by Sarah Morgan
She felt helpless, and she hated feeling helpless.
Stewart removed a feather that had sneaked out from the cushion. “Maybe I am worried, but there’s nothing we can do about it. They’re not kids, Suzanne, they’re adults. It’s not our job to fix things for them. It’s our job to support them, no matter what.”
“Beth and Hannah both came home early. That isn’t normal. What if there’s something they want to talk through?”
“Then they’d sit down with us and talk. They know they can. They’ve always known that, honey.”
It wasn’t enough for Suzanne. “If Beth wanted to talk, she’d talk to you.”
“And I’ve given her the opportunity. We’ve had breakfast a few times. Took a walk together yesterday. She didn’t mention anything.”
“She came home without luggage. She never travels without luggage, which means she must have walked out. I don’t believe that nonsense about the airline losing her cases. Are she and Jason acting normal? Did they have a fight, do you think?”
Stewart sat down on the chair and shook his head. “I don’t know. And even if they did, it doesn’t mean it was anything serious. They’re both here now and they’re sleeping in the same room and laughing together. Beth is constantly fiddling with her hair and makeup, which seems pretty normal to me. That’s all I can tell you.”
Suzanne reached for her robe. “Why are you making the cranberry sauce? Beth could do that.”
“She’s a little preoccupied with this job. That damn woman always seems to call in the middle of mealtimes. If you ask me, she’s more likely to be the problem than their marriage.”
“Corinna? I don’t like the idea of Beth working for her again.”
“Me neither, but it’s not our business.” Stewart sounded tired. “It’s her decision.”
“Maybe, but I’m telling you it’s a mistake.”
“If it is, then it’s her mistake and we have to let her make it.”
And that was one of the hardest things about parenting, standing by and watching your child make a mistake. She wanted to jump in and save them from it. She wanted to protect them from every hurt.
“It was easier when they were little.” Suzanne slid her arms into her robe and stood up carefully.
Stewart crossed the room in a flash and put his arm round her.
“Steady. I don’t want you collapsing.”
She smiled up at him. “Because you love me.”
“There’s that, but also I have no idea how to get blood out of a carpet.”
“Oh, you—” She punched his arm and lost her balance in the process. She would have fallen if he hadn’t caught her against him.
“You are the most stubborn, infuriating—”
“I think the words you’re missing are beautiful, talented, intelligent—”
He kissed her. “That, too. Get back into bed. Take another day to rest.”
There was a soft knocking on the door and Stewart waited until Suzanne had sat back down on the bed before crossing the room to open it.
Melly and Ruby stood there.
“We made cards for Grandma,” Melly said. “To help her get better.”
Ruby thrust them into his hand, showering glitter over the carpet.
The girls looked so adorable, Ruby with her riot of curls and Melly with her hair neatly caught in bunches.
“Are you having fun?” Suzanne slid back under the covers. “Have you been riding Socks?”
“Every day. Is there a job that’s riding horses? I might want to do that when I’m bigger.” Ruby ran across the room to her, evading Stewart’s attempt to catch her. “Will you get up soon and play with me?”
“I will. Very soon. Definitely tomorrow.”
“Good.”
Ruby climbed onto the bed, and Suzanne forced herself to shift away. “I don’t want to give this bug to you, honey.”
“If you give it to me, then you won’t have it anymore.” Ruby patted her leg. “I don’t mind having it for a while.”
The things they said made her laugh constantly, just as they had when Hannah, Beth and Posy were young.
Suzanne resisted the temptation to hug her tightly. “Go back to your sister, honey. And thank you for the cards. They’re beautiful, and just looking at them is going to make me feel better.”
“I used extra glitter.”
Suzanne eyed her sparkling carpet. “I see that. Lucky me.”
Beth appeared in the doorway. “Ruby!” She sounded exasperated. “I told you not to bother Grandma. Sorry, Mom. Did she wake you?”
“No. I wasn’t asleep, and she’s not bothering me. In fact, I’m feeling a lot better.” Suzanne watched as Stewart carefully put the cards on display. He might not be good at straightening beds or making tea, but he understood the importance of displaying his grandchildren’s artwork.
“If you need anything, call.” Beth grabbed Ruby and scooped her up. “Let’s go and play.”
They closed the door and Stewart looked at the glitter on the floor.
“I like it. I think it should stay.”
“You mean you have no idea how to remove glitter from a carpet.”
“That, too. You have to admit, it’s festive.” He glanced at his watch. “Is there anything else you need? I’m due at the Adventure Centre in an hour. I could bring you another cup of tea.”
“No! It’s fine.” She certainly didn’t want more tea. She hadn’t figured out how to deal with the one she already had. “Maggie is popping round later to see me. If I need something, she’ll fetch it. Thank you for everything. You would have made a wonderful nurse.”
“I’ve always thought my legs would look good in the uniform.”
She smiled. “I’m so glad I married you.”
“Of course you are. I’m irresistible. You couldn’t resist my practiced seduction.” Stewart swaggered across the room, ruining the effect by tripping over one of her slippers.
She rolled her eyes. “You have a terrible memory. I was the one who seduced you.”
“Not true.”
“You were moving too slowly for me, Stewart McBride.”
“That’s not how I remember it. I was like a rampant stallion.”
“A ram—” She laughed until she started to cough.
Stewart handed her a glass of water. “That’s your punishment for denigrating my manhood.”
“I’m not denigrating your manhood. I’m just saying I was the one who seduced you.” She took a sip of water. “Before you go, tell me about Hannah.”
Stewart tugged his sweater off and turned it the right way round. “What about her?”
“Does she seem happy?”
“She’s spent a lot of time in her room, but that’s not unusual. She has a big job, Suzy. We should be proud of her.”
“I am proud of her, of course I am. But I’m also worried that she shuts people out. That she doesn’t trust them.” Suzanne adjusted her pillows. “If you get the chance, would you talk to her?”
He found his shoes. “Yes, but you know Hannah doesn’t open up easily. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to her.”
“Nothing. Don’t worry. I’ll be back on my feet tomorrow and I’ll talk to her then.”
If she wanted to know what was going on with her family, she was going to have to find out for herself.
18
Hannah
Hannah put the finishing touches to the document and emailed it to the office.
She needed to have a conversation with the team, but the signal had been especially bad for the past couple of days. She hadn’t spoken to Angie in almost a week.
Her hand hovered over the keyboard, and then she quickly tapped on the tab saying Our People and brought up Adam’s biography and photo.
She knew she needed to talk
to him, but she had no idea what to say.
She missed their talks, his smile, his sharp mind and his sense of humor.
She missed him.
“Hannah? Hannah!”
The door flew open and Hannah flipped her laptop shut. She wasn’t used to people bursting into her room, but that was one of the penalties of being at home. Privacy was in short supply.
“What?”
Beth stood there, clutching a towel round her, her hair tumbling loose around her bare shoulders. “Did you use all the hot water?”
Hannah was transported back to childhood when Beth would take up residence in the bathroom and then follow her round the house, trying to do her makeup.
“I took a shower, if that’s what you mean.”
“Next time, don’t spend so long in there. The water is freezing.”
“Fine, but while we’re on the topic of personal habits, can you not leave your makeup lying around everywhere. It’s as if someone has ransacked a beauty department.”
Beth walked out and then turned and came back again, this time walking into the center of the room. “Are you okay?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. You were quiet at dinner last night and you’re spending a lot of time in your room. I hope it’s not the kids. Are they too loud?” Beth glanced at Hannah’s laptop. “Who is that guy?”
“What guy?”
“The hot guy on your computer screen that you’re hiding from me. Actor?”
“A colleague. We work for the same company.” She kept her hand on the lid, but of course that didn’t stop Beth because this was her family and privacy and respecting personal space wasn’t something that happened in the family home.
Beth pushed Hannah’s hand away and opened the laptop. “Wow. Not sure I could concentrate in a meeting if he was in the room. Is he married?”
“No.” Hannah closed the laptop again, but instead of leaving, Beth hovered.
“Can I ask you something?”
Hannah hoped this wasn’t going to be the usual interrogation about her love life. She really wasn’t equipped to handle those questions right now. “What?”
“Would you watch the girls for an hour? I want to spend some time alone with Jason. They’re watching TV downstairs in the den, so they shouldn’t be any bother.”
The last thing she needed right now was to watch the children. Having Melly and Ruby around the house made the whole baby thing a little too real. “I’m pretty busy, Beth.”
Her sister’s jaw lifted. “They’re your nieces. I would have thought you’d be pleased to spend time with them.”
“I have work to do. Have you asked Posy?”
“I can’t find her. I think she’s outside with the sheep or something. Please, Hannah. I need some time with Jason.”
It was much easier to say no on the phone than it was in person. “Leave the door open and tell them to call me if they need anything.”
“It isn’t enough to listen. You need to check on them. With Ruby, silence isn’t always good. It often means she’s climbing something, and she doesn’t usually bother checking whether it’s fixed to the ground.”
Memories flashed through Hannah’s brain like a movie on fast-forward. “I’ll check on them.”
“Thanks. We’ll only be an hour.” Beth vanished and Hannah turned back to her laptop, but she couldn’t focus on the numbers on the screen.
Another email arrived, this time indicating that Angie needed to speak to her urgently.
With a sigh, she reached for her phone, but there was no signal.
The only way to speak to Angie was to trudge outside in the cold and the snow to make the call.
She grabbed her coat and an extra sweater and left her room.
She paused as she walked past the bedroom Suzanne shared with Stewart. Should she knock on the door and see if there was anything she needed?
If she did that, Suzanne would want to talk and Hannah wasn’t ready to have the conversation she knew she needed to have.
Telling herself that she didn’t want to risk disturbing Suzanne if she was resting, even though she knew the truth was something different, Hannah walked quietly downstairs and into the den, where the children were snuggled on the sofa watching a movie.
“Aunty Hannah!” Ruby’s curls bobbed around her face like question marks. “Come and watch it with us! It’s funny. You’ll love it.”
Hannah glanced at the cartoons on the screen. “In a minute, maybe. Girls, I need to make a phone call.”
Ruby’s eyes widened. “Are you calling about Bugsy?”
“I—No, not about Bugsy.” She saw Ruby’s face crumple and instantly her heart started to race. “At least, not only about Bugsy. But while I’m on the phone, I will call the airline, too, and see if there is any news. Can you stay here while I do that?”
Beth’s words echoed in her head.
It isn’t enough to listen. You need to check on them.
But she was only going to be five minutes. Suzanne was upstairs; both children were occupied with their movie.
“Promise me you’ll stay here and that you won’t move until I’m back.”
“We promise, Aunty Hannah,” Melly said, her eyes fixed on the screen. “I’ll watch Ruby.”
Ruby frowned. “I don’t need watching.”
“You do need watching.” Melly spoke with sisterly superiority. “You left Bugsy on the plane.”
“And we’re going to fix that.” With a final check that they had everything they needed, Hannah pulled her coat on, pushed her feet into an old pair of snow boots Suzanne had left out for her, and walked out into the yard.
Someone had cleared the snow to one side, but the freeze overnight had turned the path slick and icy.
Picking her way to the softer snow to the side, Hannah waved her phone in the air, trying to find a signal.
This was ridiculous. She’d forgotten how patchy communications were. How did anyone function here? It was only when you were without it that you realized how much you relied on technology.
Her toes were freezing and she picked her way carefully across the snow-covered yard and headed toward the field that sloped up from the lodge.
Wondering what had possessed her to think being in Scotland would be any sort of escape, she climbed the gate awkwardly and saw a few precious bars of signal appear on her phone. Finally.
Angie answered the call immediately.
“Miss Mc—Hannah! It’s good to hear your voice. How is Scotland?”
“Cold.” She was relieved her assistant couldn’t see her clinging to a muddy gate. “Did you get the report I sent?”
“Yes. The team are meeting now. Adam is going to call you after they’re done to—” Her voice vanished and Hannah frowned.
“Hello? Angie? Are you still there?” She checked the connection and stepped up a rung on the gate, trying not to slip. “Angie?”
“Hannah? This line is terrible.”
“I know, but it’s the only one we have, so let’s work with it. First, I’m going to be emailing you something I need you to deal with urgently. It’s not an easy brief, but if anyone can do it, you can. Make it a priority.” Her fingers were so cold she almost dropped the phone. How long did it take frostbite to set in? “Ask Adam if he can do the coaching session with Michael Barnet that I had scheduled for tomorrow. I was going to do it from here, but that’s not going to work.” She could hardly coach a general manager on how he was managing the performance of his team while she was shivering in a field and playing hide-and-seek with an elusive phone signal. “Any problems from the rest of the clients?” She listened while Angie talked and made the occasional interjection, “Mmm, well, that is a key element of introducing organizational change...” She shifted her position on the gate as one of her hands
grew numb. “We need to review the project plan and discuss priorities for January. Is that everything?”
“Yes. We have a team meeting in the morning, so if anything comes out of that, I’ll call you. Unless you want to call in to the meeting?”
“I don’t think that’s going to—Agh—” Hannah screamed as something wet and warm touched her frozen fingers. She snatched her hand away and in doing so let go of the gate. She lost both her phone and her balance, felt her stomach swoop and landed in an ungainly heap in the churned-up frozen mud and snow by the gate.
Winded, she lay there for a moment, and then a big, shaggy head lowered toward her.
Hannah screamed.
The pony threw up his head, startled.
“Socks.” Posy’s voice came from a distance. “Socks!”
The pony turned in the direction of her voice. With a delighted snort, Socks ceased his exploration of the strange human lying in his field and turned back to the gate.
By the time Posy had swung herself over the gate, Hannah had managed to sit up.
“Are you all right? Are you bruised? You have a bloodcurdling scream, by the way.” Posy dropped the bale of hay she was carrying and dropped to her knees beside her sister. “Did you hurt yourself? Say something! You’re making me panic.”
“You’re in the mountain rescue team. You’re not supposed to panic.”
“It’s different when it’s your sister. Especially when you said you might be pregnant.” Posy flushed. “I know it’s none of my business. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m worried, that’s all.”
“I am pregnant.” Oh God, had she hurt the baby? It hadn’t even been born yet, and already she’d harmed it. Instinctively she lowered her hand to her abdomen, even though she knew it would make no difference. “Do you think I’m going to lose it?” And it was only now, when that possibility presented itself, that she realized how much she didn’t want it to happen.
“Of course not. You didn’t fall far and it was a soft landing, but I don’t think lying on your back in snow and mud is good for you, so let’s fix that at least.” Posy held out her hand and helped her up. “What are you doing out here? Beth and Jason walked past me ten minutes ago and said you were watching the girls.”
