“You are awful, Alex; it’s not nice to tease.” But she couldn’t help smiling at his antics.
Alex flashed her an impish grin and then bowed dramatically before turning to leave, still fighting imaginary foes until he was out of sight.
Chapter Twenty Three
Helen was stepping into her slippers, when movement reflected in the mirror caught her eye. She kept her back to whoever it was but was careful to keep her eye on the mirror, in case they moved again and under the guise of adjusting her sleeves, she surreptitiously loosened the dagger from its sheath.
With that done, she went to her dressing table and pretended to check her reflection so that when she walked out of the room, she would pass directly by her privacy screen. Her heart was pounding as she turned to leave but no matter the danger, she knew that she couldn’t just ignore it, she couldn’t live in fear for the rest of her life. At least this way, she would know who wanted her dead.
As she passed the screen, she pulled the dagger from its scabbard and as she neared the end of the screen, she pulled it over and hurled herself at her watcher. She assumed that the element of surprise combined with a feral cry, allowed her to push the intruder up against the wall, until she realised that he was actually smaller than she was.
“Joe!” she stepped away and quickly sheathed the dagger. “Dear God, you frightened me.”
Joe looked rather frightened himself.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Helen said when Joe didn’t speak or move. “I’m a little bit spooked at the moment, although that is no excuse. Are you all right?”
Joe nodded slowly.
“What on earth are you doing in here?” she asked, trying her hardest not to shout. After the fright that he had given her, she was inclined to demand answers, although she knew that Joe needed gentle handling.
Before Joe could answer, Alex burst into the room, almost knocking Helen over in the process and only his quick reflexes saved her.
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” she assured him.
“But I heard a cry.”
“Joe just surprised me, that’s all, there’s no need to make a fuss.”
Alex turned to Joe, noticing him for the first time. “What are you doing up so late, you’re supposed to be in bed.”
Joe’s look of fear changed to one of mutiny and he refused to answer.
“Where is your nanny?” Alex demanded.
“It’s nothing, Alex. Joe just came down to ask when we could play chess again, didn’t you?” she prompted with a pointed look at the boy. She didn’t particularly want to tell Alex that she had been a moment away from stabbing his son, while she felt that Joe probably didn’t want his father to know he had been lurking in his step-mother’s room.
As expected, Joe nodded his agreement.
“As I said, we can play tomorrow, Joe. Why don’t you run back to your nanny now, before she starts to worry.”
Joe took off running through the door his father had left open and Helen frowned as she watched his retreating back. He hadn’t said a single word and although she couldn’t blame him (a knife aimed at her might well render Helen incapable of speech for a time also) she wondered what his purpose had been in coming here. It occurred to her to suspect him of wanting to hurt her but she quickly dismissed such a ludicrous thought. Whatever was prompting the boy’s actions, she would be willing to bet that murder was not on his agenda.
“Are you all right?” Alex asked again, moving to stand in front of her.
“Yes.” She gave him the most reassuring smile that she could in an attempt to diffuse the situation. Her nerves were still frayed and she wasn’t sure for how much longer she could remain calm. “Truly, I was just startled, that’s all.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am not a child, Alex, I know my own mind and if I tell you I’m fine, then please believe me that I am in fact, fine!” She stormed from the room before she could say anything else hurtful.
She knew that Alex’s repeated questions were only caused by his worry for her, which made her feel awful, but she felt as if she had an anvil hanging over her head and after her shock, her control of her emotions had finally snapped.
Even knowing that shouting at him had been wrong, she was unable to return to him and apologise.
She was subdued at dinner, feeling that she was just as likely to yell as she was to answer an inquiry politely. It made for a tense dinner but she managed to keep her answers short and at worst, terse.
Following an evening of disapproving sniffs, quite how she managed not to slap her mother-in-law was a miracle that she might never understand, but she was glad that she had managed, somehow.
She drank slightly more than usual, which soothed her anxieties somewhat but she also realised that alcohol would dull her senses, and as tempting as that might be, she didn’t want to be caught off guard at the moment.
Her family were leaving in the morning so although they tested her nerves a little, especially her step-mother, she found it easier to deal with them.
Even Milton and Clarence seemed to have picked up on her mood and both men weren’t nearly as jovial as usual.
After dinner she went straight up to her room, feeling as if the others would be happier with her out of the way. Alex followed, as he followed her everywhere these days, but she closed the door in his face. She didn’t lock it however, and he followed her inside.
“What do you need?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” she reply angrily.
“I mean that I understand how you must be feeling, and I’m asking you to tell me what I can do to help you.”
“There’s nothing anyone can do!” She began to pace the length of the room. “I feel penned in and trapped; I’m so frustrated that I almost wish someone would try to kill me, then at least I wouldn’t be stuck in this interminable wait any longer. I want to shout and scream at the top of my lungs!”
“Very well.” Alex nodded, then took her hand. “Come on.” He practically dragged her from the room and although she struggled, he wouldn’t release her. She ceased struggling as he took her outside and she felt a pang of fear stab her heart. What if Alex had killed Emma and now was going to do the same to her? She wasn’t thinking logically enough to realise that he had no reason to want to harm her but instead, she began to really fight him, putting all her weight behind pulling away and kicking out at him.
Alex changed tactics and the next moment, she was hanging over his shoulder, her legs pinned in his powerful arms. All she could do was punch and hit his back, which she did, demanding that he release her but it was to no avail. It didn’t matter what she did, his stride remained quick and even and finally, she gave up the fight, preferring to save her remaining strength until she had a better chance of escaping.
It was impossible to keep track of where they were and when he finally set her upright, the house was no longer in sight.
She backed away a few steps but Alex made no move towards her.
“Where are we?” she asked, readying herself for a fight.
“Look for yourself,” he said, nodding to what was behind her.
She turned to look and experienced a touch of vertigo, as she realised that they were near the cliff. He caught her before she could trip and held her to him, until she realised that she wasn’t close enough to fall over the edge.
“What are we doing here?” she asked, her fear still evident by the tremor in her voice.
“The trees behind us will shield your screams from the house, and the sea never tells its secrets.”
Her whole body went stiff.
“Scream,” he told her, although his voice wasn’t menacing. “Shout, yell, screech, roar, do whatever you need to do to vent some of your frustration.”
He released her and moved to stand beside her.
It took Helen another moment to realise that he hadn’t meant her any harm and was trying to do what she had told him she needed. Still, she
had been raised to be a lady and it was difficult for her to overcome the traits that had been trained into her from infancy.
“I’m not sure I can,” she said in a small voice. She felt awful, first for her treatment of him earlier, then for fighting him when he was trying to help her and now, she couldn’t do the very thing that she had said she wanted to.
To her surprise, Alex turned towards the sea and released a loud, almost primal yell.
He turned to her when he had finished and reached for her hand.
“Together?” he asked and Helen nodded. “Ready? Three… two…”
Helen took a deep breath and turned to the sea.
“One.”
Helen screamed at the top of her lungs until she had no air left. She took another deep breath and repeated the process, putting as much volume and power behind it as she could. Again and again she shrieked, until the absurdity of them both yelling at nothing finally hit her and when her final scream finished, she fell to her knees and began to laugh, deep laughs that soon brought tears to her eyes.
Alex was laughing with her and pulled her down so that they were lying side by side on the ground, staring up at the sky.
When finally her laughter began to subside, she was glad, since her sides were beginning to ache and she took a deep breath.
“Oh, Alex, thank you. This was just what I needed.”
“It was my pleasure.”
“I’m sorry I’m so bad-tempered lately.”
“Not your fault,” he assured her, and she began to giggle again.
“I can’t laugh any more, it hurts,” she protested, although she didn’t seem to be able to stop.
The clouds began to part and a few moments later, the crescent moon became visible, bathing them in a ghostly light. After a few moments, Helen turned onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, and kissed Alex, slipping her leg between his.
She had meant the kiss to simply be one of affection, a silent apology for her attitude at times recently, but it quickly became hungry.
His hand went around her waist and he pulled her tighter against him, then his hands began to roam over her curves.
Helen managed to undo a button and slipped a hand inside his shirt, feeling his chest and tweaking his nipples. She almost wished that he could do the same to her without removing her dress, for the night was too chilled for that, but he settled for something better anyway, raising her skirt and petticoats and finding her slick core.
His fingers quickly found her bud and she moaned into the kiss as he ignited her passion. Helen set about freeing his manhood and grasped his length in her fist, rubbing the drop of pre-come into his bell end and making him groan with pleasure.
Alex turned them over until Helen was on her back and he between her thighs, and she guided him to her entrance, crying out as he thrust inside.
“Alex,” she cried breathlessly as he began to thrust into her. “Oh, Alex!”
“Do you like that?” he whispered seductively in her ear.
“Yes, oh yes.”
He slipped a hand between them and began to stimulate her clit for only a few moments, before he stilled his fingers.
“Don’t stop!” she pleaded.
“Tell me what you want,” he whispered, his voice even huskier than normal thanks to their earlier antics. “Tell me.”
“I want you.”
Alex slowed his thrusts until she was receiving no stimulation at all. “Tell me,” he demanded again.
“I need you inside me,” she said, realising what he wanted from her. “I need you thrusting into me, pounding me into oblivion while your fingers tease me.”
Alex did exactly what she said.
“Faster,” she urged. “Oh yes, Alex, yes! More, faster, please!”
Finally she came with a scream and the muscles of her sheath clamped down on his length, causing him to spill his seed inside her a moment later.
They were both out of breath and perspiring, despite the cool air. Helen reached around and pulled the leather tie from his hair, so that it fell around his face and shoulders. She began to run her hands through it.
“That was…” she didn’t know how to describe how it had felt. “I would have thought that I would have been too embarrassed to behave like that, but apparently you have discovered hidden depths of wantonness in me.”
“Ah, well you see, you don’t have to try to bring out that side in me, so it seems only fair that I pull you down to the same depths of depravity.”
Helen giggled. “Well, if our passion does doom us to Hell, at least we’ll have company.”
No one had ever made her feel this way before. Her father had loved and understood her but Alex also made her feel needed.
He kissed her playfully and as he pulled away, she shivered.
“We’d better get back,” he said. “After working up such a sweat, the night will soon chill us to our bones.”
Reluctantly, Helen nodded her agreement. Alex pulled out of her and offered her his hand to help her up. Her sides ached terribly from laughing so hard but it was a pleasant pain, a reminder of something very fun, and she had a feeling that she would need these memories to see her through the coming days.
When they had righted their clothing, Alex removed his jacket and held it out for her.
“But you’ll freeze!” she argued.
“Then you will just have to warm me up once we get back. Besides, at least I have shirt sleeves, you don’t even have that.”
Her arms were covered in goose pimples, so she allowed him to put the jacket on her and slipped her arms into the sleeves, vowing to make it up to him when they got home.
The coat was still warm and she pulled the lapels to her face and inhaled deeply.
“Are you sniffing my jacket?” he sounded amused.
“Maybe,” she blushed.
Taking her hand, they began to walk quickly back to the house.
“And what does it smell like?” he sounded curious.
“Rosewood, musk, maybe a little cinnamon and something that’s just… uniquely you.”
“Well, your hair smells like rose, lavender and coconut.”
“That’s my soap, and the coconut is from some concoction that Bessie likes to put on my hair to keep it nice.”
“Well it is silky,” he said, capturing a loose strand between his fingers. “But she’ll have to come up with some far hardier styles.”
Her free hand went to her hair and she discovered that it was a complete mess. She felt a moment of panic, that everyone would know what they had been up to but she reasoned that they were married and it was nobody’s business what they got up to; after all, they hadn’t broken any Commandments. As they got closer to the house, she relaxed as she realised that most of the windows downstairs were dark, meaning that most people were probably in bed.
“What time is it?” she asked.
Alex got his pocket watch out and opened it. “A little after eleven.”
“Good, that means that only the staff should be awake to witness my humiliation.”
She had meant it as a light-hearted comment but Alex tugged on her hand until she stopped and although she tried not to look at him, he put one finger under her chin and tilted her head up.
“There’s nothing shameful in what we did, Helen. This is how it should be between man and wife. You deserve all the pleasure that I can give you, and I’m never going to feel sorry for wanting you as much as I do.”
She still felt embarrassed but she smiled. She understood his sentiments, but things were different for women. Nevertheless, she stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed him, not caring who might see them.
“I love you,” she said as she pulled away.
A thousand watt smile formed on his lips.
“You do?” he looked stunned.
“Yes,” she laughed, not minding the ache it caused in her sides.
Suddenly her legs were dangling in the air as he picked her up and held her against him.
“I love you too,” he said, squeezing her almost to the point of pain.
Suddenly she realised that probably no one in his life had ever loved him before, not properly. His first marriage had been one strictly of convenience; his mother was a cold woman and his father sounded the same. His sister loved him but she was too cowed to show it properly, and his brother probably loved him but men didn’t often speak of such things. She was certain that his sons loved him, even Joe, but they couldn’t nurture like an adult could.
He owned Helen’s heart however, and she would do anything for him.
In many ways her life was far worse than his, with the stigma of being illegitimate and raised in a household that was largely hostile to her, but she had always had her father, and he had left her in no doubt that he adored her.
“I love you,” she told him, repeating the words over and over, not caring when the rain started, not minding when the thunder boomed and lightning lit up the sky. “I love you.”
They stood that way for what felt like an age but was probably only minutes. When Alex placed her back on the ground, he swept her wet hair back and cupped her face in his hands.
“I love you too, Helen, I hope you know that.”
She nodded. “You’ve shown me how much,” she answered, placing her hands over his.
She had assumed that her own gestures of affection would let him know how much she cared for him but she realised that the assumption was wrong now. Perhaps he suspected how she felt, but how could he know when he had never truly been loved before?
“Come on, we’d better get inside,” she urged and he agreed.
“Say it again,” he asked as they ran through the rain for a second time that day.
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“Again!”
“I love you!” she practically yelled. Her voice was gruff from their earlier yelling but it was evidently enough for him, as he swept her into his arms and carried her up to their rooms.
***
Alex awoke to a pounding on Helen’s bedroom door.
“Your Grace! Your Graces, are you in there?” The pounding resumed. “Please Sir, you must come quickly!”
Love, Lies and Murder Page 22
