by M. Malone
“Sorry things are a bit cramped here. I know it’s hard to find room to think when there are so many people on top of each other.”
She tilted her head adorably. “You’re apologizing for keeping us all safe?”
Relief that she got it spread through him. “When you put it like that, no, I’m not.”
“Good. Because you’re doing the best you can, Noah. That’s all anyone can do. And for the record, your best is pretty damn good.”
She leaned over and kissed him gently. The sweetness of the kiss caught him off guard, sending a bolt of pure longing and awe through him. Would he ever get used to the idea that she was actually his? He watched her dress, his heart flipping over as she kept glancing at him with intimate little looks that made him feel like he was ten feet tall.
He hoped he never got used to her, to them together. Noah never wanted to forget how fortunate he was to have someone to love and who loved him in return.
“Let me know when you’re ready for dinner. I promised Jonas that we’d get burgers tonight. I think he’s going through withdrawals.”
“Oh, thank you! I thought I was the only one. Home-cooked meals are awesome but if I don’t get something greasy and fattening in my system soon I’m going to lose it.”
Noah chuckled. As long as they’d been together, Lucia had been harassing him to eat better and just take better care of himself in general. So he couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease her for missing junk food.
“You know, I’ve been trying to eat better like you said.”
Lucia gave him a death glare. “Don’t even start. I have been through too much in the past couple of weeks to care about the state of my arteries. I want grease and fat, and I want it now.”
“Yes, ma’am. Your wish is my command.”
Lucia leaned over the bed and kissed him, her lips lingering against his until Noah was hard as a rock. He reached under the sheet and grasped his cock firmly, squeezing just below the head until he didn’t feel as though he was in danger of coming just from the sound of her voice.
“Say that again,” she whispered.
“Anything you want is yours, baby. You know that.”
“Good because what I want is the most fattening, delicious burger in the state of New York.”
Lucia winked at him before leaving the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
Noah was in the middle of dressing when someone knocked on the door. He pulled his shirt over his head hastily before stalking over to the door and yanking it open. Then he blinked when he saw that it was Matthias standing there.
“Can I come in? I have something to show you.”
Noah stepped back and allowed him to enter the room. Although Matthias had been insisting for days that he was fine, he was still slightly pale. The bruises had faded but there were dark shadows under his eyes, making him look gaunt.
“I was finally able to pull camera footage from the bank across the street. Their encryption was pretty decent so it took a little longer than I expected. You have to see this to believe it.”
He held out his tablet, and Noah turned it around to see the image displayed. It took him a moment to process what he was seeing, but when it finally sank in, his breath left his lungs in a sudden sharp exhalation. The edges of his vision went gray, and he would have fallen if Matthias hadn’t clapped him on the shoulder.
“You okay, Boss?” Matthias peered at him with concern.
Noah pounded on his own chest, trying to jumpstart his heart. “Rafe. This is Rafe,” he repeated needlessly.
Matthias brought the tablet closer and stared at the image as if that would somehow make it clearer. The man pictured was in profile, but Noah would never forget that face. He’d stood by his side and watched that profile for years, after all.
Matthias touched the screen, and it switched to another image. In this one, Rafe faced the camera and the shock of seeing him hit Noah all over again. He was wearing glasses, no doubt to hide his face since Rafe had always had perfect vision, and a suit that looked expensive. His friend was definitely older, his dark hair threaded through with gray at the temples and above the ears, but it was undeniably Rafe.
“This is not possible.” He stared. How was this possible? How was she right?
Matthias frowned and then glanced down at the image. “Wait, when you say that’s Rafe, you don’t mean–”
“That’s Rafael DeMarco. Lucia’s brother.”
Matthias stared at him blankly. “I thought her brother was dead?”
“I thought he was, too. Especially since I’m the one who killed him.” Six long years ago. The grief and the shame had almost killed him.
Noah turned the tablet off, unable to stomach looking at his old friend’s treacherous face any longer. A million thoughts clamored for space in his brain but at the forefront was, What the hell am I supposed to tell Lucia? Except … she’d tried to tell him, hadn’t she? He’d assumed she was losing it. That the pressure had been too much. But she’d been right.
And you didn't believe her.
“What are we going to do?” Matthias finally asked. His face was a blank mask, but that didn’t fool Noah. The kid would have questions, along with all of the others.
The things he’d done in his past were coming back to haunt them all, and it was only fair for them to expect answers since they were the ones paying the price. Matthias had taken a brutal beating and Jonas could have lost his sight, so if their injuries had anything to do with his skeletons falling out of the closet, they had the right to some answers.
But first, he had to ask the right questions. Because with how strange Lucia had been acting all day he couldn’t ignore the very real possibility that she had more than an inkling that Rafe was alive. Something that went beyond hearing his voice that night. Something more concrete, like seeing him.
“Nothing. You are not going to do anything. He was in the building with Lucia, but he obviously didn’t hurt her. So that’s not his end game.”
The kid frowned. “Do you really think he’d hurt his own sister?”
“Hell if I know. He’s not the same guy I once knew, obviously. I can’t pretend to understand what he would or wouldn’t do. So I’m going to ask the only person who might know.”
“Lucia. Shit, this is going to get ugly.” Matthias shook his head. “You really think she knows?”
“God, I hope not.” Noah took the tablet and tucked it under his arm. “She and I are going to have a little talk.”
chapter eight
Noah wasn't sure whether to be furious with Lucia, or thrilled that she was right. Either way, they needed to have it out. She’d made love to him not two hours ago, but when she’d looked at him and told him she loved him, she’d been lying to him.
She didn't lie; she kept it to herself. Damn it. Keeping a secret like this was tantamount to lying. How the hell was he supposed to keep her safe, keep them all safe if she didn't tell him the most pertinent information of all? As much as he wanted to justify it, he couldn’t deny the bitter tang of betrayal on his tongue.
He found her in the living room, cross-legged on the couch, wearing one of his shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. She had the sleeves rolled up to reveal her slim forearms. Head bent over, she was going through a stack of fashion magazines labeling things and putting Post-its on them. Writing things like, Pull, Check with Adriana if we have it, and Can we partner with this designer?
She was working. Completely in her zone. Well, too bad for her; Noah was about to interrupt her. He marched over to the couch, and she looked up, giving him the sweetest smile he'd ever seen. So sweet it pulled at the places in his heart he’d have sworn didn’t exist anymore. She looked so perfect there, the lamp on the table creating soft shadows and halos all over her. She looked like an angel.
"Hi. What's up?" There was an invitation in her smile and, like the traitor it was, his dick swelled. He couldn't seem to keep his mind or his hands off of her. But they needed to talk, s
o the big guy downstairs would just have to wait.
"I was going to ask you the same thing. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"
Her brows furrowed even as she continued smiling up at him. "No. I mean, unless when you say talk, you mean—" She lifted a brow and her eyes danced mischievously.
Okay, so he could totally understand how even the most hardened spies could fall for the enemy. Because right about now, he wasn't using the brain cells God gave him. He was using the other part of his brain. The one completely responsible for manning the sex train. The one that wanted to yank off her boxers and sink into her, right here in the middle of the living room, where anyone could walk in.
No. Stay strong. Besides, they’d done enough of that. After one too many close calls, the tracking devices he had everyone wear were now used to track where he and Lucia were, so the team could give them a wide berth.
Not exactly the use he had planned for them, but whatever. They had enough privacy. And maybe if he just sank deep into her, he’d stop riding the razor’s edge and focus enough so he could ask her what he needed to ask her. If he slid the boxers off, spread her wide and stroked deep, they’d both feel better. They’d be relaxed enough to have this conversation. It was amazing the things he could come up with when he let his dick do the thinking.
He considered it. For a long moment, he considered it. She’d taste so sweet. Was she sore from earlier? Or, from this morning? He hadn't exactly been gentle. But then again, neither had she. He still had her nail marks on his shoulders. Noah grinned with purely male satisfaction. He could still feel how those scratches had stung this morning in the shower when the water hit them.
Oh shit. He did not need to think about the shower, or what they did in there.
And he probably shouldn’t think about her taste because then he’d think about what they’d just done and—no. Never mind, there it was. In amazing Technicolor and surround sound in his mind. He cleared his throat.
No. They were having this conversation now. Because he was pretty damn certain that after they had this conversation, the last thing on his mind would be sex.
"Nope. Nothing to talk about."
Her gaze searched his. And he saw pain there. He hated that he’d had a part in the pain there. Because he was pretty damn sure there was one thing she probably wanted to talk about, but she didn’t trust him to be open-minded. That hurt more than anything else, that she couldn't talk to him. Didn't she understand that all he wanted was her safety and happiness?
Behind his back, Noah's fingers tightened around the tablet he held. A tablet that held the image of a ghost he’d long since buried. A ghost that was back to haunt them all. The question was what did he want?
Noah took the tablet with the photo on display from behind his back and slapped it on the table. "Explain."
Lucia glanced at the picture, and her breath caught. Her fingers flew to her lips then her gaze flickered to his. "I don’t know what to say.”
"Matthias came into my office freaking the fuck out because Nelson came back as a false name. I lost years off of my life in that split second when I was worried about you."
"Noah, I can explain."
He shook his head. "I was terrified that something happened to you. Terrified that once again I was too late. And then I called Ryan and everything was fine. So I need to know what’s going on. After everything we’ve been through, I would have thought honesty was a given. Then Matthias showed me something that should be impossible. Something you already knew."
"I didn't lie to you, Noah."
He crossed his arms. "Oh yeah? Then what do you call it exactly? Omission? You just happened to forget that you saw your brother in your office today?" He kneeled down so their gazes were level. "Or please, tell me you didn't see him. Please fucking tell me he came into your office but you didn't see him. Tell me that so that I don't think the woman I love lied to me."
She pushed herself off the couch and shoved at his chest. Not that she could move him, but still. Noah didn't know what he’d expected. How he’d expected her to respond. All he knew was he hadn't expected this. He'd never seen her like this before.
"How dare you? How dare you stand there and call me a liar because I didn't tell you I saw him. That I didn’t tell you that he showed up at my office, unannounced, as some kind of potential investor. Don't stand there acting like I knew what was going to happen and deliberately deceived you. No, I didn't tell you I saw him. No, I didn't tell you he asked me to leave with him. But why would I? You would have had me fitted for a lovely white jacket with funky straps. Fuck you, Noah. I tried to tell you I saw Rafe already, remember? I wasn’t too eager for you to tell me I’m crazy again."
That did make him stagger. He didn't think he’d ever heard her use the word fuck before. He’d never seen her this furious. After everything they’d been through over the years, she’d never gone off on him like this before.
"Lucia, I didn’t say you’re crazy."
“Oh didn't you? You insinuated it. Tried to make me think that my mind was playing tricks on me. That I wanted to think he was back, so I fabricated it all. The damn sunflower seeds, the voice when he tried to take me from the penthouse. I thought I was losing it. I needed you to be in my corner. I needed you to tell me we’d figure it out. Hell, even if you’d said, ‘I think someone's deliberately fucking with you,’ that would've been far better than, ‘Lucia, princess, your mind is playing tricks on you.’ You might as well have taken out a billboard saying ‘This bitch is crazy.’"
They squared off against each other as he stared down at her. "I never called you crazy."
"Bullshit. Did you or did you not think I needed a shrink?"
He opened his mouth then snapped it shut. Fuck. "Look, I was worried. I love you and I was watching you drown."
"Well, how was I supposed to feel when I thought my brother was back? And newsflash, turns out he is. Turns out I wasn't crazy and losing my shit after all."
"Lu —"
"Don't you dare start with me. I told you. You didn't believe me. That hurt. It hurt so deep."
She started to shake then wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back on her heels. All he wanted to do was hold her. He hated this, what they were doing to each other. Hated that he’d fucked up.
She was right. She’d tried to tell him. But he’d only seen it one way and if he was going to figure out what his old friend was up to, he needed to be able to look at it from all angles. He didn't want this to be their undoing, so he gritted his teeth, knowing she was going to fight him, but he wrapped his arms around her anyway, rocking their bodies together.
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I saw the picture and I lost it. I almost lost you that night. I almost lost three of my friends. I just couldn't see what you were seeing. And that's no excuse because I should've believed you. I love you. You are my entire world and I should’ve trusted in you."
Against his chest she sobbed wildly. He kept hold of her until eventually she wrapped her arms around him and he breathed a sigh of relief. They might not be okay right now, but they would be. Because she loved him too. And she wasn't going to stop no matter how dicey things got.
"Let's try this again. Tell me what happened today."
Against his chest, she whispered everything that happened in her office. Rafe trying to direct her out and away. And how he’d told her not to trust Noah or anyone that worked for him.
Noah frowned in confusion. If he was alive and keeping tabs on his sister, Rafe had to know that Noah had left ORUS by now. Was something else going on? All he knew was his best friend was back from the dead. And had tried to kill him and/or his men on more than one occasion. So right now, Noah didn't fucking trust Rafe at all. Certainly not with Lucia's life.
Noah wasn't sure how long he held her, but eventually she started to relax into his arms, and he picked her up, carrying her to the couch before setting her on his lap. "Please forgive me. I was worried. But I should've listene
d."
She nodded. "I'm sorry. I should've told you. I wanted to; I just wasn't sure how you'd react."
He licked his lips. "Can I ask you a question?"
She nodded.
"Why didn't you go with him? Having him back is all you've ever wanted."
Lucia eyes settled on his and what he saw there rocked him. Complete love and trust.
"I love you. I couldn't just leave you like that. I knew how much you’d worry and honestly, I'm not sure how much I should trust him. He let me and Nonna grieve for him. He put us through torture. And you too. He's hurt Ryan, Matthias, Jonas, and Oskar. I love Rafe. And part of me is so full with joy that he's alive, but I don't know what's going on. But one thing I know for sure is that you love me and would never let anyone hurt me. So I stayed."
His gaze searched hers. "I would absolutely come for you. I would turn over every corner of this earth to find you if he’d taken you away from me."
She nodded. "That's part of what I'm afraid of. Starting some war with you and Rafe. We’re already in the middle of a war. One I don't understand and I don't know how to stop. I didn't want anyone else getting hurt on my behalf. Not you, not him. Or anyone here. All of you are my family so I just didn't say anything. Sorry if I compromised anyone’s safety."
He nodded. "I get it. I shouldn’t have asked you to choose."
"So what do we do now?"
"If I know your brother, he'll try again. But he’s certainly not going to talk to me. He's not going to come to us head on. ORUS trained him too well. He wants you."
"So what are we supposed to do?"
"I think I need you to wear a wire."
