by Anthology
In the morning they throw rocks at me until I go away.
#
And then one day, after they throw the rocks at me and I go for water, I come back and find that they are gone. They were not very good friends, but they were the only ones I had.
What will I do now?
#
Finally, after many days, I find a single Barnaby, and it is a female. She has terrible scars on her from other Barnabys, and when she sees me she bares her teeth and growls. I sit still and hope that she will not go away.
After a long time she comes closer to me. I am afraid to move, because I do not want to frighten her or make her mad. I ignore her and stare off into the trees.
Finally she reaches out and picks an insect off my shoulder and puts it into her mouth, and soon she is sitting beside me, eating the flowers and leaves that have fallen to the ground.
Finally, when I am sure she will not run away, I sign to her, “I am Barnaby.”
She grabs at my hands as if I was playing with a fruit or an insect, then shows her teeth when she sees that I am not holding anything.
She is really not any smarter than Roger, but at least she does not run away from me.
I will call her Sally.
#
Sally is afraid of the other Barnabys, so we live at the edge of the forest, where they hardly ever come. She touches me, and that is very nice, but I find that I miss talking and thinking even more.
Every day I try to teach her to sign, but she cannot learn. We have three baby Barnabys, one after each rainy season, but they are no smarter than Sally, and besides I have forgotten most of the signs.
#
More and more People come to the forest in their brown cages. My family is afraid of them, but I love talking and listening and thinking more than anything. I always visit their camps at night, and listen to their voices in the darkness, and try to understand the words. I pretend I am back in the lab, though it is harder and harder to remember what the lab is like.
Each time there are new People I show myself and say “I am Barnaby”, but none of them ever answers. When one finally does, I will know that he is God.
There were many things I wanted to ask him once, but I cannot remember most of them. I will tell him to be nice to Sally and the other two People at the lab — I forget their names — because what has happened to me is not their fault.
I will not ask him why he hated me so much that he made me special, or why People and Barnabys always chase me away. I will just say, “Please talk to Barnaby,” and then I will ask if we can do a lesson.
Once, when I was a very bright fellow, there were many things I wanted to discuss with him. But now that I have left the world, that will be enough.
TELE-ABSENCE
Michael A. Burstein
Tony put on the spex and scrunched his hands into the tight datagloves. He pushed a button on the right earpiece, and the world around him changed.
He had been sitting in his little room, with torn clothes scattered about, a broken dresser, and a dirty window that looked out onto a brick wall. Now he found himself in a classroom. The floor was clean and the walls were a bright yellow. Tony counted fifteen desks arranged in a roomy and orderly fashion, fewer desks than he had ever seen in a classroom before.
Tony had jacked in at a few minutes before nine so he'd have a chance to explore before anyone else showed up, and he started with the windows. These windows weren't broken, like those at his own school, and it looked as if morning sunlight actually streamed in from a clear blue sky. He opened one and stuck his head out to see an incredibly large playground a few stories down; nothing like the old broken-down one in his neighborhood, where Mom never let him go, even in the middle of the day. Not that Tony was about to do so, ever; he was just as scared of the gunfire as his Mom was.
Tony pulled his head back into the room and continued exploring. Walking around felt strange, since he could feel his legs not moving as he sat in his room. And yet, in this classroom he was standing, and moving his hands around caused the rest of his body to follow. He traced the edge of the room, sliding along the screenboard at the front with the alphabet printed above it, and along the walls on the side, which were decorated with the artwork of the school's students. There was a calendar, set to this month, September. He also noticed a seating chart, with each student's name in different handwriting.
He came to a mirror in the back corner of the room, and stopped short. Staring back at him wasn't his deep brown face and curly black hair that was all too familiar, but an image of a white kid with blond hair, dressed in a button-down shirt and slacks. The spex and gloves didn't appear in the mirror either, just sparkling brown eyes and smooth pink hands. Tony moved his arms and face around, and noticed that the mirror image did so too. _No wonder the gloves are so small,_ Tony thought, _this kid has got to be at least a year younger than me. Maybe this isn't a sixth grade class --_
A sharp buzz startled Tony and he jumped. At the front of the room appeared a pretty white woman who looked as old as Tony's teachers, but she wasn't scowling the way Tony's teachers always did. Instead, she was smiling. Despite that, Tony felt scared.
"Good morning, Andrew," she said. "I'm surprised to see you here early." Her voice was soothing to Tony's ears, and he calmed down. There was no way she would figure out that he wasn't Andrew; the mirror had shown him exactly as he appeared in this virtual classroom.
"Hello, Miss..." Tony trailed off. He knew that he had taken Andrew's place, but he had no idea what the teacher's name was.
"Why are you here early? You're usually one of the last to jack in."
"Ummm...well..." Tony looked around as he stalled, and spotted a nameplate on the desk. Fortunately, it was facing towards him.
"Miss Ellis, I just felt like taking a look around before we started." Tony's voice sounded like his own to his ears, which worried him. Would Miss Ellis be able to hear that he wasn't Andrew?
Apparently not. "Okay, Andrew, though you won't have much time." She looked at her watch. "In just a minute --"
Another buzz, and this time a cute girl popped in, already seated at a desk. "Good morning, Miss Ellis."
"Good morning, Sheryl."
"Hi Andrew!"
Tony wasn't sure how to respond, but it seemed safest to say little. "Hi, Sheryl."
Sheryl opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by another buzz. The ritual repeated itself over the next few minutes; another kid popped in each time, some already sitting, some at the door, and one or two in the corners, until there were fourteen other students. Most were white, although he saw two who were black and three who he thought were Chinese. Tony noticed how happy they all looked, as they milled about talking to each other. Tony wanted to mingle, but was afraid, and so he stayed off to the side, studying the seating chart. Andrew was assigned to the front row, second seat. At least he would know where to sit when class began.
He traced the name of the student he was replacing, Andrew Drummond. Now he had a full name to attach to the spex.
Another buzz, deeper and longer, startled Tony, and a chill went through him. What if that was Andrew jacking in? He would ruin everything, and everyone would know that Tony was a fake! Tony looked around, scared, but didn't see anyone that resembled the kid in the mirror.
"Okay, class," said Miss Ellis, "it's nine o'clock. Time to begin." So that's what that different buzz meant. Tony relaxed into his -- into Andrew's -- seat. As long as he had Andrew's spex, he realized, he was Andrew, and there was no way that the real Andrew could pop in and prove otherwise. Tony wished he could be Andrew all the time, but at least he could be Andrew for the school day. Then he'd have to return to his own life. For the first time, he dreaded the final bell that would go off at three o'clock.
* * *
Miss Ellis began the class by taking attendance. Tony remembered to respond when he heard Andrew's name, which was second, right after Melissa Connor, who sat to his left. Once Miss Ellis not
ed that all were present, she told the class to take out their homework from last night.
At first, Tony didn't know what to do. He felt a lump in his throat as he realized that he couldn't take out last night's homework since he wasn't really Andrew. He knew the punishment he could suffer for not having his homework with him, and he started to tremble.
Then he noticed what Melissa was doing. She pushed some button on her desk and her computer screen flashed, and now she was waiting patiently. Maybe the homework is also done in virtual space, Tony thought, and he looked at the buttons on his desk. Sure enough, among all the letters and numbers of the keyboard there was a button labelled "HOMEWORK." Tony pushed it with relief.
His screen blinked, and a message came up: "Please enter your homework password."
Oh no! I don't know Andrew's password! Tony thought. Now what? Maybe Miss Ellis wouldn't notice if he just sat there looking intently at the screen. If he kept his head down, perhaps she wouldn't call on him. Then he wouldn't be found out.
"Melissa? Please tell us how you did the first problem."
The first problem was an easy math problem, but Melissa got it wrong. Tony braced himself for the explosion, but it didn't come.
"That's okay," said Miss Ellis instead. She worked out the problem on the screenboard in front and showed Melissa where her mistake had been. Tony was shocked. She hadn't yelled at Melissa for being wrong, and Melissa hadn't make any rude comments back or started crying.
"Andrew? Would you please explain the next problem?"
Bad luck. It looked as if Miss Ellis went through the class alphabetically when going over homework, and naturally that meant Andrew was next. But Tony knew he couldn't go over the next problem. What could he do?
"Andrew? Is there a problem?"
Tony looked up. Miss Ellis wasn't frowning, and she didn't seem upset at all. She hadn't yelled at Melissa for being wrong; maybe Tony could pretend to be having a problem as Andrew and not get yelled at.
"Yes, Miss Ellis. Ummm...I forgot my password."
"Oh, is that all? You should have said something." Miss Ellis came over to his desk, pushed a few keys, and accessed the assignment for him. It made sense, he realized, that she would be able to do that. The homework that Andrew had done came up on the screen. Feeling relieved, Tony puzzled out the solution to the second problem, which fortunately Andrew had done correctly. Tony treasured the "Very good" that Miss Ellis said in his direction, even if it was followed by "Andrew."
* * *
The class continued throughout the morning, with Miss Ellis going from subject to subject. A little math, some English, a bit of art. Tony especially enjoyed the art, as being in a virtual classroom enabled him to create beautiful pictures almost by just thinking of them. He could paint pictures in three dimensions, and he even created a collage using video images that moved and sound effects that came from a classroom library of such things. It almost got him discovered, because apparently Andrew was not too keen on this subject, and Miss Ellis became suspicious of "Andrew's" new-found enthusiasm for light sculpting. But it turned out all right; Miss Ellis was actually more pleased than suspicious to see Andrew taking an interest.
A little after eleven o'clock the buzz sounded, announcing the lunch period. Miss Ellis and the students jacked out one by one. Tony envied the other students; he imagined them in comfortable homes, sitting at tables with steaming hot plates piled up with food.
Tony himself didn't jack out. He spent the entire forty minutes in the virtual classroom, relishing every minute he was there. He played with his desk computer, using it to create more works of art and to read history textbooks that changed the words they used when Tony punched in that he didn't understand something. He didn't mind the stomach rumbles he felt near the end of the period; he was used to them.
* * *
"Now, class, we're going to learn a little geography. Who can tell me what this is?" Miss Ellis pushed a button at the top of the blackboard, and a holographic map appeared, floating halfway between her desk and the class. Tony recognized it and raised his hand. So did most of the class.
Miss Ellis called on Tony. "Yes, Andrew?"
"It's the United States." Tony thought it was the most beautiful map he had ever seen. It shimmered in the air, floating in and out of insubstantiality. The features -- states, cities, mountains, and rivers, just to name a few -- were displayed in many different intense colors. There was a vibrancy to this map which made it more real than any flat map Tony had seen in his own classroom.
"Very good, Andrew. Well, class, today I want to introduce you to the various parts of our country, and I think the best way of doing that is to have you do it for us. Who wants to be first to tell us where they're from?"
The girl sitting to Tony's right raised her hand. "Janice?"
"I live in Florida, Miss Ellis, in Neptune Beach, near Jacksonville. But I just moved there from San Francisco."
"Can you point out both places on the map?"
Janice punched a few keys on her desk computer, and a small spot in northeastern Florida lit up in green. A second later, so did a spot in northern California.
"Very good! Someone else?"
One of the Asian girls raised her hand. "Sandra?"
Sandra hit a few keys and a spot near Washington, D.C. turned green. "I live in Silver Spring, Maryland."
Miss Ellis continued going through the class, and the students became very enthusiastic about it. "I'm in East Lansing, Michigan!" shouted a kid named Brian, who had just moved from Los Alamos, New Mexico. "I live near Boston!" shouted another. Each student's hometown was lit up, either by Miss Ellis or by the student.
Tony felt scared. He lived in Harlem, in New York City, and desperately wanted to volunteer that information, but he couldn't. He was supposed to be Andrew, and he didn't know exactly where Andrew lived. He knew it was out on Long Island, because the car with the spex had displayed Long Island license plates. But where on Long Island?
And how did the other students use the computer to light up the map?
The next one to go was Sheryl, who had been the first student to pop in after Tony. She used her computer to light up Suffolk County, on Long Island. "I live in Port Jefferson," she said, "right near Andrew."
"Andrew, would you like to locate your hometown as well?" asked Miss Ellis. "You could come up to the map since it's already lit up."
Feeling trapped, Tony ran up to the map, stabbed at Suffolk County with his -- Andrew's -- finger, and sprinted back to his seat.
Miss Ellis went through the rest of the class. All over the map, the hometowns were lit up in green. "Who would like to talk about their hometown first?"
Tony felt Miss Ellis's eyes staring right at him, and worried that she might call on him. Her eyes passed over him, though, and she called on Brian. Tony exhaled a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding.
Since he knew Los Alamos better than East Lansing, Brian chose to talk about his original hometown instead of where he was now. Tony barely paid attention as Brian talked about the joys of small town life and then displayed some pictures from a family photo album that he was able to pull up using his computer. Miss Ellis then discussed the arid mountainous area where the town was located, and how there had been a scientific laboratory there until the year 2010.
Janice went next, and again Tony was too scared to pay attention. Janice described San Francisco, and, possibly still thinking about lunch, mentioned the delicious seafood and sourdough bread. Miss Ellis talked about other things, such as the earthquakes that San Francisco had experienced, and the Golden Gate Bridge, which she said had been one of the longest suspension bridges in the country until the earthquake just last year that destroyed it. She showed three dimensional video images of the earthquake, and even made the classroom shake up a bit, so the students could experience a bit of what an earthquake was like.
Janice continued, "But now I live in Florida, and it's really nice, except it gets awful hot in the
summer. But let me show you!" With that, Janice hit a few keys, and on the screenboard appeared a picture of a large white house. "See! There's my front yard!"
"Oh, yeah?" said Brian. Using his computer, he erased the picture of Janice's house. A few seconds later, a picture of Brian appeared, wearing spex and sitting in some sort of large black chair with arms that closed in front. Tony felt uneasy, looking at that picture.
Brian waved his hand in class, and so did the Brian in the picture. "See!" he said. "That's me in real time!"
"Oh yeah?" said Janice. "Well, watch --"
"Janice! Brian!" Miss Ellis interrupted. Oh no, thought Tony, now they're going to get it. He braced himself for the shouting. Instead, the two students each mumbled an apology.
"It's okay," Miss Ellis said. "I understand why you're excited, I just didn't want you to get out of hand. You see, class, one of the nice things about being here is that we all jack in from different places. Each of you can learn from one another about the great diversity we have in this country. Here you are, telling each other about your hometowns, even though you may live thousands of miles away from your classmates. I figure it will also give you a chance to find out more about each other, since it is so early in the school year."
Sheryl raised her hand, which worried Tony. "Couldn't people do that before?"
"Well, yes," Miss Ellis replied, "but it wasn't so immediate. In fact, you're experiencing something now that in the past only college students could usually experience. And they had to travel physically to one common location to share their backgrounds, which was much more expensive and time consuming. You don't need to do that at all."
Miss Ellis turned to Tony. "Andrew, since Sheryl asked a question, why don't you tell us about your common hometown of Port Jefferson?"
Tony looked down at his desk. His stomach felt queasy. If only Sheryl hadn't brought attention to herself, and then to him as well. Or if only Sheryl hadn't been here in the first place. Then he could make up anything he wanted about Port Jefferson, and Miss Ellis would never know. But Sheryl would see right through any lies he might tell, and anyway, Tony didn't like to lie.
