She nodded. “Yes you did.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For meeting with me.”
“Has it helped?”
“No, but maybe it will going forward.”
She nodded. “Thank you for leveling with me. I couldn’t understand why you left. I’m not sure I understand now, but at least I know it wasn’t me.”
He shook his head. “It was never you. You were perfect.”
“I wish you would stop saying that.”
“Why? It’s the way I felt.”
“It makes me uncomfortable, that’s all.”
He shrugged. “I said I would be honest with you.”
She nodded slowly as she stared at the table. “I hated you, Gabriel. I hated you for what you did and how you did it.” She looked up. “Now I hope you find some peace and you can be happy, too.”
Their coffee and horchata were only half gone, but this seemed like a good place to wrap it up. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or hurt her again. “Let me take you back to your car.” He rose then tossed a one on the table, ending their meeting.
She rose with him, her feelings in turmoil. He had hurt her, badly, but he hadn’t done it to be malicious or cruel, and he hadn’t left her for someone else. She could see the pain and regret in his eyes, and with the way he spoke she could tell he had believed he was doing the right thing. And though she was loath to admit it, in some ways he had. Yes, he had handled how he left her badly, but she didn’t see herself being in the motorcycle scene. That much he had right. If he’d just talked to her, laid it all out like he had done now, maybe they both could have moved on.
The realization hit her like a flash of heat. She hadn’t moved on, just like he hadn’t. She thought she was over him, but sitting there, sipping coffee, she realized deep inside there was still a glow, a feeble ember of feeling for him that was yet to die. She didn’t love him anymore, not like she did, but she wasn’t truly over him either, despite her words to the contrary. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s apathy. She had worried he would hurt her again, but he couldn’t hurt her if she didn’t still care.
They rode through the early morning hours, her stomach churning, that little ember of feeling for him glowing more strongly.
He pulled the bike to a stop behind her car and killed the engine. “Thank you for doing this for me,” he said quietly as he removed his helmet.
She nodded. “I’m glad we talked.”
He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, holding her snuggly, his cheek resting on her head. After a moment her arms went around his waist and they held each other for a long time, saying nothing. She felt him take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he breathed into her ear. “I would do anything to be able to take back what I did. I hope you can find someone who loves you the way you deserve. If you ever need anything, call me. I’ll be there. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what.”
There was something about him that made her believe him. He hadn’t asked for forgiveness, hadn’t asked her to come back to him, hadn’t asked for anything. He’d done just as he said and laid it out why he’d left her, and was stepping out of her life as she asked.
She didn’t know who made the first move, but as their hug dissolved their lips met. The kiss started out innocent and slow, a kiss of sweet parting, but it quickly flared, gaining momentum and heat. He pulled her in and held her in the kiss as her hands tangled in his hair, pulling his lips harder into her own.
He gasped as he pulled back, looking down, unable to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She stared at him, her passions roaring into life. She wanted him, wanted him like she hadn’t wanted anyone since he left. “I wanted you to,” she said slowly, but made no move to entice him into another kiss.
His head snapped up and his eyes met hers. He looked at her for several moments. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes.”
He gently cradled her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. “I wanted it, too.”
She let him hold her face for a moment, then with a sad smile reached up and stroked his cheek. There was so much between them she didn’t know if they could ever get past it, but after a moment he brought his lips to hers again, kissing her softly, gently, a slow caress of her lips with his own.
She stepped back and watched his eyes as she licked her lips, enjoying the fading warmth of his kiss. She smiled. “Take me home?”
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
A flicker of a smile played across his lips. “Me neither. Where?”
She smiled softly. “Same place we lived.”
He swallowed hard. He hadn’t intended for this to happen and it could go wrong in so many ways. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”
She stretched up to take his lips. “Then be gentle with me,” she breathed as the kiss dissolved.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
It was almost two, and Stella hated to call, but a promise was a promise.
“Everything go okay?” Connie asked, her voice thick and slow with sleep.
“I’m going home now,” Stella replied, not mentioning Gabriel was following close behind her car on his motorcycle.
“See you in the morning.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
It was a short drive to her apartment and he parked in the nearest available visitor spot. She was unlocking the apartment door when he joined her. “It’s not too late to change your mind,” he murmured.
“I want to. Do you?”
He smiled, a smile she remembered so well. “More than you can possibly know.”
She pushed the door open and they stepped inside. She didn’t turn on any lights as she walked down the short hallway to the bedroom they once shared. He followed and, as they entered, she stopped, turned, and melted into his arms. “I didn’t know how much I missed you until tonight,” she said softly.
“I understand,” he replied softly as he held her. The urge to apologize again was almost overwhelming, but he held his tongue. He’d already apologized for what he’d done, and if this was a new beginning, he wanted to leave the past in the past.
He kissed her, a slow tentative meeting of their lips. As they pulled back, he wanted to tell her he loved her, but again he held his tongue, his feelings a jumble he couldn’t sort out. The love he once felt for her came surging back, but he was unsure, unsure he could trust his feelings. Having her in his arms again was a dream fulfilled, but had he so damaged their relationship it would never recover? He couldn’t give his heart to her then lose her again.
She sighed out of the kiss then laid her head against his chest and listened to the thudding of his heart. Hearing the slow rhythmic beat brought back so many good memories she smiled. Did she want to try again? Her heart cried yes, but her more rational side was wary, afraid of being hurt again. He had left her once and she wondered if he would do so again, and she had Katrina to think about. What would she think if her father suddenly appeared in her life? What if she accepted him then he left again?
“What are you thinking?” he asked softly.
“I’m confused. I don’t know what I want. I want to trust you, but I’m afraid you’ll hurt me again.”
He nodded slowly. “I’m not the same person I was. I’ll never hurt you again. We’ll take it slow. Let me prove myself to you.”
She looked up at him, her eyes adjusted to the gloom, and she could see a determination and strength there she’d never seen in him before. She smiled at him. She wouldn’t give him her heart again, but he could earn it. “Take me to bed.”
He smiled then picked her up, holding her tight around the waist as he carried her the three steps to the bed. He lay her gently in the bed before lowering himself lightly onto her. He took her lips, kissing her slowly, erotically. It would take time, but he would earn her trust
. He would show her she could depend on him, then, maybe, they could recapture what they once had.
He kissed down her throat, pausing at the hollow, a spot she liked. After a moment, he moved on, kissing under her jaw before pausing again, this time under her ear, kissing her slowly the way she enjoyed. He began to suck softly on the lobe of her ear, causing her eyes to drift closed in pleasure. She smiled as he nibbled leisurely at her ear, her hand on the back of his head, secretly pleased that he remembered all her favorite spots.
He moved from her ear, kissing slowly along her jawline, then down. He paused, pulling her up to remove her shirt and bra, before laying her gently back. She tugged at his shirt and he smiled as he removed his colors, then his shirt, before resuming his leisurely exploration. She had softened slightly in the past four years, her breasts becoming a bit fuller, her hips a bit wider, and she was more beautiful because of it.
As he kissed down her body, she began to tingle with excitement. He bulked up since he left, but in a most appealing way. His arms, chest and stomach were better developed, his muscles standing taunt and clear as her fingers roamed the peaks and valleys of his body. He’d always been good looking, but he’d only improved as he aged, coming into his own as a man.
He slid off the end of the bed, bent at the waist as he slowly removed her shoes and then gently tugged her shorts off before kissing her most intimate area. As he nuzzled and licked, his fingers lightly roaming her body, pausing occasionally to softly caressing the hard points of her breasts. She began to move, her breath coming in soft pants, her hands finding his head and holding him more firmly to her.
She’d never been much for oral sex, the experience pleasurable but rarely enough to cause her to climax, but Gabriel’s skills had improved dramatically since he left and she could feel herself twisting up, an orgasm pressing in on her. “Oh, God, you’re going to make me come,” she murmured, giving voice to the pleasure overwhelming her.
He smiled to himself as he caressed her with his tongue. He knew she could take or leave oral sex, but he was throwing everything he had at her tonight, giving himself to her, wanting to please her like no other.
Her orgasm swept over her, ravaging her with its power, her body alive with motion as she mewled softly into the night. She gripped his hair in her hands, the heel of her foot pressing hard into his back as she writhed in sweet agony. She had to be hurting him, had to be, but she was powerless to stop, unable to relax her grasping hands or pressing leg as he continued to batter her clit with his tongue. It was too much, the pleasure of his touch searing in its intensity, and she began to slap and push, trying to escape pleasure so intense it bordered on pain, but still he held her, moving with her as she fought to escape the pleasure of his lips and tongue.
With a soft cry, she twisted hard, her back arching, and he let her go, satisfied she’d had all she could take for the moment.
She collapsed back to the bed, gasping in relief as her orgasm washed out of her, leaving her feeling like a boneless mass without strength or form. She felt his lips on her but she was too wrung out to react until he flicked a nipple with his tongue, causing a jolt of pleasure to ripple through her and making her gasp softly. When his lips touched hers she took them greedily, finding strength to wrap him up and pull him into the kiss and hold him tight as she drank her fill from his lips.
“I haven’t come that hard in a long time,” she sighed with a smile as she released him and he slowly drew back. She watched his eyes, enjoying how he smiled at her, a sweet and gentle smile that touched her deep in her soul.
She frowned slightly that he was still wearing his pants, wanting them off so she could feel his hardness inside of her. She reached for him, a smile playing across her lips as she tugged at his belt. He took the hint, and as he stood to remove his pants, she pulled a condom from the box Tony kept in her side table. As she rolled it over his shaft, she felt a bit odd using another man’s box of condoms for him, but they were in a non-exclusive relationship, one wouldn’t be missed, and she was in a hurry to feel him inside.
As he slid out of his pants, his condom in his hand, she was already opening another, and he wondered whose turf he was invading. For reasons he couldn’t explain, her having a box of condoms by her bed stung. He’d taken other lovers, almost certainly more than she had, and he had no right to expect her to be celibate after he left, so he shoved the hurt down deep. It didn’t matter who he was. He would win her away from him by being a better man, by caring for her in a way nobody else could, and eventually she would choose him over anyone else.
She lay back and beckoned to him, smiling and drawing him down as he settled between her legs. His slow intake of breath and the pleasure on his face as he entered her warmed her deeply. He kissed her slowly, his arms snug at her sides as he held her head. They kissed unhurriedly, his cock deep inside and filling her to perfection.
He pulled back from the kiss, once again biting off the urge to tell her he loved her. He watched her eyes, swimming in their infinite depth, and he could sense feelings he’d long thought extinguished flaring to life. He’d been a colossal fool to walk away from her as he had. He’d lost sight of what was important, a mistake he wouldn’t make again, not with her. With a smile, he pushed up with his arms and began to thrust, watching as her face crinkled in pleasure.
She spurred him with her heels and he started moving, slow easy thrusts that filled her with exquisite pleasure, his eyes soft, watching her as if he was peering into the depths of her soul. She slid her arms under his and gripped his shoulders, her legs drawn back as she levered herself up slightly to press herself into him.
He continued to move slowly, steadily, lowering himself to his elbows, holding her face and alternately caressing her cheek and kissing her lips. As he watched, he could see her face scrunching up as her lips opened slightly. He smiled as memories flooded back and he recognized she was beginning to ramp up for her orgasm. Remembering what she needed, he exploded into motion, his slow gentle thrust gone as he pounded into her hard and fast.
“Come on, baby,” he murmured grunting in effort as he tried to drive her through the bed with his hips, her fingers biting into his back. “I want you to come. I want you to come hard.”
Stella moaned softly, his hard, pounding strokes and muttered words twisting her tight. She began to nod. “Make me come,” she whimpered.
He grunted again, his own need beginning to overwhelm him. He shook his head then buried his face in her neck as he tried to fight off his orgasm. “Fuck! Come on!” he growled, twisting his hands in her hair as he drove into her harder still.
His tug on her hair, his breath hot on her neck, and the strain in his voice pushed her over the edge. She tumbled into the abyss with shuddering moan as she clung to him with desperate strength. He lunged into her, pressing in hard and deep as she waited for the raging storm of pleasure to subside. With a whimpering gasp she relaxed, panting with the power of her release.
“Did you come?” she mewled softly, still holding him tight and out of sorts from her climax.
“No,” he whispered as he kissed gently.
She’d become so accustomed to struggling to reach her climax before Tony was no longer able to continue that she didn’t know how to react. She smiled as new desire began to flow into her from his slow thrusts.
The pause as she accepted her orgasm had given him a moment’s respite and allowed his own surging orgasm to recede. She kissed him hungrily, her hands coming to his face. She pushed at him while twisting her hips. He rolled off her onto his back, propping up on his elbows as she followed, sitting astride him and taking his lips for her own, savoring the kiss as she pressed into his chest. Her need for his lips satisfied she turned on hands and knees before dropping to her elbows and presenting her ass to him, giving it a little wiggle as she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled seductively.
He returned her smile as he rose to his own knees and moved between her legs, steering himself into her. As he s
lid into her depths her lips parted slightly and her eyes closed, the look of pleasure on her face cutting him to his core.
She began to move with him, pushing back to meet his thrusts, the feel and sound of him slapping into her ass ratcheting up her excitement. She’d had two hard orgasms already, harder than any she’d had in a long time, but she could feel another lurking, teasing her with its nearness. She gripped the linens tightly as her face twisted in pleasure. She hadn’t been taken from behind in so long and she thrilled in the excitement of it, pushing back into him, trying to take him as deep as possible.
He was losing the battle with his pleasure, her soft gaps and whimpers of pleasure as he drove into her peeling away the layers of his control. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back. With a gasp she rose to her hands as he jacked her head back.
Her orgasm leapt close. Tony was a caring, giving lover, always willing to please her. Tonight, she and Gabriel had started out that way, their sex slow, gentle and loving, but as he hauled her head back, their dynamic changed. He was taking control, taking what he wanted from her, his growls of desire revving up her own desire. She pulled away from him, hoping he would overpower her and not let her escape. He released her hair and quickly snaked an arm around her, his hand gripping her throat as he hauled her upright and pulled her back into his chest. She felt a rush of fear as his hand closed around her throat, but relaxed an instant later as she realized his grip wasn’t tight or painful and she could easily breathe.
BIKER’S GIFT: Chrome Kings MC Page 9
