by K. K. Hendin
You’re not dating her, you asshole. You have a fucking girlfriend, remember?
One he’d spoken to three times since he moved to New York.
As opposed to Cedar, who had kind of/sort of moved into his place.
Who he was fucking on a nightly basis.
Jesus, he was a mess. He was going to call her and break up. Or go visit and break up. Fuck, how did you do a long-distance breakup?
“Almost there,” Cedar said, stopping in front of a locked gate.
Ellis sighed and tried to pretend he wasn’t freaking out about this party. His definition of party and Cedar’s definition of party were so different, he sometimes wondered if one of them was using the wrong word to describe whatever they were describing.
“You’ll be fine,” Cedar said, patting his hand as she drove down the road toward the enormous house lit up in lights. “You’re Ellis Carrington.”
“That doesn’t mean much.”
“How many times do I have to tell you before it finally sinks into your damn head?” Cedar snapped. “It is a big fucking deal. You own Feingold Investments. That is enormous.”
“Okay, Feingold Investments is a big fucking deal, but I’m not.”
“You are. It’s mostly by default, but soon, it’s not going to be.” Cedar looked at him. “As long as you stop with this defeatist shit. We don’t have time for it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Just keep telling yourself that you’re the reason that people are sucking up to you, not the money.”
Ellis snorted. “It’s always the money.”
“Well, obviously. But there are different kinds of sucking up. It’s always going to be at least a little bit about the money. The question is how much it is about the money. Once you prove that you deserved to inherit, it will be more about you than it will be about the money.”
Like that’s ever going to happen, Ellis thought glumly. No. Don’t be a defeatist.
Okay, pretend to not be a defeatist. As much as he wanted to talk to Cedar about this fucking complex that all the money gave him, he didn’t want her to feel like he was some pathetic asshole or whatever.
And if he kept whining, it was almost certain that that was going to be what she was thinking.
“You ready?” Cedar asked, parking the car next to someone’s Maserati.
“I am,” Ellis lied. “Are you?”
Cedar stretched up and kissed him quickly. “I’m always ready.” She patted his pants. “So are you.”
Ellis groaned. “Did you have to do that?”
Cedar giggled. “It’s so much fun.”
“Not when I’m about to walk into a party.”
“Well, just think of…I don’t know what. Something not sexy. Nuns? The Preamble? Public transportation? Wanda’s latest piece?”
“Wanda’s latest piece?” Ellis asked, hoping that whatever it was, it was terrifying enough for his erection to shrink. He was a goddamn fifteen-year-old virgin when it came to Cedar.
“Oh my God. I swear, I don’t know what the fuck is going on with her.” Cedar shook her head in disgust. “Her work has gone from good to absolute shit.” She rolled her eyes. “Literal shit. Because apparently that’s what she’s doing now.”
“Everybody shits. It’s not just a thing you decide to start doing after thirty something years or whatever.”
“Ha, ha. No, she decided she wanted to commit career suicide, and has started with Jackson Pollock-esque splatter painting with shit. Besides for the fact it’s actually the most disgusting thing that I have ever smelled, and that I have seen, it’s just…stupid.” Cedar rolled her eyes. “It had the potential of being amazing, but it’s just not. Not to mention that actual, literal shit is not the easiest thing to sell, anyway.”
“That sounds both horrifying and hilarious,” Ellis said.
“Well, horrifying, yes, hilarious, not so much. Not to mention she’s fucking the competition because she’s pissed off at me. I’m going to tear up her contract tomorrow. I was going to fuck the competition myself, but I have you. I can get her mad without pretending to want to be fucked by the smallest dick in New York.”
Ellis laughed, because it was so incredibly Cedar. Not to mention how relieved he was by the last sentence she had said. He knew they hadn’t had the relationship talk yet, but he didn’t want her to be fucking anyone but him.
“Good.”
“Good, what?”
“That you’re getting rid of her. Her stuff was creepy as shit, and not in a good way.”
Cedar laughed. “That’s more her than her art. And unfortunately, I couldn’t really train her out of it. Probably had something to do with her bed partners, now that I think about it.”
“And she’s expressing that through art?”
“Well, subconsciously, I suppose. Or she’s trying to do the whole not so subliminal message to me about how she feels about me.” Cedar rolled her eyes. “But I’ll be laughing last, so she can crate as much shit as she wants and send it to me. If I have to, I’ll have some sent to her, too.”
Ellis laughed. “I would pay to see her face if you actually sent her a crate of shit.”
Cedar smirked. “Maybe I will. As long as I get to see it, too.” She patted Ellis’s arm. “You ready now?”
“Physically? Yes.”
“All that talk of shit was a little much for you, huh?”
“Little bit, yeah.” Ellis wrapped his arm around her waist and walked toward the enormous double doors. “Are you sure I’m dressed for this?” he whispered.
Cedar pinched him lightly as they walked in. “Do you think I’d let you go to any party Christina throws not dressed to kill?”
“Maybe you’re trying to be nice.”
Cedar laughed. Not a little polite laugh, but a real one. “Nice?” she giggled. “I’m not nice.”
“Of course you are,” Ellis said, taking two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter.
“Whatever you want to believe, honey.” Cedar licked the lip of the champagne glass before taking a sip.
“And maybe stop doing that. People won’t be nearly so intimidated if I walk around with my pants tenting.”
She smiled. “Well, they’ll be impressed with the amount of tenting.”
“Jesus, woman. You’re trying to kill me.”
“Of course I’m not. Just having a little fun.” She twined her arm around his, and leaned onto him. “I’m excited.”
“About what?” he asked, leaning toward her. She was like the sun, and he was an idiot who couldn’t look away. He was going to get burned, he thought in a flash, looking down at her brilliant smile. He was going to go blind from staring at her for too long. For getting too close.
But it was worth the risk.
“About this party,” she said. “It’s always entertaining to watch Flor.”
“And her husband?”
“Not nearly as much fun it is to watch her. Sometimes, when I get bored, I keep track of how many times Flor touches Christina. Or how many times Christina says something that makes Flor blush.”
“Should we keep a tally of something else tonight?” Ellis asked, feeling reckless.
“What did you have in mind?”
“How many times will we think about something filthy we can do after this party?” he whispered into her ear.
She shivered and smiled up at him. “I may win this game.”
“Should we bet on it?”
“You’ll lose, but sure.”
“There should be a prize.” Cedar took a sip of champagne and smiled at someone across the room. It was like they were in some sort of bubble by themselves, and nobody was willing to be the one to pop it.
“I just realized something,” Ellis said, untangling his arm from hers.
“Hmm?”
“It’s the first time we’re out in public together.”
“We’ve been out together before.”
“Together, together,” he repea
ted.
“Are we?” she asked.
Oh, fuck. Was this all one-sided? Was he the idiot who was falling for her and she just thought he was a fuck buddy? A very high profile fuck buddy? Fuck, fuck, fuck. He had screwed everything up.
“I…uh…” he looked at her helplessly. “I thought we were.”
“Well, you never said anything,” she countered. “How was I supposed to know?”
“Babe, you basically live at my place. I don’t really do that casually.” Go for broke, Carrington. If this is going to crash and burn, it may as well be spectacular.
“How was I supposed to know that?” Cedar asked.
“Cedar, honey! Thank you so much for coming!” Christina came over and hugged her, effectively pausing the conversation until later. “Ellis, it’s nice to see you, too.” She looked from Ellis to Cedar to Ellis and back to Cedar again.
“Christina, babe.” Cedar leaned over and kissed her on both cheeks, pressing a little too close for Ellis’s comfort.
He caught a flash of green in the corner of his eye, and put two and two together. So. It was to make Florence jealous.
And even though she didn’t mean it, it made him jealous, too.
“Ellis. Pleasure to see you again,” Christina said, smiling up at him.
Shit, what was he supposed to do?
He settled for something in between nice and Feingold Investments heir. “Christina. You look wonderful.”
Cedar pinched him. Shit. Maybe too nice.
“Thank you. You two look lovely, too. I’m so happy you could make it.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Cedar answered smoothly.
We. We.
Was this her outing them? It was just Christina, though. Which meant maybe it wasn’t. Did Christina know that Cedar knew? And who the fuck was on the couch over there?
“Well, go and mingle. I’m sure everyone is waiting to get a chance to talk to both of you. Cedar, we’ll chat later, okay?”
“Of course, darling.” Cedar reached over to hug her again. “Keeping her on her toes again tonight?”
“You know I like to play.” Christina kissed them both and flowed away.
“Shall we mingle?”
“No, we shall wait for the masses to approach us first,” Ellis said.
“Nice answer.”
So he wasn’t entirely a fuck up.
“We’re finishing our conversation later,” Ellis said. “Is that clear?”
“Of course, babe.” Cedar raised onto her tiptoes and kissed him quickly.
She was staking a claim here, in front of everyone else at this party. People who were going to spread it, too.
He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “And I’m still going to win our bet, Cedar. You’re going down.”
“On you? Sounds fun.”
“Fuuuuck,” he groaned.
“If you behave.”
Being at a party as Cedar’s date was a rush. There was no other way to describe it. A terrifying rush, but a rush. In the back of his mind, he knew that he had enough going for him that he could stand on his own and people would be impressed, but with Cedar?
With Cedar, he felt like he had made it.
It didn’t take eighty-seven billion dollars for Ellis to feel like he was Ellis fucking Carrington and that should make people shake. Having Cedar lean against him at a party? He could conquer the world there.
He ignored the little voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he was actually dating someone else, not to mention he didn’t deserve any of this. He could deal with being neurotic a different time. Tonight, he was going to rub his relationship with Cedar into everyone’s faces.
Because they weren’t dating her.
He was.
And that made him happier than anything else had in a long time.
He smiled down at Cedar, and dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.
“What was that for?” she asked.
“Just because,” he answered.
She pulled him down for a kiss. One sweet and hot enough to make him wonder if his pants were going to light on fire from it.
“What was that for?” he asked.
She smiled. “Just because.”
She turned to smile at Jeffery Herzon, who was walking toward them. Like the Earth hadn’t just tilted back into place with that kiss.
He loved her, he realized.
He loved her.
It was too soon, it wasn’t smart, it could end terribly. But he loved her.
Why didn’t that scare the shit out of him?
She had definitely stayed up too late the night before, Cedar thought as she headed to Ellis’s office. Having a boyfriend was an enormous pain in the ass, and did not do wonders for her sleep, nor her complexion. It was one thing to pretend to be interested in him, and she was very good at that, but did he have to want to stay up all night and fuck her? It was getting hideously irritating, and did not help his chances in the slightest.
It was for eighty-seven billion dollars.
But it was getting on her nerves. And now, less than three hours after she last saw him, she was headed into his office for a board meeting. So much for not seeing him at all today.
Board meetings were a royal pain in Cedar’s ass too, especially when she had better things to do. And she had plenty to do that day, more important than sitting in a room of self-important bastards who were more concerned about bottom line numbers and Viagra than they should have been.
Not that bottom line numbers weren’t important. They were. But the board members were a little too concerned about the legality of how the money came into the company’s possession than Cedar liked, which was a headache she did not want to have to worry about today.
They were down to three potential scholarship winners. Even though the website had been redone and it scared away a hell of a lot of people Cedar didn’t want to have to deal with, it didn’t scare away everyone. Which was a good sign. The three possible scholarship winners had been very carefully researched, and had passed the initial rounds. There was potential there, but the question was just how much potential there was. And that couldn’t be determined until Cedar met them and had a little chat with each of them.
Jaz was flying in from Detroit, Randall had bummed a ride with a random truck driver from Tennessee, and Sandro was biking from Ohio. All three going to be put up in a hotel that was more than they had ever seen, but not as much as Cedar could have done. Dreaming big was still something they had to do. She needed the fresh faced optimist to earn this scholarship.
Well, she needed whoever it was to seem fresh-faced and optimistic. If they were in reality…well, maybe it would work for someone else. Not Cedar.
But no. Instead she was sitting in the conference room in what was now Ellis’s office, waiting for the meeting to begin. She whipped out her phone and began scrolling through her emails instead of making small talk with the other board members.
She was the only woman there. Which was nice, because Cedar didn’t get along with other women that much. Not that she got along well with men, but people expected her to get along with other women.
Like that was ever going to happen.
Wanda was gone, even though she kept on sending angry emails to Cedar. Which she was filing away for potential future use, because she wasn’t stupid. Hell, she wouldn’t have been sitting in the conference room if she was.
Where the fuck was Ellis? He had another two minutes and she was gone. Apparently timeliness was going to go on the never-ending list of things they had to work on. Because she did not have time for this shit.
She shot Svenson a dirty glare when he tried to start a conversation with her, and did a mental rundown of Ellis’s progress as someone with a backbone. He had done a decent job at Christina’s party, but she was pretty sure he didn’t believe it yet. Which had the potential of working to her advantage or disadvantage. But she wasn’t sure which one it was yet, which definitel
y put a damper on her problems.
Today was the other test for him. Not that he knew, or anything, but it was. There hadn’t been an official meeting since Ellis had taken over. There had been individual meetings, but one with all the board members? Today was the first day. Straight into the fire with him. Not to mention she’d be getting an official rundown of what was going on in all of the businesses. Well, most of them, anyway.
The door opened and Ellis walked in. Cedar put down her phone, crossed her arms, and sat back. He looked a little nervous. Which was fucking irritating, because they’d had this conversation before. More than once.
He was the little lamb walking into the middle of a pride of lions, she thought. They were going to destroy him.
And if he managed to survive today, she was going to be the one who did it.
He smiled at her, and she smiled back.
It was going to be her who was going to get him at the end. Sooner rather than later. But they were going to have to get more serious about him shaping up, otherwise there wouldn’t be much left for her when she finally got him where she wanted him.
He looked good. That was something, at least.
And then he opened his mouth.
If Cedar was the type to hit her head against the wall because it would be less painful than having to sit through this meeting, she would have. But she wasn’t. So instead she seethed, and glared at everyone in the room. Nobody escaped her silent fury.
‘Where the fuck are your balls?’ she wanted to yell at Ellis, but it wouldn’t have accomplished anything except for bringing her momentary gratification. But momentary gratification wasn’t eighty seven billion dollars.
Goddammit. And she had gone out with him. In public, practically. And he was a fucking disaster. Why had Harold left everything to him? If Harold weren’t dead, she would have killed him herself. Not to mention that Ellis was going to get quite the talking to that evening.
Depended on his mood. Maybe babying was necessary. But one thing was for certain. He was too vulnerable. He was too nice. He was too…floppy. Too indecisive. He was nothing but vulnerability and moderate self-esteem. Nothing but weak spots and whining. She was going to find all his weaknesses, plot them out on a map, and sink him like a battleship.
