by Jay Posey
“Our principals are the priority,” Gamble said. “The only question to answer is if we’re more secure somewhere on our own, or if we need to bunk up with these people for a night.”
In the midst of everyone talking, Cass gradually became aware of a growing sense that she had somehow completely lost all control of her own life. Even knowing that Gamble and her team had the best intentions, it grated on her that they were talking all around her, and no one was talking to her.
How had Cass come to a place where she’d allowed others to sit around and decide her fate without even acknowledging her presence? And the more she reflected, the harder it was for her to remember when she’d ever truly been in control. For so long, it seemed like Cass had just been trying to manage the impact of everyone else’s decisions on her and her son.
“If they’ve got a safe place,” Wick was saying, “I don’t care how many people they’ve got inside. That saves us the hard work of trying to reinforce a position in the ninety minutes we’ve got until sunset.”
Able was standing off to one side, observing, as was his way. Sometimes she wondered how he differently he read these situations in his silent world. He somehow seemed more aware than most, despite his deafness. Maybe because of it. Cass caught his eye, and he dipped his head towards her. Acknowledgment.
“We walk in there, I guarantee we walk out poorer for it,” Swoop said.
“I’m sorry,” Cass said, interrupting. All eyes turned to her. “Can someone please remind me at what point I turned over my authority?”
Wick and Finn exchanged glances. Sky dropped his gaze to the table in front of him. Swoop’s jaw clenched at the admonishment. He didn’t care for it, but he wouldn’t challenge her. Wren sat up, moving his head off of her shoulder, and put his hands in his lap.
Gamble held up a hand. “All due respect, Miss Cass–” she started, but Cass cut her off.
“That sentence never ends with the amount of respect actually due, Gamble.” She let it hang in the air for a moment. “I understand that you’re in your element out here. You’re not used to having us tag along. But I would appreciate it if you would at least show us a little respect… in considering that we’re talking about the safety of my son, and that I might have something to say about it.”
“Of course,” Gamble said, but her words were clipped. “Lady Cass.”
“These people rescued Wren before. They cared for him when I could not. Without them, neither of us would be here now. I owe it to them to do whatever I can.”
“Is it worth your life?” Swoop asked flatly.
Cass chewed the inside of her lip involuntarily for a quick moment. Then she answered, “It’s worth the risk.”
“Then let’s quit wasting time,” Swoop said, and he stood up and headed for the door.
“But you’re under no obligation,” Cass added. “I know there’s danger. None of you should feel forced to go with us.”
“We had this conversation already, Cass. It’s not even a question,” Gamble said. “Where you go, we go.” Then she addressed her team. “Saddle up, boys. We’ll move out when our friends do.”
The team didn’t argue, now that the decision had been made. They all got up and went to make ready to leave. Gamble stood up and turned her back to Cass as she watched her team exit, but she lingered until the others were gone.
“Thank you, Gamble,” Cass said. “Sorry if I came across too harshly.”
“You were right, you’re the authority,” Gamble said, at first without looking at Cass. But she took a quick breath and turned around, and Cass saw the glint in her eyes. “But in the future, I’d prefer you address your concerns to me directly, and not put that on my boys. It wasn’t my intention to overstep my bounds, but we speak freely as a team. That’s how we operate. If that’s not your way, that’s fine, but as you said, this is our element. It’d be best if you don’t get our wires crossed out here. When it comes down to it, I can’t have any one of my boys questioning whose order they’re supposed to follow.”
Looking into Gamble’s eyes, Cass wasn’t intimidated. A dark thought flitted through her mind about how easily she could take Gamble apart – if Cass wanted to. Gamble didn’t know who she was talking to. Not really.
“I’ll go let Lil know your decision,” Gamble said.
“Sounds good,” Cass answered. They continued to stare at each other for a second longer, and then Gamble turned and walked away. As soon as her back was to Cass, Cass felt as if a spell had broken and she was ashamed of the thought she’d had. Where had that hostility come from? Gamble had never been anything but a trusted friend and ally. Cass closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She had to be careful not to let paranoia get to her.
“It might not be safe, Mama,” Wren said, his voice interrupting her thoughts. She opened her eyes and looked at him sitting next to her, small and pale, with his shining green eyes. Too beautiful and fragile a thing for such a world. She reached out and stroked his hair and the side of his face.
“I know, but it’s the right thing to do,” Cass answered.
Wren shook his head. “No, I mean it might not be safe for them.”
“I thought you’d want to go with them. With Lil, especially.”
“I do,” he said, looking back down at his hands in his lap. “I just worry. I don’t want to bring any more trouble on them.”
Cass leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “The world’s full of trouble, son, whether we bring it or not. But we should do what good’s in our power, however little it may seem.”
Wren said, “I wish Chapel was here.”
“Me too. I would’ve liked to have met him.”
“I’m going to guh, to guh, go for a walk,” Painter said, standing.
Cass looked at him, unsure if he was joking or not. “We’re going on a pretty long walk here in just a few minutes, Painter. You can’t wait?”
He shook his head. “Just need to be alone for a ffff-few minutes. Clear my head.” He started off towards the courtyard.
“Don’t go far,” Cass said.
“I won’t.”
She watched as Painter descended the stairs and stopped at the base for a moment, looking left and right. Then he turned left and disappeared from view. He’d been awfully quiet since they left Morningside. Not that he’d ever been much of a talker. But he seemed acutely anxious. Maybe once they got somewhere safe, he’d settle down and be able to relax. It wasn’t easy for any of them, but Painter probably least of all. He’d been a Morningsider his whole life, even if most of it had been outside the wall.
Wren leaned forward on the table, and rested his head on his crossed arms. Cass rubbed his back in a slow, even motion, as she used to do when he had trouble sleeping. They sat together in silence for a time, each lost in their own thoughts. Outside the simple building, the sky was growing darker, with the afternoon sun hidden behind a blanket of heavy grey clouds, and a steady breeze that carried with it the scent of coming rain. After several minutes, Mouse climbed the few steps and stood at the entrance.
“We’re about ready,” he said.
“OK, we’ll be right there,” Cass answered.
“Where’s Painter?”
“Should be around nearby. Said he needed a little alone time to clear his head.”
Mouse frowned a little at that. “Alright. I’ll find him.” He started back down the stairs.
“He went off to the left.”
“Check.”
Wren had apparently dozed off. His mouth was open and the sleeve of his coat had a dark spot where it was wet with drool. Cass gently woke him. He sat up slowly and smacked his lips, and then wiped his mouth with his hand. It seemed to take him a moment to remember where he was.
“Time to go?” Wren said.
“Yeah.”
He nodded and got to his feet. “I hope they have a place for us to sleep.”
“Me too, baby.”
They gathered their things and went to j
oin the others, hand in hand. A cluster of people had formed in the courtyard, off in the direction of the small crop field, a mix of the two teams. Several of Lil’s people had bulky bags on their backs, filled no doubt with whatever still-useful things they could collect from their former home. Most of Gamble’s team were there already, though Wick, Mouse, and Painter weren’t there yet.
“Have you seen Mouse?” Gamble asked as Cass and Wren approached.
“Yeah, he went to get Painter.”
Gamble furrowed her brow. “Where’d Painter go?”
“Just around the courtyard, I think,” Cass said. “I told him not to go far.”
Gamble sucked her teeth and made a little clicking noise. The wind gusted and a few small drops of rain spattered down. The last of Lil’s people walked up to join the group.
“Are we almost ready?” Lil asked.
“Almost,” Gamble said. “Missing a couple of mine.”
“We’ll need to leave very soon,” Lil said. She glanced up at the ever-darkening sky. “The Weir may be out earlier tonight.”
“Understood.”
They all waited in impatient silence for another minute or two. Some of Lil’s group shifted their packs and exchanged glances. The message was obvious.
“Did he say where he was going?” Gamble asked Cass.
“No,” Cass said. “I just assumed he’d stay in the courtyard. I told him not to wander off.”
“I should’ve left someone with you,” Gamble said to herself. And then she started to message, “Mouse, Gamble…” but Mouse appeared from around behind a building, and she called out, “Any luck?”
Mouse shook his head, obviously frustrated. Raindrops started falling; it was light but steady. Gamble mumbled a curse.
“Why don’t you go ahead and get started?” Gamble said to Lil. “No reason for you to get caught out in the open on our account.”
“We’ll help you look,” Lil answered, but Gamble waved her off.
“No, ma’am,” she said. “If we all get scattered, we’ll lose even more time trying to get everybody back together. Get underway. We’ll catch up.”
“But you don’t know the way,” said Lil.
“I’ll stay with them,” Elan said. Lil gave him a concerned look, but he just nodded. “Go ahead. We’ll be fine.”
“I hate to leave you,” Lil said. She was looking at Elan when she said it, but then she scanned Cass and Wren and the rest of them, too.
“We’ll just be a few minutes behind,” Cass said. The rain started to pick up enough that those with hoods started pulling them up. Lil wavered a moment more, and then nodded.
“Elan can pim me if you need us to come back.”
“Thanks,” Gamble said. “See you in a few.”
Lil nodded and then motioned to her people, who started off towards the west from where they’d first appeared. Gamble immediately rattled off orders: “Swoop, Able, Sky, start searching. I’ll help in a second.” The three men dropped their packs at their feet and fanned out in different directions. “Finn, see if you can sniff out a signal, let me know if you get any hits.”
“Will do.”
“Mouse, mind the cargo, and you,” Gamble said as she waved a hand over Cass and Wren, “wait right here.” Then she looked up slightly and said, “Wick, we’ve got a delay. Lil and her people are moving out, we’ll have to catch up… Painter’s missing… No, sit tight. I’ll update you in a few.”
Cass almost offered to help look, but she remembered her earlier conversation with Gamble and decided to keep her mouth shut. Gamble had it under control. Cass just nodded. Gamble gave Mouse a quick nod and then went to join the others in the search. Finn sat down on the ground cross-legged, and his eyes went unfocused.
“I’m sorry,” Cass said. “I shouldn’t have let him wander off alone.”
“It’s not your fault,” Mouse said. “He’s old enough to know better.”
The voices of the other team members echoed through the ruined village as they called Painter’s name. But there was never an answer.
“I hope he’s OK,” said Wren.
Mouse got down on one knee in front of Wren, and was still about six inches taller. “I’m sure he’s fine, buddy,” he answered. “Just rattled, probably.”
“He doesn’t seem like himself,” Wren said.
Mouse nodded. “It’s been hard going. Not everyone’s as tough as you and your mom.”
Wren dropped his gaze to the ground, always embarrassed by praise. Mouse smiled and clapped him gently on the shoulder, and then got back to his feet.
“I don’t think you’d remember me,” Elan said. “But I remember you.” Wren looked up at him. “You played with my son, Ephraim.”
Wren nodded, and he opened his mouth to ask a question, but then closed it again, uncertain. Elan anticipated the question anyway.
“He’s safe, at the refuge. I was fortunate.” He smiled, but tears welled up in his eyes. After a moment he inhaled quickly and cleared his throat. “You’ve been in Morningside?” Elan asked.
Wren nodded.
“That’s a long way to travel just for a visit.”
Wren looked up at Cass then.
“We haven’t always been cityfolk,” she answered. “It can get overwhelming.”
Elan held her gaze for a moment and then nodded. Whether he suspected there was more to the story or not, he didn’t push, and for that she was thankful. “And the man you were with… um. I’m sorry I’ve forgotten his name.”
“Three,” Wren said. “He died.” He said it so bluntly that it was almost shocking. Somehow it seemed even more dreadful to hear coming out of the mouth of a child.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. He was a good man.”
Wren nodded again, and after that they all stood without speaking for a while. In the background, they could still hear the occasional call for Painter, though by this time none of them expected a response. Even with Mouse’s reassurances, Cass felt increasingly foolish for having let Painter out of her sight. When they found him, it wasn’t a mistake she would repeat. If they found him. It seemed all too apparent that Painter wasn’t helping himself be found.
And then it occurred to her that they might have to make a tough decision if they didn’t locate him soon. How long could they risk everyone’s lives for the sake of one? And who would that be on, then? Would Cass make the call? Or would Gamble? Cass knew it’d be unfair to leave that decision to Gamble, after the fuss she’d made earlier.
“How much longer do we give them?” Elan asked quietly.
“As long as they need,” Mouse answered. “We’re not going to leave him behind.”
“We might have to,” Cass responded. Mouse and Wren both looked at her, each with different but equally questioning expressions. “But not yet.”
Just then Finn stirred and sat up straighter. “They got him. They’re on their way back now.” He got to his feet and started gathering his gear.
“Who found him?” Cass asked.
“Able,” Finn said. “Of course.”
“I would’ve put money on Swoop,” Mouse said.
“Yeah, well, Swoop might’ve killed him, so it’s probably for the best.”
Swoop emerged from behind one of the buildings and came towards them at an aggressive pace. He had a dark, smoldering look on his face.
“He still might,” Mouse said.
When Swoop reached them, he snatched his heavy pack up off the ground and slung it with some effort onto his back. Sky and Gamble came quickly striding over. A few moments later Painter appeared from another direction, followed closely by Able.
Painter had his head down, and they weren’t moving as fast as everyone else. Everyone had their gear up and locked in by the time Painter and Able reached them. Swoop started towards Painter.
“Hey! Hey,” he barked, “you ever put us at risk again, I promise–”
But Able stepped around in front of Painter, putting himself between the two, and he held up a
hand and shook his head. Swoop stopped and shut his mouth, but Cass could see the muscles working in his jaw. He glowered at Painter for a few more tense moments, and then turned away in disgust.
“Let’s get moving,” Gamble said. “Elan?”
Elan dipped his head and led them off in the direction the others had gone. Painter slipped in next to Cass and a little behind her, but he wouldn’t look at anyone.
Wren dropped back to join him.
“Are you OK?” he asked. Cass glanced over her shoulder and saw Painter nod, though he still just kept his eyes on the ground. Mouse and Able trailed behind them, and though they had their heads up scanning the surroundings, it was clear they were mostly watching Painter.
As they left the compound, the rain settled into a steady shower of small drops and Cass found she didn’t mind walking through it. Under other circumstances, she might’ve even thought it pleasant. But between the ruined village behind them, the tension around them, and the unknown that lay ahead, it was hard to feel any sense of enjoyment.
Wren rejoined her and she held out her hand, but he didn’t take it. His hood was up and Cass couldn’t see his face. From his posture she could tell it wasn’t by accident. He didn’t want her to see him right now. She leaned forward just enough to catch the glimmer of wetness on his cheeks. She straightened without saying anything.
They pressed on in silence, Elan leading the way with Swoop close behind. Gamble and her team maintained a loose ring around Cass and the boys as they moved. About ten minutes into the journey, they crested a little rise in the terrain and saw a figure standing to one side of their path. It was Wick, waiting for them. He fell in with them when they drew near and held a quiet conference with Swoop and Gamble at the front of the group as they continued on their way.
Thunder rolled ahead of them, a distant rumble dull and weighty, and a cold wind swirled the rain into their faces. As they walked, the buildings around them became shorter, the remains more jagged, like broken teeth thrusting up from a fossilized jaw. The sky grew a darker grey above them, ominous and brooding, though it was hard to tell whether it came from the gathering storm or from the onset of dusk. Possibly both. Their pace was quickening, and Cass began to feel the urgency of their journey more acutely.
