by Ophelia Bell
“How many times do we need to wind up like this before we can stop, do you think?” he asked.
His breath gusted over her skin, sending a tingle of heat straight between her thighs. She bucked back against him and immediately regretted it.
Simon laughed, grinding his crotch into her ass. “Sex isn’t exactly regulation but I’m game if you want us both to break the rules.”
“Fuck you,” she snapped. Once again, her trusty wings unfurled, knocking him off her back.
They went at each other again and again, taking turns gaining the upper hand, then losing it. Simon insisted on playing dirty, teasing her every time she wound up in full-body contact. Her armor was a flexible mesh that could only dull sensation so much, so when she got him on his back again, she was acutely aware that the bulge in his groin had gotten bigger.
“Simon,” she cautioned, leaping off him as if he’d caught on fire.
“Can’t help it, Midnight. This is what you do to me.”
He stalked toward her and she sneered, sprinting behind one of the barriers on the side. Slipping into the shadows to hide, she crept around to watch him from behind, catching her breath. It had become increasingly clear that Simon’s advantage was in his stamina, and after an hour of back and forth, Astra was growing winded. She had trained relentlessly since returning but hadn’t tested her skills against an opponent quite as big as him. In the women’s solo bracket, she rarely faced off against anyone who could last longer than her.
“I’ll find you, Midnight!” he called, then lifted his hands to appeal to the crowd. “Any help out there?”
The entire arena erupted in laughter but thankfully they also knew the rules and didn’t betray her location.
She rose to her feet after some of her strength had returned and peeked back out of her hiding place. Simon was gone. She lifted her eyes to the crowd, hoping for some clue where he’d gotten to, but all eyes were on her.
Suddenly a thick arm slipped around her waist and she yelped as Simon pulled her back against him. His lips grazed her throat and his hard arousal pressed against her ass.
“We should try this again later, only without armor and an audience.”
Her dragon rumbled in agreement, but she wasn’t about to give in. With a smooth twist, she hooked her arm around his neck and one foot behind his leg, toppling him over and pinning him again. This time she extended her talons and aimed them at his throat.
“No, Simon. We agreed months ago that it can’t happen.”
She sliced her claws across his chest, scoring the final point of the match, but the announcement was barely audible over the roar of the crowd. Simon shrugged against the sand.
“Dinner then. It’s the least you can do for kicking my ass.”
She gave him a long-suffering sigh and nodded. “Fine. Dinner. I want to hear how the training’s been going.” She climbed off him and stood, reaching out a hand to help him up. Together they jogged to the center of the arena and took a bow.
Before she turned to head back to her dressing room, he bent down and whispered in her ear. “Meet me at the Lakeside Lodge in an hour.” Then he gave her a peck on the cheek that lingered for a second longer than strictly necessary.
The warm tingle between her legs didn’t subside for several minutes, and her dragon was suddenly cranky despite just winning the match. Part of her was positive a date with Simon was a mistake, no matter how much she rationalized that they were seeing each other as friends.
The truth was, she missed him. She missed Javin just as much but had avoided them both since returning, preferring to focus on training to help herself forget what they’d lost. Visiting with Simina and her infant daughter was the only downtime she allowed herself. She could see her brother in the baby girl’s bearing, even though she knew that was impossible. Simina’s three mates were amazing men, but they weren’t her brother.
She thought about calling Simina to talk her down off this ledge. The reunion with Simon had awakened an old itch she thought she’d succeeded in abolishing with her training. If she saw him tonight, would she do something stupid like take him home with her out of desperation? She hadn’t had sex since returning either and hadn’t missed it at all until now.
She turned the shower on with a frustrated sweep of her fist on the dial, set it to hot for a few minutes, then flipped it to ice-cold, angry at her body’s reaction to being near Simon again. But her ache grew unrelenting as the inevitability of the night sank in. She needed to scratch that itch or her dragon would never let her rest. Hopefully, one night would be enough to get that need out of her system.
33
Astra
Astra entered the restaurant an hour later in her slinkiest cocktail dress. Tiny, sparkling jewels intended to represent stars were scattered all over the midnight-blue fabric.
Heads turned when she walked into the bar and the entire room grew hushed for a second before everyone broke into cheers. She should have anticipated the place being packed to the gills with fans, but they went back to their meals and drinks with only casual smiles aimed her way as she looked around for Simon.
She spied him standing near the windows overlooking the lake, but he wasn’t alone. Javin stood beside him and they were chatting with another man, slightly smaller in stature but whose back was toward her.
Cursing to herself, she debated turning around and leaving, but running had never been her style. Instead, she set her jaw and stalked across the restaurant.
Simon alone she could have dealt with. They were both champions, so she could keep the conversation focused on the arena or their training for the entire night and just hope her invitation for sex later wasn’t misconstrued. But Javin wouldn’t be so easy to control herself around. He’d tried to see her on several occasions since returning but she’d rebuffed him, citing their original promise to keep their distance. More recently he’d pushed harder, his messages insisting that he’d never wanted their separation to be permanent, that he missed her and Simon and wanted to try to have something with them both, even if it wasn’t mating.
She’d just have to explain she wasn’t ready, that she had no idea when she would be ready. She was more than content with her life the way it was, especially now that the arena season was about to begin. Having either of them as distractions was too far outside her plan, especially considering how raw the pain still was when she saw them.
If only her dragon would agree. The rebellious beast behaved perfectly in the arena, but when it came to these two men, her dragon’s desires were completely contrary to her own. This would just have to stop.
Simon’s gaze lifted to hers as she approached and her steps faltered at the expression on his face. He looked utterly bewildered, his eyes red and glassy as if he’d been crying. Then she glanced at Javin, who seemed to be in similar emotional straits, dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief. But the weird thing was, he was smiling.
Javin saw her then, his smile growing wider. He took a step away from the other man and opened his arms. “Astra, you’re finally here!”
Too confused by the strange behavior to reject his embrace, she slipped into his arms. She hated herself a little for wanting it so much, for how amazing it felt to simply be held by him, but she’d had a good reason for avoiding both of them all along.
“Do I get one too, love?”
The voice was a deep purr behind her, suggestive yet gentle, and a dream come to life.
Her heart stopped and she looked into Javin’s eyes, searching. She was too afraid to turn around.
Javin nodded and released her, and she had no choice but to turn and see the ghost who had joined them.
Her breath caught and before she could react her dragon took the wheel, launching her into Val’s arms.
“You’re alive! Oh my god how are you alive?” She peppered his face with kisses, then paused to stare at him in disbelief. Grabbing his shirt collar, she shook him hard. “Where the fuck have you been? We thought you were dead, y
ou asshole!”
Val laughed, then grimaced. “I realize that now and I’m sorry. Shall we sit and have dinner so I can tell you all the whole story?”
She didn’t want to eat now that he was here, but she knew better than to mess with her diet. Arena champions were nothing if not meticulous about their routines.
They settled into a booth with her at Val’s side and Simon and Javin across from them. It was impossible not to keep touching him, reassuring herself that he was really there, and the waiter gave them a strange look as he took their order. When he was gone, she squeezed Val’s hand.
“You’d better not leave a fucking thing out, got it? It’s been months and you’ve been alive all this time? What the fuck?”
He took a deep breath and nodded, shooting her a quick look. “That can wait. There’s something else I need to do first.”
He turned toward her and cupped both big hands around her face, tilted his head, and pressed his lips to hers. Astra’s body lit up like a star with the press of his mouth and the heat of his tongue delving in. He parted her lips and she opened, moaning in surrender. She’d dreamed of kissing him so many times over the past few months but always woke in tears. Now he was finally here, and alive. She wrapped her arms around him, pressed her body to his, and kissed him harder.
With a groan, he gripped her sides and pushed her away, breathing heavily. His eyes had gone the brilliant green of his panther’s, the pupils dilated wide.
“God, I missed you,” he rumbled. “And again, I’m sorry for letting you think the worst. Things weren’t exactly copacetic after the fire.”
His gaze went dark and he turned to Javin and Simon, then reached for his drink.
“We’re listening,” Javin said in a gentle tone.
“Whatever you need, we’re here,” Simon added.
“We’ll get to what I need soon enough, and hopefully it’s not out of the question. But for now, you need to know what happened. When I went back for my dad, I admit I wasn’t sure if I would survive, but I had to try. He was sick. He needed my help.”
His gaze darted between Javin and Simon, and Astra knew there was no way in hell they’d blame him. She didn’t either, even though his dad had been responsible for the drug winding up on Nova Aurora in the first place. She squeezed his hand to urge him on.
“He was conscious when I got back to him, but just barely. Enough for us to shift and run. We made it out but not entirely unscathed. The medical examiner said he died of smoke inhalation and shock. He could have survived if not for the drug in his system blocking his link to his animal, but I think he was ready to go at the end. He made peace with it.”
His voice broke and Astra snuggled closer, resting her head on his shoulder. He slipped an arm around her and sighed. “He was sorry at the end. Regretful, repentant, whatever you want to call it. He just wanted it over.” He took a shaky breath before going on. “By the time I got him back to the lab . . . such as it was . . . you guys were gone. It was a bit of an ordeal getting back to the city. My keys burned up in the fire, along with my phone. And there’s nothing for miles out there. I left Dad’s body in my car and shifted. The house you guys were staying in was closest, so I went there, hoping you would be there.”
“We never went back to the house,” Javin said. “Bruce brought us our things and we left straight from the hospital the morning after the fire. We found the counteragent though. And the flash drive with the protocol. Thank you for that.”
Val squeezed her tighter and sighed. “Thank god you guys had that at least.”
“You’ve saved a lot of lives on Nova Aurora,” Simon said. “And the fact that I helped earned me a spot in the league again. I owe you my life in so many ways.”
She teared up at the thick hitch in Simon’s voice and reached across the table to grab his hand.
“My life was crumbling,” Val said with a helpless shrug. “You guys were gone, my dad was dead. My lab . . .” He shook his head. “The only copy of the data that survived was what I gave to you. But at some point I realized there was nothing left for me there. I’d inherited the company, but I didn’t want it anymore. My heart just wasn’t in it. So I sold it. Every last piece. Every asset I had on Earth, I sold. I know it was a risk. There was no guarantee that you guys hadn’t moved on after six months apart, but I had to try.”
Astra leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s only been three months, Val. At least for us. We haven’t gone anywhere.”
He gave her a blank look before what she said registered. “Right, the time dilation. That’s some consolation. So, you haven’t mated someone else?” he asked, staring down into her eyes. “Not even one of them?”
“She’s barely spoken to us, man,” Simon said. “We were all pretty destroyed. It takes longer than a few months to get over learning the love of your life has died.”
Val grimaced. “I’m such an asshole for not trying to let you know. I was in my own dark little world. It took a long time to wake up to what I needed to do. Believe it or not, Gerri Wilder was the one who snapped me out of it. She came to my door one day and laid it all out for me. Said you guys needed me and if I was done feeling sorry for myself, I needed to shit or get off the fucking pot. That’s a direct quote, by the way.”
She laughed, and the men all followed.
“I think she was onto something, putting us together,” Simon said. “Like it was more than just about the drug.”
Val shot a look at her, then at the other two. Astra’s stomach did a flip at the intensity in his eyes. “I know for a fact it was more. My coming here now was thanks to what she said, but it wasn’t only because I have no life left there. I knew the second I met the three of you that I wanted all of you. I get that it wasn’t as instantaneous for you guys, but there’s no going back for me. So here I am. Take me or leave me.”
A lump formed in her throat and she scooted away from Val, staring down at the table. “What exactly are you asking for?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, his tone bordering on desperate. “I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. All of you. All this time, I’ve tried picturing myself with even one of you and I can’t. My life has only made perfect sense twice. When I first came up with the formula for EG-Alpha, and the day I realized I loved the three of you. My research is gone. You guys are all that’s left for me.”
Astra shot a pleading look to Javin and Simon. They knew her, knew what she wanted. Couldn’t they back her up?
They both looked back at her with equally sad eyes.
“Am I missing something here?” Val asked. “Do you want me or not?”
“It isn’t that simple,” she said.
“Yeah, it is,” Simon shot, giving her a barbed look. He turned to Val. “We want you, man. More than you fucking know. It’s just going to take a little effort to convince Astra that being with us isn’t going to dishonor her brother’s memory somehow.”
“Every match I fight is for him,” she said in a strained voice. “If I get distracted by whatever this is, I’ll lose. If I lose, his death will have been meaningless.”
“You know as well as anyone that I want that too,” Javin said. “Let us help you fight for him. Nobody’s going to forget about your brother if you try to find happiness.”
It was Val’s touch on her shoulder that eased the rising panic. He urged her to settle back down and she realized she’d risen halfway out of the booth and was ready to bolt.
“If any of us needs to fight for his memory, it’s me, Astra. You’re not alone in this. I owe it to you and to Talon. But I can’t fight alone either. I have resources. I’ve transferred most of my assets to Nova Aurora. I want to start a lab. Begin to fix the damage I’ve done.”
“I’m not stopping you from doing that,” she said. “I just can’t be what you want. Not right now.”
“You’re wrong,” Val said. “You’re everything I want already. Everything I need.” He looked heartbroken and she couldn’t bea
r to see it.
She shook her head and rose again. “I can’t just go from believing you’re dead to wanting to be your mate in the snap of a finger. I’m going to go. I’m so happy you’re alive, Val, but I’m sorry.”
She stumbled through the restaurant, eyes blurry and heart heavy. As she pushed through the doors and tapped her communicator to summon a taxi, she felt like a heavy weight had settled in her belly. Her dragon had retreated into darkness and she didn’t even have that to comfort her on the way home.
* * *
Astra had only been home for a few minutes when someone pounded on her door. Too bleary-eyed and weak with hunger, she opened it, expecting her food delivery, but stumbled back when Javin loomed in front of her, yellow eyes bright with passionate intensity.
“You’re being a fucking fool, Astra. Simon’s too nice to say it and Val’s too wrecked, so you get to hear it from me. You’re fucking crazy to turn us down. We belong together.”
She gritted her teeth and stalked away from the door, leaving him standing on the threshold. Closing it in his face would have been the ideal option, but she knew him too well. He’d break it down if she tried that, given the look on his face right now.
“Don’t you think it’s my choice who I’m with?” she asked, putting the kitchen island between them and refilling her wine.
“Yes, but you’ve already made your choice. Your dragon knows it. I saw it when the four of us were together on Earth. You knew it then too or you wouldn’t have made us tie you up. Do you deny it?”
She bit the inside of her mouth and looked away, struggling to hold back the surge of emotion rising inside her at the mention of that night. It haunted her dreams because of how perfect it had been, how complete she’d felt having all three of them at the same time.
Javin rounded the island and faced her. “Stop holding back. You’ve been strong enough since Talon died. Don’t you think you’ve earned the right to let someone else help you shoulder that burden? We won’t weigh you down, baby. I promise it’ll be the opposite.”
