I nodded, trying to ignore Ellie, who was reaching out her chubby little arms to me and squirming. I’d never held her before. I couldn’t let myself get that close to a baby. If I did I was afraid it would stir something in me that I didn’t want to feel.
“I was hoping I could leave Ellie with Cory for a bit. I have a message in to Mom, so I’m sure she’ll come get her just as soon as she picks it up.”
I swallowed as I wiped down the bar, trying not to look into those beautiful blue eyes. There was only one other person who had eyes that color. Cory. “Um, I can tell her you stopped by. Ask her to call you when she gets in. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind coming over to your place to sit with her for a while.”
“Unfortunately I can’t wait. I have to be at the hospital. An emergency appendectomy.”
“Oh.” Carter was a doctor. And I knew saving a life was a big deal, but surely he wasn’t expecting me to step in.
“I’ve tried calling and texting Cory a dozen times. Her phone must be dead or turned off.”
“Maybe.” I bit my lip, knowing that I was being an ass for not offering to watch the kid for him. We’d been pretty tight when Cory and I dated. Family dinners. Ball games. Free beers. He was my friend. I really should offer to help him out. “Uh, if you need to leave her here for a bit-”
“Dude, you are the best,” he said, breaking into a relieved grin.
“It’s no big deal. The bar doesn’t open for a couple of hours anyhow. Cory should be in by then.”
He placed Ellie back in her stroller and bent to give her a smacking kiss on the cheek. “Tell her she can just take her over to Mom and Dad’s house and I’ll pick her up from there when I get out of surgery.”
“Sure.” I walked around the bar and stared into the stroller. She smiled at me. God, she was so cute. How was I going to survive the next few hours without letting her wrap me around her little finger?
Carter pulled me into a back-slapping hug. “You don’t know how much this means to me, man.”
“No problem.”
He backed out of the bar. “You know how much I hate that things didn’t work out between you and my sister, right?”
We’d avoided the topic ever since the break-up. “Yeah, I know.”
He pointed at me. “You were the right guy for her. I just hope she figures that out.”
I watched him leave before turning to his daughter. I smiled and she smiled back. She was seven months old and I was pretty sure it wasn’t gas now, but what the hell did I know about babies?
“Hi.” I wiggled my fingers at her, feeling like a total idiot for talking to someone who couldn’t talk back.
She kicked her chubby little legs and reached for me. Oh yeah, like aunt, like niece. They both had me wrapped.
Chapter Five
Cory
I charged into the office intent on giving Jace shit for ordering overpriced scotch when the image behind the desk stopped me dead in my tracks.
Jace holding a baby. And not just any baby. My niece. He was looking down at her, a sweet contented smile tugging at his lips as stroked her fine, silky hair.
And it hit me like a tsunami. That damn fantasy I had every time I walked into our guest bedroom. The one that finally drove me out of our apartment for good.
“Hey,” he said, looking up at me. He brought his index finger to his lips. “Just got this little angel to sleep.”
“What is she doing here?” I whispered.
“You should charge your cell phone sometime.”
I was terrible about remembering to charge it overnight and Jace used to always give me shit ‘cause it would die halfway through the day. It would drive him especially crazy when I was out carousing with my girls and he couldn’t get hold of me at two in the morning. Silly man didn’t know he had no reason to be insecure. I’d never looked twice at another guy the entire time I’d shared his bed.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said, tip-toeing closer. His bulging biceps curled protectively around Ellie when she stirred and the slight action nearly did me in. “Why is she here?”
“Apparently your sister-in-law is out of town. Your brother got called into the hospital and your mother is at some meeting.” He raised a shoulder, his eyes meeting mine. “That leaves you. Except you weren’t here, so-”
“You volunteered?” I couldn’t believe it. Jace had never even held Ellie before. But he seemed to be doing a fine job of it now.
“What could I say?” he asked, grinning. “My buddy was in a bind.”
And the fact that he’d been willing to help my brother out, even though we were no longer together reminded me why I’d fallen in love with him in the first place. He’d do anything for the people he cared about.
I sat on the edge of the desk staring at the two of them as I chastised myself for indulging in a dirty fantasy while my ex cradled my niece.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked, as though he could read my mind.
Before I could respond, the office door flew open and my mother blew in. “I am so sorry!” When she spotted the sleeping baby her hands covered her cheeks and she whispered, “I feel terrible that I wasn’t available when Carter called earlier. Shame on me. I was the one who told the kids I’d always be available to babysit, then-”
“It’s no problem, Gina,” Jace said, raising his hand to silence her while he shifted Ellie to the other arm when she cried out in her sleep. “I had it under control.”
Her eyes widened before they fell on me. “Uh, you watched her, Jace?”
He grinned at my mother. “Yeah, and she’s still in one piece. Can you believe it?”
My mother loved Jace. Like, I mean she love-loved him. More than she loved me, I think. I suspected it was because his mom had bailed on him and she’d stepped in as kind of a surrogate, making his favorite meals when we went over for dinner, baking him cookies and dropping them off at the bar. There was no question who the cookies were for either. My favorite were peanut butter. His were chocolate chip. They were always chocolate chip.
“Of course I can,” she cooed. “You look like a natural holding her.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Doesn’t he, honey?”
“Give it a rest, Mom.” I rolled my eyes at Jace, who smiled.
“Let me have that precious baby,” she said, holding her arms out to Jace. “We’ve all bothered you enough today. You must have a lot of work to do. Besides, this is no place for a baby.” She nuzzled Ellie’s check and smiled when she woke up. “Is it my sweet girl?”
I watched her place Ellie gently into the stroller and felt a pang of envy. My mom had wanted to be a grandmother for years. Since Carter was the oldest he took most of the heat, and now that I had no prospects I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d given up hope of me ever giving her a grandchild. I was starting to lose hope myself.
I leaned over and kissed my goddaughter’s chubby cheek, inhaling that scent I loved so much. “I love you, doll,” I whispered to her. “You be a good girl for your nana now, okay?”
She smiled like she knew what I meant and she and my mother were on their way with my mother blowing kisses and Ellie blowing bubbles.
“I guess I should get back to work,” I said, after my mother closed the door behind her.
Jace grabbed my legs, pulling me closer to the edge of the desk, where I was bracketing him in his chair. “Not so fast. I want to know what you were thinking earlier. You had this look in your eye…”
I shook my head. I couldn’t tell him about that. He wouldn’t want to hear it.
“You’re not leaving this office until you tell me,” he said, running his hands up the outside of my thighs.
It was a sharp reminder of the things we’d done to each other last night… and the reason I’d cried myself to sleep. Again. “You really want to know?” I asked, flattening my palms against the desk and resting my weight on them as I leaned back, staring at him.
“I said I did.”
But he really
didn’t. Every time I talked to Jace about stuff like this he shut me down. I had no doubt he would again. Just as soon as he heard the dreaded ‘b’ word. “I walked in here and saw you holding the baby and my mind wandered.”
His eyes narrowed, like he was bracing himself. “And?”
“I imagined walking into the guest bedroom in the apartment, only it wasn’t a guest bedroom. It was a nursery.”
He sucked in a breath, but didn’t try to stop me as he leaned forward, his hands drifting higher until they rested on my hips.
“It was the middle of the night.” I’d had this image in my mind so long it was like watching it in Technicolor. “I wandered across the hall and found you sitting there in the rocker with our daughter.”
“Fuck,” he whispered, letting his forehead fall against my breast.
He wasn’t asking me to stop so I didn’t. “You weren’t wearing a shirt, only athletic shorts.”
He raised his head, inhaling deeply as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the flesh spilling out of my lacy cups.
I curled my hands around his head. I couldn’t help it. This was the fantasy for me. The one I always got off to. “I told you to put the baby down, that I needed you.”
His breathing was ragged when he roughly pushed my bra cup down and sucked my nipple into his mouth before turning his attention to the other one. I wasn’t the only one getting hot. He was too. And I loved that. There was a little voice in my head that told me this was wrong, but I didn’t give a shit. I needed this.
He ripped my faded jeans open, pushing his fingers inside me as he watched my face. “Yeah? Tell me. What’d you need me for? Why’d you need to tear me away from our baby?”
I moaned and spread my legs wider. Just hearing him say those two little words, our baby, were almost enough to make me climax. “As soon as we were out in the hall I closed the door,” I whispered, letting him imagine the scene playing out. “And pushed you against it.” I was riding his hand now, gripping his powerful shoulders. The office door was unlocked. Anyone could walk in, but I didn’t care.
“Tell me what you did to me.” His eyes were searing mine and if he’d asked me to jump on him in that moment and take a ride I gladly would have. “In detail.”
“I took you in my mouth.” I let my tongue glide over my lips as I eyed the bulge in his pants.
He rubbed harder, faster, and I shattered, crying out his name as he braced my boots on his shoulders.
“Jace…”
“You weren’t finished telling me what happens next.” He grabbed the bulge in his jeans and there was no way I could turn down an invitation like that.
I shimmied my jeans over my hips while he watched my tits bounce in his face. Then I dropped to the ground behind the desk and worked his jeans off. “We were right outside the bedroom door,” I whispered, taking him back to my fantasy. “And I was taking you in my mouth.” I circled his tip with my tongue before taking him all the way. “Just like this.”
“Baby.” He sighed, fisting his hands in my hair. “That’s so hot.”
I didn’t know if he was talking about the oral or the fantasy, but I continued with both. “You were pumping into my mouth so hard and fast your back was slamming against the door.”
“Cor…” He groaned, making my name sound like a dirty curse.
“Just like this,” I said, opening wider, letting him take the lead. “And you were about to let go but I whispered two little words.”
He stilled, releasing me. “What words?”
“It’s time.”
“What?”
“The right time for you to get me pregnant.” I let that sink in before I went back to circling him with my tongue. “We were trying to get pregnant again and it was the perfect time.”
He watched me, appearing stunned. “What did I do?”
“You threw me back on the floor and took me harder than you ever had.” I unbuttoned my jeans again and slipped my hand inside, rubbing myself. “You spilled so deep inside of me.” Oh, I was on the verge of coming again. “And you wouldn’t let me move. You wanted to make sure I didn’t spill a drop.”
“Cor, get over here. I need to be inside of you right now.”
I could tell he was as into it as I was, but I never imagined he’d want to re-enact the entire fantasy. What the hell? We’d already come this far. No sense turning back now. At least I’d have more fodder when I slipped between the sheets alone tonight.
I slipped my jeans off, but instead of allowing me to sit on top of him he led me to the long leather sectional in the corner of the room and pushed me back against the soft cushions. “It’s one thing to take you on the floor of our apartment,” he said, our lips twitching. “But these floors are probably too nasty for that.”
He was giving me this, I realized. This fantasy. He was really willing to play it out.
His eyes locked with mine as he crawled on top of me. “You were telling me about how I was filling you…?”
I reached for him, clawing his back as he thrust inside of me. “Jace, oh God…” I’d never been this turned on. We were in our place of work. Anyone could be walking past the door and I didn’t care. That spoke to my state of mind.
“Tell me more,” he said, flicking his tongue inside my ear. “Let me hear all of it.”
“I was so full,” I whispered, bringing my hips up to meet his frantic thrusting as I gripped his tight ass. “You were desperate to get me pregnant. You were so in love with your daughter, but you wanted a son…”
“Jesus, Cor, I need you to come for me. Now.”
“This is turning you on?” I whispered, unable to believe it.
“You have no idea. I’m dying here.”
That’s all it took for me to lose it. Knowing he was right there with me, I burst and he did the same, filling me, just like I’d imagined. Only I was on the pill. And this wasn’t real. He wasn’t really trying to get me pregnant. He didn’t really want to have a baby with me.
That was a sobering thought. I pushed against his shoulder, fighting back tears.
“Hey, you’re not allowed to move, remember?”
“Fuck off, Jace!” I knew I had no right to be mad at him. It was my stupid idea to act out this fantasy. I just never expected it to break my heart wide open.
“Hey, hey.” He pinned my wrists, refusing to let me go. “What the hell is this?”
Tears were burning my cheeks, slipping into my hairline and I couldn’t stop them. I hated letting him see me so vulnerable, but I had no choice. I had nowhere to go. He wouldn’t let me.
“You wanted to see me vulnerable?” I asked, glaring at him. “You wanted to bare me? To see what’s inside my soul? You want to know what images I get off to at night. Now you know.”
“Cor,” he said, leaning back as he swiped a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean to make it worse.”
I was still crying as I collected my clothes, thrusting my legs back into them. “You didn’t make anything worse. I did. I don’t hate you. I hate myself.”
***
Jace
I sat staring at the door long after she left. I tried closing my eyes, but every time I did I could see the picture she painted. I was pretty sure I’d go home tonight and see a pink nursery instead of a home office/guest bedroom. Just like she described.
I suddenly got why she’d been so crazy about having a baby if this was the kind of shit she’d been thinking about. I raked my shaky hands through my hair, wondering how I’d gotten so turned on when every other time she’d tried pitching the idea of a baby I shut her down.
Maybe it was having that sweet baby in my arms. Hearing her contented little sighs as she nuzzled against my chest. Inhaling that baby powder scent. Maybe it was the way she curled her finger around mine as I rocked her to sleep in my swivel chair or the way she cried out just as she was dozing and fell immediately back to sleep as soon as I soothed her by patting her diapered bottom and kissing her forehead.
How the hel
l had I even known to do that? Watching Cory with her. That’s how. Watching my girl playing the doting aunt, all the while she was dying to be a mom. But she couldn’t be. Because I wouldn’t let her. Maybe I really was a selfish bastard, after all.
Before I could dwell on that, someone tapped on the door. I hoped it was Cory, back to hash it all out because if there was one thing I hated it was seeing her cry. I’d give everything I owned if I never had to see that again.
“Hey,” Tracey said, poking her head in. “You seen my girl? Johnnie said he thought she was back here with you.”
“She, uh, was. But she must have taken off.” I turned away from her, booting up my computer. I couldn’t focus on orders, inventory, payroll, or scheduling now, but I didn’t want to have a showdown with Cory’s BFF either.
She clearly didn’t get the message because she stepped inside and slammed the door. Hard. “Where the hell is she, Jace? And don’t tell me you don’t know.” She twirled her finger in a circular motion in the air. “You’ve got that look on your face.”
“What look?” I asked, scowling at the screen.
“That guilty as sin look. Did you two get into it again?”
“Something like that,” I muttered.
Trace had never been my biggest fan ‘cause she knew Cory and I wanted different things out of life and she was worried I was going to hurt her best friend. Turns out she’d been right to sound the alarm, but I was grateful Cory hadn’t listened. If she had, I would have missed out on the best four years of my life.
“What happened?” she demanded. “And don’t you dare tell me nothing, ‘cause we both know I’m the one who’s going to be picking up the pieces.”
Sometimes I hated this nosy bitch. But other times I loved her ‘cause I knew she’d always have Cory’s back. I glared. “Don’t you know when to back off? We’re working through some shit, alright?”
“You shouldn’t have any shit to work through,” she said, fisting her hands on the desk and leaning over it. “You’re broken up, remember?”
Perfect Storm (The Exes #1) Page 4
