by M. D. Grimm
“I’m a nice guy. What can I say?”
Travis smiled, and Jack squeezed his shoulder before letting go.
“I know you are. Thanks for the help.”
Years ago, those words would never have left Travis’s mouth. They’d both changed. But Jack’s feelings for Travis had only grown deeper and stronger. Despite past relationships, he’d never been able to shake his need for the cougar.
“You’re always welcome,” Jack said. “So, about dinner?”
He wished Travis didn’t hesitate. It irritated him. He only had himself to blame for keeping Travis at arm’s length for so long. Then again, Travis had never been as warm and cuddly with him as he was with the kids. He also knew Travis had a dark past, and he didn’t want to frighten him away. But he felt it was time to take their relationship to the next level, if Travis was willing.
“Well.” Travis finished unpacking his groceries and proceeded to fold up the paper bags. “I’ll have to check my schedule. I have several deadlines and appointments, and I really need to brainstorm with Del.”
“Okay, then,” Jack said lightly, knowing he needed to get back on patrol. “Rain check? Don’t forget.”
Travis smiled. “I won’t. Promise.”
Jack took his leave reluctantly. When he was back outside, standing on the sidewalk, he knew he had more than just Travis’s resistance to work through. Jack’s stomach churned unpleasantly as a sudden cold wind slapped his face. His pack—and especially his father—were not going to like the fact that he was pursuing a cougar shifter as his possible mate.
Travis sat on his couch and rolled the beer bottle between his fingers. He wanted to date Jack. He really did. Time and distance had made their reunion sweeter. They’d both grown up, chosen their own paths, and discovered their callings. Then Jack had returned from college, and Travis had scented him. And yearned. Even his cougar had perked up and purred. Travis had tried to have relationships with others, to kill the simmering need but to no avail. When they renewed their friendship, all hostility gone, Travis knew he’d fallen hard. And it scared him.
Despite his best intentions, he’d formed connections. Impossible not to in such a town. Thousands of shifters lived openly, trusting the humans who lived alongside them, and it had amazed him. Still did at times. A small part of him had always considered that aspect of Haven a myth, but it had been proven true. Delilah was like a sister, and he kept in contact with Trixie and her family. He’d gone to Ciara’s graduation, both high school and college and couldn’t be prouder. The entire fox family had even visited him months before, staying at his house and exploring Haven and Sanctuary. He loved the neighborhood children, was friendly with the parents, and felt safe. Protected. Wanted.
Nothing would ever replace his birth family or scrub those last memories from his mind. But he had a new family now. A precious one he clung to tightly.
And yet Jack, sweet Jack, was different from all the rest. The loyalty and kindness he sensed in Jack was wrapped up with the strength of his will and the undercurrent of violence all predatory shifters shared. Travis wanted to reach out and touch him, discover him with his fingers, trace out his face and chin. He’d done so with others that allowed it but never with Jack, despite knowing Jack would jump at the opportunity.
Travis sighed and sipped his beer. He was scared. Not so much of Jack but his pack. His pack was the authority in Haven. Not just law enforcement but the mayor’s office. Certainly, there were other shifters on the city council and in other higher offices but the pack ultimately ruled over everyone. While they allowed each pack, herd, and group sovereignty within itself, theirs was the final word and the law. Which made sense, considering it was their ancestor’s pack, a shifter named Imelda, who had founded Haven so many years ago. A master wolf shifter.
Travis took another sip of his beer. He liked Jack, and clearly, the feelings were mutual. This wasn’t the first time Jack had made a move on him, with a tinge of arousal sweetening the air, and each time he was subtle and persuading. Travis had rebuffed him kindly, but wanted to make sure he kept Jack’s friendship. He was dependent on Jack’s presence in his life.
But… he’d have to tell Jack about his past. He was almost certain Jack’s father hadn’t shared the details Trixie relayed. His thirst for vengeance had grown dormant but never disappeared entirely. Yet he knew he was living the life his parents would want him to live. So to drudge it all back up and tell someone… it was too hard. He didn’t want to lose Jack’s respect by admitting he’d run away and hid.
Travis ran his fingers though his hair. He wanted to forget the pain and simply remember his family how they used to be. But how could he forget when he walked around with the consequences of that evil carved into his own face? Travis lifted his hand and lowered his shades, something he rarely did in the presence of another. Even during previous sexual encounters, the lights had been off or he’d taken positions that hid his face. The few lovers to see him had turned away in disgust.
Travis touched the skin around his eyes, felt the scars from the acid, still curious about what his eyeballs looked like. He wasn’t exactly sure why they had destroyed his eyes, perhaps to learn more about shifter biology, but whatever they’d been after, they didn’t get it.
His phone sounded, jolting him out of his miserable contemplation. “Delilah calling.”
He used Siri to answer. “Hey Del.”
“Hey. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be right over. That work?”
“Perfect. Got some good ideas.”
“Me too. See ya soon.”
They hung up. He continued to sit there, pondering. After finishing his beer, Travis pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed it. Then he touched the spot on his shoulder where Jack had touched him. He really shouldn’t get involved with a wolf shifter. They were so traditional, and Jack’s pack—especially his father—wouldn’t appreciate him dating a cougar. It was a cliché, but cats and dogs just didn’t mix. And yet, when they were together, he and Jack got along just fine, didn’t they? Hell, he and his cougar even liked Jack’s scent, the woodsy, almost canine scent that dogs got when they were outside too long. It was so uniquely him.
But if they got involved… he would have to tell Jack about his past. He would have to open up and relive the nightmare. To trust someone that much again… he didn’t know if he was ready.
Jack was wrong about him. Travis didn’t see things more clearly than other people. If nothing else, right now he’d never felt blinder.
Chapter Six
Jack sat at his desk that afternoon in the sheriff’s office, typing up a report. It was a modest building, but adequate for their uses. The front door opened into the main lobby and counter where his sister and senior deputy, Jena, had her station. Sometimes they had a young member of their pack staffing it, usually if school was out. Behind the counter were four other work stations and a small room to the left held the dispatch area. Jena managed the dispatch in tandem with a bear shifter, Rae. Bao spent most of her time patrolling since she detested writing reports.
The break room was opposite the dispatch and consisted of a counter with a coffeemaker and small fridge. In the back were filing cabinets lining the walls. A short hallway led down to the ten holding cells that were half occupied most of the time. Most offenders were thieves or drunkards, and they just needed a place to sit and stay out of trouble. Jack would usually fine them and give them manual labor to do—like shoveling snow or picking up trash. Work such as that never failed to make the offender think twice before committing the same crime again. And, because it was such a small town, everyone knew everyone else’s business. The offender’s identity never stayed hidden for long.
They also had a basement which held various supplies such as snow shovels, rope, extra food just in case they were stuck in the office, as well as handguns and rifles and riot gear. All precautionary, of course—none of the weapons had ever been used.
If they ever came across a more serious crimi
nal—a murderer for example—they’d let their kin decide their fate. Such a decision usually kept the peace. Though if murder happened between two different family groups of different species, that was always messy. Jack had been spared that sort of chaos so far.
A moment after Rae left the office to go on break, Jena spun around in her chair and eyed him. She raised an eyebrow. “I smell him on you.”
Jack paused in his typing to glance her way. “I’m afraid you might have to be more specific, sister dear. I rounded up a lot of he’s today—like Todd, a couple of peeping foxes, three skateboarding cousins of ours—”
“You know who I mean,” she said, rolling her eyes and sighing loudly. “The blind cougar you’ve always been sweet on.”
Jack glared at her, and his fingers tensed on the keyboard. “His name is Travis, Jena.”
His voice was cold. Jena leaned forward. “Brother, you know the pack won’t care what his name is. Or how nice he is.”
“Apparently, they aren’t the only ones,” Jack growled. He turned resolutely back to the computer screen and continued typing up his report. One of the many things that sucked about having his twin sister as a deputy was that she got to hammer away at him like this all day. He could avoid his pack most of the week, but Jena was always in his face. They’d even gone to the same university at the same time, and he’d been thrilled when she found her own group of friends and left him alone.
“Jack,” she said, her voice softer. “You know I like him. I have no problem with him. But, well, he’s not a wolf. He’s not for you.”
“What makes you think I want that?” He struggled to keep his voice calm.
“Because I know you,” Jena said. “I know how you are with those you like. I know your moves. Bao said you were stroll-patrolling the area around his house this morning.”
Jack reached out suddenly, gripping his sister’s wrist and squeezing it. He looked deep into her silver eyes and growled. “Stay out of my business, Jena. I mean it. I will deal with the pack my own way, but I need you to step back.” He glared for several more seconds. “I won’t ask you again.”
His wolf paced in frustration and the hair on the back of his neck rose. The need to dominate, to protect his territory, in this case his privacy, was making his urge to shift strong. He allowed the alpha inside him to come out, to show his sister where her place was. Her own wolf struggled for a moment before she lowered her eyes, her body slumping. Her submission satisfied him.
Jack let go of her and returned to his computer. Flexing his fingers, he attempted to soothe his primal side. He hated being at odds with his sister. They had been very close as children, never wanting to be apart. This was honestly the one thing they would never agree upon. His pack would never accept any shifter but a wolf as his mate. They didn’t advertise their prejudice toward the town’s few cross-species couples, but he could see the disapproval, even the disgust, in their eyes. It would break his heart to see that look directed toward him. But what was the alternative? Never to be with the one shifter he knew could make him happy the rest of his days?
Was he really going to sacrifice his future happiness for his pack’s approval? He’d followed every other role they wanted him to fill. But this one… he didn’t think he could.
He wanted Travis.
He’d had years to think, to analyze, to weigh his options and the risks. And in the end, the scales had always tipped in Travis’s favor. He’d dated other wolf shifters from other packs—he’d tried to be the good son, a good pack member. But he’d always known, deep down, that he was just… different. And the fact that he had a strong attraction to a feline only emphasized how different he was. He’d never seen Travis as a cougar, but he was sure Travis would be beautiful, graceful. He would have sleek muscles under golden fur and would be able to move in perfect silence. The wolf inside him began to pace once more, this time with arousal and curiosity.
“Mom’s making dinner for all of us tonight,” Jena said, and Jack knew she was trying to put their battle of wills behind her and to hide her sulk. “We’re allowed to bring our mates.” Jena looked right into his eyes.
Jack regarded her for several seconds. Then he smiled slightly. “Well, wouldn’t that be an awkward meal?”
Jena stared at him for a silent moment, and then bared her teeth slightly. “You asked him out, didn’t you? If anyone from the pack sees you—”
“Jena,” he said, his tone warning. “This is my problem, not yours. Do not bring it up again. Do you understand?”
She nodded slowly and struggled to keep her fear and anger hidden. She stood and moved to the dispatch room. She stepped inside and then turned back.
“Just one last thing,” she said, her eyes focused somewhere above his left shoulder. “It won’t just be you the pack makes trouble for. They’ll have it out for him as well. Think about that before you travel down the road to self-destruction.”
Then his sister shut the door, and Jack found himself unable to continue typing his report. He leaned back in his chair, sighed, and stared at the ceiling. She was right, of course. But Dammit. Then he snorted at his own annoyance. He always hated when she got the last word. He envied his other sister, Julie. She was away at medical school and saved from pack drama.
He supposed he should bring the issue up during their date. He should lay it all out and let Travis decide whether the two of them being together was worth the grief. Because there would be grief. Jena wasn’t kidding about his pack’s feelings on one of their own mating with a non-wolf. From his earliest years, Jack remembered his father’s speeches on loyalty and dignity. There was punishment for disloyalty to the pack, and his pack would see his relationship with Travis as a betrayal. He imagined the top of his father’s head blowing off. As to his mother? Hard to say. She might be like Jena—she didn’t have a problem with Travis if he remained unconnected to Jack.
Jack hoped to Phoenix that Travis thought they were worth it. He could face his pack with one cougar shifter by his side. He would challenge the pack’s traditions, and even if he couldn’t convince all of them, if he could convince his father or even his mother, that should help bring acceptance to his choice. He loved his pack, he understood their traditions, but sometimes, there had to be a change, a transition. And if it had to be Jack who incited the change, then so be it. But that might be like changing the migratory pattern of a flock of birds. It could have disastrous results.
“Damn,” Jack seethed and grabbed his hat, then stomped out onto the sidewalk. He need movement, he needed….
The mountains of Glacier National Park were giants in the distance. The green of the forests, the snow-covered grass, and crystal blue of the rivers beckoned. That was what he needed: freedom. It had been weeks since he’d indulged his wolf. Well, that was about to change! It was a slow day, and Jena could call on the part-time deputies for backup. It was time to be a little selfish.
Jack radioed Jena to inform her of his early departure and disconnected before she could lecture him again. He jumped into his personal truck and sped off, arriving at his destination in less than twenty minutes. The official patrol vehicle had a GPS tracker, and he deserved some damn privacy.
Jack drove his truck into the wilderness, hiding it by pulling off into a small clearing, as he’d done many times before. A light dusting of snow covered the ground, and his truck wheels crunched over it. Various animal footprints marred the white, and his own would soon join them. He got out of the truck and sensed his surroundings. The forest was quiet, but he could feel the life hidden in the trees and farther into the mountains. The cold air caressed his face, and he shivered as he began to strip. This was the part he always hated—he felt so vulnerable during this process, before he had shifted.
He felt eyes on him but not the presence of another shifter. The trees hid most of the sky from view, and the snow bit at his bare feet. He took a deep breath… and shifted into a dark brown, nearly black, wolf. No pain, no discomfort as the air shimmered and
pulsed. It was entirely natural, for this was the other part of his soul. His senses sharpened. The musical sounds of the forest penetrated his ears, and the smell of other wolves and elk filled his nostrils. Now that he was covered in his wolf pelt, the cold breeze no longer bothered him. Instead, it actually invigorated him, gliding over his thick coat. The pads of his paws rested securely on the earth, knowing it, remembering it, welcoming back the touch that was so much more potent than any feeling brought by the booted, tender human foot. He shook himself. Instinct took over thought, making it easy to forget his troubles, to simply be.
He howled in triumph and sheer joy, hearing the few prey animals nearby scatter in fear. And he ran, ran faster and with more agility than a human ever could. The burn of his muscles and the scrape of branches over his sides and back felt like heaven. And still he ran faster, putting more distance between himself and the pack, as if by doing so he might gain emotional distance. He soared over a fallen tree and burst into a snow-covered field where a few remaining stalks of tall grass slapped eagerly at his face. Hearing the river, he headed toward it, jumping and barking, for the moment as silly and happy as a puppy. The sleek mountains pointed up to the sky as if preening, showing off how beautiful they were with the sun shining on their proud heights.
Jack rolled on the snowy ground, dampening his pelt, and then a scent struck his nose—a scent he knew well but hadn’t smelled in a long time. He moved to his feet and crouched low, his belly nearly touching the freezing snow. He raised his head slightly, peering intently at the creature that had caught his attention. A large elk walked proudly out of the safety of the trees and toward the river. His thick coat protected him from the cold, and his antlers spread majestically from his head, indicating his dominance and age. Instinct took over Jack and he braced his body. He started to slink forward. Though he usually hunted with a pack, he’d become successful in his solo attempts.
