by Beth Rinyu
“Well, I just thought the bus would be a better option. I know you said you’re kind of busy with work.”
“I can adjust my schedule for my nephew, especially if it means I get to see his pretty teacher once a week,” he said as he got up from the chair. “It was a pleasure to meet again, Miss Morgan.” He extended his hand to me and raised his eyebrow.
I placed my hand in his and quickly released it. “Thanks for your support with this, Mr. O’Maley.”
“Oh, sweetheart, the pleasure is all mine,” he said as he turned around and exited the room.
I took a sip from the bottle of water that was sitting on my desk. Part of me was melting inside; the other part was loathing this man. He clearly had no interest in Ryan’s education. He was using it as a tool to get me in bed, which would happen over my dead body. I cringed when I thought about how close I had come to having a one-night fling with him. My new mantra - I will never drink again.
Chapter 6
I was anxiously waiting for my little brother Justin to arrive. He was home on leave for a few days and we were spending the day together before he went to meet up with his best friend tonight. I had just hung up the phone with Donna when I heard the knock on my door. I ran to answer it and was unable to wipe the smile from my face at the sight of Justin standing in the doorway. I hadn’t seen him in over a year. He looked exactly the same as he had the last time I saw him, but so different from that little boy I always had in my mind whenever I thought about him. He was about six feet tall. The dark brown stubble of what was left of his shaved hair covered his head and his muscles rippled through the black T-shirt he was wearing. The only thing that remained the same about the bratty little boy from so long ago was his big brown eyes.
He effortlessly scooped me up into his arms as I went to embrace him. “How’s my little Pooh?” I asked as I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Justin was only three years younger than I was, but I always had a protective instinct over him as if I were so much older than he was. Growing up, I always did my best to cover for him to keep him out of trouble with my parents. I thoroughly inspected all the girls he dated and would become furious if they broke his heart. But I always made sure I was there to help him pick up the pieces if they did.
“I think you’re the little one now, Nicole,” he said, placing his hand on my head as he towered over me.
“Justin, no matter how tall you are, you will always be little to me.”
We sat down on the couch and began to catch up. Justin had been staying with my parents for a few days and couldn’t take it anymore. He decided to pack up and spend his last day with me before heading off to see his best friend, Johnny. He told me that he wasn’t sure where he would be sent to next, as his orders were top secret. My stomach clenched, knowing that it was probably someplace dangerous. Even though I knew that Justin was living out his dream of being a Marine, the selfish part of me wished that he had chosen a different career; one that was a lot less risky. We spent the entire morning talking. It felt so good to catch up with him, even if it was just to listen to him complain about my parents and my sister. He knew I could relate to them all too well.
I had been dying to try the new Italian restaurant that everyone had been raving about near my school. I knew that Italian was Justin’s favorite so we quickly agreed on our venue for lunch. After we placed our orders, I began to tell Justin about my job. He listened closely when I stopped mid-sentence upon seeing Dailan O’Maley and a very tall, super-skinny redhead walking through the door.
“What’s the matter?” Justin asked.
I took a sip of water, hoping that he wouldn’t see me, but it was too late as our eyes locked.
“Just play along with me, Justin,” I whispered as Mr. O’Maley and the leggy redhead moved closer to our table.
“What are you talking about?” Justin had a look of pure confusion on his face as he turned around to see who I was staring at so intently.
“Miss Morgan, how are you?” Mr. O’Maley asked in that thick accent that made my heart leap out of my chest.
“I’m well, thank you,” I said in a very matter-of-fact tone. “Oh, this is my boyfriend, Justin.” I suddenly realized that I was a little too quick to offer up the information and hoped that I was believable.
I could see Justin giving me a strange look out of the corner of his eye. I kicked him under the table to play along. Justin stood up to shake Mr. O’Maley’s hand. He was still much taller than my brother.
“Nice to meet you; you’re a lucky guy.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Justin said with an uneasy look on his face as he shrugged.
“Well, enjoy your lunch,” I said, trying to dismiss him as quickly as possible before Justin blew his cover. I took a deep breath as he walked away from the table and I realized he hadn’t introduced us to the girl he was with. So rude but so typical of him, I thought.
“What the hell was that about?” Justin asked.
“Nothing.” I tried to play it off as the waitress brought out our food.
“Um, nothing? You just made me pretend that I was your boyfriend; you better spill your guts, girl.”
I filled Justin in on my botched introduction to Mr. O’Maley and the way I had made a complete fool out of myself. I just wanted him to think that I had a boyfriend so he would realize that I had no interest in him whatsoever and that my forward attitude that night was a result of the alcohol – which it was. I was also hoping that it would curtail him from making his uncomfortable remarks, which he considered compliments.
“Nicole, you are too much, you know that?” Justin laughed.
I smiled at him. “I know, now eat your chicken parm before I give you a big boyfriend kiss,” I joked.
We finished our lunch and headed back to my place. Justin had to go to Johnny’s house even though I wished that he could have stayed longer. We were standing outside of my apartment as Justin prepared to enter his car.
“Why don’t you meet up with us later?” he asked.
“I would love to, but I have a ton of papers to grade and I have to be up at the crack of dawn to go look at bridesmaid dresses with Donna. Besides, you’re going to be trying to pick up the girls; you wouldn’t want your girlfriend there tagging along,” I said as we both began to laugh.
“I want you to take care of yourself and if anything happens, you just haul ass and get yourself out of the situation and don’t worry about anyone else,” I said, feeling my emotions starting to stir.
“You know you just told me the exact opposite of what we are trained for.” He laughed.
“Well, I don’t care; you listen to me, because I can be a lot meaner and a bigger pain in the ass than your drill sergeant will ever be.”
“True,” he said as he pulled me closer and hugged me tightly. “I love you, Nicole.”
“I love you too, Pooh; just please be safe,” I said.
“Of course I will; I have a beautiful girlfriend to get back to.” He laughed as I lightly smacked him on the arm before he got into the car. I stood at the end of the driveway, watching him drive away until his car was out of sight. Then I let the tears begin to flow as all my fears for my brother began to surface.
I walked up the stairs to my apartment and realized that I had left my cell phone sitting on the kitchen table the whole time we were at lunch. Three missed calls, all from my mother. She had only left one voicemail. I reluctantly dialed the number so I could listen to:
“Nicole, is Justin with you? I told him to call me when he got to your house to let me know he made it there okay and he’s not answering his phone and you’re not answering yours. You kids drive me crazy – call me back.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing that I had to call her back or else she would just keep calling, and then I would really have to hear about it. I dialed her number and waited in angst for her to answer. I was surprised when instead it was my dad’s voice on the other end.
“Hey, Dad, how are you?”
“Nicole?”
he asked.
Okay, what other female would be calling him “Dad” besides my sister, who I knew was at their house at the present time as I clearly heard her yelling at her kids in the background.
“Yeah, it’s me. I was just calling Mom to let her know Justin was here and he’s on his way to Johnny’s.”
“Oh, okay. You know your mother; your brother can go and fight in a war but God forbid he takes a two-hour drive alone,” he said, trying his best attempt at humor. Not that he wasn’t a funny guy - he just wasn’t funny with me.
“Yeah.” I laughed. “Well, if you could just let her know,” I said.
“I sure will,” he said.
“Okay thanks. Bye Dad, I love you.”
“Bye, Nicole.”
I hung up the phone, feeling the same low that I always had after talking to my father. There was nothing else to be said between us; he was so disappointed in me that he couldn’t even say “I love you” back to his own daughter. He was the reason that I was so tough on the outside, never letting anyone see me cry, not even Donna, the one and only person I had ever let into my life. Through the years, I had mastered the art of holding in my sadness until I was all alone. My tears had become very personal and I was the only one allowed to see them, and right now, after hanging up the phone with my dad, they were all that I was seeing.
Chapter 7
“Okay, Ryan, spell the word ‘great’ for me,” I said.
Ryan looked up at me inquisitively with his big hazel eyes. It was difficult to stay mad at him for long; he was absolutely adorable. His smile made me melt; he had two perfectly placed dimples on each cheek. It wasn’t hard to see that good looks ran in that family. It had been a little over two months since I had my little talk with Ryan’s uncle. Ryan was making leaps and bounds academically. His behavior was still somewhat of an issue, but it was improving, which led me to believe that maybe his uncle was working with him at home as well. I had been staying with him every Wednesday after school and his uncle would pick him up every Wednesday as promised. I always did my best to avoid unnecessary conversation with him, making sure that Ryan was all packed up and ready to go when he arrived. I made up progress reports, which I gave him every two weeks to keep him abreast of Ryan’s grades and behavior.
“G-R-E . . .” Ryan paused for a moment looking like he was deep in thought. “. . . A-T,” he continued.
I smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. “Now use it in a sentence.”
“That was some great sex,” he blurted out of nowhere.
I felt my jaw drop. “Ryan, no. Where did you hear that?”
“My uncle was telling someone that on the phone one day.”
“Okay, well, that goes on the list of inappropriate things to say.”
“Well, if it’s inappropriate, then why does my uncle say it?”
“I don’t know, Ryan; sometimes adults say inappropriate things without realizing it,” I tried my best to explain.
“Well, then, I bet my uncle says a lot of things that should be on the inappropriate list.”
I rolled my eyes as he continued.
“What does bast--?”
I tried stopping him before he could get the entire word out. “Ryan, if you think it’s inappropriate, then don’t say it.”
“Well, then maybe I need to tell my uncle to stop saying those things too; maybe he doesn’t realize they’re inappropriate either,” he said very sweetly.
Oh, I’m sure he knows, I thought to myself. “Yes, Ryan, that would be a very good idea. Remind your uncle every time he says something inappropriate.” Something told me that would be a full-time job. “Speaking of your uncle, where is he?” I asked as I looked up at the clock, realizing it was already 4:40 and I only had twenty minutes to get to the bank before it closed. I waited another five minutes before I started fumbling through my files for Ryan’s uncle’s contact information. I picked up my cell phone and dialed his cell. Three rings; great, it’s probably going to go to voicemail and I’m never going to make it to the bank.
“O’Maley,” he finally answered in a stern tone. His voice gave me butterflies and my hands were actually shaking. Why the heck was I shaking over this fool?
“Mr. O’Maley, it’s Nicole Morgan.”
“Ah, Miss Morgan.” His tone suddenly became softer. “What did Ryan do now?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, so you just called to hear my voice, did ya?” he asked playfully.
“Uh, no. I called to tell you that you’re forty-five minutes late picking up your nephew and I should have been out of here—like ten minutes ago!”
“Oh, fuck!” he shouted. “I totally forgot today is Wednesday; I’m in a meeting about an hour away.”
My eyes shifted to Ryan, who looked like he was being abandoned. “Look, I have to get to the bank before they close. I can take Ryan home with me if you’d like and you can pick him up from there.”
“You’d do that for me, darlin’?”
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for Ryan,” I clarified.
“Thanks, I owe you,” he said.
“That’s okay,” I said sarcastically. I quickly gave him my address before hanging up the phone.
I had Ryan quickly pack up his backpack and we headed out the door. I pulled into the drive-thru of my bank with three minutes to spare. I waited for the teller to finish with my transaction and looked in the rearview mirror. Ryan was sitting in the back seat, looking out the window like a little lost soul. Less than a year ago, his mom and dad were here loving and caring for him. Now he was totally dependent on a self-centered buffoon who was less mature than he was.
“Are you hungry, Ryan?”
“Kinda.”
“Well, I make the best grilled cheese sandwiches!”
“Okay,” he said with a smile.
I turned up the radio to drown out the silence and headed home. I turned down my tree-lined street and pulled in the driveway. Mrs. Tallone, my landlord, was walking her little Pomeranian, Elmo.
“Hi, Nicole, I got a package for you that came from UPS.”
“Oh great, my new purse!” I said.
Mrs. Tallone was in her seventies and was the sweetest landlady anyone could ask for. I wasn’t sure if she still believed it was 1950 or if she really didn’t care that she was charging me half the rent that she should have been. I didn’t argue. I loved my cozy little second floor apartment; it was perfect. I especially loved the fireplace and bay view from my living room.
I did a lot to make up for my bargain rent. I would always pick up extra groceries for her when I was at the food store, which she would always accept in protest. I would take her to her weekly hair appointments when needed and we’d have dinner together quite often. She had become somewhat of a grandmother to me.
Ryan’s face lit up when he saw Elmo. “Do you want to pet him?” I asked.
He nodded. He walked over to Elmo and petted him gently on the head. Elmo responded by covering Ryan in kisses. “He likes you,” Mrs. Tallone said.
“What’s his name?” Ryan asked.
“Elmo,” Mrs. Tallone responded as she smiled, watching the two of them.
“Oh, Mrs. Tallone, this is Ryan; he’s one of my students.”
“Well, it’s really nice to meet you, Ryan,” Mrs. Tallone said.
Ryan looked up and smiled, still unable to break free from Elmo. Mrs. Tallone went in to get my package and brought it out to me. Ryan finally pulled himself from Elmo and we made our way up the stairs to my apartment.
Ryan walked in and took everything in. “Is this where you live?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.”
He picked up the picture of my brother and me that had been taken at his graduation from the Marine Corps. “Wow, is he a soldier?”
“Yup, that’s my brother,” I said proudly.
“Cool,” he said.
He walked around examining more pictures that I had set out, inquiring who was in each picture, and I explained
. I took the frying pan out and made us each a grilled cheese sandwich. Ryan was finally done exploring my apartment and sat down at the breakfast bar.
“Here you go,” I said as I placed the grilled cheese and a glass of juice in front of him.
“Thanks,” he said.
Ryan began to talk non-stop. He told me that he had a nanny who would get him off the bus and take care of him when his uncle had to travel for work. He spent one night a week and every other weekend with his mom’s sister, Lisa. He didn’t have any brothers or sisters and the last thing he said broke my heart – he missed his mother and father more than anything. The tears began to roll down his face when he spoke of them.
I grabbed a napkin and wiped the tears away. “Oh Ryan, your mommy and daddy will always be in your heart.”
He looked at me inquisitively.
“When someone we love dies, they’re always nearby; they live in your heart forever. And I’m quite certain that your mommy and daddy are really close by; they would never be too far from a great kid like you!”
“But why can’t I see them anymore?” He began to sob uncontrollably.
I hugged him tightly until his cries subsided. I dampened a washcloth and wiped his face. My heart was aching for this poor little boy. “Ryan, have you ever talked to your uncle about how you’re feeling?” I asked.
“Sometimes, but he gets really sad when I talk about my daddy because they were brothers.”
I made a mental note to talk to the school guidance counselor tomorrow. Ryan needed to express his feelings and for tonight, I was happy to listen. I looked down at his half-eaten grilled cheese. He picked it up and took another bite. When we finished eating, Ryan took out his homework and began to work diligently on it. He asked me to check his math worksheet, which I gladly did and was pleased to see that he only got one answer wrong.
“Good job, Ryan!” I went into my bag and pulled the Thanksgiving-themed stickers out, placing one on his paper. His smile lit up the room; he looked so proud of himself and he had every reason to be.
We were just finishing up our ice cream when the doorbell rang. I got up to answer it, not surprised to find Dailan O’Maley on the other side. “That bloody overgrown rat of a dog just tried biting me in the arse,” he said as he made his way in.
