He gave a nod and took the money and ambled off.
“And this is yours.” She held out the remaining hundred to me. I slid it back into my wallet, still trying to wrap my head around this girl. Hollywood princess . . . and pool shark?
“Can we get out of here now?” I asked her.
“Why? You not having fun?” she smirked.
“You are? Even after all that?” I cocked my brow at her.
“Especially after all that. You want me to teach you how to shoot pool like a real man?”
At that, I scowled and walked off to join Mack at the bar. “I see what you mean now.”
He chuckled and poured himself a shot. “You gonna think I’m crazy if I say I missed it?”
“Yes,” I replied instantly, earning another deep chuckle.
“Well, I suppose you wouldn’t be the first, but I did. That girl is trouble, no doubt, but the good kind, son. Girl just isn’t afraid to live. My Katie needed that when they were younger. She was so shy and a bit timid until Ava got ahold of her. Ava was fearless, and she made Katie brave. In turn, Katie was the reason that Ava sometimes needed. Everyone in town knew that girl was gonna do something big.”
I turned on my stool, seeking her out with my eyes. She’d rejoined JD and his group. It looked like she was teaching Jessica to shoot while the rest of them watched.
“We might be small town folks around here, but we still get all the same news and tabloids the rest of the world does.” Mack pulled my attention back to him. “The people who love that girl, we got any reason to be concerned?”
“You mean the drugs and the car accident?”
He jerked his head in a nod. “I talked to her daddy and he said it’s all bullshit, but I also know that’s his baby girl and he wouldn’t believe it even if you showed the man the proof. I wouldn’t want to believe it myself, but I also know the kind of life she’s got there in California can change a person. So, I’ll ask again, she hiding out here because it’s true, or because it’s not?”
“It’s not.” I knew what I told him was true. Any doubts I’d had were gone. I still had questions, but I should have trusted her all along, trusted what my gut was telling me, instead of ignoring it because I was having my own crisis after what happened between us that night. “She’s dealing with a lot right now, but I’d wager she really hasn’t changed as much as one might think.”
I think coming home was just what she needed to remind herself of that.
Sixteen
Riley
Not Mack too.
He and James were looking awfully chummy at the bar.
Rather than watch James win over another person in my life, I turned my attention back to Jessica, who had just sunk her first ball in a pocket.
“Nice. You’ll be hustling in no time,” I told her. She beamed, blushing as she peered over at Justin. It had taken me all of two seconds and one glare from her to figure out she had her sights set on the tall, shaggy haired, former baseball player as evidenced by the worn out high school sweatshirt he sported. My work here was pretty much done, and JD’s flirtations, though harmless, were getting a bit obnoxious.
I sauntered over to the bar and sidled up next to James, who was deep in conversation with Mack about the Seattle Mariner’s chances this season. They hardly even acknowledged me. I rolled my eyes and signaled Mack for another drink. Without pausing their conversation, he grabbed me a bottle, popped the top, and slid it in front of me. Mack, like my dad, was a Seattle fan. Most of the rest of the town rooted for Denver. It could get ugly, especially during football season. Mack’s was the place to be on Super Bowl Sunday, not just because of the enormous flat screen mounted on the wall, but because you could always count on it to be exciting. You were promised at least one brawl, because there were also a few Patriots fans in town. The only thing the three groups could agree on was that they hated the Packers, and the liberals.
Yeah, Thompson Falls wasn’t the most progressive place. But the people were good, if not a little rough and backwards sometimes. Walking in tonight and seeing Mack’s face was just what I’d needed after another argument with Luis. The beer helped too. I didn’t want to think about how pissed either of us were at the other, or how hurt I was still feeling over Jayne, even though she’d sent a dozen apology texts in the last two days. I didn’t want to be mad at her, but I’d never thought there’d be a time when she wasn’t on my side. Now, I didn’t know if she was or not. And if I couldn’t even tell who was on my side anymore . . .
With every decision I’d made, or was made for me, it seemed that my life had begun to spiral out of my control until I felt like a spectator like everyone else, just waiting to see what was going to happen next.
I’d desperately needed the Montana dirt beneath my feet and the big sky above me to feel grounded and not so lost anymore. Maybe it was the fresh air up here, maybe it was being in the one place that would always be home, but I was finally seeing things clearly. Something had to give, or I needed to make changes.
“You solve the global hunger issue yet?” I hadn’t even noticed Mack and James’ conversation cut off, or that Mack had wandered off to another part of the bar at some point, leaving me and James at this end.
“Huh?” I turned to him. His gaze on me was intent, as if he was trying to puzzle out my thoughts.
“Just asked if you solved global hunger. You look like you’re trying to work out all the world’s problems.
“I’d settle for solving my own.”
“You will,” he said softly but confidently. I wished I was as convinced. I looked away, shutting him out, but I rose from my stool.
“We should probably go. It’s getting late.”
Mack made me promise not to wait another year to visit again, and then we made the drive back to the ranch. It was quiet, but for the radio that softly played country music. One of the only stations you could pick up around here. I couldn’t make out the too low lyrics, but the melody was slow and melancholy and lulled me into a near sleep as I rested my head against the cold glass. It felt good on my warm skin.
I came to when James shut off the engine in the drive. Neither of us made a move to get out of the truck right away. I was sleepy and still a little buzzed, but reluctant to go inside to bed. I didn’t want to help tomorrow come any faster. I had decisions to make. About my career, my future, the relationships in my life, and I didn’t want to make any of them.
“You planning on going inside?”
“Haven’t decided yet,” I admitted quietly.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly,” I sighed.
“Talk anyway. Might help to get it off your chest. You can even be mean to me if you want.”
He wouldn’t understand. Someone like him couldn’t know what it was like. He was brave, and unafraid. Like I used to think I was. Truth was, it’d only ever been an act.
One that people had been believing since the day I took that leap off the falls my freshman year of high school. On a dare. From my arch nemesis, Brett Simmons. I think he orchestrated the group hike up there that day just to call me out and embarrass me in front of everyone. Not that any of them would have jumped. David Lewis, the last kid to jump a few years back was still a legend even after he’d graduated. I was no David Lewis. The smirk on Brett’s face said he knew it, and the knowing look in his eyes called me a coward.
My heart was racing, and I was so pissed at Brett. My recently established reputation as a badass, for cannon balling off Stacey Johnson’s roof into her pool, was tenuous at best. A roof was nothing compared to the falls. There were a few upper classmen along for this hike, and I did not want to go down in history as a chicken. So I threw myself off the side without thinking, because if I had taken even one more second to look before I jumped, I wouldn’t have been able to do it.
I didn’t scream on the way down, which only further upped my cool points, but the truth was, I hadn’t been able to. On the inside I was screaming t
he scream of someone falling to their death, but my voice was stuck in my throat. I even peed myself the second my body touched water, but thankfully nobody knew that either. I hid behind a false sense of bravery because my biggest fear was everyone seeing how scared I was.
I shook that entire hike back up from the water to everyone else. I thought for sure they must have seen it, but they cheered and spread my awesomeness through the school, and then it was my name that was said with the word fearless.
My mother screeched at me and tried to ground me for life after that incident. My father chided me for being reckless, but secretly I thought I saw a bit of pride in his eyes. My dad had made that same jump once, I later found out. I liked the idea of being brave, and so I jumped from one reckless and daring act to the next, never stopping to think so I wouldn’t back down, until my whole life was uprooted, and I went from the small town where I thought I was something special to the big city where I just wanted to be something. This whole time I’d just been a scared little girl on the inside, trying to fool everyone into thinking I was brave.
James wouldn’t understand that. I shook my head and yanked on the door handle, hopping from the truck. He was right on my heels and I didn’t make it to the porch steps before he caught my arm and turned me around.
“Alright, maybe you don’t want to talk, but I do.”
“What do you want to talk about?” I let the exhaustion show in my voice. I was tired, and not just physically.
He let go of my arm. “What do you think? We haven’t talked since we slept together.”
A sharp pain pierced my chest before I could I harden myself against it. I ignored the ache that remained and looked him in the eye. “We’ve talked plenty.”
“No, we haven’t. Not about that night.”
“I think you said everything you needed to the next morning.”
Regret flashed momentarily across his features, and I’d like to believe it was because he was sorry for the way he’d acted that morning, but more likely it was for the mess he’d made that he was now trying to clean up.
“Look,” I huffed, “if you’re worried about me telling your boss and this affecting your career or whatever, I won’t say anything. I got what I wanted, didn’t I? I practically threw myself at you for months. Kudos to you for not fucking me sooner.” I made to turn and go inside, but he caught me again, forcing me around to face him, and he was much closer this time. There was anger and frustration on his face, and something softer in his eyes.
“Don’t. Don’t pretend with me. Don’t lie to me. This isn’t what you wanted and it’s not what I wanted either. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I could feel my carefully erected walls crumbling and a tightness closing up my throat. I rebelled against the emotion clawing its way up by snapping at him with a harsh laugh. “You only get hurt if you care.”
This time I could have sworn it was pain that showed in his eyes, but again, probably wishful thinking. I was wounded and I wanted to lash out and hurt him too. He reached a hand toward my face. I recoiled from his touch, but it didn’t stop him. He brushed my hair aside and then cupped my chin in his grasp. “You’re a good actress, sweetheart, but you can’t pretend not to care. If anything, you care too much.”
I hated that he called me out. I hated that it was true.
“No I don’t,” I whispered. “I don’t care. I just want you to go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Why not?” I asked in exasperation. “You didn’t want this job to begin with. You’ve wanted to get away from me since we first met. So, go. Forget about me and I’ll forget about you.”
“Not likely,” he muttered.
I forced out a harsh laugh. “Oh, you think you’re so amazing? Think you really rocked my world so good you’ve ruined me?” I folded my arms across my chest. “Well, I’ve got news for you—” He silenced me with a finger pressed to my lips.
“Not what I meant.” I frowned, and a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “It’s you who rocked my world. Turned it upside down. I don’t even know which way is up anymore. I only know you drive me crazy like no one else ever has. And maybe. . . well, I think I like it.”
I snorted. “What the hell is wrong with you? I throw myself at you for weeks and all you do is turn me down, and now that I’m telling you to leave me alone, you decide you like me. What happened to thinking I’m a drug addict?”
He raked a hand through his hair, “I never thought that, Riley.”
I snorted. “Really, because that’s not what you said two days ago.”
He dropped his arm to his side. “I know what I said, but I knew even in New York that drugs just weren’t you. If I’d truly believed otherwise, I would have confronted you then. What happened after we had sex was because I didn’t know how to deal with it. I—I . . .” We both stayed rooted in our spots as he struggled to say what he wanted to say. “I thought I had you figured out. I thought I knew who you were, but now . . .” his shoulders sagged with a sigh. “Now I’m quite certain I don’t have you figured out all. You’re not what I thought. Not at all. So, I was wrong, okay? You showed me more, and then we came here and you’re so different here. So down to earth and more real than anyone.”
I shook my head, disappointment ringing through my hollow insides. “You think I wasn’t real before? You think Ava is different from Riley?”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean? Because it sounds like you like part of me, but hate the other parts. The Riley parts. You want me to just be Ava all the time, but I can’t! They’re both me. I love what I do. I love making movies, and playing dress up, and shopping, and being a princess sometimes. I like the city, and the glamour, and the awards shows, and premieres. I like being famous. But this,” I gestured around the property, “this is also me. This is home and my roots and that doesn’t change no matter where I am or what I’m wearing.”
“You’ve got it all wrong. Ava. Riley. It doesn’t matter, because they’re both you. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, it makes no difference whether you’re covered in silk and diamonds, or hay and muck, because underneath the girl is the same, even if she looks a little different. And I’m falling for you. I have been for a while.”
His confession hung in the air between us. I had to look away as I swallowed through the tightness in my throat. “How am I supposed to believe you?”
“Because I’m telling you.”
I swung my gaze back to him, hardening it. “I asked you to believe me, if you remember, and you didn’t.” And it hurt worse than anything.
“I’m sorry,” he said miserably.
“What am I supposed to do with that? Just forget that you called me a liar and a drug addict? I needed you to be on my side, and you weren’t.”
“I didn’t think it could work, Riley. I was just looking for a reason. Like you are now.”
“Here’s a reason. You clearly don’t trust me, and I don’t trust you anymore.” I turned and stormed inside, straight up to my room, kicking the door closed behind me. My entire body sagged, and I lowered myself shakily onto the bed, burying my head in my hands. How dare he do this. It wasn’t fair, and I didn’t believe him. No matter how sincere he sounded or how torn up he looked.
My phone buzzed, and a quick glance at the screen showed that not for the first time today Hunter Foxx was calling. I slid my thumb to reject the call like I’d done every other time. A text came through a few minutes later. I ignored that too, hoping he’d take the hint.
A few minutes later I heard James’ footsteps on the stairs and then the door to his room.
I fell backward on the bed and stared at the ceiling searching for answers that weren’t there. I just wanted someone to tell me what the right thing to do was. With James, with Luis and Jayne and Angela. With my career. How pathetic that I wished for the very thing I was rebelling against. Being told what to do. But what if I was messing everything up?
<
br /> My phone buzzed again. Out of frustration with Hunter’s persistence, I reached for it and angrily swiped to accept the call, growling into the receiver, “Stop calling me, Hunter. If I wanted to talk to you, I would have answered one of your other dozen calls.”
Silence fell over the line, and I cringed, thinking he probably didn’t deserve that.
“This isn’t Hunter,” a low voice finally said.
I sat up with a jerk and pulled the phone away from my face to look at the screen. Sure enough, it wasn’t Hunter’s name displayed, but an unknown number.
I put the phone back to my face and with a sinking feeling, asked, “Who is this?”
“Don’t you know?”
“Warren,” I whispered and heard his pleased sigh in response.
“I miss you. It’s good to hear your voice. I’ve been so worried since the accident?”
“It was you, wasn’t it?” I croaked.
“I’m so sorry Riley, I didn’t mean to, but you left me. You were gone and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. When you came back I just wanted to see you. I just wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn’t pull over.”
“You have to stop this, Warren.”
“Why would you say that?” he shouted. “You know I can’t. I love you.”
He was so far gone in his delusion, I knew I couldn’t reason with him. The only thing to do was hang up and get a new number in the morning. Again.
I had my finger on the end call button about to press it, but I froze before I did.
“I’m sorry,” I told him, jumping up from the bed and quietly rushing across the hall. I didn’t stop to knock, not worried about seeing anything I hadn’t already. The light was off, but James was still awake, lying in bed looking at his phone screen. On top of the covers in his boxer briefs. There was enough light, and I wasn’t so distracted by Warren murmuring apologies in my ear that I didn’t notice that.
He sat up and started to curse, but I held a hand up, silencing him as Warren went on. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You just make me so crazy. I don’t know what else you want from me, Riley. Haven’t I proven my love yet?”
A Taste of Pink (Shades Book 4) Page 19
