We ran together, side by side. Despite Oria being the faster wolf, she wouldn’t let me drop behind. My paws hit the ground in a thumping rhythm, in tandem with my friend’s, our heads low, breath coming in ragged pants. Birds flew from trees before our path, as if alerting nature to our presence, but we weren’t concerned with hunting now.
Skidding over the path, I twisted to guide Oria towards where I knew Roarke would be watching over the other wolves as they trained.
Weylin looked up, and Roarke frowned at us as we barrelled back into the clearing, and I morphed back mid-step, almost stumbling as momentum kept me moving. Roarke made his way to me, gripping my arms to keep me up on legs that threatened to turn to jelly. He waited calmly as I tried to catch my breath, the worry in his eyes only making me want to tell him everything was fine because I couldn’t bear to tell him news that would only make him more tense than he already was, that would only add to the burden he already struggled under.
“Scent, in the woods,” I managed to pant out. “Not pack.”
My words caught the attention of all nearby, who stopped their training to listen in. Worried whispers filled the air, eyes watching us, waiting.
“Quillan went after it?” Roarke asked, his composure staying true. Only I could see the cracks in his mask of calm.
I nodded. “Ruiraidh went with him.”
He took a deep breath before turning slightly, his voice carrying across the small crowd. “There’s no point in panicking yet. If there’s a wolf on our land, Quillan and Ruiraidh will find him.”
I chewed on my lip, not wanting to say more in front of so many wolves. Roarke seemed to understand and turned to address Weylin and the surrounding wolves. “Go home until we understand what’s going on. There is no need to worry. Weylin, when they return, send them straight to my office. Brenna, I would like you to make sure Oria gets home safely.”
His orders were followed through without question, not even from Brenna, who barely glanced my way before following Oria to the house. Roarke remained still until all had gone, making sure his pack was safe. I admired him for staying so calm when I was a mess.
My mate began helping me back to the house once I’d caught my breath again, his arm gentle yet firm around my waist.
“What is it that you left out, my female?” he asked, his gaze staying straight ahead as if he knew what I was about to say would disappoint him, and I dearly worried about disappointing him now.
I didn’t answer until we were inside the house and the door was shut, waiting another moment to make sure nobody else was around.
“Alpha Robert stopped me in the kitchen the other day. He made some vague threats, said that if I were his female, I’d have been flogged for being so disobedient. You were already focused on other things, and it seemed so trivial at the time that I didn’t want to bother you with it,” I rambled nervously, suddenly feeling silly for bringing such a minor detail to his attention.
Roarke tensed before leading me to his office, leaving me naked and vulnerable before him as he took his seat. How did I always end up naked when he was going to tell me off? His reaction told me all I needed to know: I wasn’t being silly; this was serious. Shifting foot to foot nervously, feeling my wolf cower before his dominant gaze, I kept my head down.
“This isn’t trivial,” he stated, his eyes never leaving my face.
I nodded, whispering, “I know.”
“You were wrong to keep it from me.”
Another solemn nod. “I know, Alpha.”
He was quiet a little longer, and I finally found the ability to move to take the seat in front of him. My leg bobbed nervously, waiting for his next words.
“Do you think he was behind my parents’ murders?” he asked, shocking me.
I expected a scolding, a punishment, for him to yell, not this.
My head lifted up, my eyes meeting his. His face was back to its impenetrable mask of calm, leaving me unsure of his feelings. Surely Roarke knew whether or not he believed that himself without needing my opinion; I hardly knew his parents, nor did I really know Alpha Robert enough. A wolf was definitely behind it, there was no doubt about that, and Alpha Robert seemed to be the only suspect, the only one Roarke had spoken about anyway.
I could feel every second that passed as I carefully mulled over his question. Was Alpha Robert capable of murder? Most definitely. Was he to be trusted? Absolutely not. But was he capable of going against the utmost laws of our kind, to betray his pack by killing two well-respected and powerful Alphas without challenge?
In truth, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think anyone could be that stupid.
Before I could answer, Ámhra opened the door, bouncing in with puppy-like delight before taking in our expressions and frowning. He leaned against the door frame, sucking on his teeth before asking, “Who kicked your puppy?”
I rolled my eyes at his jesting, even if his question was sincere. Roarke’s lips quirked the slightest bit but not enough to really call it a smile. Ámhra only winked at me as I gave him my best disapproving look that was hindered by my inability to take him seriously.
“There was an unknown scent in the woods, and Alpha Robert expressed his desire to flog me,” I muttered, avoiding the look Roarke gave me at my short and sweet rendition of events.
Ámhra raised an eyebrow and whistled. “Kinky.”
The phone rang before either of us could tell him off, and Roarke sighed, giving the Laoch and me both a look that said, “Behave.”
Picking it up, answering in a rather harsh tone, his attention was soon focussed on whatever was being said.
I tried not to laugh at Roarke having scolded an immortal warrior who was a thousand years or more older than him. Ámhra gave me a cheeky wink that had me covering my mouth. How could this man be such a high-ranked warrior of his people when he was unable to take anything seriously? His chief must be constantly exasperated…
“What do you mean? How could this have happened?” Roarke snapped, his hand hitting the table and drawing our attention back to him.
I jumped in my seat at the bang of his fist, and Ámhra was by my side quickly. Roarke’s emotions were all over the place through the bond, setting me and my wolf growling on edge. A lump was forming in my throat along with the urge to cry, but I knew these were really my mate’s feelings and that terrified me. What could possibly be so bad that he wanted to cry? Ruiraidh appeared at the door, his face grave, his eyes filled with sorrow as he looked at me. Something told me I knew what had happened, but my mind wouldn’t let me think it. Breathe, I told myself, in and out.
Roarke slammed the phone down and looked at Ruiraidh, who shook his head, only making my mate even more tense. His eyes met mine, and my breath caught in my throat as he reached across the table for my hand.
“Don’t panic,” he said softly, and I shook my head, pulling my hand away, not wanting to hear what he had to say.
“No,” I whispered. “I don’t want to know.”
Ámhra’s hand squeezed my shoulder, and I repeated my denial. When he opened his mouth to speak again, I wanted to cover my ears. I didn’t want to listen.
“Your parents and the convoy never made it past the border. I had wolves waiting there to report when they went past just to make sure.” He paused, his jaw tensing, and I no longer remembered how to breathe as I waited for him to continue. “Your parents’ van has been hit. Quillan and a few of our pack have gone to check it out. We’re not sure exactly what’s happened yet,’’ he explained, keeping his eyes on mine.
Ámhra muttered something under his breath before patting my head. “I’ll catch up with Quillan and make sure everything’s okay.”
I nodded numbly, not even noticing when he disappeared. My wolf growled and paced inside, wanting to see for herself, to make sure her family was safe.
“It wasn’t an accident,” I guessed, studying my mate’s face closely for any sign of a lie.
Butterflies in my stomach left me feeling queasy, an
d I leaned forward, sucking in a deep breath, forcing the panic down. I could freak out when I knew everyone was unharmed.
“The mystery wolf roaming around our land, your parents crashing not far from where his scent disappears, it’s too much of a coincidence. Make no mistake, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will have our revenge, I promise.”
“I want to go too,” I demanded, standing from my chair.
Roarke grabbed my hand again, his voice stern, his eyes glowing with the command of an Alpha. “Not yet, not until we know it’s safe. If it really wasn’t an accident, there could still be wolves who wish to cause harm in the area. I will not risk losing you.”
I nodded, feeling my eyes well with tears for the second time that day, letting my mate wrap me in his arms. I needed to know my parents were okay, that everyone else I knew were safe. I’d make Roarke take me to them as soon as he deemed it safe. Even a small crash could be fatal to the pup my mother carried. What wolf would put a pregnant female in danger? It was unthinkable, going against absolutely every one of instincts that made us protect our young.
A crow landed on the window, its inky feathers ruffled and beady black eyes watching me, it’s loud caw echoing through the room.
Chapter Seventeen
Goodbyes
Like a scene in a movie, the crash came into view as I stepped out of the car. Smoke billowed from my parents’ caravan, clouding it in a fog that only made the whole situation feel even more surreal than it already was. Roarke was speaking to me, but everything sounded muffled, as if I were underwater. My mother’s cries drifted towards me, making me look away from the ruined van and towards where she was crouched over a bundle of clothes, clinging to them. Zale was trying to move her away, but she growled and protested with glowing eyes, gripping the clothes tighter to her.
“Cathwulf?” Roarke murmured softly, his hands on my shoulder as he stepped in front of me, blocking my hysterical mother from view. “Cathwulf, did you hear what I said? Do you understand?”
Understand, what was there to understand? He had said something, told me something important, something that made my heart clench, my chest constrict, but everything was so blurry and I couldn’t remember. My hands were cold and tingling, but the breeze that billowed softly, moving the smoke with it, was warm. Roarke was frowning at me, his fingers brushing my cheek, his eyes glowing as his wolf rumbled, trying to coax mine out, but she was quiet in my mind as numb to the world as I was.
“She’s in shock,” Quillan stated. “You need to take her back. You should never have brought her here when we weren’t sure what the situation was.”
“I know that, but you know what she’s like. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and she had every right to demand to be brought here. I didn’t want to,” Roarke replied sharply, giving his Third a glare at the accusations thrown at him.
“She is not the Alpha, you are,” Quillan rebuffed quickly, his gaze fierce. “Your job is to protect her, and you’ve failed. She’s hurting.”
Roarke twisted, his hand on my arm even as he faced away. Quillan took a step back, his head dropping, neck bared to my mate in submission. I was glad he did. A fight wouldn’t be appropriate here.
“Forgive me, Alpha,” Quillan conceded. “I am just worried. This situation sets me on edge.”
Roarke nodded, his eyes flicking back to me. “It has us all on edge. Have Zale ensure Everett’s pack makes it back to his land safely, and inform his Third what’s going on. He’s in charge of his pack now. We are taking Kerra back with us. If we can’t find Eagan, he’s going to have to take care of the pack until I can figure out what the fuck to do.”
Quillan nodded, bowing slightly again, his eyes drifting to me in concern before going to make sure his Alpha’s orders were followed. I watched my mate run a hand through his hair, his expression strained. I had never heard his voice so hard, the cuss word he had used making me flinch. My father’s entourage lingered around the line of cars, tears staining their faces, their eyes filled with sorrow as they looked at me and then my mother. Her sobs had dulled into a strangled cry that had the hairs on my arm standing on edge with unnameable emotion. Roarke’s pack was speaking to the crowd, who nodded and began to get back in the cars, flanked by warriors before making their way down the road towards my father’s land. My father should have been here speaking to Roarke, trying to figure out what was going on. Eagan should have been here too; his scent was strong in the area, but I hadn’t seen him, and that made an uneasy feeling settle in my stomach. If my father wasn't with Roarke, should he not have been trying to comfort my mother?
“Cathwulf, can you hear me?” Roarke asked again, his hand on my cheek bringing me back a little.
I nodded, looking around at the bits of metal all over the road, finally finding my voice. “Where is my father? He needs to be working with you to find who did this.”
He gave me a sympathetic look, his thumb stroking over my cheekbone. Frowning, my mouth dry and heart thundering in my chest, I wished people would stop looking at me like that. It was making me try to remember something I knew I didn’t want to. My thinking was irrational; I knew this, but I didn’t care. The smoke cleared away a little with the next gust of wind, and it was then I saw it wasn’t clothing my mother was cradling in her arms.
“He didn’t make it, my female. I’m so very sorry.”
Grief, that was what my mother’s cry was full of.
***
“Kerra is finally asleep. The doctor says the pup is fine, but she’s to get as much rest as possible. The strain of a broken bond will be tough on her body, especially in her condition, not to mention the mental strain. I’ll check on her again in an hour or so and make sure she gets something to eat when she wakes. She’ll be okay,” Saba reassured me, even though I was only partially listening and had no will to reply.
I hadn’t spoken since I’d gotten back in the car, sitting in the back with my mother, who hiccupped and sobbed onto my shoulder. Each whimper that slipped from her, every time she begged the Gods to bring my father back, each time her fingers clenched tighter around my top, my heart broke a little more.
Guilt ate at me. I could have been a better daughter, a better member of his pack. I should never have tried to denounce my heritage as a wolf to go and play at human in University, something I knew disappointed him greatly. I should have been by his side, learning more, being better. I should have made him proud. Instead I had fought him every step of the way with his arrangement with Roarke when all he wanted was for me to thrive. His last words had been that he loved me. Hot tears streamed down cold skin; I wiped them away, refusing to cry anymore. I should have hugged him tighter before he left.
I had lost the chance to make him proud, to show him I could be everything he wanted me to be. My brother would never know his father, and my mother would forever feel as if she were missing part of herself; it was rare for wolves to take a second mate or companion, and I knew that my mother and father had a bond stronger than most. She would never find another.
My fingers wound and threaded through the blanket over my lap, eyes focused on the dancing flames in the fireplace that were blurred by the well of tears that I refused to let drop. Like my mother, I had stopped and started crying again more times than I could count. My throat was so raw that I wasn’t even sure if I still had the ability to talk.
“Is there anything I can do? I can make hot chocolate or some food. You haven’t eaten since this morning…” Saba trailed off, sighing softly when she realised she would get nothing from me but not letting that stop her from trying to fill the silence.
“Roarke will be back soon with Quillan. Do you want me to wait with you?”
Silence. I was mad at Roarke for leaving but, at the same time, glad he had taken his best trackers to find out exactly what had happened. Gods, my father’s pack would be in disarray. There was no heir, not until my brother was born, and he couldn’t exactly defend himself against challenges. Perhaps my old
pack respected my father enough to allow my mother to keep her position until my brother was grown enough to take over, but that was a longshot, practically a dream. Eagan would take over now. I should have gone to check on Oria, who had curled up by my mother when she got back. My father had been a better parent to my friend than her own father had been. This loss cut her bone deep, but I couldn’t get myself to move. If I moved, I would break down. If I spoke, I would scream. If I thought, I would go crazy.
“Are you warm enough? I can build the fire up or get you another blanket?”
I closed my eyes, wishing she would just go.
“There might be something on the TV? A movie might distract you—”
“I want to be left alone,” I snapped, my voice cracking. “That’s what I want. I don’t want to have to talk to anyone, I don’t want food or drink or a distraction, and I don’t want to have to think or talk. Please just leave me be.”
I didn’t mean to start crying again. As much as I held the flood back, speaking seemed to remind me this was all real. Saba was by my side in an instant, her thin arms wrapping tight around me, pulling me to her chest. She hushed me gently, not caring that her shirt was now soaked with my tears or that I was probably hugging her back tight enough to hurt. My whole body trembled with my cries and my head was pounding by the time the tears had dried, even though I couldn’t calm my breathing back down. The soothing noises of Saba’s wolf soon helped me settle again.
“Please drink something,” she pleaded quietly, worry for me seeping into her tone.
This female who I had only known a short time cared for me; her wolf cared for mine. I could see how distressed she was that I wouldn’t let her look after me so I relented, nodding.
“Just some water, please,” I croaked, embarrassed at how weak I sounded.
Destiny Page 121
