Luke moved toward her, his steps measured, careful, as if he was approaching a wild animal and stopped just inches from her. Their bodies not quite touching, no more than a hair’s breadth separated them. He leaned in close and swallowed her scent. She smelled faintly of her expensive perfume and desire. She was in need. But what, what did she need?
He reached up cradled her cheeks with his palms and her chin sank against the heel of his hands. She titled her head to look at him and Luke held her gaze. He wanted her to see the look of disappointment on his face. He knew her well, hunger, sorrow and lust shined in her eyes.
“Sir, I accept whatever punishment you want to give me. Or if you want me to drop to my knees and suck your cock right now, just say the word. Anything, please - just don’t look at me that way. It hurts me to disappoint you.”
He leaned down and gently traced the edge of her lips with his tongue. “Jessie, I’ve come to learn that administering some form of punishment is not always the best way to teach you a lesson. Yes, there are many lessons you still must learn to become the kind of submissive I need you to be. However, there are better ways for me to teach you some of those lessons than for me to paddle your ass every time you break a rule.”
She looked at him incredulously. “Sir, I don’t understand. I clearly broke one of our agreed upon rules, I deserve to be punished. If you don’t punish me, what are you going to do?”
Luke smiled at her, the first time he’d smiled since she stormed into the house. He wrapped his arms around her and she melted against him. She laid her head on his shoulder and squirmed against the growing erection in his pants.
“Well, for starters. I want you to fix me a drink. I need one. Then we’re going to have dinner, it’s almost ready. I made a pot roast. I bet you didn’t realize you were getting a cook too with me. Then I’m going to run you a nice bubble bath and we’re going to sit in the tub together and talk. I suspect at some point before the evening is over, you will have my cock in your mouth. How does that sound to you?”
She purred. “Sir, that sounds just fine to me. Especially the part about your cock in my mouth.”
“That’s my Jessie. Now make me that drink and let’s go have dinner,” he swatted her ass for emphasis. Then he released her from his grasp and left her standing there with her mouth open.
The rest of the evening was as enjoyable as any they’d had in a long time. When Luke told her to about the Submissive’s mantra, while they “played” in the tub, Jessie was delighted. They made love with her collar on and now she still held the chain as if it were her security blanket. Perhaps last night she’d learned she didn’t need to act out to get Luke’s attention. He was more than just her Dom. He was also her friend.
Luke stole one last look at her before going downstairs to brew a pot of coffee. Jezebel needed her caffeine in the morning. A smile caressed her face and her soft voice echoed in his mind as he turned to leave. “I am comfortable in my collar. In my collar, I am free. I am His.”
****
Luke was truly amazed at the way Jessie was embracing not only the lifestyle but also the woman awakening inside. Every day she was opening up like a precious flower, eager and almost desperate to please him. His love for his beautiful Jezebel was changing as well. No longer did he only hope and pray she could learn to give herself to him completely. She simply did. Her every action and even in the way her eyes darted back and forth across his face was telling. Laughter and joy filled their house and there were days he was left completely stilled by the woman he loved deeply. While she was still opinionated and damn willful, she was learning to obey him. Slowly. Grinning, he had to smile as he thought about the last spanking he’d given her, barely two nights before.
The moment of discipline had been more about her sassy mouth and the tension she’d been feeling at work, but when she’d raised her voice, spouting a series of expletives, he’d been surprised. No, he’d been angry and had to try not to show her. His control was being tested day after day and he’d been on his own journey to corral the darker side of the man inside. All he had to do was give her a look of surprise and Jessie had brought her hairbrush to him without another word. When he’d taken her over his knee he sensed her blissful relief. She was a handful yet he loved everything about her. Whew.
Luke was almost desperate to get inside her head and while she attempted to talk to him more, they sometimes had trouble communicating on the same plane. She thought in colors and he was completely analytical. The contrast certain made for some rather interesting and very heated conversations. He’d taken to reading her journal now every other day. While she’d been rather inhibited in the beginning, realizing he was going to read every word, now she wrote with passion and total abandonment. In her passages, and perhaps without realizing what she was doing, Jezebel was telling dark secrets about herself and so many things she wanted to experiment with. Luke had learned more about her in those pages than from any of their conversations. And some of what he’d learned tickled him at times. Jezebel was a complicated and multi-layered woman.
Chuckling, he sipped his coffee as he flipped through the morning paper. Jessie’s writing style was very much like the woman he adored, wild and free. She spoke her mind, often from her inner soul and he was delighted she was so very telling. Her soul searching had brought out her complete submissive side and in turn, a woman much more adept at understanding her burning needs. Luke could clearly see her desires were changing, growing ever more enamored with trying kinky acts, clearly BDSM related. She penned thoughts about flogging and hungering for harsher methods of discipline. In her continuous search to find websites containing more information about the lifestyle, she’s stumbled on the darker cravings. Every once in awhile she broached a subject or two and then pulled back. That’s when he told her clearly she was going to write in the journal every day.
Sitting back in his chair, he thought about the passage she’d written from her desk at work merely the day before. Subconsciously, his eyes were drawn to her journal. She’d left the leather bound book on the kitchen table the night before, intending on writing more, but after three glasses of wine she’d fallen asleep in his arms. As he reached for it and opened the pages, he glanced at the clock. She’d be asleep for at least another hour. Her one luxury was sleeping in on the weekends, something he of course allowed her. The thought of her beautiful body nestled under the covers stirred his cock. Dear God lust boiled inside of him like a teakettle about ready to erupt, spewing forth a torrent of molten cream. Perhaps he would take her this morning. YES, he was going to fuck her hard this morning. Period. God, they were both insatiable in their hungers.
Adjusting the swelling bulge, Luke pressed his fingers down the length of the page and pushed back his raging hunger, concentrating on the passage in question. Jezebel insisted on writing in long hand instead of entering into the computer. She’d told him there was something freeing about being able to write down a thought or two in the middle of a grocery store or while she was at her desk in her office. Her colloquialisms sometimes cryptic, he’d learned to read between the lines in understanding what he called Jessie-speak. Her passage from the day before was particularly haunting for some reason.
I want more. I crave more. I need to give my Sir more, more of me and more of my devotion. I love him so much and I don’t know if he realizes what he’s done to me and for me. And I need to give him more sex. God, I want more too. We make love all the time yet I want more. I hunger every day. Is that wrong of me? Is that bad? I read something the other day about the correct method to hogtie a woman right here at my office while my assistant was combing through files and the thing is, I was turned on as hell. I could barely keep from stroking my pussy right there as Amanda was looking through the Thompson file. If the girl in a way too tight hair bun only knew about her boss, I think she’d run screaming to the hills or call the cops. How in the hell could I explain myself out of that one?
Hell, I’m beginning not to care what
others think about me or if they find out. Now I’m sweating and it’s not time to leave yet. Damn it. I can see Luke tying me up, blindfolding me in a way I have no idea what’s going to happen. I can see him taking me in every hole, filling and fucking me. Yeah, it’s crude but I want him to simply take me and use me when he wants more than he does now. You know what bothers me? My Sir is holding something back and I think its because I’m not good enough. I’m not the kinky girl he longs for. I don’t know. I want to ask him more about what’s wrong, but I’m afraid of what he’ll tell me.
So I kinda figured I was going to learn more and offer Sir something maybe he’s afraid to ask me. I realized something the other day and I’m curious about why. I really want to try more pain. The spankings he’s given me for discipline have been sometimes directed and they hurt like hell, but yet not nearly harsh enough. I know I’ve been pushing him lately. I didn’t realize what I was doing until the other day when I saw the look on his face. UGH. The look made me want to cry. He was so disappointed in me. That was the first time he walked away from me in anger. I expected a severe spanking and he gave me a solid one, but only after I brought him the brush. Even then, I thought the punishment should have been more harsh. He hasn’t so much as mentioned the incident again. Only later, I realized I was subconsciously acting out. Or was it? Was I really consciously trying to push him so hard to see what he was going to do?
I don’t know journal. Am I a bad girl and too willful for him? Maybe I am, but I’m trying to be the woman he wants and needs. I want so many things for us and so much that we share. I just don’t know how to tell him everything. I’m afraid he’ll think of me badly. No, I’m afraid he’ll think I’m a freak, but what if I want to try pussy whipping? What if I want to try being tied down and taken savagely? Is that weird? I worry. The truth is I feel a distance between us and I can’t understand why. It has to be me.
“Oh baby.” Luke shook his head and reread the passage again. How could she think she was doing anything wrong? There was nothing wrong with her desires to learn more, taste more. He’d tried to encourage her curiosity about everything related to BDSM, but the choice in his mind was hers when the time was right to indulge in darker fantasies. He didn’t feel she was ready. As he brought the coffee cup to his mouth he realized his hand was shaking. The plausible truth was that he wasn’t ready. While he wanted the joy of sharing every aspect of their journey together, including BDSM, he wasn’t certain he was ready to take their relationship to another level. The heightened level of responsibility wasn’t something he took lightly. One fumble and he could easily push her unprepared down a path froth with risks.
For a few seconds he thought about Suzana, the only woman from his past that he’d loved almost as much as his Jezebel. She’d been the very first woman to allow him the opportunity to truly be himself and her love was the very first time he’d felt real devotion, without a single question. Suzana would have given him absolutely anything he’d asked for, never hesitating for a minute. They’d shared so many aspects of the D/s lifestyle, quickly moving into kink. Much to his regret, he had misjudged her readiness to move into the darker aspects of the D/s lifestyle and it cost both of them dearly. Hissing through clenched teeth he clamped his eyes shut, admonishing his thoughts.
He’d promised himself he’d stop beating himself up over what happened. How could he know she’d lose her way? Unfortunately what had happened would forever change him and the single reason he hadn’t been able to love again or consider another D/s relationship, until Jessie had entered into his life. He would die protecting her, loving her and cherishing her. Nothing was going to happen to her. Nothing. He would not make the same mistake again.
He glanced up at the ceiling as he tried to calm his breathing, fisting his mouth. Of course, she had commented on his terse moods as of late. While work was taking him away from home far too often, there were ugly and very dark truths hiding behind his swinging emotions. The why he couldn’t quite grasp onto or rather he didn’t want to face the painful truth. Maybe he needed to spend some time reflecting. Even Jezebel had been trying to convince him to connect with his old friends, buddies he’d gone through college with. Luke hadn’t seen the guys in almost six years. After Suzana he’d ended a chapter in his life, shutting the door completely. Maybe his decision had been rash. Then again, he needed time to heal.
Jezebel was the love of his life and she deserved everything she longed for. Sighing, Luke closed the book and knew he needed to make certain she didn’t think there was anything wrong with her desires. She was a woman of great passion and one of the aspects about her life and her personality was how much enjoyment and passion she had for trying new things. Their intimacy was something he’d never experienced before. Never. The way she loved him and gave her body to him so freely, made his hunger swell every day to the point he had to have her often. Even now his balls were swollen, aching to the point he needed relief and soon.
Exhaling slowly he rose from the chair and turned toward the sink. There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about, including his past. She deserved nothing less. She’d given him so much of herself. As he gazed out the window he thought about how to begin another chapter in their life. Slowly. That was a given. He would make certain she really wanted to try some new things and he wanted to understand and learn if her level of commitment was strong enough, if she was strong enough.
He no longer questioned her total devotion to him. She had proven repeatedly she would do anything to please him, to make him happy and that’s what scared him. When he started this D/s journey with Jessie, he vowed not to rush matters, not to push her into aspects of the lifestyle before she had learned some important lessons. He would NOT repeat the same error in judgment with his precious Jessie that he did with Suzana. He needed to know, beyond a shadow of doubt, if Jessie was strong enough not to lose her identity or her will.
Hearing her light footsteps from behind he growled. “Good morning my Jezebel.”
“Good morning my Sir.”
As he turned around he moaned. The very vision of her was breathtaking.
****
Jezebel walked into the kitchen and could tell Luke was thinking about something that bothered him. He’d been very tense the past few days and his mood swings had added to her anxiousness, her second-guessing of herself and how well she was progressing. She smiled when he turned, refusing to allow him to see her angst. Unfortunately, he was leaving for another long trip in a little over two weeks and she’d taken a few days off from work so they could be together. She certainly wasn’t going to spend their time grousing or worrying. Besides, she knew what would give him pleasure. Brushing her hand through her hair she shifted forward and licked her lips. “I woke up and you weren’t there beside me. I was lonely.” She fondled the lock on her collar, having selected one with a lock on purpose. She enjoyed reminding him that he owned every part of her.
“You were resting peacefully and I had a few things to work on,” Luke said quietly, his eyes darting down the length of her body. He glanced at her collar and smiled. “Nice choice.”
“Thank you, Sir. I was going to give you some very special attention in bed this morning. I was going to give you everything you crave.” Easing her hand inside the bodice of her silk robe, she gave him a mischievous look and swayed her hips back and forth as she tugged on the single sash. As the robe fell open, she absently flicked her finger back and forth across her nipple, moaning as the bud instantly became rock hard. She was wet and horny, having awakened from a scintillating dream about him taking her hard from behind. There was something so incredible about the way he looked at her and right now she was tingling all over.
“Special? I like the sound of that and baby, there’s not enough time in life to give me everything I crave from you.” Beckoning to her with a single finger, he narrowed his eyes. “Come to me. Show me.”
Jezebel eased forward, taking her time. When she was right in front of him she shifted
, allowing the slip of material to fall to the floor. “What would you like this morning?” Taking both hands, she brushed the flats down from her neck to her breasts, pinching and squeezing her nipples as she blew him a kiss.
“Everything and don’t tease me.” His voice filling with a husky tone, Luke cupped her face, bringing her close. “I want every part of you.” Capturing her mouth he wrapped his other hand around her neck, pulling her all the way into the heat of his body.
When he pressed his tongue inside she melted into him, her heart racing. The mere touch of his hand was enough to cause her to shiver from head to toe. Their tongues entwining, she inhaled his musky scent and slipped her hand around his waist. Her nipples were swollen, aching with need. The second she felt his throbbing cock thumping into her belly she almost dropped to her knees.
When he broke the kiss he brushed his thumb back and forth across her lips. “My kitty is hungry this morning. Would you like some cream? The question is, do you deserve my cream?”
“God yes. Yes, Sir! I’ve been very good.” Her eyes opening wide, she could tell he was amused but thirsty for her.
Placing his finger into her mouth, he thrust it in and out, forcing her to suck. “Do you want to have my cock in your mouth?”
Shuddering, Jezebel tilted her head back and nodded slowly as she savored the taste of his skin. She sucked fervently, issuing soft moans around his finger. She held his hand in both of hers and watched his every move. When he removed his finger she sighed and nibbled on her bottom lip.
On Becoming His Page 10
