After he’d walked away from her this afternoon, she wasn’t sure what to think of him anymore. What had he meant by telling her he was hurt by their relationship? Was it possible that he cared for her more than he’d admitted?
When she entered the back door through the kitchen, she collapsed into a chair at the table, unable to push herself any further. The kitchen was filled with delectable aromas and the table was set for three again, but her aenti was nowhere to be found. She forced herself out of the chair and walked toward the sitting room where Hiram was stoking the fire in the hearth.
He looked up when Katie entered the room. “Would you like me to put away the horse for you?”
“Danki, but I already took care of her. Where’s Aenti?”
Nettie walked into the room wiping wet hands on her apron. “I was in the bathroom. Are you hungry? I made a big meal.”
Katie shook her head and walked toward the stairs. “I’m not hungry. I think I’ll just turn in.”
“That’s narrish. I’m not going to let you go to bed on an empty stomach. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but I won’t take no for an answer about dinner.”
Katie continued to walk toward the stairs. “Don’t the two of you want to eat alone? This is your courting period.”
Nettie grabbed Katie by the hand and gently guided her toward the kitchen. “We will have plenty of time to be alone when we’re married. Right now, I want to hear how your day went. From the look on your face, I’d say you had a rough time of it. Are my students giving you trouble?”
“Nee, the students are gut. But I do have something that is worrying me…but I’m not sure I should talk about it in front of company. Can we talk later?”
After the silent prayer, Hiram smiled sympathetically toward Katie. “We are practically familye. You don’t have to be shy around me.”
Katie flashed Hiram an unsure look. “Even if it involves Caleb?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Especially if it’s about Caleb. Has he done something to upset you? He isn’t too old for a trip out to the barn with a switch.”
Katie almost laughed at the thought of Hiram trying to take a switch to Caleb. She imagined he would have a tough time of it. She couldn’t imagine Caleb sitting still for such a thing.
“Nee, I’m the one who did something to hurt him, and I’m not sure I understand what.”
Nettie patted her hand. “Why don’t you start from the beginning, and we’ll see if we can help you figure it out.”
She wasn’t hungry anyway, so she began to tell the story while they ate. Katie worried what her aenti would think when she described the harshness with which her daed had treated her, but the woman seemed to take it all in stride. Then she explained her plan to save money so she would have a place to stay, but since she’d come here, she wanted to stay with her aenti.
Nettie looked at Katie sternly. “You don’t have to marry anyone you don’t want to. You can rent my haus for a small fee if you need a place to stay.”
Hiram interrupted. “What does any of this have to do with Caleb?”
Katie cleared her throat nervously. “I’m getting to that part. When Jessup came to the school, he saw me and Caleb in an embrace, and…”
Hiram’s eyes grew wide. “Why were the two of you embracing? Has he been improper with you?”
“Nee, I had shared your news of the wedding with him and he hugged me. I know I promised to keep it quiet so you could make the announcement, but I have become quite the blabbermaul lately, and I’m sorry, but I keep breaking promises to people and I don’t know why. Maybe I just can’t be trusted with a secret.”
Nettie and Hiram laughed. “We’ve already told a few people too. We couldn’t keep it to ourselves anymore than you could. But breaking promises is another thing. Who else have you hurt?”
Tears pooled in Katie’s eyes, and she swallowed them down. “I promised Rachel I wouldn’t tell Caleb I knew he couldn’t read. And I promised Caleb I wouldn’t tell anyone that we have been faking a courtship to get me out of having to marry Jessup, but I can’t keep this stuff inside anymore. It’s giving me a stomach ache.”
Nettie patted Katie’s hand again. “I knew Caleb couldn’t read. He came to school a few times, but got discouraged when he couldn’t keep up with the other students. He made the decision to stay home with his daed and work the farm. There’s no shame in that.”
“I know aenti, and I don’t have a low opinion of him for it. In fact, I tried to help him in exchange for pretending to be my beau so Jessup would go back to Nappanee.”
Hiram sat back in his chair and wiped a spot of gravy from his beard. “That doesn’t sound like my Caleb. Either he’s fallen off his horse and hit his head, or he’s fallen for you, Katie.”
Katie’s heart fluttered. “He told me that the fake relationship was hurting him. I don’t want to hurt him. I love him, but I’m too afraid to tell him. I don’t think I could bear it if he rejected me.”
Hiram nodded to Nettie as if to say he’d answer this one. “I could tell him for you, but it wouldn’t mean the same coming from me. He deserves to know the truth about how you feel. If you don’t ever tell him, how will you ever know how he feels about you? I held back telling your aenti how I felt because I was afraid she would reject me. She did the same thing to me. Look how many years we wasted? Don’t make the same mistake we did. Tell him, and tell him soon. Or you might lose him.”
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CHAPTER 28
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Caleb was determined to tell Katie how he really felt about her—even if it meant she would reject him. He pulled up to the school and noticed her buggy was already there. He pulled his timepiece from the pocket of his trousers and noted that she was early. He smiled, feeling proud that she’d finally made it on time after two full weeks of being late.
When he entered the school, Henry was tending the fire, and Katie was busy grading papers. Several students were already seated and busy preparing for their day. He sunk into his place at the back of the room and pulled out his own writing tablet. He was eager to talk to her, but it would probably have to wait until the lunch hour. For now, he would enjoy his reading lesson and the opportunity to learn from the woman he loved.
Within minutes, the last of the students arrived, and Caleb settled in for his lesson. The morning went by quickly, and before he knew it, Caleb was faced with an opportunity to talk to Katie. He approached her, but one of the students interrupted them asking about the spring festival. Katie whisked the little girl to the front of the room so she could show her a few plans she’d drawn up for the various booths. The child whined, asking if she could run the fish pond, but Katie told her she would have to have her schweschder’s help. The little girl didn’t like that answer, but Caleb admired the grace with which Katie handled the girl’s tantrum.
Watching her diversion tactics with the young student made him think how patient she might be with kinner of her own—their kinner. Without realizing, Caleb’s face heated at the thought of having kinner with Katie. He was in lieb with her, there was no denying that. He only wished he could be sure she wouldn’t break his heart.
The door to the school suddenly swung open, and Caleb braced himself for another confrontation with Jessup. When he turned around, it was Bishop Troyer that he faced instead. Assuming Jessup had followed through with his threat to expose his relationship with Katie, he found himself grasping onto the words he might use to satisfy the Bishop’s inquisition.
The two of them shook hands, while Katie looked up, feeling suddenly very intimidated. She had only met the Bishop briefly at the Yoder’s before she and Caleb had left without saying a word to anyone. She wondered if her actions that night would make it difficult for the Bishop to have compassion for their situation. Knowing it was inevitable they talk; she excused herself from her student and went to the back of the school to greet Bishop Troyer with the most convincing smile she could manage.
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“Bishop Troyer, it’s gut to see you again. What brings you out this way?”
His look was somber, and Katie didn’t find that encouraging in the least.
“I was wondering if I might have a word with the two of you. Could you drop by my haus after school so we can have a brief talk?”
“Jah, we’ll be there at four o’clock.” Caleb shook his hand again, and Katie nodded agreement to the meeting time.
Bishop Troyer left just as swiftly as he’d come in, leaving Katie’s stomach in knots.
“I’ll get Henry to take my buggy home. He lives just past my farm, so I’m sure he won’t mind. We can take your buggy since you don’t know the way. There isn’t any sense in taking two buggies.”
Katie frowned. “Do you think that’s wise for us to show up together in the same buggy?”
“Katie, he asked to speak to both of us together. What difference does it make for us to arrive in the same buggy? Besides, it will help show the validity of our relationship.”
Katie leaned in close and lowered her voice.
“But it’s not valid.”
It was for him, and he aimed to make her understand it somehow.
****
By the time the school day was over, Katie was exhausted. She was so nervous about talking to the Bishop, she could barely think. She’d prayed a couple of times, asking Gott to make things right for her and Caleb.
She climbed in her buggy and let Caleb take the reins. She didn’t even trust herself to drive. Despite the cold wind that blew into the buggy, Katie could feel little beads of sweat forming on her forehead, and her palms were clammy inside her gloves.
Caleb started to pull away from the school, and then he stopped.
“What are you doing? We told him we’d be there at four o’clock. We’re going to be late.”
Caleb let go of the reins and turned to Katie. “I can’t lie to the Bishop.”
Katie began to shake. “I don’t want to lie either, but we got ourselves into this mess, and now we can’t back out of it. We have to stick together, or I’ll have to marry Jessup.”
Caleb said a silent prayer asking for courage to tell her what he need to. “I won’t lie to the Bishop.”
Before he could say another word, Katie looked up at him with watery eyes. He couldn’t hurt her. Pulling her into his arms, he felt her frame turn rigid. He knew he needed to show her what he was too afraid to say. He cupped her face in his hands and drew her lips to his, kissing her gently at first. His hunger for her drove him to deepen the kiss, and she pressed her lips to his in response.
“I love you, Katie,” he whispered. “I truly love you, and I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
Katie giggled. “I love you too.”
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CHAPTER 29
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The meeting with Bishop Troyer had gone better than Katie could have hoped for. Katie felt like they were out of the woods, but there was one more thing she had to take care of.
She snuggled in close to Caleb. “Will you take me to the B&B so I can speak to Jessup? I need to try to make things right with him.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for the Bishop to have his talk with him? He said he would handle it.”
Katie sighed. “Jah, I know. But you were right about the apology not being enough. I need to at least try to fix the mess I’ve caused.”
Caleb kissed the top of her head that rested on his shoulder. “Alright. But keep it brief. He seems like the sort of mann that tends to get heated easily, and we don’t need another confrontation with him. I know my Aenti Bess won’t stand for any discord at her place of business.”
Katie hadn’t even met his aenti yet, and suddenly felt a little uneasy about the circumstances with which they would meet for the first time. She hadn’t made a very gut impression on his mamm and daed either after running off at the dinner they’d hosted. Hopefully, the fact that his grossdaddi would now be married to her aenti would make a difference. Hiram certainly didn’t have any ill opinion of her.
Suddenly feeling very unsure, she asked Caleb to turn the buggy around. “I changed my mind. I’ll write him a letter explaining everything. I don’t want your Aenti Bess to think ill of me.”
Caleb chuckled. “Trust me, she won’t. If nothing else, she’ll have as much respect for you as I do for facing your wrongs and trying to make them right. The members of my familye are not like yours seem to be. They are very understanding and never judgmental. They’ve all made so many mistakes, that they have nothing but acceptance for everyone.”
Katie couldn’t imagine such an accepting bunch, but she was open-minded enough to accept Caleb’s word for it. As they pulled into the curved driveway of the B&B, Katie’s stomach clenched.
Caleb turned to her and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “Everything is going to be fine. I won’t leave your side. I’m proud of you for doing this.”
“Danki.”
Caleb assisted her out of the buggy, and they started up the porch. Jessup was sitting on one of the rocking chairs, a suitcase at his feet.
He stood up to greet them. “I’m waiting for a taxi. I’m going back to Nappanee.”
Katie looked him in the eye. She was shaking, but she needed to clear the air between them.
“Jessup, I never meant to hurt you. I came here asking for forgiveness. Do you think you could forgive me for treating you like you didn’t matter?”
Jessup’s look softened. “You aren’t the only one who is at fault here, Katie. I was only wanting to marry you so my kinner would have a mamm. I don’t love you, Katie. I still love my fraa, Elizabeth. But she has gone to be with Gott. I don’t think anyone could ever replace her. I’m sorry, Katie, for not considering your feelings. It was selfish of me. Please forgive me.”
Katie suddenly saw a side to Jessup that she hadn’t seen before—a kinder, more caring side. She knew that he had only been a widower for six months before he began to pursue her hand. She hadn’t realized he needed her more than she had needed him.
“Of course I forgive you, Jessup. You will find someone to love again. It might take a little more time, but I’m certain Gott does not intend for you to be alone and your kinner to be without a mamm indefinitely. Keep your eyes and your heart open, Jessup, and Gott will surely bless you greatly. You’re a gut mann, and I wish you well.”
Jessup smiled. It was the first time she had ever seen him smile in the two years she had known him.
“Danki. I forgive you, Katie. Go and have a wunderbaar life. I wish you and Caleb well.”
Katie couldn’t help but smile. “Danki.”
Caleb and Jessup shook hands. Katie felt the burden of her sin against Jessup lift away. They had mistreated each other without meaning to, but now they were both forgiven.
Katie was finally free to have a life with the mann she loved.
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CHAPTER 30
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Katie couldn’t believe she was actually looking forward to seeing her familye. They would arrive in the morning in anticipation for the wedding. Aenti had gotten her cast off, and the doctor had given her hope that her bones were strong and had healed perfectly.
Katie was happy that things had gone well with the Bishop, and he had accepted her relationship with Caleb. It helped that the relationship was finally real. Caleb had offered to help smooth things over with her daed, but it didn’t matter to Katie if he accepted Caleb as a suitable replacement for Jessup. The only thing that mattered to her was that she was courting the mann she loved, and she would continue to live in this community since Bishop Troyer had given her his blessing.
As she put on her cloak to go out to the barn to collect the eggs for breakfast, Katie heard whining. Peering through the window of the kitchen door, she could see the stray dogs pacing on the porch.
“So you found out where I live, huh?” she said aloud. “Let me get you
a couple of ham steaks so I can get around you.”
After finding the meat left over from dinner the night before, Katie tossed it out to the dogs and slammed the door. She watched from the safety of the window as they gnawed on the large slabs of ham. Feeling confident that they were preoccupied enough that she could slip out to the barn unnoticed, she opened the door cautiously.
She stepped out onto the porch feeling brave until the larger of the two stopped what he was doing and eyed her. Reaching behind her, she felt for the doorknob, unsure if trying to run back inside was the best course of action. She knew it was too far to the barn to try to make a run for it. But this dog was so close, he could rip her leg off before she managed to get back in the door.
Gott please help me. Let these dogs know I wish them no harm.
A whine escaped the larger dog, and his tale lifted in a slow, cautious wag. He lowered his head, bobbing it a couple of times and then dropped to Katie’s feet, resting his chin on the toe of her boot. He let out another whine, looking up at her with hopeful eyes.
“I was wrong,” she said to the dog. “You’re not just hungry, you’re lonely.”
She bent down slowly and cautiously and put the back of her hand out to the dog. His nose lifted enough to give her hand a sniff. His tongue jutted out of his mouth and he licked the back of her hand. Then he nudged her with his nose. She slowly placed her other hand on the top of his head and began to pet him. He scooted closer to her, keeping his belly to the cold ground, and she allowed both hands to rub his fur. Before long, the other dog inched his way over to her, begging for attention.
Tears dripped down Katie’s cheeks. She was happy because it seemed that the three of them had found a new home.
THE END
Amish Winter of Promises: Book Four Page 9
