“I don’t suppose there’s any way I can talk you out of going,” I say quietly, slipping my hands into his back pockets and pressing my cheek to his unyielding chest.
Warm lips press to my forehead and linger there. “You know doin’ what’s right is what this club is all about. Can’t have our own military gettin’ by with this kind of shit. Either the AFT has their heads so far up their asses they don’t know about this transaction, or someone is payin’ them off to stay out of it. No matter the reason, it’s up to us to make things right.”
“Yeah, I know,” I grumble, closing my eyes and inhaling the scent I associate with this stunning man. With a start, it dawns on me that this is the closest I’ve come to truly hugging someone since I’ve been released, and I love it. Despite Kandi’s suggestion to give into my feelings, however, it scares the shit out of me. I’m not ready for this.
I pull away. “Is Axel going with you?”
“He’ll be stayin’ back for this one. He’s not used to ridin’ with his new leg.” Rough fingers stroke the line of my jaw. “Remmy doesn’t like Fug ridin’ along for stuff like this since he isn’t quite all there, so I asked him to come over and keep an eye on you. I didn’t tell Fug all the details, but he knows you’re worried that your brother has it out for you. Everyone in the club knows that by now.”
I dip my chin in agreement. Though I should feel some kind of relief knowing my father’s old buddy will be keeping me company, even if he’ll probably be high as a kite by the time he shows up, fear of my brother getting to me refuses to back down.
“Kandi and the girls are meeting up at the clubhouse later,” I say. “He can keep an eye on me there.”
“Your brother needs to get the message that I’m keepin’ an eye on you. We should tell the club that you and me are together.”
Heart hammering, I shake my head. “No fucking way. Remmy would come unglued.”
Colt’s eyebrows lower. “Fuck Remmy. You think he’s gonna stop me from goin’ after what I want?”
“I thought this was about getting a message to my brother.”
“What are you so afraid of?” He reaches out to pull me in close again. “Why can’t you let yourself feel somethin’ for someone again?”
“You know why,” I grumble, lightly pushing him back. “It’s not that easy. You can’t expect me to be able to drop everything I’ve learned in the past three years in a matter of days. Three fucking years, Colt! That’s a part of my life I’ll never get back!”
“You’re right. You won’t. But that’s over now. It happened in the past. You can’t change it, but you can move forward. You have the opportunity to start over and build a new life.”
Large hands cradle my face as the intensity in his expression grows to something aching. “I’d leave the club right this second, and move across the country with you if that’s what it would take for us to be together. I know you’re struggling with what to do next, and I wanna be there to help you figure it out. Tell me what you need, Harley. Tell me what it’s going to take for you to trust again. What it’s going to take for me to win over your heart? What do I need to do for you to love me?”
“You’re pushing too hard,” I answer between clenched teeth, feeling angry all at once. “I don’t have any fucking answers for you. I’m broken, and tired, and don’t know how to process my goddamned feelings. It scares the shit out of me to think I could want you as anything more than a fling.”
“You know this is more than a fling, darlin.’ You’ve come to mean everythin’ to me.” His thumb brushes over my lips. “You’re the only thing I care about anymore. I’d throw my life down if it meant I could save you.”
Oh, shit. His feelings are even deeper than I thought. As a hardcore biker, there’s a chance this is the closest he’ll ever get to saying he loves me. My father was the same way. Always saying he’d move heaven and earth for me, but unable or unwilling to say the three words that would’ve meant the world to hear from his lips.
Though I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear someone tell me such a thing, the words create a new level of fear inside my heart. It’s not only too soon for such a declaration, but it’s too dangerous. I can’t let him mess with my heart.
We stare into each other’s eyes. Tension from the still unspoken words between us stretches in a thin ban across my chest until it feels as if I’ll burst from the inside out. Colt shakes his head slowly. “Keep lookin’ at me like that, darlin,’ and I won’t be able to leave you here,” he tells me in a tight voice.
“Like what?” I ask innocently, though my breath is stolen when I gaze into his gorgeous eyes.
“Like you love me back.”
Wait. What? Time stops along with my heart. Love me back.
I stumble backwards, taking a deep breath so deep it feels as if my lungs will explode. “Don’t say that! This is too fucking much! It’s too soon!”
He charges toward me until my back hits the wall. His arms lock on either side of me. “Some things can’t be stopped, darlin.’ Far as I know, there’s no set time on how long it takes to fall for a person.”
Then he kisses me like it’s the first time our lips have touched. Despite the anger and confusion battling inside me, my tongue dances with his as if the moment was a long time coming. Bodies pressed together, grinding with the rhythm of the kiss, we ravage each other’s mouths, and grope at each other with a painful urgency.
Stripping my jacket from my arms with nimble fingers, Colt slips my tank-top over my head, allowing him to release my breasts from my bra. His frantic lips move down to give equal attention to my nipples before returning to my mouth, kissing me until I swear I’m about to pass out. I try to moan with appreciation even though I can’t catch my breath long enough to make the sound.
“Too… fast,” I pant, one hand braced against him and the other drawing him closer. My body is betraying me at the same rate as my mind, going from acceptance to denial in a dizzying blur. “Colt.”
“Stop fightin’ it, darlin,’” he pleads between soft kisses. “I know you want this every bit as much as I do.” A finger slips between my legs, pressing on the damp material of my jeans. “We both know you love it when I make you come with my mouth.”
Burning with desire, I fumble with his buckle and unbutton his jeans, helping him to slip them over his hips before he kicks them off. His boxer briefs go next as I’m wiggling out of my underwear. We’re a mangled mess of busy limbs and eager mouths as we move back to the couch, wrestling around and around as we take turns in the lead.
Fingers slip between my legs, sinking into my slippery flesh. “So fuckin’ tight,” Colt growls, biting my bottom lip. “You’re the most beautiful woman there ever was, darlin.’”
I hum with the compliment, all at once unable to handle the conflicting range of emotions still swelling through me. “Shut up and fuck me.”
He pins me beneath him, lifting my leg over his shoulder, and positioning his hard cock at my wet opening. “Tell me you want this as much as I do,” he whispers against the skin of my neck. “Tell me I’m not crazy for thinkin’ this thing between us is worth fightin’ for.”
Do I love him? I don’t answer. I can’t. I push the idea of love our of my head as I take his bottom lip between my teeth. “Fuck me, Colt.”
He accepts my non-answer, slamming into me over and over while grunting among hard thrusts. His thumb rubs against my clit, simultaneously coaxing an orgasm from the depths of my belly. It’s hard and fast, filled with passion rather than emotion, the way I like it. I shatter beneath him, feeling the combination of our mental and physical draw to each other blow up inside my stomach with a blissful release.
Colt’s mouth seals over mine as I cry out his name, and release a great whimper. He finishes a minute later, shooting inside of me before pulling out. Twisting to his side, gathers me in his arms.
“Promise you won’t leave,” he whispers, tracing the line of my arm. “Promise you’ll let me love you no ma
tter what happens.”
I close my eyes, desperate not to cry. I’m in no position to make promises. I can’t give my heart to anyone—not even to this beautiful man.
9
There’s an eerie absence of familiarity when I park my Harley beside Fug’s, the only other bike in the club’s lot. Even though I see Kandi’s car parked beside a few others, I feel an unsettling disconnect coiling in my gut knowing Colt, Ranger, and all my father’s buddies are off somewhere in the dark, putting their lives at risk. And I’m raked with guilt the way I left Colt hanging, unable to return his sentiments even though it’s possible we’ll never see each other again.
“There you are, baby girl!” Fug cheers the minute I’m through the club’s doors. He wraps me in his arms, smothering me with the pungent stench of body odor and weed. “Missed seein’ ya the past few days.”
Over his shoulder, I see Kandi, Cheyenne, Lacey, and one of the club whores from the party the other night gathered around a large man at the club bar. When Cheyenne squeals my name and waves, becoming a mass of wiggling blond hair and giant tits, the man turns until his chocolaty eyes land on me.
Logan.
“Fuck,” I whisper to myself, drawing away from Fug. Being locked in with the hot stripper after we got pretty hot and heavy is going to be the worst kind of torture. I could make Fug go back to the apartment with me as Colt had planned, but as his pupils are completely dilated, I’m sure it would be a long night of reminiscing over my father while Fug cries into a case of beer. I’m definitely not up for that. At least my brother is nowhere in sight.
“Get your ass over here, girl,” Kandi hollers. “We’ve been waitin’ on you so we can roll for shots.”
Awesome. Drunk and hanging with her hot brother should make for a great combination.
“C’mon,” I tell Fug, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. “Since you’re my designated babysitter for the night, you can make sure I don’t get shit faced and do something stupid.”
As we join them at the bar, Logan greets me with a bright smile and sparkling eyes. “Harley.” My name rolls of his tongue in the most suggestive of ways, eliciting a slap on the shoulder from his older sister.
“Remember what I told you,” she warns, her eyes flipping between us.
“Yes, ma’am,” Logan answers, passing me a scandalous grin when she’s no longer looking. Rising from the stool he’s perched on, he motions to me. “Have a seat.”
Thick fingers brush across my lower back as I sit, rendering me speechless. It only takes the one, innocent touch to take me back to the sensual lap dance and steamy make out session. It’s going to be an incredibly trying night. How do I make my clit simmer the hell down?
“You ever play horses, Harley?” Cheyenne asks, draping her arm across my shoulder. “First person to shake sets the pace for the round. If you have to roll more than once to beat them, you take a shot for each roll.”
Lacey slaps her hand over a vinyl cup and jiggles it like it’s a cocktail shaker. A set of dice rattles inside until she spills them across the bar top. With the sight of three sixes, an ace, and a three, she claps her hands and jumps up and down. “I’m so going to win this game, bitches!”
“Sucks to be you,” Cheyenne snorts, collecting the dice and throwing them back into the cup. “I, for one, would like to get smashed.”
“It was one little fight,” Kandi tells her in a stern tone. “Thunder isn’t about to leave your hot ass, so you can stop pouting.”
“Fuck ‘im,” Cheyenne answers, shaking the cup. “I’m still plannin’ to get nice and drunk. He can’t stop me from havin’ a good time.” She passes Logan a suggestive wink before throwing the dice on the table.
A deep, rolling laugh rumbles against Logan’s throat right behind me. He stands so close that I can feel the warmth radiating off his body. It sets off ripples of pleasure between my legs.
Cheyenne cheers with the sight of one six and the rest under four. “Hit me up!” she demands, slapping the bar top. Kandi, the only one behind the bar, sets out a line of shot glasses and fills them with Jack Daniels. She hands the last one to Cheyenne, who gulps it down greedily. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” she yells, cheering. She rolls the dice again, and takes another shot before handing them off to me.
“You want to do better than three sixes in one roll,” Logan whispers. His breath is searing against the sensitive skin behind my ear. “Unless you’re looking to have a little fun tonight.”
Choosing to ignore him, I clear my throat and shake the dice, getting the most random array of numbers that don’t count for anything. Kandi slides a shot my way, and I gulp it down without flinching.
“Thatta girl,” Logan whispers. “Took that like a champ.”
I roll again, finally beating the three sixes. I turn to Logan. “You’re up.”
“Damn right I am,” he whispers as he leans over me to collect the dice from the table, attacking me with the scent of sandalwood and a wall of muscles. When his hard cock brushes against my hip, a hiss slips through my teeth. So much for making my clit behave.
Logan rolls four sixes in the first try, and passes the cup along to the club whore. Blood red fingernails wrap around the cup as she holds it out to Logan. “Care to blow on them for me?”
“Blow your own fuckin’ dice, Genna,” Kandi warns. “And keep your diseased ass the hell away from my brother.” The other women laugh as the small brunette makes a growling noise before shaking the dice.
The game seems to go on forever as the dice make more rounds, and dozens of shots are pounded. I’m lucky to end the game only having to roll an extra six or seven times as the rest of the girls polished off the bottle. Before we’re done, Cheynne pukes into a garbage can behind the bar, and passes out beside it. Genna passes out on one of the couches with her legs in Fug’s lap.
“I’m going outside for a smoke,” Kandi announces.
“Me too,” Lacey says, trailing after her.
Suddenly Logan and I are essentially alone. He takes the open stool beside me, shaking his head and laughing. “So this is what club life is like?”
I may not quite be smashed, but the warm glow from a good buzz has helped me to relax with Logan’s relentless flirting. “You act like you’ve never been here before.”
He shrugs. “Your guys would kick my ass if they found me here.”
“I’m sure they’d change their minds if they bothered to get to know you.”
“Why?” He nudges me, grinning. “Do you think I’m alright?”
“You’re decent enough,” I say. “So long as you’re dressed.”
Eyebrows raised in mock offense, he pinches my arm. “You expect me to believe you didn’t like seeing me in a g-string?”
“Stop!” I cry, laughing.
“Because I could’ve sworn when I was up on stage you had that look in your eye.”
Still laughing, I ask, “You mean the look that says get me the fuck outta here?”
Shaking his head, he leans in close until his lips brush across my cheek when he answers. “The one that I get from beautiful women in need of a good fuckin.’”
Desire stirs in my belly, and makes my traitorous clit do a dance. “Kandi wouldn’t like you talking to me that way.”
“I don’t give a shit what she says,” he whispers, moving his lips down to brush against my throat. “She can’t stop me from getting what I want, and I want you.”
All at once I think of Colt. While he’s putting himself in danger, I’m getting wasted and flirting with a hot stripper, not even worrying if he’s okay.
Another excellent reason I’d make a shitty old lady.
Fisting my hair, I move out of Logan’s reach. “I have to go.”
“Go where?” he asks as I slide off the stool. “What’s wrong?”
The booze has hit me harder than I realized. Everything moves in slow motion as I find my way down the hallway to the bathroom. I knock on the closed door, though it seems my knuck
les aren’t moving the way I want, and my hand simply flops against the wooden door. It seems like too much effort to try again.
“I need to lay down,” I mutter, floating along to the next open doorway to the spare bedroom in which I took many naps as a child. I make my way over to the unmade bed and lay down.
Several minutes later there’s a large figure standing in the doorway. “Harley, you okay?” a deep voice asks.
“I suck at this,” I say in a wavering voice.
The bed buckles with Logan’s added weight. “At what?” he asks with a chuckle. “Drinking?”
“No, life.”
With another chuckle, he lays down on his side to face me, and rests his hand on my hip. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not really. I just need to… I dunno. Fix myself. Learn how to feel again.”
“I can help you with that,” he offers in a low voice. He drags the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, sending a wave of shivers rippling through me. I close my eyes as his hand traces the curve of my neck, down around my shoulder and past my breast. The feel of his thumb brushing across my nipple releases a sigh from my lips. “I can make you feel things you haven’t felt before.”
By the time his hand finds its way to the sweet spot between my legs, our mouths meet, and our tongues and lips dance together in what becomes a fairly epic kiss. My drunken thoughts ping between Colt and Logan until my head is spinning with confusion, and lust, and a handful of other emotions I can’t seem to process.
As Logan stops to pull my shirt over my head, I close my eyes, and give in to the dark wave dragging me under, hoping I don’t sink from deception.
*
When I wake to the sound of knocking and someone calling my name, the warm glow of dawn brings the details of the club bedroom’s ceiling to life. I start with the feel of a warm, hard body stirring against me, and realize we’re both completely naked.
The night comes back to me in distorted pieces. It seems I blacked out around the time Logan and I started kissing.
Pleasure & Pain: Inferno Glory MC Page 6
