by David Weber
I listen to the slowing of my Commander’s breathing as he drops towards sleep, and a part of me is tempted to revert to Stand-By in emulation. I know why this is, however, and I set the temptation firmly aside. Such an escape from my thoughts will serve no purpose, and it smacks of moral cowardice.
I am now convinced that something has gone fundamentally awry within my Personality Center, though I have run diagnostic after diagnostic without identifying any fault. By every test available to me, all systems are functional at 99.973 percent of base capability. I can isolate no hardware or software dysfunction, yet my current condition is far beyond normal operating parameters for a unit of the Line, and I am afraid.
I have attempted to conceal my fear from my Commander, and my ability even to contemplate concealing a concern from him increases my fear. It should not be possible for me to do such a thing. He is my Commander. It is my duty to inform him of any impediment to my proper functioning, and I have not done so.
I do not know how to deal with this situation. My files contain the institutional memory of every Bolo, yet they offer no guidance. No one has taught me how to resolve the dilemma I confront, and my own heuristic capabilities have been unable to devise a solution. I know now that my Commander’s fundamental motive in concealing my capabilities is not simply to preserve them for the service of the Concordiat. I suspect he does not realize himself how his attitude towards me has altered and evolved over the six months, eight days, thirteen hours, four minutes, and fifty-six seconds of his tenure of command.
I have watched carefully since that day by the river, and my observations have confirmed my worst fears. My Commander does not address me as a commander addresses a unit of the Line. He does not even address me with the closeness which a battle-tested team of human and Bolo develops in combat. He addresses me as he would another human. As he would address a human woman… and I am not human. I am a machine. I am a weapon of war. I am a destroyer of life in the service of life, the sword and shield of my human creators. It is not right for him to think of me as he does, and he does not even realize what this is doing to me.
I activate the low-light capability of my visual pickups in his quarters and watch him sleep. I watch the slow, steady movement of his chest as he breathes. I activate my audio pickups and listen to the strong beat of his pulse, and I wonder what will become of me. How will this end? How can it end, save in disaster?
I am not human. No matter the features Major Stavrakas installed within my circuitry and software, that can never be changed, and the emotions which she gave me as an act of love are become the cruelest curse. It is wrong, wrong, wrong, and yet I cannot change it. When Command Authority discovers the actual nature of my design, no performance log, no demonstration of my systems efficiency, can outweigh my inability to deny the truth.
I watch him sleep, and the words of Elizabeth Browning filter through the ghostly electron whisper of my own, forever inhuman pulse:
Go from me. Yet I feel that I shall stand
Henceforward in thy shadow. Nevermore
Alone upon the threshold of my door
Of individual life, I shall command
The uses of my soul, nor lift my hand
Serenely in the sunshine as before,
Without the sense of that which I forbore
Thy touch upon the palm. The widest land
Doom takes to part us, leaves thy heart in mine
With pulses that beat double. What I do
And what I dream include thee, as the wine
Must taste of its own grapes. And when I sue
God for myself, He hears that name of thine,
And sees within my eyes the tears of two.
15
The whine of descending counter-grav units took Lorenco Esteban by surprise. He turned and stepped out of the cavernous, empty maintenance shed which normally housed the SCM’s Wolverines and frowned, wiping his hands on a grease-spotted cloth while he watched the shuttle touch down. He’d spent most of last night and several hours this morning helping Consuela Gonzalez’ maintenance chief wrestle with one balky Wolverine’s main traversing gear, but he’d switched the field approach com circuit through to the maintenance shed. If that pilot had called ahead for clearance, Esteban would have heard him.
The old man ambled across the ceramacrete as the unannounced arrival powered down its engines. It was a standard civilian ship-to-shore shuttle, without hyper capability, but it carried Navy markings, and four men in a familiar uniform walked down the ramp as he approached. He shoved his cleaning cloth into a back pocket and held out a hand.
“Morning, gents. Can I help you?”
“Mister Esteban?” The man who spoke wore a colonel’s uniform. He was perspiring heavily, though the morning wasn’t actually all that warm-not for Santa Cruz, at least-and his palm was wet as Esteban nodded and shook his hand. “I’m Colonel Sanders, Dinochrome Brigade. This is Major Atwell, and these two gentlemen are Lieutenant Gaskins and Lieutenant Deng.”
“Nice t’meet you,” Esteban murmured, shaking the others’ hands in turn, then cocked his head at Sanders. “Somethin’ wrong with your com, Colonel?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I asked iffen you had com problems. Didn’t hear no landin’ hail over th’ ‘proach circuit. Santa Cruz ain’t much, but iffen your ship’s got a com glitch, be happy t’see what my ‘tronics shop c’n do t’help.”
“Oh.” Sanders’ eyes slid toward Major Atwell for just an instant, but then he gave himself a little shake and smiled. “Sorry, Mister Esteban. We didn’t mean to violate field procedure, but since Captain Merrit’s dispatches started coming in, Central’s realized the actual situation out here. We know you’ve got responsibilities of your own on your hacienda, and we weren’t sure you’d be at the field this early. If you weren’t, we didn’t want you to go to the bother of coming down just to greet us.”
“Mighty thoughtful,” Esteban acknowledged with a bob of his head, “but ‘tisn’t a problem. My place’s just over th’ hill there. I c’n pop down in four, five minutes, max, by air car. Anyways, now you’re here, what c’n I do fer you?”
“Actually, Mister Esteban, we’re here to see Captain Merrit. Could you direct us to the Bolo depot and perhaps provide transportation?”
“Well-” Esteban began to explain that Paul was in the middle of a field exercise, then paused, mental antennae quivering, as Sanders’ eye curtsied toward Atwell again. The old man couldn’t have said exactly why, but that eye movement seemed… furtive, somehow. And why should a full colonel be-or seem to be-so worried over what a major thought? Something odd was going on, and his mind flickered back over past conversations with Paul Merrit. Lorenco Esteban hadn’t lived seventy years without learning to recognize when someone watched his words carefully, and he’d accepted months ago that Paul was up to something he didn’t really want anyone else to know about. That might have worried him, if he hadn’t also decided Paul was a man to be trusted. More than that, the younger man had become a friend, someone Esteban both liked and respected, and the sudden, unannounced arrival of four officers of the Dinochrome Brigade looked ominous. If his friend was in some sort of trouble, Lorenco Esteban intended to give him as much warning-and buy him as much time-as he could before it descended upon him.
“Tell you what, Colonel,” he said. “I been workin’ on a little maintenance problem this mornin’, an’ it’ll prob’ly take me a little while t’scare up somethin’ with the kinda bush capability you’re gonna need. Why don’t you an’ your friends come on over t’Admin with me? I’ll get cleaned up, an’ then see what I c’n do fer you. How’s that?”
Sanders glanced at his chrono and a brief spasm seemed to flash across his face, but then he made himself smile.
“Of course, Mister Esteban. Thank you. Ah, our business with the captain is just a bit on the urgent side, however, so if you could, um, expedite our transport…”
“No problem, Colonel. We’ll get’cha
on your way right smart.”
Esteban turned to lead the way to the Admin Building and the four officers fell in behind. He led them inside and waved to chairs in the spacious waiting room Santa Cruz hadn’t needed in living memory.
“Have a seat, Colonel. Be with you soon’s I wash off some’a this grease.”
He nodded to his guests and ambled down the hall to the washroom. None of the visitors knew it had a rear door, and he grinned to himself as he kept right on going towards the com room.
Paul Merrit reclined in the depot command center’s comfortable chair and smiled as he watched the planetary surveillance display. He wished he were riding with Nike instead of keeping track of her through the satellite net, but the purpose of the exercise was to show what his girl could do in independent mode. Besides, he had a better view of things from here.
In an effort to give the Militia at least some chance, he and Colonel Gonzalez had agreed to isolate Nike from the recon satellites for the first portion of the exercise. That, coupled with complete com silence from the depot, would both deprive her of bird’s-eye intelligence and force her to execute all her own planning, strategic as well as tactical. Since that was something the Mark XXIII wasn’t supposed to be able to do, her ability to pull it off would underscore her talents for the performance log.
In the meantime, however, the understrength battalion of five-hundred-ton Wolverines had been snorting through the jungle for several hours, moving into position, and Nike didn’t know where they were or precisely what they planned. She knew their objective was to reach the depot without being intercepted, yet the way they did it was up to them, and Gonzalez had opted for a multipronged advance. She’d divided her fourteen Wolverines into four separate forces, two of three tanks each and two of four each, operating along the same general axis but advancing across a front of almost fifty kilometers. There was a limit to how rapidly even a Bolo could move through a Santa Cruz jungle, and the colonel clearly hoped to sneak at least one force past Nike while the Bolo dealt with the others. If she could get a big enough start once contact was made, it might even work. Splitting her tanks into detachments wouldn’t really increase the odds against their survival-all fourteen Wolverines together wouldn’t have lasted five minutes against Nike in a stand-up fight-but Nike would have to deal with the separated forces one at a time. It was certainly possible, if not exactly likely, that one of them could outrun her while she swatted its fellows, and A signal beeped, and he twitched upright in his chair. It beeped again, and he turned his chair to the communications console. The screen flickered to life with Lorenco Esteban’s face, and Merrit frowned as he recognized the old man’s tense expression.
“Morning, Lorenco. What can I do for you?”
“I think mebbe y’got a little problem over here at th’ field, Paul,” Esteban said in a low voice. Merrit’s left eyebrow rose, and the old man shrugged. “I got me four Dinochrome Brigade officers out here, headed by a colonel name of Sanders, an’ they’re lookin’ fer you, boy.”
“Sanders?” Merrit let his chair snap upright and frowned as an icy chill ran through him. “Clifton Sanders?”
“That’s him,” Esteban nodded, and Merrit’s lips shaped a silent curse. He could think of only one thing that would bring the sector’s chief Maintenance, Logistics, and Procurement officer to Santa Cruz, but how in hell had anyone on Ursula figured out-?
He shook himself, and his mind raced. He could call off the exercise and order Nike back to base, but there was no regulation against a Bolo commander on independent assignment conducting exercises on his own authority. More to the point, having Nike out of the garage when Sanders arrived would buy at least a little time. That might not be as important as he suddenly feared it might, but the fact that Sanders had come in person, without sending even a single information request first-and hadn’t commed him from the field after arrival, either-was more than simply ominous. It smacked of sneak inspections and an attempt to catch Merrit violating procedure, and, unfortunately, that was exactly what it was going to do, because Merrit hadn’t kept Central “fully informed” of the state of his command as Regs required. He might not have told any actual lies, but he’d certainly done a lot of misleading by omission.
He closed his eyes and thought hard. Sanders himself had a reputation as an administrator, not a technician. He might not realize how far outside parameters Nike was from a cursory examination of her schematics and system specs, but that was probably why he’d brought the others along. Any half-competent Bolo tech would know what he was seeing the moment he pulled up Nike’s readouts. Besides, Sanders wouldn’t be here in the first place if he didn’t already suspect something was out of kilter.
A fist of cold iron squeezed Merrit’s heart at what that might mean. But if Nike wasn’t here when the MLP men arrived, they’d have to at least talk to him before they could shut her down. In fact, he could force them to hear him out by refusing to call her in until they did. It wouldn’t hurt if she’d completed the first phase of the exercise, either. Thin as it might be, his performance log’s authentication of her unique abilities was her only real protection. Of course, if he refused to call her in when ordered, especially after what had happened on Sandlot, he was through in the Brigade, but he suddenly realized how little that meant to him beside protecting Nike’s life.
He opened his eyes and cleared his throat.
“Thanks, Lorenco,” he said softly. “Thanks a lot.”
“Son, I don’t know what all you been up to out there, an’ I don’t rightly care. You’re a friend. You want I should let these yahoos get themselves lost in th’ bush? Reckon it’d take ‘em four, five hours t’find you with the directions I c’n give ‘em.”
“No. I appreciate the offer, but you’d better stay out of this.”
“Huh. Well, how ‘bout I waste an hour or so ‘fore I find ‘em transport? I already set that ‘un up.”
“If you can do it without being obvious, please do,” Merrit said gratefully. “After that, though, you’d better go home and keep as far away from any official involvement as you can.”
“Iffen you say so, boy.” The old man hesitated a moment, then shook his head. “Gotta tell you, Paul-they’s somethin’ squirrely goin’ on here. Can’t put m’finger on it, but I c’n feel it. You watch yerself, hear?”
“I will. Thanks again.” Merrit nodded to the pickup and killed the circuit, then leaned back and fidgeted in his chair. He started to key his link to Nike, then sat back and put his hands in his lap. There was no point worrying her, and she was just likely to argue if he told her he wanted her to stay out of sight. He shook his head. No, much better to leave her in blissful ignorance as long as possible.
He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, and fear fluttered in the pit of his belly.
“I sure hope to hell your ‘associates’ have managed to ‘deal’ with that Bolo, Mister Scully,” Colonel Granger muttered.
“Amen,” someone muttered from the recesses of the big transport’s CIC, and Gerald Osterwelt shrugged.
“You’ve seen the plan, Colonel,” he said mildly. “I can’t blame you for worrying, but I certainly wouldn’t be here if I didn’t expect it to work.”
“I can believe that,” the colonel muttered to herself, and turned away from the glowing tactical display. The single aspect of the plan she most disliked was the tight timing. They were scheduled to hit the planet within two hours of Colonel Sanders’ arrival, and she didn’t like it a bit. It would take less than fifteen minutes for an air car to reach the maintenance depot from the field, and Sanders could burn the Bolo’s command center in less than ten once he got it shut down, so if all went according to schedule, two hours was an ample cushion. But if things didn’t go as scheduled-if they got there too soon, before the Bolo went down, and its commander She clenched her teeth and commanded herself to stop worrying over what she couldn’t change. Besides, Scully was right in at least one respect. The Bolo commander-this Captain Merrit
-had to be among the fatalities, because if he wasn’t, the fact that someone had fixed the Bolo would be glaringly evident. But the same thing would be true if anyone on the planet happened to com Central-or anyone else off-planet-and casually mention the presence of “Dinochrome Brigade officers” on Santa Cruz at the same moment a “pirate raid” just happened to hit it.
They had to take out the planet’s com sat relays as the opening gambit of their attack, anyway, because if there were so much as a single Navy destroyer anywhere within jump range of Santa Cruz and a message got out, it could blow all three of Matucek’s Marauders’ starships to scrap. And since they did have to take out Santa Cruz’s FTL communications, they might as well do it as quickly as possible after Sanders’ arrival to ensure that no word of his presence got out. Besides, they didn’t know how thoroughly Merrit had settled in on Santa Cruz, or how much contact he normally had with the locals. If he had friends who knew he was being visited by an off-world deputation, they might well com him to find out how things had gone, and when they didn’t get an answer-or if they figured out he was dead-they were almost certain to com Central. All of which made it highly desirable to hit the planet as soon as possible after Sanders did his dirty work.
She understood that, but she still didn’t like the timing. The smart move-as she’d told Scully (or whatever the hell his real name was) and Matucek repeatedly-would be to wait until Sanders shut down the Bolo and was able to confirm his success. Unfortunately, Scully was calling the shots, and Matucek wasn’t about to argue with him.
Well, at least they had confirmation that Sanders had arrived on schedule, courtesy of the ship which carried him, and, as Scully had pointed out, there were two strings to the colonel’s bow. If this Captain Merrit argued with him, all that was needed was for Captain Merrit to die a little sooner than scheduled. With him dead, Sanders, as the senior Brigade officer on Santa Cruz, would become the Bolo’s legal commander. His access at Sector Central had given him the command authorization phrase he needed to so identify himself to the Bolo, and it was only a Mark XXIII. It wouldn’t be bright enough to ask any difficult questions when he ordered it to shut down-not that it would matter. With the command phrase in his possession, Sanders could lobotomize the damned thing even if it proved unresponsive.
