Hardly a curse. Even with the baby in his arms, he looked good enough to make her knees go weak and her belly flutter.
“Hey, why don’t you get Small Fr y down for a nap while I get you a plate of Daphne’s leftovers?”
Aiden looked up, his gaze growing hot, his lids heavy. “I love leftovers.”
Haylee immediately thought of the picnic they’d taken out to the lookout point last week. By the time they were finished making love, the ants had gotten into the food, so they’d made love again and then Haylee had snuck into the big kitchen and brought back plates of meatloaf and scalloped potatoes. They’d sat cross-legged on her bed to eat and afterward, they’d shared a pint of Häagen-Dazs Pralines and Cream.
“Haylee?” called Tyler, when he saw her outside. “One of the boarders got out. The Basset hound. I can’t get him back.”
“Damn,” she muttered. The Basset was sixty pounds of stubborn. “You okay here?”
“Mustang Sally and I are just dandy.”
By the time she’d lured the hound back into the yard and locked him safely in his enclosure, it was nearly full dark. When she opened the door to her cabin, she found Aiden sitting on the couch with Sal in the crook of his arm, reading a book, a scene of such shocking domestic bliss that Haylee didn’t know how to react. The stark masculinity of the muscles of Aiden’s forearms stood out against the pink, flannel-wrapped bundle, making him appear both irresistible and terrifying at the same time.
“She’s still here?”
Aiden glanced down. “So it seems.”
“I’ll go get Sage.” She turned to leave but Aiden stopped her.
“She’s an itty-bitty baby, Haylee. Why are you so afraid of her?”
“I’m not!”
“You hardly touch her. You don’t call her by name. Everyone else is cooing over her while you treat her like she’s radioactive.”
Haylee took a step backward. “With everyone else cooing, someone needs to keep this place going. It’s no big deal, Aiden. I’m just not wired to be a nurturer, I guess.”
He chuckled softly. “Says the woman who brought a baby goat home from the fair and bottle-fed it. Yes, I’ve heard the story. I’ve met the goat, too. Imelda, I believe you named her?”
Haylee lifted her chin. “Imelda’s a working goat. She keeps the weeds down in the garden. We can’t keep Sal here for the night, Aiden.”
“Why not? Sage needs the sleep. Daphne brought some supplies and a couple of bottles while you were out catching the dog.”
She couldn’t very well refuse.
Their lovemaking that night was quiet but intense, Aiden gazing deeply into her eyes in the moonlight while Haylee pretended she wasn’t aware of the infant sleeping just around the corner.
When Sal awoke in the wee hours, Haylee didn’t realize it until she heard Aiden moving about in the kitchen, warming the bottle. She watched from the doorway as he rocked her, murmuring to her, stroking her downy hair.
“Sorry she woke you.” She bit back a yawn. “We should bring her back to Sage.”
“She’s fine, Haylee. Go back to bed. I’ve got this.”
His hair was tousled deliciously but there was a tightness at the corners of his eyes that bothered her.
“Are you okay?”
He rubbed the fussing child’s back with one hand while with the other, he held the bottle under a stream of hot water.
“Yeah. She woke up at the perfect time.”
“Another bad dream?” she guessed.
He nodded.
“You look so natural with her.”
Haylee always felt like the baby was going to flip-flop out of her arms. She was an unwieldy bundle, but didn’t look like it with Aiden. She swallowed. He was way too comfortable with all of this. What would he do when Sage and Sal eventually went to . . . wherever they were going to go?
“You know Sage and the baby aren’t staying, right? You shouldn’t get attached.”
He frowned. “That’s a strange thing to say about your own granddaughter.”
Haylee gave a short, sharp laugh. “Biology isn’t destiny. Sage belongs with her real family. Once she gets her feet under her and her head sorted out, I’m sure she’ll make up with them and head back. As for the baby . . .” She forced herself to continue. “Sage thinks she can do this. But she’s so young . . . She might change her mind.”
He tested the temperature of the milk before putting the rubber nipple to Sal’s mouth. The baby opened her mouth and shook her head from side to side before grabbing on. “There you go,” Aiden murmured. He looked up at Haylee. “You’re afraid of losing them.”
She blinked. “They’re not mine to lose, Aiden. This was never going to be a happy ever after.”
He watched the baby quietly. “And what will that mean for you, when they leave?”
Haylee shrugged. “Life will go back to normal.”
Aiden didn’t answer, just looked at her for a long time, then put the sleeping baby down and crawled back into bed next to Haylee. But he kept his back to her, and in his stillness, she felt judgment.
Chapter Eighteen
“Whatever you need, you’ll get it at Sanctuary Ranch.”
—Allen Wilson
Aiden slipped out of bed early the next morning as usual, kissing Haylee’s bare shoulder before he left. The baby was still quiet and he wanted to let them both sleep as long as possible.
The scenario was achingly familiar. He reminded himself that the baby wasn’t Haylee’s, Haylee wasn’t his, and that whatever he thought he was feeling was based on playing house. Nothing more.
He hadn’t felt like this since he’d fallen in love with Michelle and maybe his memories were flawed, but even that hadn’t seemed as intense as what Haylee stirred in him.
Unfortunately, he didn’t sense a reciprocal response.
He drove through the gates of Beachside Villas, past the playground, to his cabin. He remembered the night they’d met, when Haylee had seen him at his worst. She hadn’t judged him. She’d kept his secret.
He had no right to expect more from her. After all, she didn’t know he was thinking about staying. She was simply protecting herself.
Still, it gnawed at him. Haylee didn’t hold herself back only from him; he’d seen the same thing in her interactions with Sage and the other kids. She did everything she could to avoid holding the baby. Was she truly uninterested in them? Or was she afraid to let herself care? Or did she know that one morning she’d wake up to discover them gone from her life? Instead of letting herself be gutted, she kept people at arm’s length, so that their loss would be merely a ripple in a pond that quickly smoothed over as if the stone that dropped in was never there.
Was there anyone she allowed herself to get close to?
Pain lanced through his chest as he faced the fact that, if Haylee could so casually let go of her own child like this, she wasn’t the person he thought she was.
“There you are!”
Aiden glanced up as he walked toward the door of his cabin. Elsie was waving at him from her garden, where she watered her flowers with a sprinkler wand.
“Elsie, how are you?” He didn’t have a lot of time, but he’d enjoyed the older couple’s company and felt bad that he hadn’t seen them much lately. Anton’s stroke had been mild and quick treatment had resulted in an almost complete recovery. There was no recovering, however, from the mass they’d found in his liver.
“I was worried about you, Aiden.” Elsie set down her wand. Water trickled out of it and snaked its way across the cracked patio slabs. “We haven’t seen you in so long.”
“More importantly, how are you? How’s Anton?”
He crossed the grass to make the conversation easier for her. He’d caught a few glimpses of the elderly man moving around inside the house, so he knew he’d recovered enough to be on his feet.
“He struggles.” Elsie’s chin wavered. “He tries to hide it, but I know it’s hard for him not to be as strong as he on
ce was. I’m grateful for every day I have with him. And I thank God that you found us when you did. You saved his life, Aiden.”
He put his arm around her for a gentle side-hug. She’d have called 911 herself, whether he’d been there or not, but she didn’t want to hear that.
“Shall I pop in and say hi?” he asked.
“Oh, he’s napping right now.” She patted his arm. “I’ll tell him you dropped by. He’ll be delighted. Now, where’s that sweet dog of yours?”
He explained what happened with the dog they’d known as Buddy.
“I’m so sorry, Aiden,” she said. “But that poor creature. I’m glad he’s found his way home. His heart must have been broken.”
They talked for a few more minutes and then Aiden left her to finish her watering and prepared to go into work. His cabin seemed spare and empty, compared to Haylee’s place. He hated the thought of sleeping alone again, but maybe she needed a break. He’d call her later and see how she was doing.
As he pulled into the staff parking lot at the hospital, he realized that he didn’t want to give her a break. She had feelings for him, he knew she did. Whether she wanted to or not. He had to find a way to help her open up.
He walked through the doors to the ER on numb legs, grateful for the buzz of activity that kept people too busy to greet him.
Could he really stay here? Give up Portland? For Haylee?
He could.
Instead of landing with shock, the thought clicked into place like the last tumbler on a sticky lock, opening him up to a world he thought lost to him. Damn it, against all odds, when he’d least expected it, he’d gone and lost his heart.
He’d been tipping so slowly and surely that he couldn’t put his finger on when he’d actually gone over the edge.
The night she’d pulled him from the rocks? That had been the start.
The day she’d caught him at the vending machines? That meal on the pier, when he’d introduced her to oysters?
The night they found Sage?
There were so many moments, he couldn’t identify a single one that was more important than the rest. He loved the way strands of Haylee’s hair flew into her eyes, even though she’d caught it up at the back of her head. He loved the way her touch soothed the frightened dogs in her care. He loved how she joked with Daphne, despite her complicated feelings. He loved her loyalty to Olivia, her sisterly defense of Jamie, the gentle way she spoke with Duane, the hospital clerk.
Surely he’d misjudged her feelings for Sage and Sal.
“Dr. Mac?”
He looked up to find an unfamiliar face peering through the doorway. The woman’s name tag read TONI.
“Yes?”
“Incoming, ETA ten minutes. Horseback riding accident, possible head injur y.”
Not from Sanctuary Ranch, he hoped. “From where?”
She named a stable he wasn’t familiar with.
“Thank you, Toni. I’ll be right there.”
* * *
Aiden’s ten-hour shift flew by and before he knew it it was time to head home. He was in desperate need of some groceries, so he dropped into the local market on the way home, where he bumped into Olivia.
They were shooting the breeze next to the produce bins when Aiden decided to take a chance. “Olivia, can I ask you a question? What’s going on with Haylee and Sage? I never see them talk. She does everything she can to avoid the baby. Something’s not right. I care about her. I want to help, if I can. What can I do?”
Olivia’s eyes narrowed. She swept a short gray braid over her shoulder, her lips pursed as if she was trying to decide how to respond.
“How are you doing?” she asked, instead.
“Me?” He blinked.
“Yeah.” Olivia lifted her eyebrows. “You.”
“I’m not talking about me.”
“You’re telling me to butt out, huh?” Olivia smiled. “Sorry, that’s not how it works.” She exhaled then, relenting. “Look, I’ve seen you and Haylee together. You’re good for her. But you’re traveling into dangerous territory, Aiden. If you think the Haylee you know is tough, you have no idea how hard she’s had to fight to get there.”
Aiden glanced around him, and took a deep breath, as if weighing his words carefully.
“I do care about her, Olivia. I know she’s struggling. I just want to help. She means a lot to me.” He paused, looked down at his hands. “I had to watch my little boy die, knowing that if I’d have only been there for him, if I’d have been paying attention, if I’d have been focused on what was really important in my life, instead of always thinking of myself and my wants, my career, my vanity, my ambition, he might still be alive. I let my marriage fall apart and barely even saw it happen. I didn’t care. I can only guess at the kind of hell Haylee’s gone through already but this is a second chance for her and she’s wasting it. Why won’t you call her on it?”
“She’s doing the best she can.” Olivia’s face drooped, suddenly making her look a decade older. “Given her past, Haylee’s doing great. She will find her way with Sage and Sal. In the meantime, don’t be too hard on her, okay? She’s got her reasons.” She hesitated. “Has she told you about her mother?”
He frowned. “No. I know her dad and brother died on nine-eleven.”
Olivia took his arm and drew him out of the way of other shoppers. “She’ll kill me when she finds out I told you, but if you truly care for her, you need to know it all.” She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Her mom struggled with depression. My brother, Haylee’s dad, didn’t want to face it. It was obvious to everyone around, even me and I barely saw them. But he was embarrassed, I guess, that he couldn’t keep his wife happy. He couldn’t see that it was an illness and that she needed help.”
Aiden didn’t like where this was going.
“When Haylee was thirteen, her mom passed away. It was ruled an accidental overdose. A medication error.”
She shrugged again and Aiden understood.
“In a very real way, Haylee herself was abandoned,” she finished. “So cut her some slack about Sage, okay? She’s doing the best she can.”
* * *
“Where is she? She should be back by now.” Haylee bounced the baby on her hip, craning her head to peer out the front window. If Aiden thought she was avoiding the kid, he should see her now.
Ha. Who was he to judge her? She didn’t need his crap. She had plenty of her own to deal with. To think she’d been starting to believe there might be something between them.
Just as well. It would never have lasted. They were too different. Whatever.
Sage had gone out an hour ago to get Karma from the veterinary hospital in town. They’d agreed to have her spayed as soon as the puppies were weaned and the last one had gone to his new home yesterday.
“She’s only fifteen minutes late,” said Olivia. “With the way it’s raining out there, that’s a good thing. She’s taking it slow. And ease up on Sal, will you? You’re going to give her whiplash.”
“Everyone’s a critic.” But she changed her motions from up and down to side to side.
It was raining pretty hard out there and the road from the coast past Sunset Bay up to the ranch was winding and narrow in spots. Still. Sage had promised to be back by now.
Olivia’s hand rested warm on her back. “You’re doing fine, Haylee.”
She wasn’t doing fine. She had no idea how to soothe an infant, as Sal’s lungs attested.
A knock sounded at the door and Haylee jumped.
Thank God!
She pulled the door open, but instead of Sage, a strange woman stood on the porch. Behind her, Olivia made a strangled sound deep in her throat.
“Beverly.” Olivia’s cheeks were the color of chalk. “What are you doing here?”
The woman looked past Haylee to Olivia, devastation on her face. “Is Sage here?”
“Liv?” Haylee looked between the two women. Olivia looked like she might fall down at any moment.
/> “Haylee,” said the woman, the word coming out on a breath. That’s when it clicked.
Beverly.
Beverly Welles.
Sage’s adoptive mother.
She stood there, watching water drip off the woman’s jacket onto the porch, hearing the downpour beyond the overhang as it splattered against the gravel, sending up the smell of mud and summertime.
This was the woman she’d entrusted her baby to, who was supposed to give her everything Haylee couldn’t, who was supposed to protect and nurture her, to raise her with love and keep her safe and happy.
“What,” she said, “do you want?”
Beverly looked at the baby in Haylee’s arms and her face crumpled. “Oh, my God. So it’s true.”
Haylee looked at Liv. Was this planned? “What’s going on? Does Sage know you’re here?”
Sage would be back any moment now. She’d run away from this woman. No way in hell Haylee was letting her daughter walk into an ambush.
“Let her in, Haylee.” Olivia gripped the edge of the chair next to her as if it was the only thing holding her up.
“Why should I?” Haylee cradled the back of Sal’s head with her palm, not wanting the woman to see her. If she thought she had a right to Sage’s daughter, Haylee would be quick to set her straight.
“I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
“For God’s sake.” Olivia pushed past Haylee and yanked the door open. “Let her in. At least hear her out, Haylee. We owe her that much.”
Chapter Nineteen
“If family memories are what you’re seeking, you couldn’t pick a better vacation destination than Sanctuary Ranch.”
—ParentsofFourCrazyBoys
Liv’s head hurt. Having Beverly Welles show up unannounced had sapped what was left of her energy.
Sage had returned ten minutes later, taken one look at Beverly, grabbed the baby out of Haylee’s arms, and promptly retreated to her room, refusing to even speak to the woman. The baby had stopped wailing, thank goodness. Hopefully, Sage was getting her down for the night.
“You should go, Beverly.” Haylee stood against the wall, holding her arms tightly. Her face was set tight, a mask of fury and fear and confusion.
Sunset Bay Sanctuary Page 24
