by Robin Hobb
He opened his arms to welcome her in. He had not slept without her, but had waited for her here. Despite how long the day had been, despite how weary and sorrowful she was, that gladdened her. Keffria felt as if Kyle’s touch cut through knots of pain that had been strangling her for days. For a time he simply held her close. He stroked her hair and rubbed her neck until she relaxed in his arms. Then he made love to her, simply and gently, without words as moonlight spilled into their bedroom from the high windows. This summer night’s moon was bright enough to lend almost colours to all it touched; the cream-coloured sheets on the bed, Kyle’s hair like ivory, his skin two shades of dull gold where sun had and had not touched it. Afterwards, as she curved her body against his and rested her head on his shoulder, all was silence for a time. She listened to the beating of his heart, and the movement of air through his chest and was glad of it, and of his warmth.
Then she suddenly felt selfish and thoughtless, that she could possess all this and enjoy it, on the very night of the day when her mother lost her father, and with him all possibility of physical closeness and this kind of sharing. Lax and warm from their lovemaking, it suddenly seemed too terrible a loss to exist in any world. She did not move away from Kyle, but closer as her throat closed painfully and a single hot tear slid across her cheek to drip onto his bare shoulder. He reached up to touch it, and then her face.
‘Don’t,’ he told her gently. ‘Don’t. There have been enough tears today, and enough mourning. Let it all go, for now. Don’t let there be anything or anyone in this bed save we two.’
She caught a breath. ‘I’ll try. But my mother’s loss… I just truly realized what she lost. All this.’ Her free hand charted the length of him, from shoulder to thigh, before he caught it up and brought it to his mouth for a kiss.
‘I know. I thought of that too, as I was touching you. Wondered if there would be a time I didn’t come back to you, what you would do…’
‘Don’t even speak such an idea!’ she begged him. She put her palm to his jaw and turned his face to hers in the moonlight. ‘I still don’t know that it was right,’ she suddenly declared in an altered tone. ‘I know we talked about it, that we all agreed it would be for the best, that it would protect everyone. But the look on her face when I put my hand on the peg… and then the way she just stormed off. I never would have believed Althea would do that, just leave the funeral that way. I thought she loved him more than that…’
‘Umh.’ Kyle considered. ‘I hadn’t expected it either. I thought she loved the ship more than that, if not her father. I expected a real battle with her, and was just as glad when she gave in easily. I was sure the whole funeral ceremony would be one bitter scene after another with her. At least she spared us that. Though I confess I’m uneasy as to where she is right now. A girl should be at home on the night of her father’s death, not out gallivanting around a wild port like Bingtown.’ He paused, then added almost cautiously, ‘You know I can’t let her get away with it. She has to be rebuked; someone has to take a hand with her before she ruins herself entirely.’
‘Papa always said that Althea ran best under a light hand,’ Keffria ventured. ‘That she had to have room to make her own mistakes, as it seemed they were the only things she could learn from.’
Kyle gave a snort of disgust. ‘Forgive me, my love, but I think he said it to excuse himself from taking a father’s stand with her. She’s spoiled. She’s been indulged for as long as I’ve known her, and it shows. She constantly assumes she’s going to get her own way. It’s made her selfish and thoughtless of others. But it’s not too late for her. Finding out that was more of a shock to me than you can imagine. On the way home, when I lost my temper and ordered her into her cabin for the remainder of the voyage, I never dreamed she’d heed me. I was angry and barked out the words to get her out of my sight before I could really lose my temper with her. But she obeyed me. And I think she finally had time to do a lot of thinking in that time alone. You saw how she was when we landed. Quiet and repentant. She dressed like a lady when we left the ship, or as closely as she knows how to.’
He paused for a moment. He shook his head, tangling his blond hair against the pillow. ‘I was amazed. I kept waiting for her to try to start up the quarrel again. And then I realized, this was what she has been looking for all along. Someone to draw a line. Someone to finally take charge of her and make her behave as she knows she should. All this time, I think she was just seeing how far she could go before someone took in her sails and dropped anchor.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I respected your father. You know I did. But when it came to Althea, he was… blind. He never forbade her anything, never really told her “no” and enforced it. When I stepped in and did that, well, the difference was amazing. Of course, when she got off the ship and I was no longer in charge, then she started to get a bit wild again.’ He shrugged. For a time there was silence as he and Keffria considered her sister and her strange ways.
Kyle took a deep breath and sighed it out heavily. ‘I used to think there was no hope for her. That she’d only bring us sorrow and come to a bad end herself. But today, when she finally saw all of us united in what was best for the family, she didn’t truly oppose us. Deep inside, she knows what is right. The ship must be worked for the good of the whole family. You are eldest: it’s only right and just that you inherit the family’s real wealth. Besides, you’ve children to provide for, and the ship will let us do that. Who has Althea to provide for? Why, only herself, and I think we can trust ourselves to see that she doesn’t go hungry or naked or roofless. But if the situation were reversed and the ship had been given over to her, she would have sailed the Vivacia out of the harbour without a backwards glance, and like as not she’d have that ne’er do well Brashen as the captain on her.’
He stretched slightly, but not enough to dislodge her. His arm came around her, held her close. ‘No, Keffria, I don’t think you need to question that what we did today was for the best. We know we’ll provide for Althea, and get your mother out of her financial tangle as well. Could you say for certain that Althea would take care of your mother, let alone us and our children? I think that toward the end even your father saw the wisdom of bequeathing the ship to you, hard as he found it to hurt his little favourite’s feelings.’
Keffria heaved a sigh and settled closer against him. Every word he said made sense. That was one of the reasons she had married him; his ability to think things through so carefully and logically had made her feel so safe. That was one thing she had been certain of when she wed; that she did not want to live her life tied to a man as impulsive and fanciful as her father had been. She had seen what it had done to her mother, how it had aged her far beyond her years. Other Trader matrons lived sedate lives of ease, tending their rose gardens and grand-babies, while her own mother had each day arisen to face a man’s load of decisions and work. It was not just the accounts and the laborious working out of agreements with fellow Traders. Often as not her mother had been out on the fields on horseback, checking for herself that what her overseers said was true.
Ever since Keffria could remember, she had hated the season of the mafe harvest. When she was tiny, all she had known was that it meant her mother was already gone when she awakened, and that she might see her for an hour before bedtime, or not at all that day. As she grew older, there had been a few years when her mother had insistently dragged her along to the hot fields and the long rows of prickly dark green bushes heavy with ripening beans. She had forced her to learn how the beans were harvested, what the pests that plagued them looked like, and which diseased bushes must be pulled up immediately and burned and which must be painstakingly doused with a strong tea made from leaf mould and horse manure. Keffria had hated it. As soon as she was old enough to be concerned with her hair and skin, she had rebelled and refused to be tormented any longer. That, she recalled, was the same year that she resolved she would never marry a man who would go to sea and leave her with such burdens. She would find a man
willing to fulfil a man’s role, to take care of her and keep her safe and defend their door from all troubles and worries. ‘And then I went and married a sailor,’ she said aloud. The fondness in her voice made it a compliment.
‘Um?’ The sleepy question came from deep within his chest. She set a hand on its paleness in the moonlight, enjoyed the contrast of her olive skin against his whiteness.
‘I just wish you weren’t gone so much,’ she said softly. ‘Now that Papa is dead, you’re the man of our family. If you’re not around…’
‘I know,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ve thought of that, I’ve worried about that. Why else do you think I must insist I take Wintrow on the ship with me? It’s time he stepped forward as a man of this family, and took on his share of the responsibilities.’
‘But… his priesthood,’ Keffria objected in a tiny voice. It was very hard for her to disagree with her husband, but in this one area, he had always before let her have her way. She could scarcely grasp that he might change his mind now.
‘You know I never approved of that nonsense,’ he said quietly as if in answer to her thought. ‘Offering our first-born son to the service of Sa… that’s a fine thing for the rich folk of Jamaillia to do. Shows off their wealth, that they can offer up the labour of a son and think nothing of it. That’s not the case with us, dear. But I knew you wanted it, and I tried to let you have it. We sent the boy off to the monastery. And if your father had lived for another handful of years, they could have kept him. But he didn’t. Selden’s too young to sail. The plain and simple truth of it is that this family needs Wintrow a lot more than some monastery in Jamaillia. Sa provides, you always say. Well, look at it this way. He provided us with a son, thirteen years ago. And now we need him.’
‘But we promised him,’ she said in a small voice. Inside her was a sort of agony. It had meant so much to her that Wintrow was a priest, offered up to Sa. Not all boys who were offered were accepted. Some were returned to their parents with the thanks of the monastery, but a polite letter explaining their sons were not truly suitable for the priesthood. Wintrow had not been returned. No, he had been cherished from the very beginning, advancing swiftly to his novice’s brown robe, transferred from the outlying monastery at Kall to Kelpiton monastery on the Marrow peninsula. The priests did not often send reports, but those she had received had been glowing. She kept them, tied with the gilt ribbons that had originally bound them, in the corner of her clothing chest.
‘You promised him,’ Kyle pointed out. ‘Not I. Here. Let me up.’ He disentangled himself from her arms and bedding to rise. His body was like carved ivory in the moonlight. He groped at the foot of the bed for his night robe and then dragged it on over his head.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked quietly. She knew her comment had displeased him, but he had never left her bed to sleep elsewhere before.
He knew her so well. As if sensing her worry, he reached down to smooth her hair back from her face. ‘I’ll be back. I’m just going to go check Althea’s room, and see if she’s in yet.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t believe her foolishness. I hope she doesn’t make a spectacle of herself in Bingtown tonight. When she has a few drinks, she’s capable of saying almost anything. Scandal is the last thing we need right now. The family must be seen as stable and united until we get these financial problems under control. Any wild talk from Althea, and we could find our creditors panicking, thinking they should get what they can out of us while we’ve got it. Ah, well. We’ve had enough worries and grief for tonight. Try to go to sleep. I’ll be back in a few moments either way.’
For a long moment, Brashen feared she was going to refuse his offer of escort. Althea wove slightly on her feet as she blearily appraised him. He returned her gaze evenly. Sa, she was a sight! Her hair had come loose and sprawled across her brow and shoulders. Her face was smeared with the day’s dust and her own tears. Only her dress marked her as a woman of quality, and its dishevelled condition made it look like someone else’s cast-off. Right now, he thought sourly, she looked more like a doxie looking for a tumble than the proud daughter of a Bingtown Trader family. If she attempted to walk home alone, anything might befall her in the wildness of the night market.
But in another moment she sighed loudly. ‘Aye,’ she said, and with another heavy sigh she took his offered arm. She leaned on him heavily, and he was glad he had jettisoned his sea-bag earlier in the day. The tavern keep holding it for him knew him well, and he had parted with several small coins to ensure its safety. He did not like to think of how much more coin he had spent following her from tavern to tavern. More than he had meant to, true, but not as much as he would have ordinarily spent on a night out on the town. He was still almost sober, he reflected. This had been the most depressing first night back in home port that he had ever spent. Well, it was nearly over. All he had to do was get her safely home, and then the few hours between the stars and dawn would be his to spend as he wished.
He looked up and down the street. It was ill-lit with widely spaced torches and all but deserted at this hour. Those who were still capable of drinking were within the taverns, and everyone else in this quarter would be passed out somewhere. Nevertheless, there would be a few rogues who’d lurk down this way, hoping for a drunken sailor’s last coin. He’d be wise to go carefully, especially with Althea in tow.
‘This way,’ he told her and attempted to lead her at a brisk pace, but she almost immediately stumbled. ‘Are you that drunk?’ he asked her in annoyance before he could curb his tongue.
‘Yes,’ she admitted with a small belch. She stooped so abruptly that he thought she was going to fold up on the boardwalk. Instead she tore off first one and then another heeled and ribboned shoe. ‘And these damned things don’t help a bit.’ She stood and flung them both out into the dark street. Straightening, she turned back to him and took his arm firmly. ‘Now let’s go.’
She made her way much better barefoot, he had to admit. He grinned at himself in the darkness. Even after all the years of doing for himself, there was still some of the strait-laced Trell in him. He’d felt a shudder of horror at the impropriety of a Trader’s daughter going barefoot through the town. Well, given the rest of her condition, he doubted it would be the first thing anyone noticed. Not that he intended to troll her through the market as she was; he’d keep to the less-travelled streets and hope they met no one who could recognize them in the darkness. That much he owed to the memory of Ephron Vestrit.
But as they came to an intersection, she tugged at his arm and tried to turn toward the bright streets of the night market. ‘I’m hungry,’ she announced, and she sounded both surprised and annoyed, as if it were his fault.
‘Too bad. I’m broke,’ he lied succinctly and tried to draw her away.
She stared at him suspiciously. ‘You drank all your pay that fast? Sa’s ass, man, I knew you were a sot in port, but I didn’t think even you could go through coin that fast.’
‘I spent it on whores,’ he embellished irritably.
She appraised him in the flickering torchlight. ‘Yes. You would,’ she confirmed to herself. She shook her head. ‘Nothing you wouldn’t do, is there, Brashen Trell?’
‘Not much,’ he agreed coldly, resolute on ending the conversation. Once more he tugged at her arm but she still resisted.
‘Lots of places there will give me credit. Come on. I’ll buy for you, too.’ She had gone from judgemental to effusive in one breath.
He decided on a direct tack. ‘Althea. You’re drunk and a mess. You’re in no condition to be seen in any public place. Come on. I’m taking you home.’
The resistance went out of her and he led her docilely along the semi-dark street. They were in an area of smaller shops here, some of an unsavoury nature, others incapable of paying the high rent of a night market location. Dim lanterns shone outside those that were still open for business: tattoo parlours, incense and drug shops, and those that sated the more unusual cravings of the flesh. He was glad that
trade was paltry tonight. Just when he thought that the night’s trials were over for him, Althea drew a long shuddering breath. He realized she was weeping, all but silently.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked her wearily.
‘Now that my father’s dead, no one will ever be proud of me again.’ She shook her head blindly, and then blotted her eyes on her sleeve. Her voice was choked when she spoke. ‘With him, it was what I could do. With all of them, it’s how I look, or what others think of me.’
‘You’ve had too much to drink,’ he said quietly. He had meant the words to sound comforting, to mean that such things would only bother her when she was drunk and her defences were down. Instead they came out sounding like another condemnation. But she only bowed her head to it and followed him docilely, so he let it be. He was certainly having no luck at making her feel better, and honestly he was not sure that he wanted to make her feel better, or had any responsibility to do so. So her family had condemned her. Could she speak to him and forget how completely cast out from his kin he was? Only a few weeks ago, she had thrown that in his face. It wasn’t fair of her to expect sympathy now that the tables were turned.
They had walked some way in silence when she spoke again. ‘Brashen,’ she said quietly in a serious voice. ‘I’m going to get my ship back.’
He made a noncommittal noise. There was no sense in telling her he believed there was absolutely no chance of that.
‘Did you hear what I said?’ she demanded.
‘Yes. I heard you.’
‘Well. Aren’t you going to say anything?’
He gave a short, bitter laugh. ‘When you get your ship back, I expect to be first mate again.’
‘Done,’ she replied grandiosely.
Brashen snorted. ‘If I knew it were that easy, I’d have demanded to be captain.’
