At that moment, she longed for a man who would really love her, even if she weren’t pretty—a man who would take her in his arms and talk softly, kiss her gently. A man who would protect her against the darkness and all the terror it brought. A man who would love her without insisting on making her take his hard manhood inside her. She was always so dry and rigid with fear because the act hurt so much.
Bart knew she didn’t like being touched, so he ran his hands over her roughly every chance he got. And then he would spread her out, hold on to her breasts, and use her until he was sated.
She lived in a satin and jeweled hell.
Al had seemed sympathetic to her when he’d found her weeping one day. Silver, I’m warning you, you can’t keep this up. Bart Brett is a proud man and you could do worse. At least pretend to care about him. Pretend some passion.”
She looked up at him through her tears. I’m not a very good liar.”
How are you as a whore?” he said. When Bart finally loses interest in you, you’ll be servicing a couple of dozen men a night, not just Brett. Think about that.”
You seem like such a nice guy to be working for him,” she said.
Al colored. Brett’s the nearest thing I got to a friend and he pays me well.”
But Bart Brett didn’t lose interest in Silver. Maybe it was the challenge of having a woman who didn’t want him when every girl in the house hinted they would gladly take Silver’s place. Months passed. Brett continued to make use of her body whenever he felt the need. After a while, she didn’t fight him anymore. She didn’t respond at all.
Damn it, Silver!” he would shout. Fight me, love me back, just react in some way! I feel like I’m making love to a beautiful dead woman!”
I am dead in spirit,” she said, and responded even less because her soul felt so crushed and because it was the only way she knew to fight back. Silver couldn’t escape and she had too much pride to let him conquer her. Her revenge was engendering the rage he felt at not being able to reach her soul or make her respond to him.
Brett took her driving in his fine carriage, even dressed her up and escorted her to the theater. Men commented on her beauty and Brett displayed her like some lovely rare pet. He was at his zenith during these times, preening like a peacock while other men lusted after the beauty he owned.
Early on, Silver thought about running away on these outings or simply screaming for help. But she had a feeling no one would help her. Bart Brett was a powerful man with much influence and she couldn’t escape the silken prison he had made for her. She felt like a pet in a golden cage or a slave girl in a harem. The rest of the time, she never left Brett’s rooms at the big Victorian house. She made no friends with the girls of the establishment. Most seemed coarse and vulgar to the little farm girl, and they were all jealous of her place in Brett’s affections, making envious comments to her.
Bart Brett even tried forcing Silver to drink liquor before he took her to bed. If she wouldn’t drink it, he pried her mouth open and forced it down. Then she either swallowed or choked.
This’ll lessen your inhibitions,” he snarled, maybe you’ll respond to me instead of acting like a lovely corpse.”
What might have made her respond was gentleness, tenderness, a feeling of sincere caring rather than lust for her voluptuous body, but of course she didn’t say that because she wasn’t sure he was capable of dealing with that kind of response. Half the time when he dragged her to bed, she was half drunk as well as wet with the spilled liquor. It made her feel degraded, but at least the pain wasn’t so bad.
The more frustration he displayed, the more determined she was that he would never get the response he wanted from her. He could use her body, but he could never break her spirit.
Months passed. She saw the leaves turn brown then blow away with winter’s coming. Silver knew everyone in the house whispered that she had become his obsession and that the master now was the slave. It didn’t matter to her. Nothing mattered except escaping this place and Bart Brett’s bed. He began to drink heavily.
And one night, he got drunk and wept. What does it take to get through to you, Silver? What does it take to make you come into my arms the way I want you to?”
She toyed with a button on her negligee, not knowing what answer he wanted to hear. Maybe someday she could love a man if he was kind and gentle with her and loved her for some other reason besides her beauty. But Bart Brett was not that man.
Look,” he said, kneeling before her chair, look, I’ll marry you. Is that what you want? You want the ring and the whole thing? Is that what you’re holding out for?”
Marriage?” She looked at him blankly. The thought had never occurred to her.
I’ve never told you this, but I’m from a very rich and prominent family.” He took her hand between both of his. My brother Lon and I are the black sheep, but the rest of the family is highly respectable.”
She simply stared at him, feeling nothing, registering nothing.
He must have taken her silence for interest. Look”—he squeezed her hand—I’ll sell this place. We’ll close the door on all this and go back East where I come from. No one need know anything. You could be part of the best society there, Silver. I’ll invent a past for you. With your beauty, you could be the most talked about, admired wife of the social set.”
Her beauty. Always her beauty.
Bart, you know someday my beauty will fade. I wonder if you will care for me when I am wrinkled and old.”
The idea must never have occurred to him. Let’s not even think about that,” he said eagerly. That’s a long time away. I can’t even imagine you not being the flawless beauty you are, Silver. That’s what I love the most about you, you know.”
She knew. It was what Elmer Neeley had loved and lusted after, too. Ma had been right; she was worthless without her pretty face. Was there no man anywhere who would love her for any other reason? Who would love her when her beauty faded?
The only other person Silver ever saw and talked to was the ugly Italian whom Brett trusted more than anyone in the world. She sensed that Al pitied her, admired her spunkiness, was maybe even drawn to her. But he was loyal as a watch dog to Bart Brett. The one time she did manage to slip out the door and make it as far as the train station before Al caught up with her and returned her to the mansion, she sensed almost a shame on his part as they got inside the elegant carriage and she wept all the way back.
Al began to look a little gray, a little drawn.
You ought to see a doctor,” she said. What would Brett do if something happened to you and there wasn’t anyone around to lick his boots, run his errands, and count his money for him?”
The ugly Italian colored. You got no right to talk to me like that. If you were mine, I wouldn’t let you go either.”
It was then she realized that Al was in love with her; she saw it in his eyes and he saw at that moment that she had guessed his secret.
You love me, don’t you,” she said quietly.
What does it matter?” he snapped defensively. Every man who sees you loves you.”
Not loves me, wants me,” Silver sighed. There’s a difference. If you love me, Al, doesn’t it bother you that he pours liquor down my throat and forces himself on me a couple of times a night?”
He stood there, his powerful shoulders shaking, his fists clenched. So much that I could kill him for it,” he whispered through clenched teeth. A beauty like you should be put up on a pedestal, and adored and worshiped. If you were mine, I wouldn’t expect you to let me make love to you—not an ugly bastard like me.”
Thanks for the kind thought, Al.” Without thinking, Silver reached out and patted his arm. He pulled away as if she had touched him with a hot poker.
I am Bart Brett’s right-hand man,” he said and that’s where my loyalty lies. I’ll forget we had this conversation.”
Drat it all! I didn’t really expect any help,” she said. You just seemed nicer than most men I’ve met, Al. I thought you
might want to do one noble thing in your whole life.”
Al looked a little grayer, his features more pinched with each day. He took to carrying a bottle of bitters and sipped on it often.
What’s with you?” she asked him one afternoon.
I just remembered lately that I promised my old mother I wouldn’t drink whiskey, but this has a high alcohol content.”
I thought you were an orphan and since when don’t you drink?”
There was something about his veiled expression that made her suspect he was hiding something from her. Maybe not. What difference did it make?
Al had come up to ask if she would like to see some fine jewels that an elegant store wanted to send out on approval. She shook her head. In all this time, Silver had become a connoisseur of fine jewelry, but she cared little about it. Brett used gems to display her, to make other men envy him his beautiful pet.
Al started to leave the room, then hesitated. Silver, do you—do you believe in God?”
She was taken aback. Of course I do. That’s a strange comment from you. What brought this on?”
He took the bitters bottle from his pocket and took a big swig. Oh, I don’t know.” He sounded a little bit too careless. Something that’s come up lately made me think about it. It’s occurred to me I never did anything noble in my whole life—you know, where there wasn’t something in it for me.”
Silver shrugged. That’s the way the world works.”
It shouldn’t. We might be held accountable.”
She looked at him, puzzled. I don’t understand what you’re driving at.”
He seemed to be carrying on some inner struggle. I’m going to help you get out of here.”
She didn’t dare to hope and she couldn’t be dishonest with him. Al, I won’t be your mistress either.”
He laughed. An ugly guy like me and a beauty like you? I wouldn’t expect that. It would be enough just to be close to you, to look at you.”
She had been through too much despair to hope. Maybe she even thought it was a trick. What are you planning?”
Don’t ask,” he said softly. The less you know, the better off you’ll be.”
Al, you’ve got a good place with Brett. You’d be throwing it all away to help me. Why?”
He paused, his hand on the doorknob. Let’s just say I never done nothing noble in my whole life and I might not get another chance. And my life . . . well, it’s not worth much. If anything happened to me, I wouldn’t want to think I left you a prisoner in this place. You matter to me, Silver, you matter a lot.”
Things were much the same as the days passed and she said nothing to Al about it. Maybe he had only been tormenting her; maybe he had thought it over and realized how much he had to lose and how little he had to gain.
When it finally happened, Silver was not expecting it, but evidently Al had planned it down to the last detail. It was late at night, all the customers had gone, and the house was quiet and asleep—except for her and Brett. He was very drunk and using her brutally. Silver lay across the bed while he raped her, his back to the door.
She saw the door open and was too frightened to do anything but watch Al come in. Brett was deep in the throes of passion, his mouth all over her breasts as he rode her body.
Al came up behind him, anger and disgust etched on his homely face. In that split second, one of his hands went over Brett’s mouth and Al jerked him back with a snap of his powerful arms. She thought she heard Brett’s neck break as he went limp in Al’s hands.
For a moment, they could only both stare with disbelief at the still form and then Al let it fall on the bed.
Oh my God, Al, I think you’ve killed him!”
I meant to! When I saw what he was doing to you—never mind, get dressed, we’ve got a train to catch.”
She clutched her gown to her heaving breasts, staring at the limp body. You broke his neck! I didn’t know you were going to kill him.” She began to weep.
Silver, I’d do it again to get you out of here.” He grabbed her arm, his hands trembling. Get dressed. I’ve got everything planned.”
She felt so numb, it was all she could do to get up and get dressed while Al threw a few of her things, including her jewels, in a bag.
Silver, you may not care about these, but remember jewels can give you as much security as money.” He took her arm and led her out of the house into the night.
It was a blur from then until she found herself on a train headed away from Chicago. Where—where are we going?”
We’ll catch a stagecoach later. There’s boomtowns aplenty out West and I know a little about running a saloon; Brett taught me.”
Brett had power and influence; they’ll be looking for us.”
Let them look.” His face was pale and grim with determination.
We can’t run very far with no money,” she argued.
We got money; a whole valise full. Did you forget I have the combination to Brett’s safe?”
Silver was horrified. You robbed him?”
He smiled without mirth. It was dirty money—illegal money from prostitutes and gambling.”
Oh, Al, how could you have done this? He was your friend. Brett trusted you.”
Al looked out the window at the passing scene. Judas betrayed his friend, too. This is something I have to live with, Silver, it’s not on your conscience. To help you, I’d do it all over again.”
She leaned back in the seat, totally drained and exhausted. I never dreamed you intended murder and robbery.”
That’s why I didn’t tell you. At heart, you’re a good person, Silver. You would have tried to stop me.”
She closed her eyes and wept softly.
Don’t, Silver,” Al whispered, it’s all right now. You don’t ever have to let a man put his hands on you again. If I get to see you every day, that’ll be enough for me.”
Days later, they stepped off a stagecoach in the town Al had chosen—a raw boomtown in the Rockies. Al bought a saloon and put it in her name. At first she expected to see the law turn up on the doorstep. But months passed and nothing happened. She was safe finally—Al’s shotgun saw to that.
She opened her eyes slowly. Her shoulder felt as if it were on fire. Where was she? This wasn’t her room at the Nugget, it was a log cabin. What was she doing here? The last thing she remembered was riding across that gully and the sound of thunder before pain flashed through her body and she fell from her saddle.
Silver, are you awake?”
She looked up into the dark, rugged face of Cherokee Evans. What . . . what happened? Where is everyone?”
His big fingers touched her face ever so gently. You’ve been shot. My pards have gone for help.”
Panic welled up in her. We’re—we’re here alone?”
Alone,” he nodded.
She had not been so afraid since the night Al had killed Brett. She saw that look in Cherokee’s eyes. He wanted her body as Bart Brett had wanted it. She wasn’t safe anymore!
Chapter Six
Silver stared up at him, a little delirious. She had never felt so hot before. Maybe she was having a nightmare. Or maybe she’d died and ended up in hell. She would close her eyes and wish it all away. When she opened them again, she would be safe in her bed at the Nugget with the door double-locked and the light burning by her bedside.
She was afraid of that big half-breed; that was why he had come into her nightmare. The way he had looked at her in the Nugget let her know what he wanted from her—as all men did. Only he looked bigger and more virile than the others, so he would hurt her more. Somewhere, she heard the wind howling. It sounded lonely and cold. Then why was she so hot?
She managed to run the tip of her tongue along her dry lips. Hot ...” she murmured. So very hot.”
A man’s voice said, Would snow taste good?”
Snow. So many memories about snow. She was a little girl laughing and playing in the snow with her daddy—her real daddy. They made snow ice cream, all frosty and sweet
on the tongue while Ma complained about them wasting the precious sugar. He pulled her on a sled and they laughed and made angels by lying on their backs and moving their arms up and down.
Snow,” she whispered, yes, snow.”
And miracle of miracles, there it was on her lips and tongue, so cold and good, melting and trickling into her mouth. But her body was still hot. She squirmed in misery, remembering the hard work in the broiling heat of the farm. Hot,” she said again.
She must be in bed; someone was pulling back the covers. Then there was cool water on her feverish skin and she smiled in her sleep.
Feel good?” a man asked.
She didn’t open her eyes; she was afraid of what she would see. She dreamed she was swimming naked in the cool creek that ran through the farm. It felt so good and it was so naughty. Ma told her it was. When she caught her at it, Ma whipped her and whipped her with a peach tree switch, leaving little red welts all over her small bottom.
She would not think about that now. She would enjoy swimming in the cool water that felt so good on her feverish skin until Ma came to scold her.
Cherokee paused in sponging the girl’s feverish body. She was smiling in her unconscious state. Her fever had risen and he didn’t know what to do except put bits of snow between her lips and sponge her naked body down with cool water.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. He smiled ruefully, remembering something his friend Shawn had said one time. Cherokee had the girl in his power, all right, just like he had dreamed of. That was as far as it went. He wasn’t enough of a monster to rape an unconscious girl, and more than that, he was worried about the fever that made her skin shine with perspiration.
What a beauty she was! He studied her closely as he sponged her skin all over, feeling a little guilty that she was helpless to escape his eyes—but not guilty enough not to look at her as he wrung the cloth out and began at her breasts and worked his way down her body to her toes all over again.
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