by Piper Rayne
I wince at my actions and how much I drank. It was my thirtieth, but I should’ve limited my alcohol consumption. I had too much turmoil inside. Something was bound to snap.
The taxi stops in front of the house and I pay the man and make my own walk of shame up the concrete path to the front door.
I ring the doorbell. Me using a key after what I’ve done doesn’t seem right.
“Hey,” Demi answers, her hair askew, her pajamas still on.
“Is she here?” I walk into the house that doesn’t hold that same warm feeling it did weeks ago. These people hate me, just like her now, and I have the black eye to prove it.
“No. I think she’s at her sister’s.”
I head up the stairs and pack up my room. I’m done taking a shower early enough to catch my flight. I stand in the hallway, staring at her childhood bedroom door.
Fuck this.
I open the door, stepping into her personal space one last time. I pick up a few pictures tacked to the corkboard above her desk. Her easy going, soft welcoming smile can be found in every picture. She always did steal the room when she walked in.
Sitting down in her chair, I find a piece of paper and a pen, hoping to make the sting of what happened between us less hurtful. She has to know the truth. That I’ve loved her since the first time I saw her, I was just too chicken shit to admit it. How lucky she is to escape the coward I am. But hopefully she understands I never meant to shut her out, or to hurt her. That I was sheltering her from a part of me that’s as foreign as a rainforest is to her.
I place the note on her desk, stand and dig out my key to the house, putting it down on top, then tuck her desk chair back under the desk. Moving to the bed, I know I’m intruding. She doesn’t want me here, but I lift her pillow to my nose and inhale the scent of her. Closing my eyes, I let the smell of vanilla wash over me. I put it back exactly how she had it and put my duffle bag over my shoulder, closing the door behind me.
“Leaving?” Dax asks, shirtless with athletic shorts showing off way more than I want to see.
“Yeah. Make sure she’s okay?”
“We’re sticking around for awhile. Demi’s trying to really piss off her mom by staying away as long as she can.” He chuckles, but his lips go firm. “You sure this is what you want?”
“I’ve overstayed my welcome. It’s too late.”
“It’s never too late for a stud like you.”
A tight smile I don’t feel tips the corners of my lips. “It is.”
I shake his hand and do a one arm hug.
“Hey, let’s get together soon. Plan a guy’s trip.” He shakes his head. “Did I just say that shit?”
A real laugh flows out of me now. “Yeah, you did, but it’s on.”
We stand in the foyer looking at each other for a minute.
“I thought I heard you. You going to Park City?” Grady walks down the stairs, fully showered and clothed.
“Yeah, my flight leaves in a few hours.”
A honk outside signals that my Uber is here, so I grab my suitcase, give Grady a one arm hug. “Tell Mia I say bye.”
“Will do.”
The two of them stand on either side of me, finally not trying to convince me to change.
I open the door, stepping back out into the mild air. It feels like true spring is just around the corner. With one last wave to my friends, I put my luggage into the trunk of the Uber and climb in.
“O’Hare Airport.”
The guy nods, shifts into drive, checks his mirrors a couple of times before he starts to pull away from the curb. Did he just get his license? Let’s fucking go. He slams on the brakes and my head stops inches before the headrest.
“Are they coming?” he asks, looking over at the house.
“Nah,” I say, turning to look when my door opens and a shirtless Dax slides in.
“Come on. The weather might’ve warmed up, but this is Chicago for fuck’s sake. My balls are shriveling up.”
I slide across the seat—why, I have no idea.
The other door opens and in hops Grady.
“Okay, guys, I’m squeezed like a hot dog in here.”
“Bad analogy, Hoff,” Grady says, taps on the headrest. “You can go.”
The driver listens to the person who isn’t going to pay him and turns his wheel to get out of the parallel parking position.
“Get out of the car,” I say.
“I wanted to let your sorry ass leave. I really did,” Dax says. “I’m so exhausted with your bullshit, believe me. You’re ruining my high of getting laid on a constant basis. Seriously, I thought I was a nympho, but Demi, man, I’m barely keeping up.”
“Thank you. Thank you for that piece of information.”
“It’s the perks of a relationship. Am I right, Grady?” He looks past me.
“I have no complaints.” Grady shrugs.
“If this is your ‘go buy Skylar a ring campaign because I’ll get laid all the time,’ I have some information for you. It won’t last. Sooner or later, you’re not going to be as attracted to her. She’s going to see you lying around, not doing jackshit and she’ll be rolling over leaving your sorry ass.”
She’ll figure out you’re not good enough I don’t add. Or maybe that’s only true in my case.
He circles his finger around his face. “She’ll never deny this gorgeous mug.”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks for the pep talk guys, but we can chat about this another time.” I glance at the time on the car display. “I have a flight to catch.”
“Told you. Waste of fucking time.” Dax speaks his mind openly to Grady.
“Hoff, it was my idea to jump in the car—”
“Captain obvious, I’m not wearing a shirt.”
Grady shakes his head at Dax’s interruption. “If you get on that plane, shit, you’re already so deep in that hole, man. As your friend, I can’t in good conscience let you ruin your life.”
“I’m not—”
“You fucking are!” He raises his voice, so much so that the Uber driver grabs his cell phone and puts it in his hand. Like he’ll call the cops if need be. Where was he last night when Vin flattened me like a fucking pancake?
“I know I had a happy childhood. Shit, my parents live and breathe for me. Brag about me, worry about me. And Mia’s got that too.”
“Thanks, I feel so much better now,” I deadpan.
“You’re going to live your life alone because two crappy, careless people who happen to have gotten together one night and fucked, screwed you over before they even knew how awesome you are? You’re not them. You don’t even know who the hell they are. Nor do I think you care. So, why are you letting the fact that they left you thirty years ago ruin your life now? I get that you have issues. I get you’re worried that she’s going to wake up one day and be like, who the hell is this jackass I married?”
“Marriage.” Dax cringes. “You’re pulling out the big guns there.”
“Dax,” Grady sighs.
“You spent all this time keeping your distance from her because you were scared you’d lose her, but look, Beck, you lost her despite all that. Do you really think she’ll ever be your friend again?”
I say nothing as the Uber pulls into the airport.
“She won’t. Sure, you’ll have to see each other at mine and Dax’s wedding.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dax holds his hands up in the air. “Let’s not throw my name in the mix.”
Grady tilts his head because we both know Dax might walk down that aisle before Grady. Dax’s silence and the way he’s rolling his eyes says we’re right.
“Baby showers, barbecues, hell in a couple years we’ll all be back at training and competing,” Grady continues on with his lecture. “You might be cordial, but the friendship you had, it died. So, you can get on that plane…”
The car stops, and the Uber guy turns around, seeming enthralled with Grady’s inspirational speech.
“And leave her behind—”
>
“Or you can fight for her,” the Uber driver adds.
“Exactly,” Grady agrees. “Because, Beckett, you’re always too busy pointing the finger at yourself. How screwed up you are, but after this, Skylar’s the one who thinks she’s screwed up. She’s thinking for some reason she’s not good enough for you.”
“Thanks for that.” I pay the Uber driver on my phone leaving him an extra few dollar tip for having to listen to these two ramble the entire ride, then nudge Dax to get out.
“Nope. Make the right call here.”
Dax looks to Grady for some sort of advice. “Let him go, Dax. You’re right, it’s hopeless.”
Dax sighs, opening the door and stepping out.
“Excuse me, Sir, you cannot come into this airport without a shirt or shoes,” an attendant screams, running over to us.
“Well, this has been eventful. Have a safe flight buddy. Text me when you land.” Dax pats me on the shoulders, hopping back into the car as I walk through the sliding doors.
Out of Chicago and out of Skylar Walsh’s life.
Chapter Twenty
I go through all the motions…check-in, checking my baggage, security and finally buying a coffee to wake my ass up before I collapse on the germ-infested vinyl seats and miss the announcement of my flight boarding.
I’m boarded and in my seat, which I upgraded to first class because I need something in my life to not suck right now. The flight attendant comes by, but I decline anything. All I want is sleep and the promise that this shattered feeling inside will stay in Chicago and disappear when the plane’s tires land in Utah.
First class is empty, probably because the ski season is done for the year. The tourists start to dwindle before there’s another rush in late spring and summer for golf, horseback riding, and fishing. It’s really perfect timing for me to return since I’ll have a few weeks to keep a low profile.
Sleep evades me. I try to picture my life without her in it and it just seems like a vast wasteland. Maybe we were always headed for this moment—the point of no return. Perhaps even if we hadn’t slept together, push was eventually going to come to shove. Everything I did to make sure she’d remain in my life one way or another seems futile now.
Grady’s voice rings loud in my head.
Am I really leaving her with scars?
This entire time I was worried about her leaving me, and what it would do to me. It’d strip me bare if I put it all out there and she rejected me. But she was there for my taking, ready to jump in with both feet and I’m the one who left her all alone. I was the asshole. I acted like my own fucking sperm and egg donor. I made her feel like I’ve felt my entire life.
“Fuck!” I yell.
“Is there something wrong?” The flight attendant walks down the aisle to me and bends down to speak with me.
“How much longer until we land?”
She glances at her watch. “Probably an hour or so.”
“Shit. Any way we can land this thing?”
She laughs, her perfectly shaped eyebrows rising. “Um, no.”
Worth a try, unless I want to feign a heart attack or something. “Then how do I get a ticket to board the next flight back to Chicago after we land?”
She scrunches her forehead and sits down next to me. “Are you on the wrong flight?”
This isn’t some Home Alone bullshit and with how many times you have to show your damn boarding pass it has to be nearly impossible for that to happen, doesn’t it?
“No, I have to get back to Chicago.”
A smile forms on her lips. “A girl?”
Okay, I’m over the advice column shit now. The light bulb over my head is finally on and could act like a lighthouse if I wanted.
“Yeah,” I say sweetly with the hope it might earn me some romantic brownie points and score me a ticket at not triple the cost. Not that Skylar’s not worth it, but it just means there’s less I’ll have to spend on her.
“Okay, let me find out for you.” She stands up.
I take the phone from the headrest, punching in her cell phone.
Voicemail. Shit.
“Sky, please don’t go out with Mauro. I’m coming. I’m sorry. I’m a fucktard. Please, please, this is the last time I’ll tell you to wait for me. I promise.”
I end the call, the flight attendant handing me a glass of scotch.
“Nah, just anything with caffeine. Alcohol, me and this girl don’t mix.”
She laughs, taking her scotch back with her but I swear she chugs it down before she moves past the partition.
“Okay,” she says when she returns, handing me a soda. “This plane will be heading back to Chicago after refueling and clean up. You have to get off, buy your ticket, and then you can re-board. Give me your luggage tags.” She holds her hand out.
I dig in to find the luggage tags in my wallet and hand them to her. She heads back up to the front and gets back on the phone, returning a minute later.
“You’re all set. Now it’s just a waiting game.”
The minutes tick by like hours. Could I really not have figured this out while still in the airport?
An hour later, the tires land in Utah. I do everything the flight attendant told me and I’m surprised how smoothly it all went. I couldn’t get first class, so I’m sandwiched between a mom with a baby and a business guy on the return flight, but I’m not about to complain.
“Sorry to both of you, but there’s a lot of calls about to be made.”
They each just stare at me, so I swipe my credit card and pick up the phone. Organizing everything I need for tonight. When I land in Chicago, I won’t be coming to her, she’ll be coming to me. That is if Demi and Dax can stop fucking for ten minutes to do what they’re supposed to.
If I’m going to jump, I’m doing it with both feet and no parachute. What better way is there than to go big. Big always is better.
Chapter Twenty-One
The lights of the Chicago high rises light up the dark room, windows showcasing the view from edge to edge, thirty stories up in the air with the bustle of people below.
I gulp down the lump in my throat and shift trying to get more comfortable. My shirt is too stiff around my neck. The tie too suffocating. The jacket too restrictive. I miss my track pants and t-shirts, but Skylar is worth wearing this thing for the rest of my life.
“I don’t understand. Why are we here?” Skylar’s voice is faint.
“You know Dax, always impulsive. He wants your opinion about this place in case he buys the condo.”
“What? Why would he buy a condo? It is a nice area.” Their heels click on the hardwood floor. Lights flicker on in each room. “I thought you guys were thinking about staying in Vermont?”
“Well, family issues and all.”
Demi sure sucks, I can even tell she’s lying.
“What’d we miss?” Grady walks in.
“Oh, I love the view of the lake,” Mia gasps. I hope Skylar does too because it cost a small fortune to get a lease on it with such short notice.
“Maybe we should move to a city,” Grady says.
My head falls back in exhaustion. If she doesn’t step in here soon, my heart is going to stop.
“Nah, I’m a Vermont girl. Plus, neither of us would survive in a place we can’t strap on our boards and ride.”
“True. I need the snow,” Grady agrees.
“Chicago has snow,” Skylar says.
“No fucking mountains though.” Dax’s voice joins the group and the door shuts. “Seriously, that neighbor guy is nosey. I don’t think this is the place for us, babe.”
“Yeah, I agree. We sure will miss you, Sky, but we’ll visit often.”
“I’ll visit, you’ll visit. It’ll be fine...why are you leaving? Aren’t you going to at least look at the bedrooms?”
“Oh, I guess.” Demi must turn back around. Dipshits can’t put together a plan to save their lives.
Lead her in here. They have one fucking job. Okay, well more
than one, but this is the most important.
The light turns on above my head, shining down on the sprinkled red rose petals scattered across the wooden floors.
They shut the door behind her and Skylar turns, walking over and placing her hand on the knob. Her hair is thrown into a ponytail and she’s wearing yoga pants, gym shoes, and a hoodie. She’s never looked more beautiful.
The fact she’s not pounding on the door to escape is a good sign.
“It’s too late,” she says to the back of the door.
“Please just listen to me. One last dinner and if you want to leave me, I won’t stop you.”
She turns, and her gaze shifts to the small table set in front of the window with takeout Chinese food containers and chopsticks along with two bottles of water.
She bites down on her lower lip, her eyes never reaching mine. “If I sit down and eat, you’ll let me go then?”
“Yes.”
“A half hour. That’s it.” She walks to the table, sits down and crosses her arms over her chest. “Why are we eating in the bedroom?”
“Because I had to make sure you wouldn’t run.”
She cocks one eyebrow at me. “Of the two of us, I’m not the runner.”
“True.” I sit down across from her. “Hungry?”
“Nope.”
“Did you get my message?”
“Nope.”
“Missed call?”
“I didn’t miss it.”
I knew she’d be hard, but either I don’t know her at all or I’m a bigger douchebag than I realized. I guess it’s the latter.
“Sky, I’m so sorry.”
She holds her hand out to me. “Stop. I’m done with the sorry. If you can’t handle a relationship more than friendship, I’ve decided I don’t want either. I’m not sure what all this is about, but it’s over, Beckett. We had a nice run. Friendships die all the time.”
“Yeah, they do and ours died. I’m not here to earn your friendship back, Skylar.”
She stares blankly at me.
“I’m here to win your heart. I understand it won’t be easy. I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but that’s why we’re here. This condo is mine. If you’re in Chicago, I am too. I mean I’ll have to travel, otherwise, I can’t afford this place. So, during qualifying and training, I’ll have to be in Park City, but we’ll make it work. Somehow. It doesn’t matter.”
