by JJ King
"What do you mean?" he asked, still looking at me with that adorable head tilt that made him look like a cat.
He started to say something several times then stopped before finally saying what everyone was so clearly thinking.
"Do you mean you want to have sex with all of us?" His eyes brightened for a moment in intrigue, then shifted to look at Dimitri and Lucian. "At the same time?"
My eyes widened as blood rushed to my cheeks as it was wont to do lately. My hands abandoned my stomach to press against my heated cheeks as I shook my head.
"I don't mean anything by it," I said so fast it came out garbled.
I should've expected Chase to be this blunt and prepared for it. Instead, I was embarrassed and overwhelmed by a notion that made my core flame to life, but was a huge step that might never happen in what I was now privately thinking of as my potential mate harem.
"I'm not suggesting orgies or setting any boundaries. I'm just telling you guys the truth. I never felt this way about anyone before in my entire life and, all of a sudden, I'm bombarded with feelings for not just one guy, but all three of you, and it's confusing, and aggravating, and really scary. But the only time I'm more scared, is when I think about not being with you, Chase," I said to my southern playboy. I turned to stare into the soulful eyes of my quiet poet. "Or you, Lucian. Or you, Dimitri."
I ended with my dark demon.
Tension and emotion bounced off the walls of the room, amplifying each moment of silence until my heart pounded like a jackhammer in my chest, screaming that I'd ruined everything and that I would end up alone. Tears gathered in my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks as all three of them stared at me without speaking, their eyes dark and unfathomable.
Panic loosed in my gut and climbed me, like a drowning man, pulling me under with each desperate step to salvation. My breathing came in ragged gasps that filled the room and echoed like drums inside my skull.
I didn't think—I couldn't—so I did what I did best when the darkness was nipping at my heels.
I ran.
Chapter 19
The sound of my shoes hitting the pavement as I ran echoed back and sent thrills of fear racing up my spine, just like when I'd been a child. Only, there had always been a monster chasing me back then, lunging after me to throw me back into the darkness and throw away the key. Now, there were only the mildly interested faces of Beta Wolf Academy students and faculty staring back at me when I glanced over my shoulder and pounded harder on the concrete as I ran away from my problems.
I'd fucked everything up. I'd jumped the gun too soon, before they were ready, and now— Old Ones, I didn't want to think about what they were saying about me right now.
Dimitri didn't share. I could tell that about him in the way his face hardened, and possessiveness had gleamed in his dark eyes. Lucian had just looked shocked. Chase had seemed interested, at least, but that was probably because he'd experienced threesomes, or foursomes, or, who knows, maybe even orgies.
I didn't want orgies, my mind argued, filled now with rebuttals that had slipped the gaping holes in my brain earlier, when they would've been useful to have. This wasn't about sex for me, not really. Yes, I was half desperate to sleep with them, but the reason I was desperate was because they were in my mind, and gut, and heart, constantly. They were everything to me and I'd left them staring in utter confusion, without any explanation.
I slowed and gasped in deep breaths as a moan slipped from my lips. Not only had I moved too fast, but I'd forgotten the fact that I'd had plenty of time to come to terms with this idea, yet I'd freaked out almost immediately when they hadn't been gung-ho to leap into a polyamorous relationship with me. I moved off the walkway and onto the grass, then bent over and supported myself on my thighs as I tried to calm my racing heart.
"Shit," I muttered, kicking myself for jumping to conclusions because of my own insecurities.
They needed time. They deserved time. So, I would give them time, and answer their questions, and be patient and understanding of their feelings. We were in what felt like uncharted territory. Wolves were possessive and protective, and I was asking them to be okay with sharing me.
I wondered if their closeness would help or hinder the situation.
I needed to go back to Chase's room and apologize but, first, I needed to find my balance, so I could remain calm and focused, instead of a huge mess of emotion and stress.
I sank down onto the grass at the base of the tree, glancing around to see if anyone had taken interest in my meltdown and was staring, but no one was watching. Everyone had their own lives to live, their own dramas to endure, and their own mental health crises to work through.
I crossed my legs and wiggled my ass against the earth to settle my bones just like Dr. Bennett had taught me. My eyelids fluttered shut, separating me from the world, and letting me focus on my internal reality.
The reality of my internal life was that I was often a mess, but I was working on that and, really, that was all anyone could ask.
My pulse settled and the queasiness in my stomach calmed as I worked my way through my usual meditation, imagining my breath as a light of positivity, working its way through my system, pushing out the darkness and negative thoughts. After ten minutes or so, I exhaled, opened my eyes, and climbed to my feet, ready to head back into the fray.
I slapped at the back of my neck, annoyed by the bug that had caused the sharp prick, but missed the annoying little bloodsucker.
"Ow," I complained, as the small prick of pain grew and intensified until my entire neck throbbed and my head grew fuzzy and light. "What the fuck?"
I rubbed my neck as the world began to spin.
I turned slowly as if in a dream, wondering if maybe it had been one of those murder hornets or maybe a tracker jacker, like in The Hunger Games. Why else would I feel so—?
I didn't get the chance to finish the thought before the world started to go dark and my legs trembled and gave out beneath me. Before I hit the ground, though, strong hands caught me.
I smiled sleepily and turned to see which one of my guys had caught me, then opened my mouth in a silent scream as I stared into a face from my nightmares before the oily darkness swallowed me whole.
Chapter 20
I was trapped, under water, fighting to find my way back to the surface, which moved closer than receded every time I nearly broke free.
My chest was heavy, as if someone sat on it. My lungs struggled to fill enough to wash away the dregs of confusion and lethargy from being oxygen deprived.
Shadows lived beneath the surface, watching me, brushing up against me with their dark claws that grated like knives against my mind. My nightmares came to life, and I knew they weren't real because they'd been with me all my life, but there was something more to these. Terror gripped me in a vice and wouldn't let go.
You're stupid and worthless. I don't know why I keep you alive.
Voices echoed in my mind, dredging up memories I'd fought to move past. Inside the shadows, they were clear, and loud, and pressed down on me, pushing me farther beneath the water.
No, I thought furiously. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm not there, in the dark, anymore. You can't hurt me!
The chuckle made my stomach clench violently.
Oh, but I can. Who's going to stop me? You?
I shrank into the corner of my mind, throwing my arms up around my head to protect myself from the blows that didn't come. More laughter echoed around me, then drifted away like smoke as my unconscious mind floated towards the surface.
Panic filled me as I reached for that surface once more and found myself sinking. Summoning every ounce of strength and resilience in me, I pushed forward and broke through the veil into a horrible reality.
Something hard pushed against my stomach, shoving against what little food I’d eaten and sending it up and out my throat.
I heaved, pushing up onto my hands and knees shakily as I emptied my stomach onto the floor, then collapsed a
s my muscles seized painfully. I bit back a moan and focused on getting enough air into my lungs so that I could think straight.
Where am I? What happened? I had plenty of questions but no answers. Why does my neck hurt so bad?
I moved my hand to my neck and touched my fingers to the sensitive skin there, which was raised at the center of the pain, as if I'd been stung. The words tracker jacker and murder hornet flashed back, followed by the sickening memory of a face I'd recognized from my past.
My stomach spasmed again but there was nothing left to come up.
I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling of a room I didn't recognize as hot tears filled my eyes and familiar resignation tightened my chest.
I'd convinced myself I was seeing things the other night and, now that I thought back, all the other times I'd felt that skitter of nerves and fear up my spine. But I hadn't been seeing things or making things up. The danger was real and had finally tracked me down.
Except, it wasn't Raphael. It was his son, my half-brother, Randall.
The voices in my head changed, becoming younger, more boyish, but still hateful and manipulative. Of all the boys raised in the mountain stronghold, Randall had been my personal villain.
He was three years older than me, born to Cassandra, a pretty young wolf who'd been a dear friend to my mother and me. Her daughters had been some of my best friends. But, of course, boys weren't allowed to be raised by the women kept in captivity. No, Raphael made sure they were taken immediately and raised in his image, with his interests at heart, and his despotic goals as their sole purpose in life.
Raphael was dead, killed by Katherine when she, Daphne, and Rose, along with their mates, had infiltrated the mountain and freed us. Some of the boys had died there, during the attack, and many were taken into custody but, obviously, at least one had gotten away.
And was out for revenge.
Why me? I wanted to scream the question but was afraid to make any noise and alert my captor that I was awake.
Randall had always been a son of a bitch and, for some reason, he'd always had it out for me. Of all the girls he’d tormented, I had been his favorite, his obsession. It made a strange, twisted sense that he would come after me of all people. But why? Was there a purpose behind this, or did he just feel compelled to find and torture me like he had in the good old days?
At the sound of approaching footsteps, I realized that I would soon know the answer, even if part of me really didn't want it.
Spite and determination got me through the agonizing process of sitting up, so he wouldn't find me sprawled across the floor, next to my own stomach contents as he had more than once. That was in another life, though, I reminded myself as my muscles screamed. I was stronger now. I'd survive this just like I'd survived everything else.
I squeezed my hands tight, pressing the tips of my nails into my palms so hard that it drew blood. The small pain focused me, helping me keep my eyes open and trained on the door as it swung open, and Randall strode through.
"So, you're awake. I might have mixed up the dose just a little, or maybe a lot." He shrugged and grinned, then said in a fake professional voice, "Side effects may include brain fog, muscle soreness, vomiting, anal leakage, or death."
The amusement in his eyes went cold and dark. "Please contact your nearest healthcare provider if you experience any of the above symptoms."
He sank down into a crouch, his eyes narrowed and lips firm as he glared with utter disgust at me.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop my body from shivering as a lifetime of violent memories rolled back like a tidal wave and threatened to break my mind. Randall's lips curved in a sneer.
"Still weak, I see," he hissed, pushing to his feet to look down at me. "Fortunately, I don't need you in one piece to get what I want."
I clenched my teeth. I couldn't stop my body from shaking but I'd be damned if I would let my fear silence my voice.
"And what the fuck do you want, you psychopathic asshole?" I shouted, tilting my chin into the air to stare straight up at him in defiance.
His eyebrows shot up in surprise and, for a moment, I thought I saw something in his eyes, something like pride, then it was gone, and rage contorted his handsome face, turning him back into the monster I remembered.
He chuckled, and the sound of it echoed through my mind, just like in the nightmare. Then, faster than I could blink, he reached down, grabbed the front of my shirt to drag me up, and drove his fist into my face.
Chapter 21
I was dragged out of oblivion by a sharp kick to the ribs and a bucket of water in the face.
"Get up!" Randall shouted as he threw the bucket at my face.
"Mother fucker," I said between gritted teeth that now felt a little loose after the epic punch he'd delivered following my newfound attempt to be brave and sassy. I rolled to my stomach and rose up on my knees slowly, then rubbed my jaw which I was happy to discover wasn't broken. I'd forgotten how hard he could punch when aggravated, but it was all coming back to me now.
I caught my breath once more and lifted my head to look up at him. He hadn't changed at all. He still wore his hair short and severe, and he still had that cocky bastard smile that clearly said he loved the process of giving pain to others. I'd wondered many times if that was the only way he could get off. Fortunately for my ribs, I'd never had the balls to ask him.
Fraternization hadn't been allowed, since our imprisonment was for the purpose of creating a child that would fulfill some ancient prophecy, or so I was told. Raphael wouldn't have reacted kindly to his baby mamas being soiled. Besides, most of the men in the mountain had been birthed by the women there and raised by the king psychopath. We were all related by blood, although I knew that didn't matter to some.
"What do you want?" I asked, spitting blood onto the floor next to me. Gathering my strength, I gripped the nearest piece of furniture, an old dresser, and pulled myself to my feet.
I wasn't sure if I could stay up, then my legs locked, and my head slowly cleared.
"Why aren't you dead or in prison?" I braced for another strike.
Randall's laugh was cold and bitter. "Maybe because I'm smarter than your little friends. Come on, now, Alexis," he said, using my real name. "Aren't you glad to see your brother alive?"
I swallowed back the retort that leapt to my tongue, knowing it would end in me on the floor, covered in blood, and there was little point in antagonizing him if I wanted to get out of this alive. I had to be smart.
Back in the mountain, I'd been under Raphael's protection. The possibility that I could have been the one to give birth to the prophesied child had kept me and all the other girls alive. We weren't in the mountain anymore, though, and Raphael really was dead. It was strange to think of him as my salvation when he was the mad mind behind all of this.
There was a new mad mind now, I supposed, eyeing Randall warily.
"Why are you here?" I asked, digging my nails into the wood of the dresser.
"Why are you here?" he echoed. "Are you seriously trying to fit in with the other freshmen as if you aren't a worthless scrap of flesh?"
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t been the girl from the prophecy. I knew that and he knew that. Without that potential, I was worthless to him.
Unless I wasn't.
"If I'm so worthless, then why did you go through all this trouble? Why follow me around and kidnap me? You could be on a beach somewhere, enjoying the sun, but instead you came to Beta Wolf Academy. There must be something worthwhile about me or you wouldn't be here." I held my breath and braced.
But the blow never came. Instead, Randall tilted his head to the side and studied me. "I'm not sure if I like this new version of you or if I want to cut out your tongue to shut you up." He tapped his lips and smiled as my eyes went wide. "But you're right. You aren't worthless. You just don't need to be in one piece to be useful to me."
He turned his back and strode across the room to grab something I hadn'
t noticed on a table next to the door.
I took the momentary reprieve to suck in as much oxygen as possible and calm my racing mind. He was obviously enacting some plan, which meant that I was already three steps behind. I wouldn't stay alive for long if I didn't think through my actions and words first.
Keep him talking, that was what all the crime scene investigation shows advocated. The more he talked, the more I could understand his motivations and actions. I wasn't sure if that would help, but it sure as hell couldn't hurt. I wished Shemar Moore was here.
I looked around the room, taking in the details of my new prison. I was in a house, a vacant one by the thick layer of dust on the furniture. It was nighttime now and, I hoped, still the same day. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out, but it had been shortly after 7:00 p.m. when he'd grabbed me.
The sky outside was still pitch black, which meant I'd only been unconscious less than ten hours. That was well within the first forty-eight hours. Unless it was actually the following night. Even then, I wasn't past that critical time period. Someone could still find me. Thankfully, I had three very invested someones who were probably frantic right now.
Unless they thought I needed space or were pissed off at my suggestion. Then, I was screwed.
"You don't need to do this." My voice cracked as desperation colored it. "Randall, look at me. I know you've never liked me, but I'm your sister. Raphael is dead. You don't need to do what he says anymore. You can think for yourself now."
I hated to plead with him, but my life was worth the shame.
Randall turned slowly, dropping his hand by his side so I couldn't see what he’d picked up. His smile was lazy and so self-satisfied that the spit dried in my mouth. My knees began to tremble so violently, I sank to the floor so I wouldn't collapse.
He shrugged. "You're right. I can think for myself now. Which is why I've decided to do something about my situation." He strode towards me, grabbing the chair as he went, and flipped it backwards so he could straddle it and looked down at me. "See, when that bitch, Katherine LaFlamme, and her little friends, took the mountain and killed Raphael, they stole everything from me. I had a good life, food, shelter, and a purpose. They stole all of that."
