She inhaled audibly.
“What is it?” Amon enquired. “Did you find something?” He sat beside her, elbow propped on the table, looking curiously at the pages of the book.
“Um, no.” Lilli hastily continued to turn the pages. She squinted over at Amon. He didn’t seem tired, yet she couldn’t stay here forever. Only the longer she thought about it, the more insurmountable the way to her room and the night alone with the two eerie pictures seemed. Tomorrow she would return the painting to the chamber where she had first seen it. She had not minded the scarred face so much before, but now that she had seen that look in the mirror that did not belong to Amon ...
“You have something, don’t you?” echoed Amon. He touched her lightly on the arm. Lilli turned her head towards him and immediately he withdrew his hand. “Excuse me.”
Lilli smiled and put her hand on his forearm, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric, which was strangely exciting.
“It’s fine,” she said, “you’re right. I do have something. But this is terribly embarrassing.”
A smile flitted across Amon’s face. He placed his hand over Lilli’s fingers on his arm. Instantly his warmth penetrated her cold hand. My goodness, how could he have such warm hands in the cool evening air?
“Tell me, please.”
“No, then you laugh.”
“Never. I would never laugh at you.”
His fingers stroked the back of her hand, barely noticeably, and Lilli felt a slight dizziness. Why couldn’t they just sit here and talk? This sudden familiarity that had revealed itself between them, they had barely been able to savour it until now, it seemed so new and confusing to her. And beautiful.
“I ... I ... don’t want to go back to my room. Not now, then ...” Lilli felt her face grow hot. “... in the dark.” She pressed her lips together and concentrated on her hand that was under Amon’s.
“I understand that well.” He took her hand fully in his.
“How?” Lilli looked up.
“If anyone understands, it’s me.”
“Why? You don’t have any ... well you’re not creeped out here, you live here.”
“Then why do I often sleep here and not in my bed?” Amon smiled a little pained. “This isn’t my bedroom, Lilli. Nevertheless, you will find me here more often in the morning than in my bedchamber, even if I have pretended otherwise to you.”
Lilli was silent, for she knew what drove Amon from his room and did not want to force him to say it. But by then he was continuing to speak.
“In every shadow I see him with a flashing knife in his hand. I think I’d rather spend the night in the horse stables than in my bedroom. That’s why I understand you. You can sleep here and have this bed.”
“And you?” Lilli asked, to whom the idea of not being sent away now seemed like salvation.
“I often stay up at night.”
“Out of the question. You’re tired too, I bet.” She glanced over at the sleeping area. “There’s room for both of us there.”
“Lilli, we can’t. We can’t do that.”
“Oh, and why not?” Now she looked straight at him, hoping her hot cheeks didn’t glow too red in the twilight. The idea of lying next to Amon for an entire night, of feeling him next to her, caused her heart to pound, echoing in her ears. She was almost ashamed of the feeling. She quickly pushed that troublesome thought away.
“It’s not proper,” Amon said. “We’re not married.”
“But officially engaged. What business is it of the servants what we do?”
“There will be gossip.”
“Only if we get caught.”
“Lilli, you’re ...” Amon shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.
“... incredibly tired.” She blinked as if in confirmation and Amon laughed softly.
“All right.”
Shortly afterwards, they were lying side by side on Amon’s bed behind the curtain. Lilli was wearing her undergarment; she had taken off the outer garment to be more comfortable. When Amon wanted to allow her to have the duvet alone, she refused and unfolded part of the blanket over him. He looked up at her as she did so and again Lilli couldn’t help thinking of how his hair had felt between her fingers. She couldn’t resist and reached for a silky black strand while Amon looked at her unblinkingly.
And then she felt her lips meet his and everything began to spin in her head. Had she done that? It must have been, because Amon hadn’t moved, but he returned her kiss and Lilli thought she was losing her mind. How was it possible for something to feel like that? Why hadn’t she suspected it? And why had she fought it tooth and nail?
Because it would never have been like this with the other men.
She broke away from him and thought she saw his smile in the half-light. She hesitated for a moment, then she dared and lay close to him so that she could feel his body and the warmth.
“Lilli,” Amon said in the darkness and she was struck again by how beautiful his voice sounded. Especially now when there was nothing to distract from that sound. “Thank you for giving me moments like this. I was very happy today. It was beautiful.”
“There will be many more moments like this,” Lilli whispered back. “If you want to.”
Amon was silent to that and Lilli just lay still, letting her thoughts wander. As she did so, she enjoyed his intimacy and the memory of the kiss. Amon breathed quietly. Was he already asleep? Lilli very carefully leaned her forehead against his upper arm. She was looking forward to spending the night here beside him. And to the next day.
She sighed very softly. And then? Maybe she should write to her father that he needn’t worry and that she was fine. It really wasn’t a bad idea. In the end, he would come up with the idea of picking her up. She shuddered a little at the thought. If he really did that, then there was no plausible reason for her to return to Amon. Possibly that meant a separation forever. Her heart beat a little faster and suddenly she felt wide awake. This problem hadn’t even crossed her mind before, which may have been because it hadn’t been a problem until now. She had never intended to stay here for longer. And now?
Lilli mused. Was it possible? She played out an outrageous plan in her mind and found no catch. Had she imposed this restriction on herself that she hadn’t come up with the idea? Or was it because she had felt nothing for Amon to begin with?
Am I in love?
She suspected that she was. Even though Lilli had no experience in falling in love, she could think of few peaks to this feeling inside her. The most important question now was: did Amon feel the same way about her?
It seemed so, but how sure could she be?
The next question was: was marriage a possibility for him?
Oh yes, she thought of that. Even if Lilli were sure that she would be able to continue to stand up to her father, she was in for a fight for years. Her father would keep trying to marry her off. Perhaps he would grant her a short break, especially if she played her part well when she returned home, but the problem was not off the table.
And now, here beside Amon, the scar-faced king, she felt comfortable and protected. She liked his closeness; she would rather be with him than without him. Even more, a strange, nagging feeling spread through her when she thought of him leaving. Even if it were only for a few days; she would miss him terribly.
When she looked at it closely, there was almost no alternative left but to marry Amon. When she imagined returning to Aurenbrunn without him, she felt tears welling up inside her, yet she lay close to him, her departure a long way off. How bad would it be when she actually mounted her horse and Grauemfall Castle grew smaller and smaller behind her? As she did so, she would permanently imagine that behind those mist-shrouded walls lived a sad, lonely man whom she left even sadder and lonelier than he had been before. A man with a mask behind which apparently no one but she could see. Lilli listened for Amon’s breaths. Now she was quite sure he was asleep. She put her hand on his arm and moved a little closer to hi
m. How would it be when he held her in his arms as his wife?
Thank you for giving me moments like this.
What did he mean by that? And why hadn’t he continued? Lilli stifled a yawn and closed her eyes. She would soon find out.
8
It was the sound combined with a breeze that pulled her out of the warm darkness. Still with her eyes closed, Lilli heard quick footsteps and then the door. Something told her that this wasn’t right, that something was wrong, but to leave the glorious warmth, to sit up and look, she couldn’t bring herself to do that. Lilli blinked and saw a dark strand of hair in front of her face. Without moving, she tried to feel him lying beside her. A careless movement of hers could wake him and she wanted to prevent that. She thought she felt his cheek against her forehead, which would explain the strand of hair in her field of vision. Now she also heard the soft breaths. Amon was asleep and lying so close to her that she could feel his body.
Lilli closed her eyes again and enjoyed this moment. For the time being, she pushed aside the fact that someone had been in the room earlier. While they were lying here, the first rumours were surely already making the rounds and they would have to live with that. Basically, she didn’t care at all. Amon ruled this country, he could do whatever he wanted. And she was officially his fiancée, and it was none of the others’ business what they did together. If everything developed as Lilli had imagined since last night, the problem would no longer be one. In the meantime, she believed that there was some kind of fate that had led her to this young man. How else was it possible that she could magically see his true face? If there was such a thing as fate, then it was possibly wrong to take a different path for the sake of reason. But she wasn’t planning to do that at the moment anyway. And if her father should show up here, then she could pretend to be quite amazed at what he wanted here. And Amon would not betray her then, she was quite sure of that.
At that moment he moved next to her, which she noticed with regret, then he moved away from her a little. Lilli pushed herself up from her comfortable position and brushed the loosened hair out of her face. Heavens. That must have looked really strange to the servant who was probably carrying the scandalous news down the corridors right now. Should she tell Amon about it? He blinked sleepily up at her, and a tender feeling of affection came over her at the sight of him. Gently she put her hand to his cheek, feeling the scars, the few delicate lines. If that was how she felt, then didn’t what she saw have to be the truth? Amon closed his eyes for a moment and then she felt his hand groping for her waist.
“We should get up, or someone will notice,” he said, smiling as if he didn’t care about that danger at all by now.
“Too late,” Lilli replied. She ran her hand through his straight hair. “Some servant was just in here; they must be talking their heads off by now.”
Amon groaned and put his arm over his face. Immediately Lilli grabbed him by the shirt sleeve and pulled him back.
“Please stop that. You don’t have to hide. You’re the king and you can do what you want.”
Amon gave a pained laugh. “Yes, that’s what you think ... although, maybe you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right. Who, if not me?” Lilli grinned cheekily and when Amon sat up in bed, she dared and put her arms around his neck, snuggling against him. He held her close, kissed her on the cheek and Lilli hated the thought that they had to get up right away to do whatever. Couldn’t they just stay here in his room and demand not to be disturbed? What was Amon king for around here?
“I admit, there is something to this idea of spending the night here.” Amon smiled again and Lilli wondered once more how different he looked when he dropped his stoic expression. “Let’s have something to eat. I’m hungry.” For a brief moment he pressed his lips to hers again, then he broke away from her and Lilli crawled to the edge of the bed, sighing. She fished for her robe and slipped awkwardly into it. Then she roughly arranged her hair with her fingers, hoping to at least make it to her room unseen.
“I’ll pick you up for breakfast in a minute, if you want.” Amon was suddenly standing behind her. She turned and for a moment the mirrored wardrobe in the corner came into her field of vision. How surreal that moment seemed now, when he had grabbed her and pulled her there to show her his face. And now he was standing in front of her, smiling at her. Last night seemed to have changed the world, nothing was the same.
“That would be nice.” Lilli put her hands on his forearms. “Do you know what we’re doing here?”
“No.” Amon leaned down to her and kissed her tenderly on the mouth once more. “Maybe there is a spell on us. There is no other reason to fall for such a stubborn princess ...” He paused and looked to the side as if he had heard a noise. “We should go.”
Lilli graciously dismissed him from this situation. She had heard enough. Amon of Grauemfall had fallen in love with her.
Lilli made it to her room unseen. She ran to her bed and threw herself into the pillows, then bit into the duvet so as not to shriek loudly. The feelings inside her wanted to come out, everything was new and exciting, she was looking forward to this day beyond words. And to all that might follow.
She stared at the ceiling and realised that a stubborn smile had spread across her face. It seemed impossible for her to stop grinning. The feeling of touching him, feeling his body heat through the fabric, his lips on hers ... the world was insane – fantastically insane. Hopefully, they’d be alone for breakfast in a minute! Yes, she longed for that. She pulled herself together and quickly went to the bathroom to freshen up, taking it upon herself to pick out a particularly nice dress right away.
In the end, she chose her red dress, fully aware that it looked stunning on her. Then she combed her hair and braided it into a loose plait that fell over her shoulder. Would Amon like this hairstyle? She glanced at the door and in a flash decided on open hair, which she pinned together with a jewelled clasp at the nape of her neck. Not a moment too soon, because there was already a knock at the door and Lilli almost fell as she leapt up from her chair. She hurried to the door and when it opened, she was more than pleased when Amon let his gaze rest on her, thinking she saw a gleam in his eyes. The red dress did not fail to have its effect. He took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“You look incredibly beautiful, Your Highness,” he said in the tone she knew of him from before, only he smiled mischievously.
“You certainly say that to every lady-in-waiting here, Your Majesty,” Lilli replied demurely, withdrawing her hand from him.
“That’s not true,” Amon said, closing the door behind her, “Your Highness I only say to you.” He offered her his arm and she slapped it lightly, whereupon he began to grin again.
“Honestly? I didn’t think you were capable of a joke at first.” Lilli slid her hand under his arm.
“For that, I knew from day one that you underestimated me,” Amon retorted, leading her down the corridor.
“What will the servants do when they realise, I call you by your first name?” Lilli wondered.
“I don’t know. Probably give you a stupid look. I’m sure they’ll get used to it. They got used to you, after all.” Amon looked straight ahead and had an innocent expression on his face. Lilli looked up at him enthusiastically. The fact that they shared the same sense of humour seemed almost unreal to her. Maybe there was a spell on them after all? For a brief moment, this thought clouded her good mood, then she pushed it all back and decided to simply enjoy herself.
Constance looked up as they entered the large room together, which Lilli already knew from the lunches.
Obviously, Amon’s sister had already started breakfast. Visibly surprised, she stood up to greet her brother.
“What are you doing here, Amon? I think it’s been months since you showed up for breakfast.” She let him kiss her on the cheek.
“Months? Then it’s about time again. I’m incredibly hungry.” He led Lilli to the table and adjusted her chair, which Constanc
e watched with raised brows.
“I don’t recognise you, dearest brother, what happened?” She eyed Lilli and a smile stole onto her face, which she quickly hid behind her napkin of fine cloth while servants hurried to lay a place setting for the unexpected guests.
“I request fried eggs with bacon and plenty of fresh bread,” Amon said.
“Right away, Your Majesty.”
“To your question, what happened, I do not know. But I am enjoying the moment. And I should be allowed to do that, shouldn’t I?” Amon said to Constance.
“Yes ... of course. I don’t know what has lifted your spirits so much, but I am happy for you.” At these words she winked at Lilli, who immediately got a hot face. She was grateful that a bowl of fresh bread was placed in front of her, and she had something to fix her eyes on.
Shortly afterwards, a servant offered the king his breakfast and Amon took a big bite. From his sister’s face, Lilli could tell that this was rather unusual.
“And what else do you have planned for today?” Constance finally asked.
“We’re going to the library.” Amon shoved a fork of scrambled eggs into his mouth and then took a bite of his bread.
This sentence brought Lilli back to reality for a moment. She had almost forgotten that they were going to look for clues to the spell they were probably dealing with.
The time until noon flew by. Amon had taken her to the library, which had lost much of its eerie atmosphere in the daylight, and together they searched the shelves for useful books. There were always moments when they touched each other, brushed each other’s arm, and twice Amon even pulled her close to him to kiss her, which Lilli readily returned.
Amon had lunch taken to the library, where they dined jokingly and with much good humour, then went back to their books. They did not find out much. What there was to read about spells was always the same, much had to do with curses, hardly anything with wishes that were fulfilled just by saying them.
The Scar-Faced King Page 13
