I really need to go easier on her.
But, how can she say my life is perfect?
Just because she doesn’t know the whole arrangement between Connor and I doesn’t mean she has the right to judge me.
My face grows hotter as I cross my arms.
“You have a seat on the board of one of the most successful energy companies in the country. I wouldn’t complain about that. You’re also practically engaged to Connor Bradford; a million girls would kill to be in your position,” she whines.
She’s apparently one of those girls.
Connor is a blip to me.
“Then, you can be me,” I tell her flatly.
“You don’t realize how lucky we are? To live this life? Small price to pay for cold feet,” she says.
“It’s not cold feet,” I reply, past annoyed, verging on rage territory now.
Hazel doesn’t understand.
To everyone else, we are a perfect couple.
I think even Connor is starting to believe it.
“Then what is it? Is it Noah?” she pesters.
“It has nothing to do with Noah!” I lie. “That’s ancient history!”
I am suddenly raising my voice at her.
“You did sleep with him, and then you avoid having sex with Connor, telling him you were waiting for marriage when you and Noah had a goddamn pregnancy scare?” she reminds me.
“I regret everything with Noah,” I lie instantly. “Okay? It was a goddamn mistake. I make mistakes too,” I insist.
“And then you take us to a party where you know he could be…” she trails off.
“I didn’t even know he was in Miami!” I yell at her.
That’s a bald-faced lie.
Hazel presses her lips together because I’m suddenly aware she knows this.
“You saw Evan, remember? You told me you saw Evan. Did he not happen to mention where his father was when you said you were going on a trip?” she accuses.
I say nothing.
“Well, I saw Connor! Two weeks ago at Harry Winston! Looking at rings! Something is up in that department! If you don’t want to be engaged to him, you’d better tell him fast!” Hazel warns.
“He knows how I feel,” I come back.
My tone verges on rude, but despite her yelling I try to stay calm, keep my voice even and to not raise it again.
I want Hazel to stay out of my fake relationship for once.
“We talked about it right before I left. I’m in no rush, and he’s well aware. He always has been,” I explain.
“Then why don’t you just end it?” she asks me angrily.
“Why are you being strange about this?” narrowing my eyes, I study her for a long moment. “This is my relationship; if you don’t like how I feel, you’re fully welcome to leave,” I let her know.
“Fine,” Hazel spits, rolling her eyes at me. “I don’t like spoiled children anyway!” she yells and then stomps off, and I’m bewildered as CeCe runs back towards me.
“What just happened?” she asks.
“Your sister is acting like a maniac?” I suggest, then sigh, feeling slightly hurt.
“I should go after her,” I sigh.
“I will,” CeCe shakes her head, “It’s your birthday. Stay. I’m about to close on Noah Stone, and she does this,” she complains.
“We will be right back, okay?” she calls over her shoulder.
And then, CeCe disappears through the crush of people, off the boat.
Leaving me with a hoard of friends, but stranded without the two people, I need most.
However, I am right.
I need to end things with Connor before any of this goes any further, and I refuse to play this game any longer.
My racing thoughts, however, refuse to settle, with my heart pumping at maximum everything feels too loud and too bright.
Breathing in short, small gasps I make my way inside Noah’s yacht and find a bedroom to call Connor.
He picks up immediately.
“Hey, are you okay?” his voice sounds detached.
“We can’t get engaged,” I blurt out.
“Listen,” Connor stops typing the background. “You and I, are going to end up together anyway. You can’t tell me the past six years have been all bad?” he whines.
I take a deep breath.
“You know we need this merger to work Tinsley. Both of our companies,” he says, all business, of a sudden.
He simply presents the facts.
“I realize that cold feet are something that happens, but Tinsley is there really anyone else in the picture for you? No. There’s no one else in the picture for me, either,” he says.
But, I get a hint of something dishonest in his admission.
“Connor…” I can’t protest.
I won’t give up my affair with Noah.
I can’t even bring myself to care about Connor’s admission.
The pull towards Noah is so strong that I don’t care about anything else.
I start biting my long nails then immediately stop myself.
“Tinsley, we will get married, the wedding will be everything you want it to be, and everything will work out,” Connor’s voice comes out of the speaker.
His ‘client's voice’ is in place.
He uses this voice to placate clients who are angry or upset.
Now, he’s trying to do the same to me; I feel a little calmer but not by much.
“Come on, it’s not all that bad, is it?” He suggests, when I still say nothing.
“No, I guess it’s not,” I admit.
“Alright, see you in Manhattan, Tins,” Connor says.
I know he thinks he’s won.
“Bye, Connor,” and I hang up.
The bedroom I’ve found is probably Noah’s.
It’s so luxurious for a yacht; I’m tempted to tell my father to buy one.
Or, Connor and I can, once we are married.
If that happens.
“Who was that?” Noah asks, sipping a whiskey as always, as he strolls into his bedroom.
“I need a drink,” I tell him simply.
Noah takes a seat beside me on the bed, leaving no space between us as he hands me his whiskey.
“Here you go. Need to talk about it?” he asks.
“No,” I shake my head.
I cannot talk about marriage, with the man I always thought I would end up married to.
That’s all been wiped away.
I down the whiskey, and then, I throw my arms around Noah’s neck.
I give him a passionate kiss that sends my head spinning.
I can feel how much the loss of him has affected me, deep down in my insides; there is a hollow feeling, even though I’m with him.
When I finally push him away, I’m convinced that was our last kiss.
I only have seven words for Noah Stone.
“I just had to do that once,” I say, and I walk out.
Without a buffer, it’s clear I need to stay away from that man.
He’s always been my vice, and I refuse to fall into the same trap.
Though I don’t regret things, I do regret walking away when I did.
However, we ended things, they were over.
At least sort of.
It was impossible to stay away from him when we ran into each other in Venice shortly after.
Then that became our spot.
Connor was never even suspicious about my trips becoming more frequent.
Idiot!
Noah’s shown no desire to start things up again, despite all of this.
Then, of course, there’s my impending engagement.
So, I try to blend seamlessly into the party.
It is a great party.
Everyone insists on getting me a drink, and it’s easy to mingle and pretend to be the happy go lucky birthday girl with a tiara placed on my head.
Hazel is obviously jealous.
She’s got no one and nothing.
Diego and Hazel dated for four years before he ended it to go back to Spain.
She was crushed that he didn’t want her to go with him.
I have myself almost convinced she would return before the yacht leaves for its cruise, but neither Wellington sister does.
I have a feeling this may not blow over, which leads to another phone call I don’t want to make.
“Hazel is insisting on going home. We’re at the airport,” CeCe reports.
My stomach sinks.
“Are you serious?” I practically scream into the phone. “We came here together, and you’re just leaving me here?” I ask.
Noah is at my side in an instant.
I can see him mouthing the words; he will get me home in one piece.
I wave a finger at him, no, and tell him to hush.
“I’m sorry,” CeCe offers.
“Well it’s done now,” I sigh. “I guess I’ll see you both back home.”
I hang up feeling frustrated.
“They left you here?” Noah is almost laughing.
“They’re leaving me here,” I correct him. “And I am perfectly capable of finding my way back to Manhattan thank you,” I remind him.
“I know that,” he laughs.
His snark doesn’t concern me.
“I am not your concern,” I say.
“I didn’t say you were,” he replies.
I do not detect a hint of the feelings he once had in his voice.
All those years ago, when he broke my heart, I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow him to break it ever again.
Why did I kiss him!
So stupid!
I note the whiskey in his hand, taking it from him and downing the whole drink, before walking away.
All of this would be incredibly romantic if there were a man in my life that I loved, if my life were not so complicated.
I know the feelings are still there, and I proceed to order another whiskey from the bar.
I make it a double, and then mingle among the party, watching the daylight turn to dusk.
Noah follows me.
“You're unreasonable, let me get you a ticket back,” he tries.
“I can get home on my own,” I insist.
“You should leave tomorrow,” he says.
“I am!” I yell.
Screaming at him isn’t something I normally do.
“What do you care!” I yell, again.
“I don’t,” he says.
Noah, the most eloquent man I know, shrugs his shoulders.
Always putting an obstacle between us!
However aware of my own feelings I am, he is apparently not.
“Okay,” I shrug back at him.
We’re at an impasse, and I smack him, before storming off, right past Alexander Bradford.
“Hey, Tins!” Alex’s cheerful voice stops me.
“Why the rush? What’s up? Are you okay?” he says, walking after me.
“I’m fine,” I sneer at him.
Then I reason that Alex is a decent sort.
“My friends I came with left me here, over a stupid fight,” I explain.
Connor’s older brother shakes his head.
Unlike Connor, Alex has a soul.
He prefers to travel the world and live a life of leisure on his investments.
He’s also much more attractive, and nice.
He does a lot of charity work too, which is something I believe Connor never entertained.
“What was the fight about?” Alex asks, not caring.
Connor and Alex have never gotten along from day one.
“I want to break up with your brother,” I explain flatly.
“Do it. Show him he can’t have everything handed to him,” Alex shrugs.
What does he care if his brother’s life falls apart?
“Let’s play a drinking game,” he suggests.
I take him by the hand to the bar.
“What kind of drinking game?” I ask.
Alex doesn’t look the least bit worried.
Maybe he’s intrigued, since I’ve always valued myself to be not much of a drinker.
“Every time we name something annoying that Connor does, we drink,” I lay out the rules.
“Tins, you are a bad girl after all,” he laughs.
Alex’s snark doesn’t get past me.
“Yeah well, piss me off enough, and you might just see my wild side,” I warn, taking a mock swipe at him.
“Tinsley Whittaker, you are impressive,” he says, marveling.
Alex motions to the bartender for more whiskey.
“Bring us four shots, each!” he orders.
The bartender pours out eight whiskey neats.
“I’m going to start,” I announce. “Because your brother seems intent on proposing to me when I told him I wasn’t ready and wanted to wait another couple of years,” I shout, and slam the drink down my throat.
The whiskey burns.
Alex groans, and I know he knows there’s more to what I’ve said.
“That fucking brother of mine! Drink two! And stay in Miami while you’re at it,” Alex says with a slight sneer.
The urge to probe Alex for information is why I take another shot.
I’ve never done shots before in my life, and they burn all the way down.
It’s almost like I can feel it in my nose and I take a sip of his beer.
“You good?” he asks.
Nodding at him, I point to indicate that it is his turn.
“Alright, my brother scored the one girl I had a crush on because my dad likes him better,” Alex smirks at me.
He’s talking about me.
Holy shit!
This is mind-blowing.
“What, you didn’t know?” Alex shrugs.
“I had no idea,” I tilt my head, never having considered any option but Noah. “Why?” I ask, astounded.
“Let’s see, headstrong, smart; you don’t take my brother’s crap, you hate that he’s a lawyer, you don’t let people push you around,” he goes about making a list.
Then, Alex shrugs, again.
He’s got a wry look on his face.
Like he’s weighing the odds on something.
“Also, you’re gorgeous but if I say that I’m an asshole,” he admits.
That much is true.
In the last few years, I’ve stopped letting people push me around.
Noah made me open my eyes and realize that I had to save myself.
My father somehow managed to put me right back where I started.
This is bad.
“Connor probably had something to do with moving my trust investments around, so that I lost my job?” I direct my question to Alex.
“I don’t know anything about that, to be honest. It wouldn’t surprise me. He hated that you had that job,” Alex states the obvious.
We both knew this.
Thinking about this for a moment I realize that going along with this charade for as long as we have been was an even bigger mistake when I could’ve been dating real men.
When I could’ve been falling in love instead of pining for Noah.
Noah Stone, who’s moved on from Tinsley Whittaker.
It’s too hard to think that I might still love him.
“Is there anyone else?” Alex asks me.
“I mean, you and my brother just don’t seem right together. On paper you’re perfect, but. I don’t see it,” he says.
“How doesn’t anyone else pick up on that?” I ask Alex slowly, pushing another shot towards him. “I mean, you can see it.”
“Clear as day,” he agrees.
“Well, Alex, sad to say, there’s no one else,” I tell him.
“So, if you’re breaking up with my brother…” Alex raises an eyebrow.
“Are you hitting on me, Alexander?” I ask, feeling a bit tipsy all of a sudden.
“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” he says, smiling.
Alex rubs my lower back
gently.
“Don’t worry. I’ll wait until after you two break up. In the meantime, you have my number. Annoying thing Connor does? Taking you for granted,” he says, then slams a shot.
“That I can agree with. He doesn’t appreciate me at all,” I say.
My voice sounds hollow.
How much time have I wasted?
Maybe I was career driven and focused on school, doing what I wanted with my life, but what good is that when you’re alone?
I’m going to be twenty-six next year, and there is no man in sight.
Fake relationships are just that - nothing.
They can blow away in the wind.
Connor tricked me into wasting time, my father tricked me into the company, and somehow believed that I was in control of my life again.
But I’m not.
Then, Alex says something that gives me chills.
“They have an engagement party planned for October third, by the way,” he tells me.
He’s not kidding around anymore.
“I just don’t want you to be thrown off if he doesn’t take it all that well,” he says.
The thought of them planning an engagement party makes me realize I’ve been duped.
“What?” I turn to Alex. “Are you serious?”
“At the Plaza,” he confirms.
“I may need more alcohol,” I say.
I reach for my next shot, my hands shaking.
17
Noah
September 19, 2015
When I find Tinsley lounging on her back, staring at the stars on the bow of my yacht I am concerned for her.
Mostly because she is muttering to herself.
We docked an hour ago, and I’ve found her just now, after saying goodbye to everyone else.
She was the only one missing.
Tinsley isn’t one to not say goodbye, and here she is, loaded.
“Tinsley?” I look down at her, sprawled across the white padding, her hair going in every direction.
She looks delicious to me, and I could devour her in seconds if given a chance.
Chasing her away is proving to be hard.
“Why won’t you just love me?” she asks, in a strained voice.
“You’re drunk,” I explain smoothly.
It’s well past two in the morning, and she’s going to miss her flight.
In any case, a quick call to have her bags delivered here is in order.
Torrid Page 18
