We rode along a wooded trail, and the deeper we got into the trees the more my worries faded away. It was peaceful, and I felt tranquilized by the woodsy smell of redwoods and sharp bay leaves mingling with the musky animal scent of the horses. The steady pace lulled me into a state of torpor, and I was feeling perfectly contented when Ethan pulled to a stop in a little clearing.
He slid off the horse in one fluid motion, looping the reins over a low hanging branch. He helped me down and tied my horse as well, finally encasing me in a warm embrace.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“You were right,” I acknowledged, “It is kinda fun. But why are we stopping here?” My horse turned its head and blew a giant raspberry as if to ask the same question. Ethan’s eyes met mine and we laughed.
He took me by the hand, gesturing with his head for me to follow him down a narrow path. I could just make out the faint sound of flowing water, and we emerged from the brush to come upon a rocky creek bed with crystal clear water running over the rocks.
“I know this place,” I said.
The big boulders alongside the water were familiar, as was the path on the opposite side. Ethan had brought me here a couple of times, only not on horseback. The last time we were here we’d pledged to stay together forever, and I smiled at his romantic gesture.
“This is my favorite spot,” he said.
“How did you find it?” I asked, wondering what this place meant to him.
He led me to a smooth rock and sat me down, telling me that when he was a kid he used to ride his bike up here when he wanted to be alone.
“Being here always made me feel better,” he explained.
“When your mom left?” I prodded gently.
I’d been trying to draw him out about it for a while, but he always changed the subject, deftly sidestepping any attempt I made to find out more. He always acted like it was no big deal, but whenever I brought it up it was pretty clear that I was treading on forbidden ground. I of all people could understand his reluctance to talk about it, having a secretive side myself. Still, it was frustrating, knowing that he was keeping a part of himself hidden away from me. I couldn’t help but wonder what that part was really like.
“Just whenever I wanted to be alone,” he said lightly, looking around, “Now, I’d call it the happiest place on earth.”
“I thought that was supposed to be Disneyland,” I said, elbowing him gently.
He smiled at me affectionately, and got up to kneel alongside me.
“Ethan?” I was confused, watching as he reached in his pocket for a small box, presenting it to me.
“I love you,” he said, opening it, “Will you marry me?”
I looked down to see a large diamond sparkling as it caught the light. It looked to be well over a carat, flanked on the band by two aquamarines flashing blue and green. I was shocked speechless when I looked back up at his earnest face.
I finally managed to sputter out, “What did you do?”
I don’t think it was the reaction he was expecting.
“I got you an engagement ring.”
“But… but… this must have cost a fortune,” I gasped.
His eager eyes met mine, “Don’t you like it? I had it made especially for you.”
I took a deep breath, “Ethan it’s beautiful… but it’s too much…”
“I wanted you to have a nice one,” he said.
“What were you thinking? You need to pay off the land… And what about building your house?”
“Our house,” he said firmly, “And it can wait.”
“What on earth made you think I needed something so… so…” I stopped myself.
“I want everyone to know that I’m serious…”
“Who’s everyone?” I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew who he meant.
“Evie doesn’t think you should be with me… And when your dad comes back I want–”
“So you got it to impress Evie? And my dad?”
“No!” he sounded hurt, and his face fell in disappointment. I felt terrible.
“Ethan…”
“I want them to know I can take care of you.”
“We can take care of each other.”
“I wanted you to have it when you told them.”
“I already told Evie,” I said, “In Paris.”
He looked surprised, “What did she say?”
I paused, not wanting to hurt him anymore, “It doesn’t matter what Evie thinks. The only thing that matters is me and you.”
He stumbled over his words, “What… what if your dad feels the same way Evie does? I mean, it’s like, I… I want them to know that I’ll do my best to be good enough for you…”
I took his hand and pulled him up to sit beside me. I slipped my arm around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder, “You’re perfect for me, and my dad is not Evie. He’s going to love you.”
He looked doubtful.
“Ethan, it’s just…” I groped for the words, afraid to say anything else, knowing how touchy he could be when it came to money. I’d already hurt his feelings. We sat there awkwardly for a moment.
And suddenly I understood what had been going on, “OH MY GOD! So this is why you’ve been working like a dog!”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. A massive wave of relief washed over me when I realized that it wasn’t my muse powers that had been making him crazy, it was his own insecurity. I suppose my situation was partly to blame for that, but this was a problem I could fix by staying around. I wasn’t going to have to leave him to save him from himself. I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him soundly.
“That’s more like it,” he gasped when we came up for air.
“I thought…” I shook my head with relief, wiping my eyes, “I thought you were working like a maniac all the time because of me.”
He smiled wryly, “I kinda was.”
“You know what I mean…” My voice lowered to a whisper, “You scared me so bad.”
“Why?” he asked, puzzled.
“Because if it was me making you that way, if it was my fault– I couldn’t watch you going through the rest of your life like that. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
He was disturbed, “What’s wrong with working hard for what you want?”
I looked at him reproachfully, “You fell asleep on me the other night.”
He chuckled, pulling me close and nuzzling my ear, “I’m sorry. Did you have plans for me?”
I looked down, mortified. My face was burning.
“Aww…” he teased me.
I stiffened up, unable to find any humor in the situation. I felt like he’d rejected me all over again, and I turned away from him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Why do you even want to marry me?” I said angrily.
“Marina,” his tone was placating, and it upset me even more. I stood up and faced him.
“Were you planning on marrying Amber too?”
He stood up indignantly, looking down at me with narrowed eyes, “How can you even say that?”
“I know you two were serious… I know you were… well… you know…”
“Oh really,” he said sarcastically, “What makes you think that?”
“I can just tell.”
I turned around, unable to look at him. I knew I was acting like a jealous fool, but I couldn’t help it. I heard him softly chuckling again, and I whirled around furiously.
He was standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his handsome head at me, “You’re wrong,” he said, “We never even got that far.”
“And I’m supposed to believe that?” I snapped, echoing his own words.
“For your information,” he said dryly, “She was the first girl I really liked. I liked her a lot. A whole lot. But her father didn’t want her to have anything to do with me. He told her that my mother was a no-good whore, and that I was never going to amount to anything–”
<
br /> I gasped, shocked speechless.
He went on, “He made her swear not to get too serious– he even made her wear a promise ring to remind her. I didn’t care– I was willing to wait for her. I thought she was gonna go against him, but it turned out she was just stringing me along.”
I was frozen to the spot. “I’m sorry,” I managed to whisper.
He smiled ruefully, “I’m not.”
He took my hand and led me back over to sit down, sliding onto the rock alongside me and holding up the ring box. “I got this for you because I love you and I want everyone to know it… Will you at least try it on?”
I nodded yes, speechless once again.
He took the ring from the box, taking my hand and slipping it onto my ring finger. It fit perfectly. He looked at me anxiously, searching my eyes for approval.
I burst into tears, sobbing, “I love you.”
He took my face in his hands, and this time we kissed with a new intensity. I’d already signed the contract– it was permanently etched onto my heart. Now there wasn’t the shadow of a doubt in my mind. Overwhelmed, I laid my head on his chest, emotionally spent. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
“Ethan… Promise me you’ll stop working all the time.”
“I’ll try,” he said, “But you didn’t answer me.”
I wiped my eyes again, “What?”
“I’ll only try… if you say yes.”
“I think I already did,” I said, going in for another kiss.
CHAPTER TWENTYONE
REVELATION
I woke up in my cheery little room, a big smile on my face. I raised my left hand and watched the engagement ring scatter rainbow prisms of sunlight all around the aqua blue walls. It was a beautiful thing, and even Evie would have to give her approval. I loved what it symbolized, but I hated the idea that Ethan got it because he felt like he needed to demonstrate something. Disturbing as his insecurity was, his focus and determination was impressive. Once he set his mind on a goal, he was unstoppable.
I was surprised, relieved and then inordinately pleased to learn that Amber and Ethan had never gotten very serious in their relationship. All this time I’d considered her a dangerous rival, a seductress whose appearance back on the scene threatened to lure him away from me. I’d been torturing myself, imagining their torrid love affair and feeling terribly self-conscious and inexperienced by comparison.
I’d blown everything completely out of proportion, and I laughed out loud at my stupidity. Ethan wasn’t the only one consumed by insecurity. I was finally starting to believe that our union was truly meant to be, for we obviously had more than one lesson we could learn together.
I thought of my father, and was tempted to call Afghanistan to announce the good news to him. Ethan was adamant that I wait, insisting that we tell him about our plans to marry in person when he got back to the states. He wanted a chance to make his case, to explain why we were mature enough to make the commitment, and to see how my father would react. To me, Ethan had always seemed overly concerned with getting my father’s approval, but now I could better understand why.
He didn’t need to worry; Dad always said that you should judge a person by their actions– not by what they said or anything they might have. Ethan had already proven by his deeds that he was serious. Like my father, Ethan worked hard for everything he wanted, stubbornly refusing to take the easy way out. I knew Dad would think we were too young to marry, and no doubt try and talk us into waiting, but my father would never judge Ethan by something that his mother did or didn’t do.
I wondered exactly what kind of woman would abandon both her husband and son, and could only arrive at the unpleasant conclusion that Ethan’s mother wasn’t a very nice person. She had obviously hurt him badly, and the more I got to know him the more clear it became. The wounds on his psyche were wide open, covered over with a band-aid where stitches were required.
I brought the ring to my lips. Evie had been lavishing expensive gifts on me my whole life, but nothing could compare to the sheer amount of sacrifice that went into Ethan’s heartfelt offering. I wondered what I had to offer in return. I was determined to make it even somehow, to work equally hard to be a good partner, and to help make his dreams of a tranquil future come true. I wished I could magically erase all the hurts of his past and give him the security he so obviously craved.
There was just one problem.
In trying to avoid confrontation I’d been deceptive, keeping my meetings with mermaids secret; holding back things I knew about them and myself. Sometimes I felt as though I was being torn in two, forced to lead a double life by circumstances beyond my control. I refused to give up my mermaid sisters, and a part of me resented Ethan for even wanting me to. I was conflicted, for another part of me knew that I couldn’t be happy– or even stay fully human, without him. I wanted to go on having it both ways, but the two sides always seemed to be trying to make me choose.
When I was with Ethan, I was absolutely certain it was exactly where I belonged… But late at night, when the rumbling surf called out to me, I was powerless to refuse it. The rhythmic beat of the waves crashing on the earth were made virtually irresistible by the addition of moonlight, and like any good addict, I was full of justifications for my behavior.
I sat up and stretched, dislodging Charlie, who protested vociferously. He rolled on his back, twisting his head invitingly and offering me his belly to rub. I petted him absentmindedly, closing my eyes and straining to listen for the pulse of the sea. When my phone rang I startled, picking it up to see that it was Evie calling– she must have just gotten back to the city. I hesitated, and put the phone back down; I didn’t want to talk to her today. This was a surfing day, and I’d deal with her when Olivia was gone.
I could tell there was good surf, for the ocean was sending me irresistible waves of energy that vibrated up my spine, beckoning me out to the water. Cruz and Brad were due to pick me up in an hour for what promised to be a fun day, and even the looming specter of Olivia’s visit wasn’t going to ruin my good mood. I got up to dress, putting my hair into a ponytail and smiling back at the happy-looking girl in the mirror. When things with Ethan were settled, I felt invincible.
I was sipping my coffee when Abby burst into the kitchen like a ray of sunshine. For a heavily pregnant woman, she was surprisingly light on her feet.
“Good morning sweetie-pie,” she smiled brilliantly, once again reminding me of my mermaid sister, “You sure look like one happy camper today!”
I smiled back at her, for she was right as usual. Abby and Lorelei both had a genius for experiencing joy and spreading it around. When they were happy, which was most of the time, their smiles infected you like a highly contagious virus. Neither one of them had an ironic or cynical bone in their body.
“I bet you’re looking forward to seeing Cruz.”
“I am,” she said, sliding into the chair next to mine, “I understand he’s bringing a friend for me to meet.”
“Uh, yeah, Brad,” I said casually. “He seems like a good guy.” I wasn’t sure how much she knew about Brad and Cruz’s relationship.
“Do you think they’d stay for breakfast? I can make something…” she seemed unexpectedly nervous.
I jumped in, “I’m sure they’ll have already eaten.” I imagined how Cruz would cringe if Abby tried to serve one of her healthy concoctions to Brad. “Because,” I added diplomatically, “We’re going to be surfing all day.”
Abby got up and started bustling around nervously, straightening the fruit basket on the countertop and fussing unnecessarily with the flowers on the table.
The sound of the door opening made her jump, and I followed along behind her to see an equally anxious looking Cruz in the doorway, Brad standing behind him.
“Hi mom,” Cruz said, embracing Abby, “Wow! You’re huge.”
“Cruz!” I scolded him. “Hi Brad,” I waved. Abby just smiled and patted her stomach.
“Uhm… Mom, this is my friend, Brad.” Cruz gestured behind him awkwardly.
Abby stepped around Cruz, “It’s nice to meet you,” she shook his outstretched hand with both of hers, “Please call me Abby. Can I get you some coffee… or tea… or anything?”
“We have to get going,” Cruz blurted out.
“I’d love a cup of coffee,” Brad smiled at Abby, following her into the kitchen.
Cruz squeezed my arm in a death grip as we trailed behind them. Brad asked Abby questions about how far along she was, inquiring as to the baby’s due date, and asking if she’d settled on any names. Abby chattered away happily while she fixed him a cup.
“Cruz?” Abby held up the pot, “Can I get you one?
“OK,” he sat down next to me, fiddling with his piercings, unusually quiet.
Before we knew it, Brad and Abby were talking and laughing like old friends, and Cruz watched them with a strange combination of surprise and relief. He looked at me and shrugged, and I couldn’t resist flashing him my best “I told you so” grin.
“How do you know so much about pregnancy?” Abby asked Brad.
“I just finished decorating a nursery for a good friend of mine,” he replied, “She’s in her third trimester with twins!” he added excitedly. He went on to discuss ultrasounds, baby monitors and the relative merits of gliding versus traditional rocking chairs in detail; before we knew it the two of them were walking down the hallway to see the nursery Abby had set up in Cruz’s old room.
Cruz pressed his forehead on the kitchen table, “Unbelievable.”
I laughed at him, “What did you expect? Everybody loves your mom… And your mom loves everybody.”
When they came back in the kitchen, Brad and Abby were chatting about their common love of yoga, and comparing notes about the different styles they practiced. She gave him some tips on breathing exercises to pass on to his pregnant friend, and launched into a description of the intricacies of her pre-natal yoga class in detail.
“Please kill me now,” Cruz muttered under his breath, and even I grew tired of watching him fidget uncomfortably.
03 The Fate Of The Muse - Marina's Tales Page 22
