by Maggie Cox
‘Caitlin?’
She spun round at the sound of her name, folding her arms across the blue chambray man’s shirt that she’d thrown over the too-revealing red T-shirt she’d been wearing earlier. The long shirt-tails skimmed her bottom in her tight jeans and helped her feel a little less vulnerable than she had done in the shop, when Jake’s toe-curling glance had all but consumed her with its frank and hungry intensity.
She was staring into the same hauntingly blue depths now as he looked up at her from the foot of the stage. Her mouth dried. He handed her a sheet of paper with music and lyrics on. Accepting it without comment, she let her gaze fall eagerly on the title. It was another great rock standard that she knew by heart.
The lyrics were passionate and heart-rending, and she’d sung it with genuine feeling when she’d first learned it because she’d empathised with the sentiment of the song only too well. It was about a girl whose dreams had been cruelly shattered when the man she loved had used her and ill-treated her and had consequently robbed her of every bit of self-confidence she had…
But now… Her glance quickly perused the musical arrangement and her heart skipped a nervous beat, because the time had come for her to really prove to both the band and their enigmatic manager that she could deliver what they hoped she could. It was one thing to conquer her fear of an audition—quite another to front a band for the first time ever and do it well. This was where things started to get serious.
‘You know the tune? We can choose something more contemporary if you prefer?’
Jake’s blue eyes honed in on the roomy chambray shirt Caitlin had donned over the sexy red T-shirt and once again he sensed that she wasn’t at all at ease with her body. Why else had she covered up? And how would she cope when she had to perform on stage in front of a crowd he wondered?Would she be self-conscious then?
She was a naturally beautiful woman, and the sensual aura she exuded when she walked into a room was a killer. It was a given that her looks would be a big asset to the band, and he didn’t want her to try and hide that sensational body behind oversized clothing. Still, there was plenty of time for that particular discussion. Right now Caitlin had to prove to them that she was a worthy replacement for Marcie.
‘The song is fine’ she told him. ‘I know it well.’
‘Good. Take it away, guys.’
As the band started to play the introduction Caitlin listened carefully, curving her hands round the microphone stand in readiness and staring towards the back of the hall rather than at Jake. Her body was tense as a sprinter’s at the start of the most important race of her life, but she didn’t need to glance at the lyrics as she waited for her cue to come in. The words were etched on her soul.
There was no need for her to imagine that she was the woman she was singing about because she was. She’d been used, hurt and scorned by a man she’d once loved and trusted, and the devastating experience had taught her to keep her guard up. Adversity had taught her a huge lesson and, hard as it was, it had helped her to grow stronger.
I’ll put steel round my heart that your poison arrows can’t dent
And I’ll be the phoenix rising that you never saw coming…
Those were the lyrics.
Suddenly her eyes flew open and Caitlin’s glance fell on Jake. He was attired from head to toe in black, and his concentrated expression was utterly serious as he watched her performance. Minutes later, when she came to the end of the song, she was glad, because she desperately needed to suck in a steadying breath. Her heart was thumping hard at the painful memories the words had evoked. Yet, meeting Jake’s gaze once again, she didn’t immediately withdraw when it hit her that he had seriously begun to fascinate her.
It was probably just hormones, she thought irritably. She certainly wasn’t looking to take things further than a working relationship. Apart from it being against the rules, she wasn’t looking for a man. Just like in the song, Caitlin had had the relationship from hell with one particular man and it had nearly destroyed her. She certainly wasn’t going to entertain the idea of being with someone who could twist her insides into knots merely by looking at her.
‘Not bad,’ he said grudgingly.
Her fervent hope had been that she’d done much better than just ‘not bad’, and Caitlin’s heart plummeted. Still, Jake was the boss, and she wasn’t there simply in search of praise. Her ambition was to earn her living as a bona fide singer—never to be dependent on anyone either for love, self-esteem or security.
That was why seeing the ad for the auditions had excited her. It really had seemed like a sign that she should step up to the plate and start to fulfil her destiny. Staying at the shop and ‘playing safe’ just didn’t feel like the right option any more. Her family had moved on and so should she. It wasn’t the possibility of fame that interested her…far from it. Her passion was the music itself—the potential to experience joy in doing what she loved to do and to share it with anyone who cared to listen.
So she would bow to the man’s far greater experience in such matters and give her all to improve. She prayed her efforts would be enough.
‘Wow! Honey, you’ll never be poor with a voice like that,’ Rick told her as he went to stand next to his friend.
The contrast between the two men was striking. Rick’s longish tousled hair was tinted a sun-kissed blond, while Jake’s was a dark chestnut-brown, and their physiques were markedly different too. Jake was broad-shouldered and lean, his body supremely fit and toned, while Rick was shorter and more muscular. But, whatever the contrast in appearance, Caitlin sensed the two men were firm friends. There was a definite camaraderie between them that suggested their association had been born out of knowing each other for a very long time.
‘She was fantastic,’ Rick commented, turning towards Jake. ‘I felt every ounce of emotion she put into the song…she made it her own.’
‘That may be true,’ Jake responded, his cool glance deliberately sliding away from Caitlin’s. ‘But it won’t belong to her until she knows it intimately, inside and out. Let’s do it again, guys. Then you can do some of your own material.’
* * *
It was three hours later when Caitlin was finally able to take a breather. Perched on the edge of the stage, with her long slender legs dangling over the side, she was attempting to eat her portion of the Chinese take-away that Rick had ordered. Her throat ached, her head throbbed and she could have fallen asleep standing up.
The band’s charismatic manager hadn’t let up for one minute in his efforts to get the best out of her vocal performance and she felt as if she’d done twelve rounds with a prize fighter. Whilst she was perfectly aware that singing was a very physical occupation, even if a person was blessed with a good voice, nothing could have prepared Caitlin for the sheer effort that Jake demanded.
During the past three hours she’d survived admonition after admonition to, ‘Try again!’ ‘Put your heart into it, woman!’ ‘Hold back a little on that note…drop down a key…’ ‘Damn it, Caitlin! You’re just not trying hard enough!’ Now she could barely summon up the energy to eat, despite the fact that the shrimp chop suey and bamboo shoots with Chinese mushrooms looked and smelled delicious.
‘Not hungry?’
Her tired glance fell on Jake’s long jeans-clad legs as he dropped down beside her. Her heart skipped a beat. Lifting her gaze, she looked up into the hauntingly misty depths of his soulful blue eyes. It struck her as unfair that a man should possess such enviably long black lashes, but then she mused that Jake must have been at the head of the line when God was dishing out extraordinary good looks…not to mention sheer animal magnetism.
Caitlin sucked in a less than steady breath when the scent of his cologne forged another assault on her beleaguered senses. In answer to his question, she responded, ‘I thought I was.’ Shrugging, she put her carton of food aside and touched a paper napkin delicately to her lips. ‘I only had a sandwich at lunchtime…it wasn’t very nice either.’
‘You must have known this wasn’t going to be easy. Still sure you want to go through with it?’ Jake challenged. ‘You need more than just talent in this game, Caitlin. You need equal measures of grit and stamina too.’
‘I can summon up plenty of grit and stamina when I need it. Just try me.’
A flash of defiance lit up her defensive green eyes and Jake chuckled softly. She’d freed her lustrous long hair from its ponytail and now it flowed down her back like shining black silk. Examining it more closely, he detected flashes of mahogany within the darker strands. His fingers were itching to touch it and he closed his hands into fists to stop himself from reaching out to do just that.
‘It’s obviously going to take me a little while to learn all the new songs,’ she breathed, ‘but I’ll take a copy of the music and lyrics home with me and practise them on my guitar.’
Jake had almost forgotten that Caitlin was a guitarist as well. How good he didn’t yet know, but judging by her vocal talent he guessed it wouldn’t be far behind.
‘Good move,’ he commented, ‘but the first thing you’re going to have to do is to hand in your notice at the shop. There’s no way you can have a full-time job there outside of singing with the band. In just three weeks’ time we’ll be on the road and you’ll have to kiss this sleepy little village goodbye.’
The words sounded so final that Caitlin couldn’t help shivering. But she immediately reminded herself that the most amazing opportunity had come her way, and she should take it with open arms and think herself blessed. No one got anywhere in life without taking risks. God knew she should have absorbed that fact by now, with all the New Age reading she’d done since working for Lia.
She’d lived in the village for most of her life, having moved from London with her family when she was just a toddler. When her parents had decided to join her brother Phil and his wife in California three years ago Caitlin had opted to stay put. She wasn’t ready to leave the country, she’d argued. There was still a lot to experience living in the UK.
But most of all she’d stayed because she’d needed time to forge her own identity—the chance to bring her own dreams into fruition, not just tag along on someone else’s. She’d even needed to make colossal mistakes, like her relationship with Sean. None of those things would have been possible surrounded by her well-meaning but highly controlling family.
She swallowed hard.
‘So…does that mean you’re offering me a full-time position with the band?’ she asked.
Her stomach churned as she waited for Jake’s reply.
‘Looks that way doesn’t it?’ He smiled. Then, agile as a cat, he leapt to his feet and crossed the stage to join Rick and the others.
CHAPTER THREE
‘WE’RE ALL GOING BACK to the Pilgrim’s Inn for a few drinks—want to join us?’
Mike Casey stood waiting as Caitlin shrugged into her raincoat. Everyone else was outside. Steve and Keith were loading the van with the equipment and Jake and Rick were deep in discussion. Rick had extended the same invitation to her earlier, and Caitlin had told him she’d think about it. But the very idea of going into that particular pub again, after what had happened between her and Sean on her last visit, made her feel faintly ill.
Sean had been so bad that night—out of his head on a cocktail of drink and drugs—and she’d feared the worst. She had been right to. The cruel words and jibes that he’d taunted her with had just got worse and worse as the evening progressed. The sharpest knife couldn’t have cut her more deeply. Add to that the humiliation of his verbal attack being witnessed by a pub full of people before the landlord threw him out—well, it had been enough to make her want to give the place a wide berth for ever.
Lifting her gaze to Mike’s, she said, ‘It’s kind of you to ask me, but I think I’ll have to say no. It’s already quite late.’
Stealing a quick glance at her watch, she saw that it was ten-thirty-five, and they’d been rehearsing since three o’clock that afternoon. Her throat was parched and her body ached from the sheer effort that Jake had demanded. The man apparently had endless reserves of energy that made Caitlin feel as if she was the slowest runner on the track in comparison. No. She’d much prefer to go home, shower, get into her pyjamas and put her feet up with a glass of wine and a bowl of crisps at her elbow.
‘You call ten-thirty in the evening late? We’re talking Saturday night, here. Don’t tell me the whole village goes to bed early?’ Mike’s dark eyebrows flew up to the tips of his tousled fringe. ‘You must have led a sheltered life, if that’s normal for you.’
At his disbelieving grin, Caitlin conceded a shy smile. ‘You must think I’m pretty boring, right? No way could I ever claim to be a typical rock chick, that’s for sure. But I realise my early nights will have to come to an end when the band goes on the road.’
‘You two ready?’ Rick appeared at the door, his hazel eyes appraising Caitlin and Mike with interest. ‘I have to lock up. Caitlin? Jake would like a word.’
What now? Caitlin groaned inwardly at the prospect.
Jake hadn’t lied when he’d said he would go easy with her on the first night but that after that she’d have to roll with punches like everyone else. He’d been harder on her than on any of the guys in the band. Maybe that was because they already knew what was required and she didn’t? But somehow Caitlin didn’t think that was the only reason Jake had been yelling at her all night.
Maybe he didn’t like her. Maybe he was already regretting taking her on due to her lack of experience. She could speculate until night turned into day but she’d be none the wiser until they had a conversation.
Wearing his familiar black leather jacket over a sweatshirt and jeans, Jake was leaning against his Jeep. He straightened as Caitlin walked towards him, and even at the distance that separated them she sensed an undeniable magnetic charge that put her on her guard. It had started to rain, and the sound of the other band members’ voices floated on the air as they huddled round the big white transit van they transported their equipment in.
As Jake continued to hold her gaze Caitlin sensed something register low in her belly—a combination of fear, apprehension and irrefutable sexual attraction. She didn’t know whether to smile or run.
A fierce gust of wind just then almost tore her open raincoat from her shoulders, revealing her curvaceous figure in perhaps more detail than she wanted him to see. She felt alternately hot and cold all over as her boots crunched across the gravel.
‘Rick said you wanted to speak to me?’ She was slightly breathless as she presented herself, her long black hair lashing across her face in the wind and rain.
Straight away Jake noticed Caitlin shiver in her insubstantial raincoat. He knew a way to warm her up. Another place, another time, he might have given into such an urge. God knew Caitlin Ryan had been testing all his powers of self-control from the very first moment he’d set eyes on her.
‘So, are you going to join us for a drink or what?’ he asked tersely.
‘That’s what you wanted to talk to me about?’
Catching the ends of her raincoat belt, she twisted it tightly round her waist. In vain she tried to shove her long hair out of her eyes and noticed her hands were trembling. What was it about this man that could unravel her so easily?
‘I already told Mike that I wasn’t coming. I’m going home to get an early night.’ she said. ‘Don’t worry I’ll make sure I’m here at three o’clock on the dot for rehearsals tomorrow.’
‘I want you to come for a drink.’
The pupils of Jake’s eyes had turned unsettlingly dark…so dark that there was just the palest blue circle ringed round them.
‘It’s a good opportunity for us to get to know each other. Tomorrow’s Sunday. You can have a lie-in.’
Caitlin could hardly argue with his reasoning, even if her heart was fluttering madly at the very idea of spending the rest of the evening in the company of the charismatic band manager. But there was also the not exac
tly small matter of her showing up at the Pilgrim’s Inn. There was always a small influx of visitors from outside the village, but generally customers were mostly a local crowd, and there were bound to be people there who remembered how Sean had humiliated her.
‘I—I’d rather not come, if you don’t mind.’
‘The invitation was an order, not a choice. You’re going to have to get used to late nights if you’re going to sing with this band. Get in the car. You can ride with me and Rick’
So that was how Caitlin found herself squeezed into a worn red velvet corner seat in the pub, with Rick on one side and Jake on the other, as the band members stood round the cosy fire in the iron grate, hogging the heat and nursing their pints of beer.
From the jukebox Sting’s voice boomed out: something about not standing so close… Caitlin could easily have echoed the sentiment. Rick had hung her raincoat over the back of a chair but she wasn’t bereft of warmth—not when Jake’s hard-muscled thigh was pressed against hers. A full-on radiator couldn’t have made her hotter. Every time he shifted even slightly the renewed contact made Caitlin’s heart miss a beat.
‘So tell me, Cait. What music do you like to listen to?’
Rick had been shortening her name ever since they’d arrived at the pub and she tried not to flinch, because her ex, Sean, had always called her that. Her gaze anxiously swept the room. There were several groups of young people seated around the tables, clearly enjoying themselves. Thankfully nobody had paid her any particular attention. Behind the bar two barmaids were busily serving customers, and one of them, a voluptuous blonde named Tina Stevens, was wearing a neckline so low that if she wasn’t careful she’d be arrested for indecency.
