Silently she stood there and watched him. His movements seemed to her unspeakably powerful, skilful, and supple, almost like a dance. Amon managed to make the fight seem elegant, so that one no longer even thought of an act of violence, that one forgot that these weapons were there to kill people. She couldn’t get away from the sight and remained at the window, even though her feet were freezing. Now, down there, he didn’t look the least bit weak or ill. Had he already recovered that much?
Yesterday he had looked like pale death itself.
The cold crept relentlessly up Lilli’s legs, so that she briefly stopped to get her slippers. When she ran back to the window, Amon had already finished his fight and was just about to hand over his equipment to a servant. She saw him go back to the castle, then he was gone.
Lilli ordered breakfast, which was surprisingly delivered to her by Sophia, who looked like she was flourishing. Berard had announced that he would stitch up the wound today and was confident that Florian would soon be back on his feet. Sophia chatted, told Lilli all sorts of news that hardly interested her, but she was happy to see Florian’s mother so cheerful now. The whole room seemed to brighten in this mood and when Sophia had disappeared, Lilli set about a new painting. This time she dragged the easel and paints into the garden without telling a servant. She wanted to be alone and think while she painted. She decided in favour of the gate to the poison garden with its beautiful wall and the plants behind it. In the process, she changed the angle of the light, added fantastic plants, so that the garden looked like an enchanted endless park.
In the early afternoon, the wind picked up and Lilli carried her almost finished work back to the castle so that no gust would smash the easel on the path and destroy everything.
In her room there were fresh flowers and, more recently, a bowl of appetising fruit. Lilli suspected that Sophia had provided these things.
She glanced out of the window, but there was no one in the courtyard. Not even a tall young man with black hair. Lilli felt a slight disappointment and at the same time ashamed of this thought. What was that all about? That was laughable.
She poked around her room and saw the book on a cushion in her reading corner. She took it, settled on her bed, and read the last few pages before closing it and staring at the door.
A moment later she was on her way to Amon’s room with the book under her arm.
As the day before, he did not answer when she knocked, and again she entered, but this time immediately went to the curtain and peered cautiously behind it. He was lying on the bed, but this time fully conscious and with a book in his hand, even if he seemed rather pale overall. Was he feeling bad again?
“You again?” he asked, looking up from his book only briefly.
“I just wanted to return this.” Lilli held up the borrowed book.
“Put it on my desk. Thank you.” Amon continued to read.
Lilli hesitated for a moment.
“Are you feeling better?” she asked. The king sighed.
“I’m sorry. I know this is nosy and improper to ask. But I am worried about you. You should see a doctor.”
“You needn’t worry, Lilliana. Besides, you will soon be back with your father in your native land.” He did not look at her.
“But I’m still here now.” Lilli took a step closer. “May I ask you something?”
Amon lowered the book and looked up. “You won’t give it a rest after all. Then ask.”
“Do you protect your face in your sleep because you are afraid your brother might come back?” She watched him closely at this question but saw no anger in his face.
“He is dead. He cannot come back. Because I killed him.” Amon’s expression betrayed nothing of his thoughts.
“Then why do you cover your face? He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I don’t know. Habit.”
“It’s a terrible story,” Lilli said gently. “Is that why there are no mirrors hanging in the rooms? I haven’t seen one yet. Yet your scars have healed quite well.”
“You talk and talk.” Amon had gone paler again, but to Lilli’s surprise swung his legs out of bed and stood up. He came up to her and grabbed her by the arm, not very gently. Surprised, she let him pull her towards a cupboard, which he opened with his other hand. And then she saw him and herself in the large mirror inside the cupboard doors. Saw him standing behind her. Lilli gasped, tore herself away and ran out of the room. She ran blindly down the corridor, around a corner, into the next corridor. Then she stopped and breathed heavily. It was impossible to see what she had seen. It was out of the question! Amon had been standing behind her and he had looked ... like in the painting. The scars – horribly disfiguring they ran through his face. Stripping him of every human feature, every expression.
Witchcraft?
She understood that he had wanted to show her why he did not look in the mirror. Perhaps he had only wanted to counter her intrusive questions with this rudeness. But she was not blind! What she had seen in the mirror was not there. There was nothing more to be seen in his face than those bright, faded lines.
Basically, Lilli didn’t believe in magic. But could she have been so wrong?
She looked for an open window to feel the sun. She needed a door to the real world at that moment. Sunshine, wind, and the innocent song of small birds. After breathing the fresh air for a while, she felt better. She even concluded that perhaps the twilight had cast shadows on Amon’s face through the heavy curtains, creating this illusion.
That must have been how it was. Lilli brushed loose strands of hair from her forehead and took another deep breath. Then she turned and went back to Amon’s room. She would see for herself what was there and what wasn’t. A short time later, she stood in Amon’s study again and peered through the curtain.
The king had apparently fallen asleep, again with his arm over his face. Lilli stepped closer and wondered what Amon would do to her if he caught her here again. Why couldn’t she leave him alone either?
Terrible. But she at least wanted to know about the scars. There had to be an explanation for that.
Indecisive, she stopped and watched the sleeping man. His hand twitched in what must have been a stressful dream. He made a tortured sound, almost like a whimper. Lilli carefully settled on the edge of the bed, then gently placed her hand on his arm, which covered his face.
“It’s all right. Nothing is happening,” she whispered. Carefully she pulled on his arm and he gave way. His face ... there was nothing but the fine light lines.
Of course, there wasn’t. The mirror had played a trick on her in the light, nothing more. Amon was breathing heavily, his eyelids twitching. The dream must still be tormenting him.
On impulse, she put her hand on his, stroking his skin gently. In fact, it seemed to calm him down a little. Even as she sat there, she heard a noise. Someone was coming in! A servant?
Whoever it was, it could end embarrassingly if they were caught here. Lilli got up and slipped into the dark corner to the mirrored wardrobe, where she hid behind one of the heavy, floor-length curtains.
Not a moment too soon, because barely a breath later Constance came in. She went quietly to Amon and bent over him. Then she took the cup from the small table beside his bed. She glanced into the vessel, then looked again at Amon and went out again.
Lilli waited until she was sure that Amon’s sister had left the room, only then did she come out of hiding.
She waited a moment longer, then sneaked out into the corridor. She had risked enough for today.
She spent the rest of the day thinking and faintly hoping that Amon would seek her out to talk to her. But nothing of the sort happened. As night fell, an idea occurred to her.
6
“Who wishes to speak to me?”
Lilli heard the king’s voice outside the stable. She herself stood trembling in a hutch and waited until the stable boy had answered his master in an anxious voice. Amon’s mood was not at its best. And she hoped this would
change in a moment. Her plan was a bit risky, but better than nothing, and in the worst case she would just apologise to him and he would laugh at her or at least smile.
The door was pushed open, and she saw his slender silhouette against the light.
“Lilliana? Are you here? What is this now?”
Lilli took a breath and then stepped out into the stable aisle. He stared at her and his eyes seemed to widen considerably.
“You are wearing trousers?” Amon asked and Lilli almost laughed at his horrified tone.
“Have you never seen a woman in trousers?” she asked.
“Probably no more than you have seen a man in a ball gown,” Amon replied, seemingly unable to stop staring at her.
“I’ve seen plenty of young men in ball gowns,” Lilli said, waiting a moment longer on purpose before adding, “In the theatre. Don’t you ever go to the theatre?”
“I don’t see the point,” Amon said, looking a little more relaxed.
“So now, before you start thinking up wild stories about why I’m going to sneak into your stable in stable boy’s clothes and send for you, let me explain everything.” Lilli bent down and retrieved the stuffed saddlebag from the shed.
“Yes, I very much request an explanation.” Amon folded his arms in front of his chest.
“Yesterday I must have pushed you too hard. I am sorry for that. I was worried about you, that was all. Please forgive me if I was strenuous. Are you feeling better today?” Lilli looked at him sincerely.
“Yes ... I am better.” Amon’s gaze lingered on the saddlebag.
“Then you forgive me?”
“There is nothing to forgive. I frightened you in front of the mirror too.” With an erratic gesture, he brushed his hair from his face. “What are you up to, Lilliana?”
“Well, I thought you might enjoy a little ride. I haven’t seen anything of the area yet and I’m growing weary in my room. And who better to show me around than you?” She gave him a smile and thought she saw his face soften a little.
“I ... well you can’t be serious.” He cleared his throat briefly and glanced over his shoulder. Was the king embarrassed? Lilli grinned.
“Why shouldn’t I be serious? Or are you too weak to ride?”
Amon’s face grew dark again.
“No.”
“Wonderful then! Your horse still needs to be saddled. Your stable boys wouldn’t do that.”
“Because I always do it myself.” Amon walked past her to the saddle room and Lilli was pleased that she had still been able to get him to do it. He got his horse out of the stable, a beautiful, strong grey horse, and she watched with fascination how quickly and skilfully he went about saddling the horse. She liked the fact that he himself became involved when it came to his horse and did not leave the work to the servants. Amon checked the girth again, then led his horse out into the yard. A strange excitement seized Lilli, which she could not explain, as she pulled her horse behind her by the reins. She had already fastened the saddlebags while Amon had taken care of his animal.
“Who shall accompany you, Your Majesty?” the stable master inquired, holding the horse for his master. Amon swung up into the saddle and Lilli admired the ease with which he did so. His weak moment of yesterday did not fit into this picture at all. The king took hold of the reins and immediately his horse put up his ears attentively. The two seemed to know each other well.
“We don’t need an escort. It won’t take long,” Amon said, turning his horse towards the gate.
“But Your Majesty ...”
Amon gave the man a look that almost made him stumble and then made a hasty effort to hold Lilli’s horse so she could mount. As he did so, he failed to hide the added confusion on his face at her appearance.
Shortly afterwards, Lilli trotted after the king, who steered his horse first through the main gate and, after a short distance, onto a small forest path down the valley. Immediately she was welcomed by the damp coolness of the dew-heavy leaves, which cleared any dust from the air and allowed Lilli to breathe freely. Her horse calmly followed its fellow and snorted contentedly. She spurred it to an easy trot and caught up with the king. Only when she rode beside him did she let the horse walk again.
“Where are we riding?” Lilli asked, looking expectantly at Amon. She was still a little surprised that he had gone along with it and even ordered everyone else to stay behind.
“Wherever you wish. It was your wish. Not mine.” Amon continued to look straight ahead, but it did not escape her notice that he glanced briefly over at her.
“But it was you who insisted we ride alone,” Lilli retorted. This king was as stubborn as a laundress.
“Yes.” That was all he said. Wonderful, that could mean anything.
“Was I exhausting yesterday?” Lilli went on. She had to know. Find out what he thought of her.
“A little, Your Highness. Is it customary in your country to invade the resting room of strange men and lecture them?”
“It wasn’t quite like that!” Lilli held on to the saddle as her horse abruptly took a hop over a branch. “Besides, you were unwell. I was worried ...”
Now he actually gave her a quick look.
“What should you be worried about? That’s nonsense.” He looked straight ahead again.
“When someone faints in front of me, it’s not nonsense!” Slowly she became angry. If it had been her father who had spoken to her like that, she would have turned back and left him alone in the forest. But Amon wouldn’t mind at all. In the end, he would still be happy to ride out alone – without her! But what happened if she left him alone and he fainted again? What if he fell and broke his neck? Suddenly she was not at all happy to be here alone with him.
“You are not responsible for me, Princess, I have already said that.” It was as if he had guessed her thoughts and, strangely, it softened her mood. But only a little.
“I wonder why you ride out with me so willingly when I am so unbearable,” Lilli said, trying not to sound offended.
“You asked for it and you are my guest.” Again, that brief look in her direction. “And it has made me curious, I admit it ... your appearance in those clothes. What is your purpose in doing so? Why this excursion? Do you really want to discover the area?”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?” She wouldn’t make it too easy for him now.
“Because you will be leaving again. It should be of no interest to you.” Amon steered his horse into a sloping side path and Lilli struggled a little to follow.
“Just because I’m leaving at some point doesn’t mean I have to be bored while I’m here. You could have said no.”
“I know. But firstly, I wanted to ask your forgiveness anyway for being so hard on you. I hope I didn’t hurt you.” Now he was looking her straight in the face and she felt her cheeks heat slightly. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice!
“Already forgotten. And secondly?” she asked, now curious.
“Secondly ... I have been somewhat impressed by your behaviour. It was a fascinating new experience.”
“What?” Unfortunately, her cheeks were getting even warmer now.
“That you were anxious and then waited out front to see if I needed anything. I found that unusual because you have none of it. You do not seek my possessions; you have no disadvantage in ignoring me. Nor are you afraid of me. So, you did it for other reasons. Something I don’t come across often. Most people around me are driven by their own advantages and disadvantages when they act.”
Lilli was now somewhat surprised by this explanation.
“And I am surprised that you do not find me repulsive at all, even downplay the scars on my face as if they were minor. Every look in the mirror reminds me of that night ...” Amon paused for a moment. She heard him inhale. “... That I am disfigured is not a problem for me. But what happened haunts me. And the moment you came so close to me and my fate, that’s when anger gripped me.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Lilli said, meanin
g it sincerely. “I am sorry. I find your scars small indeed. When I first saw you, I could not understand why such a fuss was made.” She looked over at Amon and the incredulous look on his face almost made her laugh. “Has no one told you yet?”
“Why would anyone tell me anything, with every mirror showing me proof to the contrary? Perhaps there is something wrong with your eyes too.”
Very briefly, the sight of him in the mirror came back to Lilli’s mind and she tried to push the image away. Amon certainly perceived his own mutilation even more than it actually was.
“I have a proposition to make,” Lilli said, realising that she was getting his full attention. “For this day, when we are alone, let us forget your scars and all that was. Let us play a game. You are a king and show a dear guest your possessions. Most of all, I would like to see a river or some other body of water.” She smiled at him and to her amazement a small smile flew across his face too. She had never observed that on him before.
“A dear guest dressed as a stable boy?” asked Amon.
“Why not?” Lilli grinned. “One clearly has a better seat on the horse. Why is it always the men who get to do that?”
Amon shook his head slowly, but she saw him smile again. Quickly he turned his head away, as if he didn’t want her to detect that emotion in him.
“I will show you, the most impressive body of water my kingdom has to offer, if you like.«
The water rushed thunderously down from a rock that would surely have towered above the king’s castle in height. The Grauemfall thundered into a canyon, foaming up the water, turning it into a seething mass that flowed away in wild waves and only cleared and calmed down further downstream, so that the river Grauem changed again from bubbly white to a clear green.
Amon had been right, it was impressive, and so they stood at the foot of the rock formation for a while, watching the natural phenomenon. Further up, Lilli recognised the castle in the mist of the Grauemfall. It was amazing that the drops of water made it up to the castle. She thought of the misty air that she had noticed as soon as she arrived. When she asked Amon about it, he explained to her that this did not come from the Grauemfall itself, but from small waterways, numerous little brothers of the actual waterfall, which tumbled over the rocks here and there and finally united to form a mighty stream. However, he had to shout his explanations against the thundering of the water, so they decided to ride further downstream.
The Scar-Faced King Page 8
