Elizabeth looked away. “It wasn’t just what you did,” she said numbly.
“I know. I know, and that is why we all signed the deal. But I can’t speak for the others. I can only speak for myself, and I did it because I love you, Elizabeth. Please understand.”
Elizabeth laid her head down on his shoulder. She was shocked by what he said, but she still reached instinctively to him for comfort.
“Lizzy?” he said tentatively as he stroked her hair. “Tell me what you are feeling.”
Elizabeth smiled at his question. “Mostly surprised. I had no idea you were so generous, or so caring. But I guess I should have seen it all before.”
Darcy kissed her head desperately. “Are you mad?”
“No,” she shook her head. “I’m just very lucky I have you.” She lifted her face to him. “Hold me,” she breathed and he pulled her tight, settling her in his lap as he covered her with kisses and soft words.
She was stunned by what he had told her. She never realized that someone could care so much for her, protect her the way he did. She felt something new inside of herself, a sense of belonging, of safety she hadn’t felt before. Even as she was warmed by it, she was appalled at the same time at her own stupidity. How could she have misjudged him so?
After a minute, she pulled herself together. “Are you sure you want to love someone who is so blind?” she asked him archly.
Darcy smiled. “Are you sure you want to love someone who brings nothing but trouble to you?”
They kissed and held each other tightly, until a knock came at the door. Darcy put on his robe and answered it, returning a moment later. “Georgie’s home.”
“Then I guess we had better get cleaned up and have some—” she looked at the clock and was surprised at how late it was, “oh, lunch.”
Darcy smiled and led her to the bathroom. Elizabeth stopped dead in her tracks as she examined the room. “Fitzwilliam, there is a swimming pool in your bathroom!”
Darcy handed her a toothbrush. “Don’t be silly. The pool is outside. That’s just the spa.” He kissed her lightly on the nose and started brushing his teeth as Elizabeth moved closer to the spa. It was either very large for a spa or small for a pool. It had been built into the floor, with steps going down into it and rough stonework along the outside wall. “You like it?” Darcy asked.
“It’s beautiful!”
“My parents’ nicknames for each other were ‘Water’ and ‘Stone.’”
Elizabeth flashed him a doubtful look and he shrugged. “It was the eighties, they were rich New Agers, whatever. Anyway, they used the element of water or glass and stone throughout the design of the house. The spa was custom built for them and from hints my relatives have dropped, I think I was conceived in there.”
Elizabeth’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh really!”
He smiled at her around his toothbrush and nodded, then moved away to the sink.
Elizabeth gave the spa an appraising “hmm” and moved to the sink as well.
***
They spent a quiet afternoon with each other, returning to Tanglewood to see Mary again, hear the two o’clock concert, and then pick up Elizabeth’s luggage. Darcy found his attention wandered constantly to Elizabeth. His eyes could not get enough of her. She was dressed in a simple red tank dress that complemented her coloring and her delicious curves. And while he would have normally been mortified by his inattentiveness to the others, he found he couldn’t stop himself when Elizabeth met his eyes and stared back at him so often.
Elizabeth left Mary with a loving hug and traveled with the Darcys back to Pemberley. As soon as they got in, Georgiana announced her intention to spend the evening with her girlfriend. Darcy stopped her and the two shared a brief conversation. Darcy questioned her motives and Georgiana assured him that she was all right. Elizabeth politely pretended not to hear them.
When Georgiana had left, Darcy handed Elizabeth a cordless phone and kissed her. “Call your parents. I don’t want them to worry.” Elizabeth blushed and looked away, still not comfortable with the idea of Darcy and her parents.
“Wait,” Darcy countermanded. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, I just know you don’t like my family. Not that I don’t understand,” she quickly assured him, “I know we can be overwhelming at first.”
Darcy took the phone from her hand, led her to the couch, and made her sit with him. “Tell me why you think I don’t like your family,” he said with an expression of disbelief.
Elizabeth wished she had never said anything. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hide it. I could see by the way you acted at my house you disliked them.”
Darcy sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Dearest, I don’t dislike your family.” He frowned, clearly impatient with himself. “I’m sorry. I’m not really comfortable around new people, and it comes off as my being arrogant and not liking them.”
Elizabeth’s expression turned uneasy as she recognized her own initial reaction to him.
“Elizabeth, the truth is, I like your family very much.” He smiled slightly. “If anything, I’m envious of how close you all are.”
Elizabeth felt horrible. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I totally misunderstood.” She wrapped her arms around him and he kissed her. “I feel kinda stupid now.”
“You’re not stupid, Elizabeth. I’m sorry I acted like such a jerk.”
Elizabeth tried to tell him he hadn’t, but Darcy wouldn’t let her. “I’m quite sure I did. But I hope you are clear on it now?”
Elizabeth nodded and kissed him again. They exchanged words of love, and Darcy got up, saying he would leave her alone to make her call, and went to his studio.
By the time Elizabeth was done talking to her mother, she wasn’t sure if she shared Darcy’s affection for her parents. Elizabeth couldn’t believe how mercenary her mother could be, and it was a relief when her father took the phone.
“Hello, pumpkin,” he said calmly. “What is all this I hear about you and the big-shot rock star?”
Elizabeth smiled. Most other people would be offended, but she recognized her father’s dry sense of humor. “He’s made me his love slave,” she answered casually.
“Very good,” he replied. “Tell me, is being a love slave to a rock star a well-paid position?”
Elizabeth laughed. “You know, I think there might just be a ‘room and board’ clause to this. I’ll have to check on that.”
“Lizzy?” His voice had turned serious. “Are you sure you are making the right decision?”
Elizabeth was touched. This was how she knew that under all his bluff, he loved her dearly. “I am, Dad. He’s wonderful. I know this seemed to happen quickly, but it’s actually been building for a while and I’ve never been so happy in my life,” she told him confidently. “Listen, we’re all off next Sunday, maybe we could come up for dinner and you can give him a hard time.”
“Oh, no! The man is taking one of my daughters off my hands. I’m not going to give him a hard time. He might send you back!”
Elizabeth giggled.
“But it would be nice to spend a bit more time with the man. Perhaps Jane could bring her Romeo too?”
“I think that could be arranged,” Elizabeth replied, pleased.
“Very good, Lizzy, your mother just passed me a note that says ‘Tell Lizzy to call Alex.’ Well, now you have been told.”
“I have; thank Mom for me.”
“Take care of yourself, Lizzy.” His voice had a note of tenderness. “I’ve missed you around here. The house has suddenly gotten very quiet.”
“I will, Daddy. I love you.”
“All right. I’ll see you next week. Bye, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth turned off the phone and sat still for a moment, staring out the window at the trees. She had always been her father’s favorite but had never realized how painful her leaving would be to him. She resolved to be more faithful in her phone calls to him, even if it meant she would have to listen to her mother’s silliness.<
br />
With a shrug she turned to the phone and dialed Alex’s number. He answered with a doubtful, “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Mom said you called?”
“Lizzy? Where are you calling from? I thought you’d be back home by now.”
“Oh, that,” she grinned. “Slight change in plans. I’m at Darcy’s.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, I ran into him at Tanglewood and we talked and, well, here I am.” Elizabeth looked up to see Darcy coming up the short flight of steps from the studio, his mother’s guitar in his hands. She flashed him a bright smile and a wink.
“So now you’re fucking him, you mean?”
“What?”
“Oh, please, Lizzy. I’ve seen the way you two have been staring at each other for the whole tour.” His tone was ugly. “I’m just surprised you were willing to take him back after the VMAs. He must be damn good.”
“How. Dare. You.” Elizabeth was shocked and revolted. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
Silence was her only answer. Elizabeth was about to hang up when Alex said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, Lizzy. I just hate to see him treat you like that.”
“Alex, you have no idea how he treats me or what’s going on between us, and frankly, it’s none of your business.”
“Elizabeth, if it affects you or the band, it’s my business. That’s a manager’s job: keeping his band together. And frankly, I don’t like what that man and his friends have been doing to you.”
Elizabeth wished then that she had never said anything about Darcy to the others. She could see for herself how dubious her admission of love must look to the others, especially after she had been so vehement in her disdain for him. “Look, Alex, I’m sorry you don’t like him, but the fact of the matter is we are now a package deal. You want to deal with me, you deal with him.” Her nerve broke and her voice softened. “I don’t want to fight about this, Alex. I want you to be happy for me.”
Again, there was a long pause. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll be happy for you, Lizzy. And if you’re wrong, and I’m right, I’ll be there for you too.”
“I’m not wrong, Alex. Trust me.”
“All right. I just called to see how you were, Lizzy. Are you all set for Tuesday?”
“Yes, I’ll meet you at the airport.”
“You have all the details for that?”
“It’s on my email.”
“Good. I’ll see you then. Take care, baby girl.”
“Bye,” she whispered. He hadn’t called her that in a year and the words still had power over her.
Elizabeth looked up to see that Darcy was gone. She frowned and went to the bedroom, following the sound of furious strumming. She found Darcy sitting on a chair in his room, playing angrily.
Elizabeth crossed the large room to him and stopped his hands with her own. She looked at him, questioning him.
Darcy put the guitar down on a table next to him carefully and then turned to Elizabeth. “What is he to you?” he asked in a low, deliberate voice.
Elizabeth felt her mouth go dry. “He’s my manager. Nothing more.”
Darcy shook his head and waited, his eyes staring into hers.
“Does it show?” Elizabeth asked uncomfortably, realizing she needed to tell him; she owed him that.
Darcy shook his head. “Not on your side. But looking at him? Hell, yeah. There’s clearly some history between you.” He sighed and dropped his shoulders. “Elizabeth?” he asked.
She held up a hand in defeat and nodded. “Okay. It’s just, um, I’m not… It’s not a pretty story and I’m going to need your help telling it.”
Without another word, Darcy stood and took her into his arms. She held him tightly, anchoring herself in his embrace. A few moments later found them stretched out on the bed together.
“It happened a long time ago. I was seventeen and had just graduated from high school. We were very busy that summer, mostly because for the first time I could work past eleven o’clock.” She laughed lightly. “But we were traveling around the area, playing everywhere and starting to take off as a band.”
“I found myself wanting a boyfriend. Both Jane and Charlotte had serious relationships with guys and I was kind of feeling left out, so I started paying attention to Alex. He was older, and not bad looking, and, well, there.” She looked down and moved her hair out of her face. “I didn’t know that I could be attractive to a man. I was used to being compared to Jane and ignored, and I didn’t know that I could affect someone.
“So when I started flirting with Alex, I got really excited when he started flirting back. Looking at it now, I can see that most men would have trouble resisting a horny seventeen-year-old girl, but then I thought I was plain and unsexy.” She looked at him unhappily and Darcy kissed her lightly, encouraging her to go on.
“I don’t know what more there is to say. I started kissing him, and that felt good, so I started petting with him, and that felt good, and before I knew it, we were having sex.”
“Do you feel bad about that?” Darcy asked gently.
“No, well, in a way.” She shook her head. “I wished I had really been in love.”
“Weren’t you?”
“No. I thought I was, but I wasn’t,” she sighed. “September came and I started college, and between school, rehearsals, and work, something had to give, and that was Alex.” She shrugged. “I realized in November that we hadn’t had sex in over a month and that I didn’t miss him. That was when I knew I didn’t love him. I found out soon afterward that he had moved on. While that hurt, I couldn’t blame him.”
“That’s not all,” Darcy said, calmly knowing there was more.
“Nope. Fast forward to last summer. We were recording ‘First Impressions’ then and it was horrible.” Elizabeth frowned at the memory. “It was beastly hot and we were in the studio every day for almost two months. And we couldn’t even work at our day jobs because we were recording every day, so we were all getting really short on cash and stressed. I was going on almost no sleep because any time I was out of the studio, I was trying to keep my computer network business going. It was just the worst time in my life.
“Finally, I remember one night I was there alone, laying down guitar tracks, and finally the engineer looked up at me and said, ‘Lizzy, you’re done.’” She looked at Darcy and smiled. “I can’t tell you the relief I felt at that moment. You know what it’s like. Studio work is nothing like performing. It’s so repetitive and long and boring and we had no idea what we were doing. And then that man said I was done, and I put my guitar down and walked out of the room to Alex and he gave me a huge hug. I wasn’t even thinking, I just instinctively kissed him. And then he kissed me, and all of a sudden we were making out and rushing off to his apartment.”
Her voice had grown very soft with embarrassment and Darcy could see this was hard for her. His hands gently offered his support to her. “Neither of us had been in a relationship for a long time, and I don’t know, I think it was just dumb horniness at first. The first week, nobody knew about it, mostly ’cause we never got out of bed except to work. The second week, Jane and Char found out, but they kept quiet about it. It was the middle of the third week before we even had a conversation about what was going on.”
“What did he say?” Darcy prompted her.
“He told me I was special and beautiful and he had always had strong feelings for me.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “And I knew I was in trouble then, because I didn’t feel that way. I was enjoying it, the sex, and I liked Alex, but I still didn’t love him, and I knew I couldn’t love him.” She looked out the window and continued her story. “I knew it wouldn’t last, and it didn’t.
“We were used to having Alex tell us what to do. He had worked in the music business before, and we hadn’t, so we trusted him. It became second nature to do what he told us.” She sighed. “But he was starting to get very personal about what he was telling me to
do. The next week of the affair, he started telling me how I should look when I sang, what expressions I should use, and how I should wear my hair—even how I should greet people when I met them.”
Darcy massaged her back softly, letting her get it out. “It happened during the fifth week.” Her voice was low and brittle. “We were in bed together and he was… touching me, and he said, ‘Lizzy, you would be so sexy if you just lost weight.’” Her voice cracked and a single tear ran down her cheek.
Darcy held her, comforting her and murmuring soft words to her as she finally broke down and cried, releasing a hurt she had never shared before.
When her tears were done, Darcy pushed her back just enough so he could see her eyes and firmly said, “He’s wrong. You are the most beautiful, most sexy woman I have ever seen, and he was wrong.”
“You’re biased,” she said, looking away. “I admit my thighs and ass—”
“Stop!” he interrupted her. “I will not listen to this. Your ass is amazing. I’ve caught myself staring at it—hell! You’ve caught me staring at it more times than I can count.” He tilted his head. “And don’t tell me you haven’t.”
Elizabeth smiled. “I have, even back at my house.”
Darcy nodded. “And I love your thighs.” His hand touched them for emphasis. “They’re strong, because you’re strong. You’re a swimmer, just like me, and I love the way your body is shaped. It’s perfect, and I need you to know it.”
She looked at him and nodded, and he pulled her close again. She spoke softly into the crook of his neck. “So, now you know all about Alex. I walked out on him when he said that right in the middle of having sex.” She grinned ruefully. “But I guess that’s why I’m a little oversensitive about people telling me what to do and why I thought you were negative when you were looking at my body.”
Darcy slowly rolled her onto her back. “For the rest of my life, I’m going to make sure you know exactly how sexy and beautiful your body is, Elizabeth,” he said with a low, determined voice that made her insides tighten.
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star Page 40
