by Robin Hobb
It was only on the trip home that his father seemed to recall he had an elder son. In a sense, it was his own fault. He heard the mate bark an incomprehensible order at two of the men. In trying to step quickly out of their way, he blundered backwards into the path of a third man he had not even seen. They both went down, Wintrow hard enough to knock the wind out of his lungs. In a moment the hand had sprung back to his feet and dashed on to his duties. Wintrow stood up more slowly, rubbing an elbow and gradually remembering how to breathe. When he finally managed to straighten up, he found himself face to face with his father.
‘Look at you,’ his father growled, and in some puzzlement Wintrow glanced down at himself, wondering if he had dirt on his clothes. His father gave him a light shove on the shoulder.
‘I don’t mean your priest’s robes, I mean you. Look at you! A man’s years and a boy’s body, and the wits of a landsman. You can’t even get out of your own way, let alone another man’s. Here. Torg. Here! Take him and put him to doing something so he’s out of the way at least.’
Torg was the second mate. He was a brawny man if not tall, with short blond hair and pale grey eyes. His eyebrows were white; it struck Wintrow that his face looked bald, it was composed of so many pale things. Torg’s notion of keeping him out of the way was to put him below, coiling lines and hanging chains in the chain locker. The coils that were already there looked just fine to Wintrow, but Torg gruffly told him to coil them up tidy, and not be slack about it. It sounded easier than it was to do, for once disturbed, the coils tangled themselves alarmingly, and seemed reluctant to lay flat again. The thick, coarse ropes soon reddened his hands and the coils were much heavier than he had expected them to be. The close air of the chain locker and the lack of any light save a lantern’s combined to make him feel queasy. Nevertheless, he kept at it for what seemed like hours. Finally it was Malta who was sent to find him, telling him with some asperity that they were dockside and tied up, if he’d care to come ashore now. It took every fragment of self-control he had to remind himself that he should behave as a future priest of Sa, not an annoyed elder brother.
Silently he set down the coil of rope he’d been working on. Every piece of rope he’d touched look less, not more orderly than when he’d began. Well, Torg could recoil them as he wished, or push the task off on some poor sailor. Wintrow had known it was busy work from the start, though why his father had wished to humiliate and irritate him, he could not fathom. Perhaps it had something to do with his refusal to push in the peg that quickened the ship. His father had said some wild words then. Well, it was over now. His grandfather was dead and consigned to the sea, the family had made plain they wished no comfort from him, and he would go home as soon as he decently could. Tomorrow morning, he decided, would not be too soon.
He went up on deck and joined his family as they thanked and bid farewell to those mourners who had accompanied them on board the ship. Not a few said their goodbyes to the living figurehead as well. The summer dusk was venturing into true night as the last person left. The family stood a bit longer, silent and exhausted, while Kyle gave orders to the mate for the unloading to proceed at earliest daybreak. Then Kyle came to tell the family it was time to go home. Kyle took his mother’s arm, and Wintrow his grandmother’s. He was silently grateful that there would be a coach awaiting them; he was not sure the old woman could have managed the uphill walk through the dark cobbled streets.
But as they turned to leave the foredeck, the figurehead spoke up suddenly. ‘Are you going?’ she asked anxiously. ‘Right now?’
‘I’ll be back at first light,’ Kyle told her. He spoke as if a deckhand had questioned his judgement.
‘Are all of you going?’ the ship asked again. Wintrow was not sure what he responded to. Perhaps it was the note of panic in her voice.
‘You’ll be all right,’ he told her gently. ‘You’re safe, tied up to the docks here. There’s nothing to fear.’
‘I don’t want to be alone.’ The complaint was a child’s, but the voice was that of an uncertain young woman. ‘Where’s Althea? Why isn’t she here? She wouldn’t leave me all alone.’
‘The mate will sleep aboard, as will half the crew. You won’t be alone,’ Kyle replied testily. Wintrow could remember that tone from his own childhood. His heart went out to the ship despite his better judgement.
‘It’s not the same!’ she cried out, even as he heard himself offer, ‘I could stay aboard if she wished it. For this night, at least.’
His father scowled as if he had countermanded his order, but his grandmother squeezed his arm gently and gave him a smile. ‘Blood will tell,’ she said softly.
‘The boy can’t stay,’ Kyle announced. ‘I need to speak to him tonight.’
‘Tonight?’ Keffria asked incredulously. ‘Oh, Kyle, not tonight. Not anything more tonight. We are all too weary and full of sorrow.’
‘I had thought we might all sit down together tonight, and discuss the future,’ his father pointed out ponderously. ‘Weary and sorrowful we may be, but tomorrow will not wait.’
‘Whether tomorrow will wait or not, I shall,’ his grandmother cut across the argument. There was a shadow of imperiousness in her voice, and for a moment, he recalled more vividly the woman he had known as a child. Even as his father drew breath to speak, she added, ‘And if Wintrow would sleep aboard and give comfort to Vivacia as best he can, I would take it as a personal favour.’ She turned to the figurehead and added, ‘I shall need him to escort me to the coach first, though. Will you be all right alone, for just a few moments, Vivacia?’
He had been vaguely aware of how anxiously the ship had been following their conversation. Now a beaming smile broke out over the carved features. ‘I am certain I shall be just fine, Ronica. Just fine.’ She shifted her glance to Wintrow, her gaze diving into his eyes so deeply that it startled him. ‘When you come back on board, would you sleep up here, on the foredeck, where I can see you?’
He glanced uncertainly at his father. They seemed to be the only two aware that he had not yet given his permission for this. Wintrow decided to be diplomatic. ‘If my father permits it,’ he concurred cautiously. He still had to look up to his father to meet his eyes, but he forced himself to do it and not to look away.
His father scowled still but Wintrow thought he also saw grudging respect in the man’s eyes. ‘I permit it,’ he said at last, making it clear to everyone that he regarded this decision as his. He looked his son up and down. ‘When you come on board, report to Torg. He’ll see you get a blanket.’ Kyle glanced from the boy to the waiting second mate, who nodded to the order.
His mother sighed out, as if she had been holding her breath. ‘Well, if that’s settled, then let’s go home.’ Her voice broke unexpectedly on that last word, and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. ‘Oh, my father,’ she said softly, as if rebuking the dead man. Kyle patted her hand where it rested on his arm and escorted her from the ship. Wintrow followed more slowly with his grandmother. His younger siblings scrambled impatiently past them and hurried ahead to the carriage.
His grandmother moved so slowly, he thought she was excessively weary until she began speaking. Then he realized she had deliberately delayed to have a moment of privacy with him. Her voice was lowered, pitched for his ears alone.
‘It all seemed strange and foreign to you earlier today, Wintrow. Yet just now, you spoke as a Vestrit, and I believe I saw your grandfather in your face. The ship reaches for you.’
‘Grandmother, I fear I have no idea what you are talking about,’ he confessed quietly.
‘Don’t you?’ She halted their slow stroll and he turned to face her. Small but straight, she looked up into his face. ‘You say you don’t, but I see otherwise,’ she said after a moment. ‘If you did not already know it yourself, in your heart, you could not have spoken up for the ship the way you did. You’ll come to it, Wintrow. You’ll come round to it in time, no fear.’
He felt a tightening of foreboding. He wishe
d he were going home with them tonight, and that he could sit down with his father and mother and speak plainly. Obviously they had discussed him. He did not know what they had been talking about, but he felt threatened by it. Then he sternly reminded himself to avoid prejudgement. His grandmother said no more and he assisted her down the gangplank and then handed her up into the waiting carriage. All the others were already within.
‘Thank you, Wintrow,’ she told him gravely, and ‘You’re welcome,’ he replied, but uncomfortably, for he suspected she thanked him for more than walking her to the carriage. He wondered briefly whether he would truly welcome giving her whatever it was she assumed. He stood alone as the driver chupped to his horses and drove them off, their hooves thudding hollowly on the wooden planks of the docks. After they had gone, he lingered for a time, seeking the quiet of the night.
In truth, it was not quiet at all. Neither Bingtown proper nor the docks ever truly slept. Across the curve of the harbour, he could see the lights and hear the distant sounds of the night market. A trick of the wind brought him a brief gust of music: pipes and wrist-bells. A wedding, perhaps, with dancing. Closer to hand, the tarry torches bracketed to the dock supports provided widely-spaced circles of fitful light. The waves sloshed rhythmically against the pilings beneath the docks, and the tethered boats rubbed and creaked in their slips. They were like great wooden animals, he thought, and then a shiver walked up his spine as he recalled the liveship’s awareness. Neither animal nor wooden ship, he realized, but some unholy mix and wondered how he could have volunteered to spend the night aboard her.
As he walked down the docks to where Vivacia was tied, the dancing torchlight and moving water combined to confuse his vision and make every step uncertain. By the time he reached the ship, the weariness of the day had caught up with him.
‘Oh, there you are!’
He startled at the ship’s greeting, then recovered. ‘I told you I would come back,’ he reminded her. It seemed strange to stand on the docks and look up at her. The torchlight moved strangely over her, for though her features were human, the light reflected from her skin as it did from wood. From this vantage, it was markedly more obvious that she was substantially larger than life. Her ample bared breasts were more obvious from this point of view as well. Wintrow found himself avoiding looking at them, and thus uncomfortable about meeting her eyes as well. A wooden ship, he tried to remind himself. She’s a wooden ship. But in the gloom as she smiled down on him, she seemed more like a young woman leaning alluringly from a window. It was ridiculous.
‘Aren’t you coming aboard?’ she asked him, smiling.
‘Of course,’ he replied. ‘I’ll be with you in a moment.’
As he mounted the gangplank, and then groped his way forward on the darkened deck, he again wondered at himself. Liveships, so far as he knew, were unique to Bingtown. His instruction as a priest of Sa had never touched upon them. Yet there were certain magics he had been warned of as running counter to the holiness of all life. He ran through them in his head; the magics that deprived something of life in order to bring life to something else, the magics that deprived something of life in order to enhance one’s own power, the magics that brought misery to another’s life in order to enhance one’s own or another’s life… None of them seemed to apply exactly to whatever it was that wakened life in a liveship. His grandfather would have died whether the ship existed or not. He decided that one could not say his grandfather had been deprived of life in order to quicken the ship. At about the time he resolved that, he stumbled over a coil of rope. In trying to catch himself, his feet tangled in the hem of his brown novice’s robe and he fell, sprawling full length on the deck.
Somewhere, someone brayed out a laugh. Perhaps it was not at him. Perhaps somewhere on the shadowed deck, sailors kept watch together and told amusing stories to pass the time. Perhaps. His face still flushed, and he suppressed anger at the possible ridicule. Foolishness, he told himself. Foolish to be angered if a man was dull-witted enough to find his stumbling humorous, and even more foolish to be angry when he could not be certain that was the case at all. It had simply been too long a day. He got carefully to his feet and groped his way to the foredeck.
A single coarse blanket had been left in a heap there. It smelt of whoever had used it last, and was either badly woven or stiffened in spots with filth. He let it drop back to the deck. For a moment he considered making do with it; the summer night was not that cold, he might not need a blanket at all. Let the insult go by; he’d not be dealing with any of them after tomorrow. Then he stooped to snatch the blanket up from the deck. This was not the misfortune of an early fall of hail or a flooding river, a happenstance of nature to be weathered stoically. This was the cruelty of men, and a priest of Sa was not expected silently to accept it, regardless of whether that cruelty was inflicted on himself or on others.
He squared his shoulders. He knew how they saw him. The captain’s son, a boy, a runt, sent off to live in a monastery, to be raised to believe in goodness and kindness. He knew there were many who saw that as a weakness, who saw the priests and priestesses of Sa as sexless ninnies who spent their lives wandering about prating that the world could be a beautiful, peaceful place. Wintrow had seen the other side of a priest’s life. He had tended priests brought back to the monastery, priests maimed by the cruelty they had fought against, or dying of the plagues they had contracted when they nursed other victims. A clear voice and a steady eye, he counselled himself. He draped the offending blanket over one arm and picked his way carefully towards the afterdeck where a single night-lantern was burning.
Three men sat in the circle of dim light, a scatter of gaming pegs on the deck. Wintrow smelled the harsh edge of cheap spirits, and frowned to himself. The tiny flame of outrage inside him flared brighter. As if possessed by his grandfather’s anma, he stepped boldly into the circle of their lantern. Throwing the blanket to the deck, he asked bluntly, ‘And when did the night watch on board this ship begin drinking on duty?’
There was a general recoil from his direction until the three saw who had spoken.
‘It’s the boy-priest,’ one sneered, and sank back down into his sprawl.
Again the flash of anger ignited in him. ‘It’s also Wintrow Haven of Vestrit lineage, and on board this ship, the watch neither drinks nor games. The watch watches!’
All three men lumbered to their feet. They towered over him and all were brawnier, with the hard muscles of grown men. One had the grace to look shamed, but the other two were the worse for drink and unrepentant.
‘Watches what?’ a black-bearded fellow demanded insolently. ‘Watches while Kyle takes over the old man’s ship, and replaces her crew with his cronies? Watches while all the years we worked, and worked damned loyal, go over the side and mean naught?’
The second man took up the first’s litany. ‘Shall we watch while a Haven steals the ship that should be run by a Vestrit? Althea might be a snotty little vixen, but she’s Vestrit to the bone. Should be her that has this ship, woman or no.’
A thousand possible replies raced through Wintrow’s mind. He chose as he thought best. ‘None of that has anything to do with drinking on watch. It’s a poor way to honour Ephron Vestrit’s memory.’
The last statement seemed to have more effect on them than anything else he had said. The shame-faced man stepped forwards. ‘I’m the one that’s been assigned the watch, and I ain’t been drinking. They was just keeping me company and talking.’
Wintrow could think of nothing to say to that, so he only nodded gravely. Then his eyes fell on the discarded blanket and he recalled his original mission. ‘Where’s the second mate? Torg?’
The black-bearded man gave a snort of disdain. ‘He’s too busy moving his gear into Althea’s cabin to pay attention to anything else.’
Wintrow gave a short nod to that and let it pass without comment. He did not address any particular man as he added to the night, ‘I do not think I should have been able to
board Vivacia unchallenged, even in our home port.’
The watchman looked at him oddly. ‘The ship’s quickened now. She’d be swift to sing out if any stranger tried to board her.’
‘Are you sure she knows she is to do that if a stranger comes aboard?’
The incredulous look on the watchman’s face grew. ‘How could she not know? What Captain Vestrit and his father and his grandmother knew of shipboard life, she knows.’ He looked aside and shook his head slightly as he added, ‘I thought all Vestrits would know that about a liveship.’
‘Thank you,’ Wintrow said, ignoring the last bit of the man’s comment. ‘I’ll be seeking Torg now. Carry on.’
He stooped and swept up the discarded blanket. He walked carefully as he left the dim circle of light, letting his eyes adjust to the deepening darkness. He found the door to Althea’s cabin standing ajar, light spilling out onto the deck. Those of her boxes that had not already been carted off were stacked unceremoniously to one side. The mate was engaged in judiciously arranging his own possessions.
Wintrow rapped loudly on the opened door, and tried not to take pleasure in the way Torg started almost guiltily.
‘What?’ the man demanded, rounding on him.
‘My father said to see you to get a blanket,’ Wintrow stated quietly.
‘Looks to me like you’ve got one,’ Torg observed. He could not quite hide the glint of his amusement. ‘Or does the priest-boy think it’s not good enough for him?’
Wintrow let the offending blanket drop to the deck. ‘This won’t do,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s filthy. I’ve no objection to worn, or patched, but no man should willingly endure filth.’
