Kiss Kiss Fang Fang: A Sucky Vampire Romantic Comedy

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Kiss Kiss Fang Fang: A Sucky Vampire Romantic Comedy Page 7

by Penelope Bloom


  I frowned. “People have tried to kill you?”

  Lucian nodded. “Many times. I don’t recommend it.”

  I thought about seeing my own blood dripping from Leah’s fingers. I put my hand to my side, remembering the cold that I’d felt there. I had mostly succeeded in suppressing the memory, but it still bubbled up from time to time, unbidden. “No. I don’t blame you.”

  Lucian put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned into him.

  It was that easy.

  I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to blame the bond for how natural it felt to be close to him, or if that was just him. But I did know it felt good. It felt right.

  I would’ve thought my brush with near-death would’ve made the danger of his world feel real enough. But knowing others had tried to kill Lucian helped it click into place. People had tried to kill him. And three hundred years was a long time to make enemies. It also made me think about what was out there. If Lucian had lived that long, how old and powerful were the vampires who wanted him dead? The ones who wanted me dead because I was bonded to him?

  “How long does the bond take to fade, anyway?” I asked as we took our seats at the back of advanced biochem.

  “A few weeks.”

  “A few weeks?” I asked. “You didn’t think that was important enough information to lead with the other day?”

  “It will take as long as it takes. We just need to make sure we don’t sleep with each other while my blood is still inside you.”

  The girl in front of us turned her head slowly to look at us with a horrified but curious glance.

  I smiled. “He’s a foreign exchange student. English is tricky.”

  Lucian smiled from behind his sunglasses and silly hood. “I’m from Transylvania.”

  “Right,” The girl said, turning back around. She shoved her things in her backpack and moved several rows forward.

  I didn’t really have a successful social life before Lucian Undergrove entered my world, but I had a feeling he was going to set fire to any slim hope I ever had of being normal.

  13

  Lucian

  Cara began walking back toward her apartment after her final task of giving tours finished. The night air was crisp and refreshing, even more so after an entire day of subjecting myself to the sunlight. But I was growing hungry.

  Intolerably hungry.

  Cara gave me a few silent looks before she finally stopped, putting her hand on my arm. “Are you okay, Lucian? I thought you’d be feeling better with all the moonlight. Or something,” she added, sounding less sure of herself.

  “I need to feed.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You mean like in a vampirey kind of way?”

  “Yes. I need blood.”

  Her gaze darted across my face, and I realized she wasn’t sure if I was implying I wanted her blood.

  “No,” I said. “Remember? It needs to be someone else.”

  “Who?”

  “Anyone.”

  “And you promise they’ll be okay?”

  “Would it matter if they wouldn’t?” I asked, irritated by her question and admiring of her courage to care at the same time. “Would you stop me if I said they’d die?”

  She looked down. “I just want to know whether I need to hate myself for not trying to stake you through the heart or something.”

  “They will be fine. I swear it.”

  Cara followed me as I searched. It wasn’t long before I saw a pair of young women traveling together.

  “Stay here,” I said, motioning for Cara to wait back slightly.

  She looked unsure, but obeyed, even as I felt the bond urging us to stay close.

  “Excuse me,” I said, getting the attention of the two women. “I’m not from here. Could you help me with something?”

  The women shared a look, then smiled conspiratorially to each other and nodded, coming closer to me. I had no true preference for feeding on men versus women, but over the years I’d learned the way I looked made it much easier to lure women close enough to feed. Men were more likely to simply run.

  I waited until I had both of their gazes. I cleared my mind, then reached into theirs and calmed them. The sight of pulsing veins in their necks was enough to enlarge my canines, and moments later, I was feeding.

  I knew it was ridiculous to care that Cara was watching me with a horrified expression. It shouldn’t have mattered, especially since I wanted to remove myself from her life as soon as the bond allowed. I was also still hoping she’d agree to let me wipe her memory of this entire adventure when it was all through.

  But as I drank my fill from the first woman and moved to the next, I knew I was only trying to fool myself.

  I didn’t want anything that involved losing Cara. I already wanted to keep her for as long as I could. Selfishly, I wanted her to be with me for my cold eternity because I knew it wouldn’t feel as cold if she was there, too.

  I took only as much blood as I needed, then discreetly wiped the encounter from the women’s memories. They’d find the twin puncture wounds on their necks tomorrow but would come up with some way to explain it.

  I walked back to Cara, wiping my mouth with a cloth from my pocket. “I feel better now.”

  Cara’s lips were pressed together, and she wasn’t meeting my eyes. “Good. I’m happy to hear it.”

  She started walking quickly, and in no particular direction as far as I could tell. I watched her back, thinking of the things I wanted to say. There were many. And I didn’t know if I would’ve been saying them for her benefit, or my own.

  I never asked to be this way.

  I’d take it all back if I had the choice.

  Many times, I’ve wished I was human. I’ve wished I could live and die a normal life with a normal person like you.

  But I said nothing. I didn’t deserve to make excuses for myself. I knew what I was.

  I chose to continue my existence. I could’ve found a place in the sun and waited for it to end me if I wanted. I could’ve let Bennigan tear me to pieces. There were a thousand opportunities to let this end, and yet I kept fighting to survive.

  Feedings like she’d just seen were the cost of my existence, and I wasn’t going to apologize for them.

  14

  Cara

  I swallowed uneasily. The place Lucian had taken us to looked exactly like the kind of place you went into if you wanted someone to drug your drink or steal your money. Or both.

  “You’re sure about this?” I asked.

  Lucian had seemed off ever since he fed on those women, and to be honest, I’d felt off, too. It was a brutal reminder that this was real.

  It wasn’t just some silly story I’d tell when I was older about that time I had to pretend a vampire was my boyfriend slash foreign exchange student slash whatever. He was a vampire. He drank people’s blood. He’d made me drink his blood, and some insane voodoo magic bond was forcing me to feel like I couldn’t bear to be ten steps away from the guy.

  Reality apparently couldn’t care less if this all seemed too off the wall to believe. Here I was, and there he was.

  To complicate things, I was increasingly sure I actually liked the guy, too. Even if he did bite people in darkened alleys and live in some twisted, creepy world.

  Lucian led me down a few steps directly in front of a black-painted brick building. The steps turned a corner and led to an equally black door with a woman dressed like a goth sitting out front. She eyed us, showing a little flickering recognition when she focused on Lucian.

  “Is that you?” she asked.

  Lucian grunted in acknowledgment. “It’s been a while. I know. But I’m here now, and I brought a friend. My girlfriend, actually.”

  The woman swung an incredulous gaze in my direction. She got up from the stool she’d been perched on and sniffed me. She sniffed me.

  “Is she human?” asked the woman.

  “If you don’t mind, we need to go inside and speak with Alaric and Seraphine.”

>   The woman folded her arms, then shrugged. “I guess the Coldwells are going to stop having their fun with Lucian Undergrove back on the prowl, hm?”

  Lucian looked like he didn’t want the woman to say anymore in front of me. He stiffly nodded, then pulled me inside.

  “What did she mean?” I asked.

  “It’s nothing.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Didn’t sound like nothing.”

  He sighed. “The Coldwells were a particularly powerful clan who opposed something called The Pact. I was one of the vampires with the job of making sure they didn’t do too much damage. That’s all.”

  “So do you get vampire paychecks?” I asked with a grin. “You said it was your job, so I’m assuming you have a boss?”

  “That’s enough questions, Cara.”

  Nope, I thought. It was probably never going to be enough questions to get me up to speed on all the weird rules and history of his world. But I’d learned he would answer my questions as long as I didn’t stack too many of them together all at once.

  Lucian and I headed inside, and I was greeted with what was absolutely a bar full of vampires. They weren’t all beautiful, but even the more “normal” looking ones still carried a supreme air of confidence, as if they could snap their fingers and change the world, and they knew it. The dress code included slightly dated formal wear, extremely dated suits, fresh expensive designer dresses, and even old puffy ball gowns. It was like a choose your era costume party, but all the clothes were well-made and, I suspected, originals.

  The music thumping through the air was modern and some of the people—the vampires—in the place were enjoying it as they danced. Most were crowded around tables speaking in low voices or enjoying drinks at the bar. It was normal, and completely abnormal at the same time.

  “What’s with the clothes?” I asked Lucian quietly as we moved through the room.

  “Status symbols. Old clothes mean an old vampire. Old means powerful.”

  Lucian seemed to know where he was going. He took us past the bar, where more and more of the other vampires seemed to be noticing him. They were turning in their stools, standing from their tables, or stopping mid-dance to stare. I saw some of them muttering angrily to their neighbors and others staring in a state almost like awe.

  “You’re either super popular with these guys, or super unpopular. Which is it?”

  “That depends which end of my work they’ve wound up on, I suppose.” Lucian muttered.

  I chuckled. “Watch out. We’ve got a badass over here.” I was teasing him, but the looks on the faces of a room full of what I assumed were very powerful, very scary vampires said he really wasn’t just an ordinary vampire.

  “Yes,” Lucian said. “We do. Now come on.” He pulled open a door at the side of the large room and led us into a private area with a sleek, glossy black table and leather chairs. A beautiful woman and extremely handsome man were waiting at the table inside. They both got to their feet and went to Lucian, hugging him like they’d been worried.

  It wasn’t long before their attention turned to me.

  With the discomfort of knowing I was being studied, I sat down. Lucian took the seat beside me and cleared his throat. “Alaric, Seraphina, you remember Cara.”

  The man had a smooth forehead and slicked back dirty blond hair. His features were sharp and wolf-like, but the overall effect made me think of some long-gone roguish gentleman from a dead era. He showed a crooked smile that mostly confirmed my suspicion about his character. “We didn’t get a chance to properly thank you,” Alaric said. “So let me formally say thank you for being a klutz and crashing down the wall that had us so detained.”

  “Don’t be rude, brother,” Seraphina said. She had the kind of face I imagined most women would come up with if they got to go into a computer program and had years to personally design every feature. Perfectly bold eyebrows. Slightly slanted and narrowed eyes that gave her an effortless edge of seduction. Lips like puffy pillows, and sleek black hair that she wore just above her shoulders in a silky curtain. “For all we know, she is a conspirator who was trying to set us free.”

  “Well,” I said. My voice caught and I had to clear it a few times. “Actually, I really am just a klutz. I had to pee really bad and there was this key on that shelf. I knocked it over trying to get to it.”

  Alaric laughed, clapping his hands together once with a loud pop. Seraphina dipped her chin, showing the faintest hint of amusement. I jumped when Lucian put his hand on my thigh beneath the table. He seemed to realize what he’d done a moment later and jerked it back, but it wasn’t before all the constantly erotic visions of him in the back of my mind raced up to focus.

  “Wonderful,” Alaric said. “The nefarious plans of our rival were undone by a full bladder. I love it.”

  Lucian didn’t appear to be in any hurry to fill the silence that followed. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.

  “Am I allowed to ask what I’m in the middle of?”

  The three of them all silently exchanged looks, then Alaric and Seraphina nodded to Lucian.

  “You’ve unintentionally brought yourself into the middle of a centuries long feud. Bennigan is one of the most powerful vampires in the area. He has a strong effect on women, even other vampires.”

  Alaric jumped in. “He basically has a harem of sex slaves who will claw and bite anything he tells them to. Honestly, I’ve always kind of been jealous of that gift.”

  Lucian nodded. “Yes. He and I have crossed paths many times because of his outrageous goals for more power. But a certain incident about a hundred years ago ramped up tensions.”

  “Because?” I prodded.

  Lucian hesitated, and Alaric jumped in again for him. “Because doofus over here killed his wife.”

  “You killed somebody’s wife?” I asked, voice full of incredulity.

  “That somebody’s wife was in the middle of trying to tear apart an innocent human with her bare hands. So, yes. I intervened.”

  Alaric leaned in, grinning. “He didn’t just intervene. He killed Bennigan’s favorite. And he did it to save a human.”

  I took a steadying breath. “Okay, hold on. I’d like to think I’m doing a pretty good job of absorbing all this vampire stuff in stride. But I wasn’t ready for the killer part.”

  Lucian turned a ring over on his pinky finger, eyes distant. “You don’t need to approve of it, Cara. We both just need to outlast the bond.”

  I looked down. Lucian hadn’t spoken to me like that before, and I suddenly felt like a scolded child at a table with adults. I didn’t interject anymore when the conversation resumed and the three of them started talking about alliances and rivalries.

  From what I could figure out without context, it sounded like only thing stopping vampires from openly killing anyone they slightly disagreed with was a fragile network of alliances and the other vampires like Lucian who tried to enforce some sort of code of conduct.

  When they were finished, my fuzzy understanding was that Lucian needed to re-establish contacts with old allies. Without support, he wouldn’t be able to keep enforcing “the code,” and if the code wasn’t enforced, there was nothing stopping Bennigan from sending his she-army down on us. At least that was my best attempt at understanding it all.

  When they’d all finished, I momentarily forgot Lucian’s temper and spoke. “There’s something I don’t understand. How did the three of you get walled into a room, anyway? And couldn’t you just yell for help or knock it down?”

  Seraphina answered. “Most vampires find a human steward they trust. It means you can sleep safely through the day and know you’ll be woken if danger comes. Our steward grew paranoid about the danger we faced. She…”

  Alaric looked uncomfortable, but interjected, as if Seraphina was waiting to let him finish. “I may have broken a rule or two and formed a relationship with the woman. We were in love, and my sweet Emily decided the only way to save me from Bennigan’s relentless hunting
was to hide me and throw away the key, so to speak.”

  “Wait, I thought Bennigan was the one who trapped you?”

  “No,” Lucian said. “He was the reason Emily was frightened enough to lock us away. But he would’ve come and finished the job if he’d known where we were. We were forced into a state like hibernation. With nothing to feed on, we would’ve died if we stayed awake. So we slept until you disturbed us.”

  “And you couldn’t just… you know, punch the wall down?”

  Alaric looked uncomfortable again. “It’s possible I may have revealed some of our weaknesses to my dear Emily. She… took advantage of that knowledge.”

  Lucian glared at the man. “Which is why long-standing traditions of not blabbering about the things humans can do to hurt or kill us exist.”

  Alaric waved his hand. “It was love. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “Haven’t you guys been alive hundreds of years?” I asked. “I’m sure Lucian has loved someone before, right?”

  “Lucian is the oldest,” Alaric admitted. “By quite a bit. He doesn’t talk about what he did or didn’t do before we came along.”

  “Wait,” I said. “I thought you were all siblings?”

  Seraphina interjected. “It’s a vampire thing. Your family name is from the one who turned you. We were all turned by Dominic Undergrove.”

  “Where is this Dominic guy now? Couldn’t he help us?”

  “That’s enough questions,” Lucian said. He sounded suddenly grumpier. “The two of you will need to take charge of contacting the Whites and the Hemlocks as soon as possible. I’ll look into reaching out to the Marsh children when the next fight occurs. I figure they’ll be more amenable to talks of an alliance if they get to watch a little bloodshed in the process. I’ll be occupied tomorrow, so I’ll need you two to make sure to handle the Whites and Hemlocks yourselves.”

  “Occupied with what?” Alaric asked.

 

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