“I love you so much little girl, and so does your daddy. He just doesn’t understand how these people work. I’m going to fix this, and I will save him just for you. I promise you. I will send him to come and get you. I know you love him, and you miss him, and you deserve a good daddy. He will be the best daddy ever to you. I’m sorry I brought you into this mess; but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“No, Cricket. Why are you talking to her like you’ll never see her again?” Chyna cried.
I hugged Babe tight and kissed her forehead. I looked into her big brown eyes, and then I handed her to Chyna.
“Take care of her for me. He’ll come and get her, I promise.”
“Cricket!”
I stood up and walked back to the garage. I passed a now crying Cinnamon and went straight for Michael. I picked him up, and he hugged me tightly.
“I can’t come with you guys, and I’m sorry. But I need you to take care of the girls for me. You are the man of the house and you know what you have to do. Be a good boy for me. You know I love you; right?”
He nodded, big tears in his eyes.
“Don’t cry. You have to be strong for them. You’re a big boy now; remember?”
He nodded and gave me a kiss on my cheek. I sat him down and told him to go buckle up. I walked over to Cinnamon. She was a mess. I smiled and pulled her into a hug.
“I need another favor from you. Take care of them. Please stay with them as long as you can. I know you want and need your own life, but I’d just feel better if you were with them.”
“Cricket, you guys are the only family I’ve ever had. I ain’t going anywhere. I will keep them safe until you come back. Then, you’re in charge again.”
“Now, you and I both know, we’ve never been in charge.”
We looked over at Michael and laughed. We all knew who was in charge. I gave Cinnamon another tight hug, and Chyna came out with her medicine bag and Babe. I pulled Babe out of her arms and put her in her car seat. Michael put one of her little hands into his, and she held on to him. I bent down and kissed her on both cheeks, and then I took a big whiff of her. I pulled back, but Babe had a fist full of my hair. I tried to take her hand away, but she started screaming. I tried three different times, and all she did was wail.
I asked Chyna to go and get the kitchen scissors and a small rubber band. We cut a big chunk of my hair and braided it up as best as we could. We tied four small rubber bands around the ends, and then put the hair into Babe’s hand. I kissed her forehead again. She whined a little, but she held on to the hair. I shut the door and Chyna wrapped her arms around me.
“I’m sorry I fucked everything up in Seattle,” she said.
“I’m glad you found me again. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Cric-kat.”
She got into the car and buckled up. The garage door opened, and they pulled out and drove away. I closed the garage door, walked back into the house and collapsed on the kitchen floor.
Chapter 12
Back to the Pits of HELL
I stepped down into the limo; Walt shut the door for me. I turned to face all three occupants. Troy was sitting on the seat next to me, Trey sat on the long seat across from Troy, and a new bodyguard sat next to him. Troy clearly had some work done to his now smooth-as-a-baby’s-bottom face. Trey must have had some work done to his eye, but I couldn’t tell in this lighting. I stared out the window and stayed silent. About an hour later, we pulled up at the Casino. I hated everything about this place. We walked in, and almost every employee stared. The majority of them had sad looks on their faces and then the others just stood there with their mouths wide open. We walked past the cash cage, and Misty stood when she saw me.
We stepped into the elevators and got off at the penthouse. Troy opened the door and I stepped into the suite. The scene looked very familiar with a dozen bodyguards milling around. Jyme stood up when I walked into the room, and I turned my eyes away from him quickly. He looked fine. Troy had kept his promise, and I was thankful. I walked down the steps and stood in the middle of the floor. I knew Troy had some type of punishment for me, and I had an eerie feeling that I would have more than one partner tonight. I only knew two of these bodyguards, and they were all looking at me as if they wanted to get to know me. I took my jacket off, pulled my hair up in a ponytail, and kneeled to the floor.
“Now, that’s a mother fuckin’ solder, right there. Cricket, this is why I love you so much. You are my absolute fuckin’ favorite. They don’t make them like you anymore, girl. I don’t know how you do it, but you do it every time. I mean this big stupid fuckin’ Indian right here doesn’t give a fuck about you, and you came running to be his hero. He tried to take your baby from you…your baby that you put your life on the line for. Then if it wasn’t for this mother fucker right here, you wouldn’t even be here. All this shit is his fuckin’ fault and he hates you; but you love this mother fucker’s dirty drawers. You’re giving your life for this mother fucker, and he can’t stand the sight of you. And they call me a monster. Cricket, I haven’t ever done you that bad. I have never put my hands on you, or fucked you so hard out of hate that you couldn’t walk or shit for three days. This mother fucker did that to you, and you came to give your life for his. Cricket, I love you, but, baby…you a dumb Bitch!!”
I wondered why in God’s name Jyme had told him all of our business like that. I was starting to wonder if the man wasn’t a little mentally challenged. I just kneeled there, not saying anything and watching Troy with no expression on my face.
“Cricket, where do you go when you shut down like this?” he asked.
I just looked at Troy. I said nothing; there was no use.
“I got you a brand new suite, a closet full of clothes and shoes, and a new red convertible BMW.”
“Thank you.”
Troy stepped over to me and handed me a BMW key and a suite key card. I stood from the floor, picking up my jacket.
“Go clean yourself up. I need you in the club tonight.”
“He’s free to go right? That’s what you promised me.”
“He’s free to go. I got what I wanted from him.”
I turned around, headed up the stairs, and went out the door. I looked down at the key; Troy had me up in the penthouse this time, down the hall from him. I slid the key into the door and walked in. I walked out to the balcony, and I looked up at the stars. I went to the very edge of the railing and looked down. I gripped the railing with all my might and then loosened my hands. I slid both shoes off and looked up at the sky one more time. I prayed to God that Jyme would take care of our baby; I prayed he would keep her safe. I prayed he would tell her nice things about me and leave the bad for when she was older and let her decide how she feels about me. I prayed that Chyna wouldn’t feel guilty about her past and that she would be the best mom she could be to Michael. I prayed that Michael would stay just the same and I prayed that Cinnamon would find a great man who would love her unconditionally. I prayed for Chelle and Ayashe, for God to keep them safe. Then, I prayed for myself and asked for God to spare me. I knew I’d never end up in heaven, but I didn’t think I was bad enough for hell either. Maybe He could put me somewhere in between.
I pulled the lounge chair out to the railing and stood on it. I pushed myself up to the edge and balanced there. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for my spiral downwards. I looked up at the sky and the stars one last time. I let everything else go that was going through my head. I spread my arms out wide and thought about Babe’s little face. That made me smile.
Then I took a deep breath. I wasn’t afraid anymore. There was a strange calm in the wind, and I let myself go forward. I heard shouting and then a loud clanking sound, and my body was hitting concrete, but it was too soon to be the ground. I was lying on my back and I hurt all over. Someone was crying near my torso, but I couldn’t make out the voice, and I couldn’t think of anyone here who would be crying for me. I heard a door slam, and then som
eone was screaming my name.
“Cricket, NO…NO GOD, NO!” I looked over toward the railing and tried to crawl to it, but it was no use. Whoever had my torso wasn’t letting me go. I didn’t want to be here anymore and I knew the railings were my only way out.
“Babe, please don’t leave me. Please, Babe,” Jyme sobbed. I froze and didn’t move another inch.
Troy came pummeling out on the balcony with Trey on his heels. Both of them looked at me and then at Jyme holding me around the waist. Troy’s eyes went all over the balcony. He was the smarter of the twins and figured out the scene right away. A few pregnant silences later, Trey got it, too. Troy fell to his knees and pulled my upper body into his lap. He brushed all my stray hairs away and started rubbing my face.
“Leave us,” he shouted at Trey. Trey just stood there for a minute in shock about what almost occurred here. Troy stood to face his brother, and then Trey turned and ran from the room. Troy looked back down, and I couldn’t read his face.
“Cricket, if you ever left me like that,” he pointed at the railing, “I swear to you I would die. Cricket, I need you. I’m my best with you. When you’re here, I feel like I can conquer the world. You were supposed to tell me when it got to be too much.”
I looked up at him. “It’s too much.”
“Okay, I’ll fix it then. Now, I’m going to have to give you a shadow.”
“No, you don’t,” Jyme said.
We both looked down at the man who was holding onto my waist. “I’ll do it.”
I looked back up at Troy. “You promised me.”
“He’s free to go, Cricket. I even offered him a vehicle or a ride in the private jet, but he won’t leave.”
I looked down at Jyme and then back up at Troy,
“Please don’t leave him here with me.”
“Honey, you’ve left me with no choice. I have a casino to run, and he’s the next best person to watch you besides me.”
“Hire someone then.”
“See, here’s the thing…you can manipulate almost anyone that comes across you. And I think he’s broken, and your little tricks won’t work on him.” Troy looked over at Jyme, and then he smiled a little at me. “You know…I think the Big Indian might really be in love with you, Cricket.”
Jyme looked at me then. I turned away.
“Come on. Let’s get you showered and into bed,” Troy said.
“No, I can work,” I said, trying my best to straighten up.
“Not tonight. I love you too much to do you like that, Cricket,” Troy whispered. Then he smiled at me as he helped me up from the concrete.
“I’ll see you later,” he kissed my forehead.
“Do you have to go now?” I asked him.
Troy looked me over once with cautious eyes and he smiled at me. He yanked me close to him, and then he pulled hard at my ponytail so my ear would be right next to his lips.
“You just made my dick hard when you asked me to stay with you. Then I realized you’re a bitch, and you only want me here because you can’t be alone with him. But I will play your little game, Cricket,” he licked the side of my face, and I shivered in disgust. He released me and stepped up to the front door. He turned and looked behind me at Jyme, “Don’t let her out of your fuckin’ sight.” Then, he left.
I crossed my arms and started for the master bedroom. Jyme stopped me by grabbing my arm. He pulled me into his arms and held me there. I knew this wasn’t a safe place for me; I had to get away from him. I tried to pull away, but he just gripped me tighter.
“You were really going to do it, weren’t you? You would leave me and Babe like that? I mean, just like that, Cricket. God, I almost lost you tonight. And if you had succeeded, what was I going to tell her when she asked me?”
“The truth. I expect you to tell her the truth.”
“What’s the truth? Because I don’t know it.”
I stared at him and thought, how fuckin’ stupid can one man be.
“I mean, you came all the way here to kill yourself, Cricket.”
“I’m doing all this for you and Babe!” I screamed at him. I tried to get loose again, but he had that ironclad hold on me.
“I remember making her,” he whispered in my ear.
“No, you don’t! Let me go!”
“Shh. Do you hate me for what I did to you?”
I didn’t answer.
“Are you afraid of me?”
I didn’t answer.
“Cricket, do you love me?”
I tried to get away from him again, but there was no use.
“You want to leave me and little Babe, do you? Cricket? Do you want her to be motherless?!”
“Don’t talk to me like that, Jyme!”
“Shh, don’t leave me, Cricket. Don’t ever leave me like that.”
“You hate me, Jyme. You hurt me so fuckin’ bad I wanted to die. You were all I had, and then God blessed us with Babe. Then he gave me Chyna back and then little Michael. I was so happy. I was truly happy. We had a family. But you didn’t want me anymore because I did things that give me nightmares. I did all of that shit for you, Jyme…all for you. I tried to make a new start for myself, but I had to meet your ass and you put me right back in the same position I was in before. No matter how hard I try to change, it never works. I will be someone’s whore until the day I die!”
“No, Cricket. No, baby.”
“And then you tried to take her away from me; the only thing I’ve ever done right and you wanted to take her away from me. How could you do that to me?” I yelled through tears and was about to go into full blown hysterics.
“Cricket, you kept her from me, too.”
“For her protection, Jyme! I couldn’t risk her being in any danger. She was ours. We made her together. I loved both of you so much, and I never thought I could have this much love for someone, but I will die for her,” I screamed.
“You would die for me too; wouldn’t you, Cricket?”
“Yes!” I snapped back at him, not letting my brain catch up with my tongue. I had just told him what he already knew. I tried to get away from him again, and this time he let me go. I turned away, and my eyes went back toward the balcony.
“You don’t need to do that anymore, Cricket. I’m here now.”
I ran to the master bedroom and locked the door behind me. I went straight to the bathroom and started the shower. There wasn’t a door here for me to lock. I went ahead and stripped down and got into the shower. I cried and cried. I didn’t want Jyme here with me. Why wouldn’t he just go away and leave me alone?
The shower door opened, and I froze. That horrible memory came flooding back. I dropped my soapy towel and backed all the way up against the wall.
“Oh, God. Jyme. Please don’t. Please don’t.”
He stepped into the shower naked and came straight for me. I closed my eyes and started screaming, I wasn’t physically or mentally strong enough to fight Jyme. I just stood there clinging to the wall. What had I done to God? He was the one who truly hated me now. He’s taken everything that’s meant anything to me away. I was all alone now, and here comes more pain. I wished Troy was here. He would help me; he wouldn’t let Jyme hurt me like this. I stood there with my eyes closed waiting for whatever he was about to do to me. But nothing ever happened. I opened my eyes, and Jyme was just standing there naked, looking at me. I slid down to the floor of the shower and sobbed.
Jyme sat down right across from me. I just stared at the floor. He grabbed both of my hands and held them, tracing those invisible circles in them. This always calmed me, and he knew it. He did that so well.
“I’m not going to ever hurt you like that again. I don’t give a damn how much you beg me.”
I couldn’t speak.
“Cricket, let me show you how much I love you, please.”
I looked at him in complete surprise. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out from his lips. I couldn’t form the words to say anything.
“I wo
n’t hurt you ever again. I swear, Cricket. I’d rather die than ever hurt you again.”
I nodded back, and he smiled with curious eyes. I pulled my hand away from his and touched the side of his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Can I touch you?” he asked. He opened his eyes, and I nodded slowly.
He pulled me on top of him, so I could straddle him. We both stared at each other; neither one of us saying a word. He swallowed hard, and I realized he was nervous. I brushed his hair back, and he let his head fall back into the water stream. I starting kissing the side of his neck, and his breathing quickened. I switched sides, and he moaned in my ear.
“I love you,” he whispered softly. I moved up and started kissing the side of his face. He shifted underneath me, and I knew his Anaconda was growing in between us. I reached down and rested my hand on my inner thigh. He was sticking straight up.
“Cricket,” Jyme moaned for me, and that made me feel so good. To be wanted by him again was almost unbearable. I stuck my tongue in his ear, and I made every licking and slurping noise I could possibly think of. I knew this would drive him absolutely crazy.
“Cricket, fuck!” he hissed in my ear and writhed underneath me. I moved over to the other ear and did the same routine over there.
“I want you now, Cricket.”
I pulled back from him, and he gently laid me back on the shower floor. He spread my legs open and he went deep-sea diving headfirst.
“Oh, God that tongue,” I moaned aloud.
He started really showing off after that by doing that electric fan trick he does with his tongue. I lost my every-loving mind.
“Jyme!”
“I know, babe; I know.”
I came on his tongue, and he licked and sucked every drop of me. He made sure I heard every single slurp. He stopped, and I was completely spent. He stood up over me and helped me up. I touched his Anaconda, and he stopped me.
“No, I want to show you something,” he said with a smile. I nodded and stood back.
He held both of my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “Cricket, I’m not going to hurt you.” He made sure I understood what he was telling me. He turned me around, and I faced the wall. He came up behind me, and I froze. His forehead dropped down to my upper back, and he was shaking his head. “Cricket, I swear I won’t hurt you,” his voice echoed into my back.
Wounded Love (G Street Chronicles Presents From Love to Loathe Series) Page 18
