pretends to look in a shop window. We line up next to each other, looking in the window, trying not to laugh. It’s men’s shirts. Really boring.
‘What’s he doing?’ Vee whispers.
He seems to be dawdling. Then he suddenly picks up his pace. I realise he’s following somebody else. I’m pretty sure he’s following a tall man with a big gold watch and very shiny shoes, who has just stepped out of a bank. The tall man strides along the footpath. Mr Hinkenbushel dodges after him, and we follow in a line behind.
‘Who’s the new guy?’ Jessie whispers from the back.
‘No idea,’ Vee says.
‘Do you think Mr Hinkenbushel is going to do something bad?’ I ask over my shoulder.
‘Should we call the police?’ Vee sounds a bit nervous.
But we don’t have a phone and anyway, the police won’t believe anything we say now they’ve seen our revenge video.
They didn’t believe anything before they saw it.
Just then the tall man stops.
Mr Hinkenbushel stops behind him, and we stop behind Mr Hinkenbushel.
We’re like a set of dominos ready to be tipped over.
The tall man has reached into his pocket to answer his phone.
‘Good afternoon,’ he says, in a voice I recognise straight away.
It’s Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery.
At first I’m so dumbstruck that I just stand there. Mr Hinkenbushel is following Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery!
Until this moment, part of me thought I was probably wrong. I was kind of just playing a big game with the diamond smugglers and the stake-out. But now I think it’s real. Now I know I was right.
I pull Jessie and Vee over to a tram stop and we lean against the glass, pretending to wait for the tram. Mr Hinkenbushel is very nearby, half in the queue for a coffee cart.
But really, we’re all listening as hard as we can to Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery’s phone call.
‘This is absolutely our last chance,’ he declares into his phone. His posh voice sounds less lazy than usual. ‘If we don’t make our move tonight …’ Then he pauses. ‘If you cannot manage to locate the documentation, then I shall do it alone.’ He hangs up and scowls down at his phone. ‘Utterly useless,’ he mutters.
‘He’s very angry with the police,’ I whisper.
Jessie nods. ‘Well, they’re not doing a very good job.’
I wonder what Mr Hinkenbushel will do now. He’s turned around. His hat is off now and he’s almost strutting. He actually looks quite pleased with himself, almost as though he wants to be seen. We trail behind him but he just goes straight home. Jessie and Vee and I look at each other, confused. Why did he even go out in the first place?
Mr Hinkenbushel stops in front of the door of our building to answer his phone.
Jessie silently passes me the hopscotch stone and I toss it onto the court and start hopping. I don’t have to strain my ears to hear what Mr Hinkenbushel has to say.
‘I’m out. I’m catching a plane to Sydney this evening,’ he says quite loudly. ‘For a meeting, but I’ll be back tomorrow.’ He pauses. ‘Yes, the document is in my apartment, all safe.’
Then he nods, hangs up, and glances down the street. I follow his gaze. Was that Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery ducking round the corner?
Mr Hinkenbushel looks pleased for some reason and goes inside. Is he pleased because of the phone call? Or did he do something we didn’t notice to Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery?
We wait until the lift doors close.
‘The document!’ I say. ‘It’s right there, next door to our place.’
Jessie shakes her head. ‘He could have been talking about any document.’
‘We just caught him following Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery!’ I say. ‘Of course it’s the document.’
‘Are we a hundred per cent sure that was Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery?’ Jessie asks.
‘A million per cent,’ I say.
We all nod. We’ve heard his voice enough times.
‘But they didn’t talk to each other,’ she says. ‘It could have been a coincidence that they were in the same place at the same time.’
‘But it wasn’t,’ Vee says.
We all nod. Mr Hinkenbushel deliberately went looking for Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery, made sure Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery saw him, and then walked away. We just don’t know why.
Dinner isn’t quite ready so I lie on the floor with Baby, giving him my finger to grip and then pulling his little fist around. But I’m not really paying Baby any attention. I’m thinking.
Mr Hinkenbushel is going away and his flat will be empty. The police and Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery have no idea how to find the missing document that will lead them to the smugglers. And the document is in Mr Hinkenbushel’s flat, which will be empty tonight.
I skype Mum.
She coos at Baby and tries to make him clap but he just wriggles his hands at her. He’s not coordinated enough to clap yet. Then he tries to eat the iPad so I leave him on the rug and take Mum into our room.
‘Mum, those diamond mines. Are they really bad?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, Squishy.’ She nods. ‘They’re really bad.’
‘OK.’ She’s helping me make a decision, even though she doesn’t know it. ‘And, Mum, what would you do if the police didn’t believe you, but you knew you were right?’
Mum suddenly looks suspicious. ‘Is this about that revenge gang thing? Have the police been round again? Do I need to speak with your father?’
I forgot she only just found out about the HRC video, and of course she’s still worried.
‘Mum, it’s fine, nothing else has happened.’
‘Sure?’
‘Sure I’m sure.’
‘Mum, it’s about something totally different …’ I make up a little lie. ‘It’s a thing I’m doing for school … about … um … justice.’
She still looks a bit suspicious, but also thoughtful. ‘What was your question? What would I do if the police didn’t believe me?’ She thinks it over. ‘Is it about something important?’ she asks.
I nod.
‘I suppose …’ She’s still thinking. ‘I suppose I’d do everything I could to prove I was right.’
It’s really late. Dad and Alice have gone to bed and Baby has stopped crying.
It’s time.
‘Vee,’ I whisper. ‘Let’s do it.’
‘Whaa…?’ Vee sounds groggy. She must have been asleep.
I feel Jessie sit up. ‘You two are bam-bam crazy,’ she says.
I’m already pulling my pyjamas off. I’ve got my climbing clothes underneath.
We planned it all after dinner. I get to be the one, even though Vee’s been climbing longer than me. I thought she’d argue more, but after she looked down out the window, she went a bit white and let me.
While I tie myself into my makeshift climbing harness, Jessie says all the things she said before we went to bed.
‘You’ll fall. You’ll die. There’s nothing there anyway. The police will come and put you in jail.’
Vee anchors the rope around the bedpost and holds it, ready to belay me. My harness is made of climbing rope and a leather belt and it’s really strong.
‘I won’t fall,’ I say. ‘Vee’s got me. Haven’t you, Vee?’
Vee nods, biting her lip.
‘It’s a question of trust, right?’ I say. I’m grinning and afraid at the same time.
I open the window. Jessie goes quiet and stands behind Vee to hold the rope.
Then I climb out onto the windowsill. The ground is a really long way down. The tops of the trees are a really long way down. My heart starts thundering, my throat blocks up and I feel like my forehead is burning from the fear.
I know my harness is good, and I can feel the strength of Vee’s hands on the end of the rope. It’s only two metres across to the balcony and the handholds are easier than the easiest wall at the climbing gym. This is nothing.
It doesn’t feel like nothing.
It feels like the scariest thing I have ever, ever done.
But I can’t climb back inside now.
I reach along the wall for the first brick and curl my fingers around it. It feels solid. I can do this. I have to trust myself. I nudge my toe out and find a hold.
My fingers feel strong and I know what I’m doing. I inch spider-ways across the wall. Trying not to think about the drop. Trying not to think about being an idiot and Jessie being right. Just feeling the gentle tug of the rope that tells me Vee is holding on. I try to focus on the strength in my fingertips.
I reach the balcony rail and swing myself over it onto the tiles. I collapse and just sit there, feeling sick. I already know that was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. You’d think I’d be relieved that I didn’t die. But I’m not. Also, I know I have to do the whole thing again to get back.
‘You OK?’ Jessie hisses from the window.
‘Yep,’ I say. ‘Shhh.’
If Alice and Dad wake up and realise what’s happening, they’ll probably disown us. Then send us to some horrible boarding school for criminally minded children, or feed us to ravenous sharks. And Mum would fly back from Geneva to help them.
I make myself stand up and unclip the harness. Mr Hinkenbushel’s balcony door is exactly the same as Alice and Dad’s, but it opens into a lounge room instead of a bedroom. Lucky, because I do not want to see Mr Hinkenbushel’s underwear.
I look quickly around his lounge room, which is pretty bare. There’s not much here. The first door I try, I can tell this is where I need to look. There are bookshelves with lots of folders on them, and a computer on a desk with a mess of paper everywhere. I think whatever I’m looking for must be very well hidden, so I’m ready to do a thorough search.
But the first thing I see, as though it’s been placed there for me to find, is an official-looking piece of paper.
‘The Cantaloupe Diamonds, purchased to the value of …’ I stare at the number printed on the page. The row of zeros seems to blur and I can’t count them.
I’ve found it. The document the police are looking for. It was too easy!
Then I hear a noise that makes my heart jump out of my mouth.
Someone is turning the handle of Mr Hinkenbushel’s front door.
I stand there, gripping the piece of paper, as a key turns and the lock clicks open. Mr Hinkenbushel is home early. I look around fast. I don’t have time to run to the balcony and climb back across. I’ll have to find somewhere to hide. Under the desk? What if I just stand really still? I flick off the torch and edge up against the wall. Maybe he won’t come into the study.
But he does. It’s strange. He doesn’t turn on the light. He just walks straight to the study doorway and stands there, a tall and scary shadow. Actually, he’s really tall. Taller than Mr Hinkenbushel. The silhouette looks familiar but it’s definitely not our next-door neighbour.
He turns on a torch, and starts to rummage through the papers on the desk. I suddenly realise who it is.
‘Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery!’ I say with a wash of relief.
He gives a little scream and drops his torch.
‘It’s just Squishy Taylor,’ I say, turning on my own torch, and shining it at him. ‘I live next door. I’ve been trying to catch him too.’
Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery squints and shades his eyes. ‘Trying to catch … who?’ he asks.
‘Mr Hinkenbushel, the diamond smuggler!’ I say. ‘And I think I’ve found what you’re looking for. It’s the forged receipt, right?’ I add, waving the piece of paper.
Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery picks up his own torch and stares at me strangely. Then he shakes his head. ‘Good gracious, yes. Mr Hinkenbushel, the diamond smuggler!’ He smiles an odd kind of smile and snatches the receipt out of my hands. ‘Have you read this?’ he asks, looking at me sharply.
‘Enough to know it’s a receipt for very expensive diamonds,’ I say.
‘But not …’ He checks himself and looks it over. ‘Ah, yes. This is just the thing. The police will be delighted. I shall just … go now … to the … police station. I’ll be sure to let them know what a good little girl you are.’
He’s backing out of the room.
I hate being called a ‘good little girl’. But this might work to my advantage.
‘Hey, Mr um, Lord? What do you think about coming next door and telling my parents that I was right and everything’s OK. Otherwise I have to do that horrible climb back across to my bedroom. Come on.’
I grab his hand and pull him out the door and down the hall towards our place.
‘Well, I’d much rather … um … my goodness,’ he says.
And suddenly we are both staring Alice in the face.
‘What is going on?’ Alice asks. Our door is wide open and all the lights are on inside. Baby is blinking in her arms.
Behind her, Vee mouths, ‘Busted.’
‘Ah … um … This very good little girl has been helping me with my police investigations into the diamond-smuggling situation.’
Alice looks down at the tangle of rope that is my climbing harness and her eyes widen. She opens her mouth to ask a question.
‘So sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night. I think I’ll just pop off now …’ Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery trails off.
‘I’m going to need a much better explanation than that,’ Alice says to him, like she’s talking to one of us.
Just then, the lift pings and slides open. It’s Mr Hinkenbushel. ‘Perfect!’ I say to Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery. ‘Now you can arrest him and we can all go back to bed.’
Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery backs away from us all. ‘What? Huh? I can’t –’ Then he pulls himself up and turns to Mr
Hinkenbushel. ‘You, sir, are a diamond-smuggling criminal,’ he declares.
To my surprise, Mr Hinkenbushel grins. ‘No,’ he says. ‘You are.’
Behind us, the stairwell door opens and a woman comes striding towards us.
‘Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery. You are under arrest for theft, fraud and unsafe work practices.’
Vee, Jessie and I stare at each other in utter disbelief.
It’s Boring Lady.
She turns Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery around and handcuffs him.
‘Nicely done,’ she says to Mr Hinkenbushel, who grins again. It’s practically a high-five.
‘But I … I thought you were the diamond smuggler,’ I say to Mr Hinkenbushel.
‘And I thought you were just annoying children.’ He looks around at all of us. ‘Turns out you’re not just annoying. You’re nosy, dangerous and you almost got yourself killed ruining my trap for Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery.’
My stomach sinks.
‘Goodness gracious,’ says Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery, sounding desperate but still posh, with his nose pressed up against the wall. ‘I’m not the criminal you’re after, my good man! I’m on your side.’
‘Rubbish,’ Mr Hinkenbushel growls. ‘You’ve been using your special access to the police to hide your scent. But you stink too bad to get away with it forever.’
‘My, the police in the colonies are rather crude, aren’t they?’ Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery sneers, but you can tell his heart isn’t in it.
Boring Lady gives him a shake. ‘That’s enough. Let’s get you down to the police station.’
Boring Lady pulls a card from her pocket and hands it to Alice. ‘I’ll let you get back to sleep. But come by in the morning, and bring the kids. We’ll want to question them.’
Mr Hinkenbushel follows Boring Lady, who pushes Lord Smiggenbotham-Chancery down the corridor to the lift.
